If you’re going to Vegas, take Glenn Rhee. He is the luckiest dude alive. Well, he isn’t technically alive since he’s a fictional character, but you get our point.
How lucky is Glenn? The guy's had a million close calls on The Walking Dead and somehow, he's still alive. Seriously, this guy almost dies every single season but he is still around. There is no killing Glenn. Well, actually, signs are pointing to him finally meeting his maker after Negan beats him to death with Lucille. If that happens in the season seven premiere, we’ll cry a million tears, but at least we’ve had six long seasons with the pizza delivery boy.
Robert Kirkman, the creator of The Walking Dead, actually stated that he always knew Glenn would die. In a way, that does make sense. Besides his quickness and navigational skills from delivering pizzas, his former life didn’t necessarily give him any skills that would help him survive. Rick was a sheriff, which obviously translates into his sharp shooting skills and ability to think quickly in tough situations. Daryl can hunt and track. Daryl's basically an animal. It’s amazing. While Glenn's lacking skill set may be a disadvantage, it is also why he is such a lovable character. Glenn is the everyman! If he can survive the zombie apocalypse, we all can.
This being said, Glenn should have probably died quite a few times in the series already. In fact, he should have died 16 times by now. Below are 16 close calls that were just too close. How did he manage to keep on keepin’ on all of these times? We don’t know, but we certainly hope his luck doesn’t run out in the season seven premiere.
16. When We First Meet Him (Season 1, Episode 2)
Literally, when we first friggin’ meet Glenn, he almost dies. Perhaps the show was setting us up for all of Glenn’s later close calls. They were like, "Meet the handsome Asian dude who you’ll obviously love and he’ll totally survive any situation in which he should die."
We hear his voice in the pilot episode, but it isn’t until the second episode when we physically meet Glenn. He helps Rick escape a deadly zombie situation, highlighting his good heartedness right away. After helping Rick to safety, the whole group is royally screwed, as the zillion zombies are about to overtaking the mall they are in.
Rick and Glenn venture out cloaked in zombie guts, which is a genius idea… until it rains. A zombie is sniffing Glenn like he’s a steak dinner as his zombie guts start washing off. Glenn is seriously about to be eaten but somehow both he and Rick hop a fence, jump in a car and manage to rescue the entire group.
This is certainly not Glenn’s stickiest situation of the entire series but there was literally a zombie sniffing him like Thanksgiving dinner.
15. When Glenn Is Kidnapped (Season 1, Episode 4)
Glenn, Rick and Daryl head back into the city to find Merle. On their mission, a group surviving in the city kidnaps Glenn. While at first glance this group seems to be full of baddies, they actually end up being okay people, as they stayed at a nursing home to take care of and protect the elders.
Still, they kidnapped Glenn and threatened to kill him. In almost every single other case, the kidnapped character didn’t get out unscathed. I mean, Beth was almost rescued but still died during the rescue mission. Hershel was taken by The Governor and lost his head. If you’re kidnapped, you’re in trouble... unless, you're Glenn. Glenn wasn’t so much as scratched by this group.
14. When The CDC Building Blew Up (Season 1, Episode 6)
This isn’t specific to Glenn but how the hell did they all get out of the exploding CDC building? Like, for real.
With the clock counting down to an explosion that looked like it took out a whole city block, the group found that the windows wouldn’t break. Miraculously though, Carol just so happens to have a grenade on her, which they throw at the window, causing it to shatter. They all then run out the window and make it to safety before the fireworks show. Even Andrea who was going to stick around and kill herself made it out with Dale, who was, like, 100 years old and probably couldn’t run all that fast.
Since everyone made it out, it’s believable that Glenn, the fastest of the group, made it to safety but the whole situation is very far fetched.
13. When Glenn Was Zombie Bait (Season 2, Episode 4)
If there is a zombie in a well, the very last thing I would ever do is volunteer to go in the well. That’s just me but, y’know, it seems like good common sense.
After arriving at Hershel’s farm, the group finds a huge ass zombie chillin’ in the well. The zombie is one of the grossest to have ever been on the show. It looks like Jabba the Hutt as a zombie. Whoever thought up this particular zombie has a sick mind. All that aside, the group doesn’t want to just shoot Jabba the Zombie and contaminate the water. Personally, I would think the water has already been contaminated by Jabba marinating in it, but whatever.
They concoct a plan to pull the huge zombie out of the well then shoot it. Glenn volunteers to be strung up with some rope, go into the well and lasso the zombie so they can pull him out. Of course, while in the well, Glenn gets loose and almost falls. I’m sorry, but being Jabba’s dinner would be the worst death ever.
In the end, Glenn was fine and they managed to pull the zombie up… until the zombie broke in half, with its lower half falling into the well anyway. Glenn’s near death experience was all for naught.
12. When Glenn Was In A Western (Season 2, Episode 9)
Remember that time The Walking Dead went full-on western? Yeah, season two made some odd choices.
After Shane releases the zombies from the barn, the group puts them down, including Hershel’s zombie wife. Upon seeing his zombified wife put down and dealing with the fact that zombies are not able to be saved, which is what he had believed, Hershel decides to take up his alcoholism again and goes to a nearby bar. Rick and Glenn find Hershel drinking whiskey and being emo. For the record, I hate when the characters get all boohoo on this show. Just kill zombies and be badass people. That’s why I watch.
A few baddies show up at the bar and clearly want to find out where Hershel’s farm is so they can take it. Quick shooting Rick takes them out easily but then the baddies’ friends come and they are baddies too. So many baddies, am I right? Hershel, Rick and Glenn engaged in a wild, wild west shoot out with these dudes and somehow no one is even injured, not even Glenn who is likely the worst shot of all three of the men.
11. When Glenn Had His Hands Tied (Season 3, Episode 7)
After being taken prisoner at Woodbury, Maggie and Glenn are placed in separate rooms and interrogated. Glenn was tried to a chair while Merle beats the shit out of him. After having said shit beat out of him, Merle releases a zombie into the room and closes the door… while Glenn is still tied to a chair.
It plays out in one of The Walking Dead’s most epic scenes. Glenn kicks the zombie, knocking the chair he's tied to over with the force. He gets up and tries to back himself against a wall to break the chair. When the zombie comes for him again, Glenn moves the springs from a mattress to protect him. By the way, what is this room? Why are there mattress springs just laying around? Is this like the junk drawer room of Woodbury? Okay, moving on.
Glenn gets into a situation where he is this close to breaking the chair and the zombie comes for him. The zombie snaps but luckily he bites the one part of Glenn that is duct taped to the chair. Apparently, zombies cannot bite through duct tape. Personally, I’d duct tape the shit out of myself every day if I knew that. Just in the nick of time, Glenn snaps the chair and uses a broken leg to kill the zombie.
Again, epic scene but really, Glenn survives this? At this point, Glenn roars like he’s Mufasa. This roar was probably supposed to show all of his pent up anger or something but it really just made me think of The Lion King.
1 When Glenn Was About To Be Executed (Season 3, Episode 8)
After Glenn kicked the zombie’s ass with his hands tied behind his back and Maggie was forced to strip, the pair were not in a good mood, understandably so. When Maggie and Glenn are stuck in a room together with the dead zombie, Glenn breaks off the zombie’s arm and fashioned a little shank out of the bone. We will totally give it up to Glenn for his resourcefulness.
When two guards come for Maggie and Glenn, they attack, trying to make an escape. Maggie puts that bone-shank straight into a dude’s jugular. By the way, Maggie is one of the most low key killers on the show. Since Woodbury has people and actual weapons and Maggie and Glenn just have a shank and each other, they are caught.
Maggie and Glenn are set kneeling down. Hoods are put over their heads because they were totally about to be executed. In that very moment, Rick and the gang stage an explosion and get their rescue mission underway. Lucky, lucky timing, right?
9. When Glenn Caught The Virus (Season 4, Episode 5)
As if zombies and The Governor weren't enough to deal with, a virus broke out in the prison. This virus had people coughing up blood and dying. Since it was contagious, anyone with the virus was forced to go to a separate part of the prison. It was so bad that basically everyone who came down with the virus died. In fact, Carol just started killing people with the virus because why not?
The two major characters who came down with the virus were Glenn and Sasha, neither of whom died. Glenn literally looked like he was a goner. At one point, he was gargling blood. Miraculously, just as Glenn's time was running out, the group returned with the medicine.
Glenn doesn't just survive close encounters with bad guys and zombies, but he also survives viruses that kill everyone else.
8. When Glenn's Alone At Zombie Prison (Season 4, Episode 10)
So, after Glenn survives the virus, he’s still weak. This is when The Governor attacks and beheads Hershel. Rest in peace, Hersh, you were a goodie. In the chaos, Maggie tells Glenn to get on the bus leaving the prison. Though Glenn's the fastest dude there, Glenn was weak AF and missed the bus, which actually may have been for the best. Maggie finds said bus and it is not a pretty sight. The bus was attacked and every passenger is now a zombie. Maggie looks at all the faces and realizes that Glenn is not one of them. (Duh, Maggie. Glenn never dies.) The whole virus thing ended up working out well for Glenn.
So, he missed the bus... but was left at the prison, which was overrun with zombies. We see him on a piece of rubble with, like, a million zombies below. He’s the only human around and it looks like he’s going to be zombie dinner.
Again, Glenn is resourceful and puts on a SWAT-style suit before braving the zombies. He even singlehandedly saved not only himself but Tara too. Not too shabby for a kid who used to deliver pizzas, huh?
Also, I would wear that SWAT suit every single day. These guys are always finding ways around being bitten and yet, they don't take these precautions every day. I’d duct tape my body, wear that SWAT suit and cover it in zombie guts. I’d be like a ghost moving thought the zombie world.
7. When Glenn Punches Abraham (Season 4, Episode 11)
Abraham seems like the type of dude who, if you were to punch him, you wouldn't live to tell the tale. I mean, for realsies, look at him. He's the scariest ginger that ever lived. So, when Glenn punched Abraham and lived to tell the tale, we were like, huh?
After joining up with Abraham, Eugene and Rosita, Glenn is still set on finding Maggie. Abraham, not known for his bedside manner, tells Glenn that Maggie is probably dead. Obviously, this would upset Glenn. This would upset anyone. But, most people would take one look at Abraham and think twice about punching him. Not Glenn. Glenn swings and strikes him right in the jaw. Abraham doesn't take this lying down.
Things settle down when zombies attack and Eugene almost get bit. Still, Abraham probably could have killed Glenn with his pinky finger.
6. When Glenn's In A Zombie Tunnel (Season 4, Episode 15)
In order to see Maggie, Glenn was willing to dive head first into a tunnel possibly full of tunnels. While romantic, it is perhaps not the most logical idea Glenn has ever had, especially since he could have driven a longer route and avoided the tunnel all together. But, whatever, Glenn is in love. Good for him.
Standing before the dark tunnel, Glenn and Tara are not sure if it is full of zombies or not but they are prepared to take their chances. At this point, Abraham, Eugene and Rosita split paths because they aren't about to venture into a zombie tunnel for funsies. When Glenn and Tara get deeper into the tunnel, it becomes quite apparent that there are a shit ton of zombies in there. When they are overwhelmed by zombies, Tara gets her leg caught between some rocks. Glenn, of course, refuses to leave her behind.
Just when Glenn and Tara are about to become zombie meat, Maggie, Bob, Sasha and the Abraham crew show up and save them. Someone is always there in the nick of time to save Glenn.
5. When Glenn's At Terminus (Season 5, Episode 1)
While at Terminus, Glenn, Bob, Daryl and Rick are taken to the slaughter room. They are bound and kneeling in front of a tub with a drain in the center. With four men in front of them, the Terminus guys methodically take them out one by one. The victim is first hit in the head with a baseball bat, then his head his pulled back by gripping his hair and finally, his neck is slit. One by one the four men lined up in front of the Rick crew are taken out and now, the Terminus guy winds up to take a swing at Glenn when Gareth asks him a question. He winds up again, only for an explosion to go off. Finally, the Terminus dudes leave the room but Glenn was 2 milliseconds away from having his head bashed and throat slit. It was too close to believe.
Of course, the creators may have wanted this particular scene as an Easter egg connecting to Glenn's comic book death by Negan's bat. Also, if he meets his death by Negan's bat in the show as well, this scene could be considered foreshadowing. We understand the whole foreshadowing thing because storytelling, but it still just rang as being way too convenient.
4. When Glenn's In The Revolving Doors (Season 5, Episode 14)
This may have been one of The Walking Dead’s grossest scenes.
Glenn, Nicholas and Noah are stuck in revolving doors with a heard of zombies swarming them. Since Nicholas is an asshole, he runs out, basically sentencing Noah to death. The zombies eat Noah, as Glenn watches in horror. You literally see Noah’s cheek torn right off his face.
Glenn is obviously terrified but how the hell did he get away from that herd? If he were to run, you’d think the zombies would push towards him, thus moving the revolving door and being able to chase Glenn. Zombies have also broken glass before, so that’s another option. It's also incredible lucky that Noah just so happened to be the character closer to the zombies. It could have so easily been Glenn.
3. When Nicholas Tries To Kill Glenn (Season 5, Episode 16)
Ah, yet another time when Nicholas was an asshole. After seeing Nicholas sneak over the wall in Alexandria, Glenn follows him. This is a trap and Nicholas shoots Glenn. What character in their right mind would ever want to shoot Glenn Rhee? Oh, that's right, an asshole character.
Since Glenn is invincible, he doesn't die form the gun shot. He attacks Nicholas when he is distracted by a walker. After fighting with each other, Nicholas runs off, leaving the wounded Glenn there to defend himself against the zombies that their noise attracted. Glenn is invincible so he gets out of that sticky situation, catches up to Nicholas again and holds a gun to him. Glenn decides not to shoot him because he's an angel. For the record, we would have totally shot Nicholas.
2. When Glenn Hides Under A Dumpster (Season 6, Episode 3)
This might have been the point when everyone called bullshit on Glenn’s luck. Glenn and Nicholas (yes, Nicholas the asshole) were on a dumpster, surrounded by zombies on all sides. Nicholas then shoots himself in the head and falls to his death, bringing Glenn down with him. In the cliffhanger, we are shown Glenn’s screaming face and guts being eaten. As it turned out, Nicholas’ body fell on top of Glenn and it was his guts that were being eaten while Glenn screamed under Nicholas. Glenn then slid under the dumpster and stayed there until the coast was clear.
Previously, we were shown that wearing zombie guts make you invisible to zombies but, well, wearing human guts wouldn't really make you invisible. In fact, being coated in Nicholas’ guts should really only make Glenn a tastier treat for the zombies. It’s like frosting. Also, wouldn’t the zombies go for Glenn’s face? It was exposed and we had just seen zombies literally eat Noah’s cheek. Somehow, though, the zombies don’t notice Glenn and he slid under the dumpster to live another day.
Here’s to you, Glenn and however the hell you survived that situation.
1. When Glenn Rescues Maggie (Season 6, Episode 9)
Glenn and Maggie may have been the central relationship for much of the show but the whole true love thing has a hard time fitting into this zombie-ridden world. Look at Rick. He lost Lori and then went full-on emo, imagined people calling a phone and had Lori hallucinations. He tried to move on with Jessie and then he had to hack her hand off with an axe while she was eaten by zombies. Loving someone just sets you up for a world of pain.
When Alexandria was taken by a heard of zombies, preggo Maggie was up on the wooden platform normally used to keep watch. There were like 1,000 zombies underneath, ready to eat Glenn’s wife and Glenn’s unborn baby. In a typical Glenn move, to save Maggie, he draws the zombies towards him. We're swooning for his self-sacrificing nature, but also there were like 600 zombies swarming Glenn. Miraculously, just as it looks like Glenn is going to be zombies dinner, Abraham, Daryl and Sasha show up and gun all the zombies down. Not only is this timing, like, way too perfect, but Glenn also managed to not be shot by a single stray bullet. Even if Abraham can shoot a bull’s-eye from a zillion feet away, can all three characters take down 600 zombies and not even nick Glenn? Well, apparently so.
Glenn may have had a lucky run for a kid who used to deliver pizza. Will his luck run out during the season seven premiere? We’ll just have to wait until October 23rd to see.