Pokemon has been one of the most popular franchises in terms of video games, card games, toys, and cartoons in the world. And it’s been popular for a long time now. I was still in elementary school when Pokemon first took North America by storm. There were a lot of fights over card matches in the schoolyard. I’ll be honest though, I’ve never seen the appeal. I never got into Pokemon.
But I won’t deny that Pokemon is still kind of interesting. I think it’s something about how crazy people get over what cards they collect, and what rules they use to play, and how far they’ll go to catch a Pokemon with their bloody iPhones. Pokemon fans are kind of nuts. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing though. Everyone’s a little nutty.
So, why not add to the crazy a little bit by adding a new sort of collection that Pokemon fans can have? How about collecting photos of what Pokemon would look like in real life? Some of these guys actually seem to exist in the real world as real creatures. Sure, they don’t have the same abilities but… are you gonna try and “catch ’em all”?
I don’t mind saying that this is one ugly-looking Pokemon. And if this is what it would look like in real life, I’m very glad that Pokemon don’t exist. Especially if this guy wasn’t so rare. I wouldn’t want to come across one of these while wandering the streets or venturing through the woods. I mean, the cartoon version of this Pokemon is actually kind of cute and reminds me a lot of Charmander or Charmeleon. But this “real-life” version is terrifying. Especially when you consider that the damn thing is at least seven feet tall and weighs about 500lbs. Imagine if that thing got drunk and fell out of the sky…and on to you! You wouldn’t likely be waking up. I know that sounds like a weird scenario, but anything would be possible if these things were real.
If this is what Mewtwo would look like in real life…then I’m very happy that Pokemon don’t exist in anything other than cards, video games, and cartoon. Especially if he’s that much taller than a human being! I mean, he already looks like he’s ready to kill everyone around him. I’m very happy that he’s a rare Pokemon. If Pokemon were real, I’d be happy to know that the chances of running across this guy are very, very slim. I’d still feel pretty uncomfortable knowing that he exists though. It’s like a great white shark. They’re pretty cool-looking, and I know the chances of me coming face-to-face with one is slim…but they still exist and that scares the sh*t out of me. That’s pretty well how I’d feel if this version of Mewtwo was real.
Ok, first of all…this Pokemon has the coolest name out of any of them. I don’t even care if it is actually pretty lame. That just means that the rest of the Pokemon are even lamer. Geodude is awesome. The evolutions that this Pokemon has are pretty intense too. I mean, it goes from what you see here to getting fatter and sprouting two more arms. Then he gets a huge wall of rock armor as well as claws! It’s a pretty badass Pokemon. That being said, I would never want to meet up with one of these guys. It can fly and if he punched you it would be like getting hit in the face in an alleyway by a brick. No thank you. And Geodude doesn’t look like it would be the kind of Pokemon you would just stroll up to and shake hands with.
My only real knowledge of Venusaur comes from a hilarious cartoon video on YouTube that I watched years ago where he takes on Pikachu and Pikachu ends up cursing and swearing a bunch from being beaten by one hit. That being said, I think this is a more of a terrifying version of Venusaur than the one who kicked Pikachu’s ass. This “real-life” version has got blood all over its mouth. I don’t even know how to address that. It’s not like you often see a bloodied Pokemon and definitely not one that has blood on it that is from something else. Sure, the original version does look a little bit like a creepy predator but I think the “real-life” version is really something else. Another level of creepy and predator.
According to the Pokedex, Squirtle is actually not quite two feet tall and weighs less than 20lbs on average. That’s a small Pokemon. Not as small as Staryu or some other unoriginal Pokemon like that. Squirtle is pretty interesting though. It’s basically a turtle that can apparently jump right out of the water like a flying fish. And based on the expression on this Pokemon’s face here…Squirtle would be scary as all hell to come across in real life, I think. His dark eyes and that weird sort of smile or snarl or whatever that is…it makes him look pretty evil. Not to mention that I think anyone seeing a horned turtle flying out of the water like that would be pretty likely to p*ss themselves. Sometimes I’m really glad that Pokemon aren’t real. Most of the time I don’t care and I don’t think about it. But this article is making me realize.
So, here’s the thing. I can’t actually recall what this creature is on the right side of the photo. But the interesting thing here is that this creature exists in real life and at least somewhat resembles Jigglypuff. I’m sure this isn’t that creature that Puff was based on, but they are fairly similar. I mean, realistically it looks like Kirby got into a bad meth habit and just drugged himself to oblivion, but it is kind of cool to see a real-life comparison to some of these Pokemon, rather than just what we think they would look like. And let’s be honest about Jigglypuff anyway. This Pokemon is who based off of Kirby. Just made to look a bit more feminine and cat-like at the same time. Jigglypuff is like a mix between Kirby, the Powerpuff Girls, and Hello Kitty.
Lapras is a gigantic Pokemon. I’m very thankful that this Pokemon is not real. I’m also very thankful that, even if it was, I don’t live by the ocean. So I don’t have to care if it’s real or not. This Pokemon really looks like it could do some damage. Even if it decided to surface on the water, it’s shell could just rip apart a boat. And that would be about 500lbs of Pokemon driving into the thing. I have a feeling that the creators of Pokemon decided that they needed something like the Lochness Monster to go into their Pokedex, so they made this creature. I feel bad for it though. Being stuck in a Pokeball has got to be one of the worst feelings ever. Especially if you’re 20 times the size of the average human being. I never understood why trainers torture their Pokemon.
Alright, so carp is a real type of fish. As you can see in the photo to the right (that I think might have been edited a bit), it can get quite large. And it’s true. Carp are known for being pretty beefy. So I find it really interesting that Magikarp is so bloody small. I know that the whole thing with Pokemon is that they’re supposed to be able to evolve and they become bigger and more powerful. But give this Pokemon a start at least. If I were any cat-like Pokemon, I would just swat this little thing down and gobble it up. Same with any bird-like Pokemon. I mean, it does eventually turn into a giant sea-serpent, but until then…it’s kind of f*cked. And it’s interesting because according to the Pokedex, Magikarp actually isn’t all that small. But every photo you see of it, it’s tiny compared to every other Pokemon.
Eevee is a pretty tiny Pokemon and it has eight different evolutions in can go through. It all depends on what you expose it to, how friendly you are to it, and what experience it gains. Each version of Eevee is pretty deadly. Except for this realistic version above. Eevee just looks so cute and cuddly. It’s like a mix between a cat and a rabbit. Maybe a more tame version of a jackalope? I’m sure, just like cats, that if you pissed Eevee off you would have a world of trouble but I wouldn’t think I’d be in danger if I came across this little critter somewhere in the real world. I would definitely want to go up and pet it. And that might end up being a mistake…but I don’t really think so. After all, Eevee only has two abilities. ‘Run Away’ and ‘Adaptability’. Doesn’t sound too dangerous to me.
It seems pretty obvious by this artist’s version of a real-life Slowbro that this Pokemon is slow in more than one way. The shadow Ash in this picture seems to be holding a lollipop out for the Pokemon and that seems to be enough to get him to follow. That’s pretty pathetic and sad. But I’ve also just realized something about this picture. If Slowbro is only just over five feet tall, according to this picture that means Ash is really, REALLY short! Crazy. Did you ever think that Slowbro is actually just a giant snail who grew out of his shell? That’s the way it seems with his spiked tail. It just looks like he had his tail trapped in there and can never get it out. But I guess it can at least be used as a pretty damn good weapon.
Alright, I know that Pikachu is probably the most overrated Pokemon in the universe. It might have something to do with Pikachu being the very first Pokemon people really get to know in the show. Ash’s little companion. But there’s something about this “real-life Pikachu” that is just adorable. I think it’s because he looks like a really, really fat chipmunk chomping down on some green onion or chives…and I guess the chipmunk’s tail is more than a little messed up, but that’s beside the point. At the same time though, I have to say that this little guy also looks just a bit more than a little scary. The eyes on this Pikachu are pretty demon-like (at least the way demons are shown in Supernatural). I wouldn’t want to come across this little guy in the woods anyway. Shocking.
Now, how could this little guy be one of the most powerful Pokemon in the Pokedex? It’s true! When the first 151 came out, Mew and Mewtwo were two really special and rare creatures who had incredible powers. I can’t remember what made them so special according to the show or the games, but that doesn’t really matter for this article. The point is that this little guy is far too cute to be all that dangerous. Isn’t he? I wouldn’t expect it to have the power to kick my ass if I came across it in the woods or wandering through town. Big, adorable eyes, no claws, no visible sharp teeth. The little guy seems pretty damn harmless. I’d want to go up and pet it. Good thing I know better than to do that thanks to all of the Pokemon media out there…
See, now this guy is probably just made of screws and papier mache, but it’s a pretty good likeness of Magnemite. As far as we can see, this is what a real version of this Pokemon would be like. After all, Magnemite is nothing more than a ball, two magnets, and some screws. So it’s pretty simple to imagine what it would look like in our world. It’s based on items fro our world so we get by pretty easily. There’s almost nothing to say about the little guy other than that the artist here did a really good job at piecing this Pokemon together. I do have to be honest though here. The more I stare at the single eye in the middle of its body…the more I get kind of freaked out by this thing. It might be small but I still wouldn’t want to run across one of these walking around in real life.
There has been a lot of dragon stuff on tv lately. Especially thanks to Game of Thrones (even though we have to wait forever for the next season now). But I think Charizard would probably wipe the floor with Daenerys’ dragons. Why do I think that? Well, Dany’s dragons can breathe fire and turn into zombies. That’s about all they can do. I guess they can use their claws and teeth as well. Charizard can breathe fire, use claws and teeth, and it also has two abilities called ‘Solar Power’ and ‘Drought’. He’s already up a couple on his abilities. And since it’s not likely that Dany’s zombie dragon is going to help the other two, I think Charizard could take them down. Even if he just looks like a big, winged gecko in this real-life version.
Aww. It’s the very first stage of what eventually becomes Venusaur. Which I guess is meant to make this Pokemon sound like a dinosaur. But it’s kind of hard to take that seriously. especially when the real-life version of this Pokemon is actually just a toad with a bulb on its back. That just makes me laugh really hard. I mean, I guess I can’t pick on Bulbasaur too much since it’s just the first in several evolutions. I mean, it’s not like I could go around and pick on some neanderthal for being less evolved than I am. Either way, I still think it is hilarious that the real-life creature used to show this plant-based dinosaur is nothing more than a toad. And hey, it works really well. I think they look quite a lot alike, personally.
I don’t care what anyone says, this is a Pokemon I would not ever want to come across. Not even on Halloween. Could you imagine this ghastly creature (pun intended) flying around your neighborhood on Halloween night? The streets would be pretty full of screams…and then the streets would be pretty quiet. Of course, since it’s only ability at the “Gastly” state is ‘Levitate’, I think we might all just be fine. As long as we don’t forget that Gastly is both a ghost and a poison Pokemon. But hey, we already know who to call in a situation like that. We just call the Ghostbusters. If Pokemon were real, then why would the Ghostbusters be real? I think it would make perfect sense. Either way, even if Gastly is fairly harmless…I still wouldn’t want to run into one.
Ok, Charmander is just adorable. I don’t even care if it can throw fire at people. Actually, I do care about that and kind of wish that I had a pet Charmander so that I could get it to throw fire at people when they p*ss me off. I think that would be a great little creature to have around. And when things get tough, just get him to evolve into Charmeleon and eventually Charizard just to really show people who’s boss. Either way though, It’s pretty cool when there is already a creature that exists in real life that it seems a Pokemon was based on (as long as it’s not as boring as a starfish). But this little guy is cute and able to do a few more things than a starfish. Even if it can’t actually throw fire, it’s a lot more interesting to watch a lizard do things than watch a starfish cling to a rock.
What’s very interesting is that Bulbapedia (which is basically the wiki for all things Pokemon) has absolutely no information on this Pokemon. It’s almost as though this creature is so rare and legendary that they don’t even show its information. Just to prove how rare it is. What’s even more interesting is that Equifox seems to have a version for each season. It’s almost like Equifox is a play on the word Equinox. The creators of Pokemon actually put some thought into this creature. Unlike Krabby or Magikarp. Unfortunately, even though they put more time into this Pokemon (at least in terms of cleverness), they decided to keep most of that information away from the internet. Every other Pokemon on this list is easy to find stats for online. But this creature is a pain to find much about.
You might have noticed Magikarp somewhere in this piece. And if you haven’t, you might still know what Pokemon I’m talking about. And that’s all well and good…but how the hell does Magikarp evolve into this enormous creature!? Holy sh*t! I mean this thing can measure up to 21ft long and weigh up to over 600lbs. And that’s having grown from something that was only a couple of feet in length to begin with. Sometimes, I think the imagination of the creators is a bit out of whack. I think they might have gotten high more than a few times while trying to figure out what creatures would turn into what. “I’ve got it! Let’s take this little fish…and when it evolves it’ll become this gigantic sea serpent because that’s how it happened in real evolution, right?” Strange creatures…
I have to be totally honest here. I would be terrified if I saw one of these just randomly coming my way. If he was already a friend of mine then that would be a different story, but seeing a giant tortoise waddling over with cannons attached to his back? I’d be right the f*ck out of there. That being said though…Blastoise is a pretty cool Pokemon. Whoever came up with the idea for him must have been either an evil mastermind who once tried to rule the world with tortoises with cannons on their backs (a Dr. Evil-like thing), or they were just really high. “Hey guys, think about it. We take a tortoise, right? Slowest thing ever. But then we paint it blue and put cannons on its back. It’s like a really slow tank…really slow. But powerful!” I imagine that was how this Pokemon was introduced to the creators.
I’m sorry, but this Pokemon looks a little stoned right now. I can’t help but see that. I hope I’m not the only one. Most of the pictures you’ll find of the original version of this creature you might notice that Wooper looks either very, VERY happy…or very, VERY lost. I think that’s a sign that it’s been into some sort of drugs. Or maybe that’s just because of the creator. Either way, Wooper seems to be a pretty strange but kind of pointless Pokemon. I mean…it can absorb water and make thing wet with the water it absorbs. That doesn’t sound all that exciting to me. I’m sure it has its uses, but I think I would rather be able to defend myself in case gigantic sea serpent came at me. Or a lightning-covered bird. Or a big pile of rocks with claws sticking out. As far as Pokemon go, Wooper is pretty helpless.
Wow. This was a very creative way of making a Pokemon. In case you didn’t pick up on it originally, that was sarcasm. I’ve noticed that the creators of Pokemon like to take really simple creatures from our real world (once they’ve run out of ideas) and then just make them into silly-looking Pokemon. And they always seem to replace a ‘C’ with a ‘K’. The carp Pokemon is called Magikarp. The crab Pokemon is called Krabby. It’s amazing what people will come up with when they’ve spent the rest of their imagination creating creatures like Mewtwo or Zapdos or whatever else they make. Cards on the table here, I personally think that I would be more scared of an actual crab than I would be of Krabby. They should have at least made Krabby look like a spider crab. Those things are bloody terrifying!
Alright. So, Chikorita is some sort of grass Pokemon. And sort of looks like a pear with toenails. Which is kind of disgusting when I think too much about it. But it’s ok. Chikorita’s next evolution is to turn into Bayleaf. Which means that you could add some flavor to your spaghetti sauce with this Pokemon. Of course, you might start feeling bad cooking vegetables if this Pokemon were real. Especially since every form this creature takes is another plant form. Putting adorable (but somehow also evil) eyes on a plant like that sort of makes me feel bad that I eat my vegetables. If Pokemon were real, I’d have to give my mom sh*t for always telling me to eat my veggies. I mean…how may innocent Pokemon could I have killed after all these years?
Well, this is a pretty clear-cut case here. I mean…this Pokemon absolutely looks like a starfish. Or should I say…this guy is holding up a starfish that looks a lot like Staryu. It’s not hard since Staryu is actually just a starfish. A pretty basic Pokemon that was made with little imagination I guess. Though, to be as fair as I can, Starmie (the next evolution of Staryu) has a few more legs spread out from it. That’s how we know that the starfish up above has to be a Staryu. It’s just so basic in comparison to Starmie. After all, Starmie has another five additional legs. I’m sure that helps a lot with its special abilities to crawl along the seabed. When you think about how creative some of the original Pokemon really are, I find it almost insulting how basic Staryu is.
I’m not a fan of this sad little Pokemon. You know why? Well, because Togepi is meant to be a joyful and happy creature. It’s frequently found in the woods and is able to siphon happiness from other to give it to those who need it. It typically has a sunny outlook on life. So, to see one with tears in its eyes is kind of heartbreaking. I think it would take a lot to get one of these guys to tear up. You’ll notice that this guy is still in its eggshell. It never leaves its little home. It does tend to curl up inside it when taking a nap but it’s not until he evolves into the improved Togetic and sprouts wings for flying around. Either way, this guy is kind of adorable but he still sort of breaks my heart. I do think this guy’s a little strange though. I mean, it looks like his head (aside from the poison spikes) has taken on the shape of the top part of the egg that’s no longer there.
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