If you're a beautiful young lady, or happen to know one with aspirations of one day living the Playmate lifestyle, you might want to think again after reading this. From the outside looking in, it seems like a dream situation, but once you're on the inside, the dream can quickly turn into a nightmare.
Getting your foot in the door is usually a big step for one's career. There are numerous advantages that come with being one of Hugh Heffner's pets, such as getting more exposure, mingling with celebrities, being taken care of, and getting an allowance and access to cars, jewelry, and even plastic surgery -- which is obviously quite common -- especially when it's free of charge.
But there's a flip side, and once you're in, you can quickly feel like you're trapped and can't get out. There are strict rules, routines, and codes of conduct you must abide by. You can't just do whatever you feel like doing at any given time. Everything goes through the old man, and he has total control.
Obviously, the girls aren't held captive, and they can leave whenever they want, but it's much easier said than done. And with all the perks that come with the position, the situation is enticing enough for many of them to stay, even long term. However, for many Playmates, when the negatives start outweighing the positives, and they start getting tired of their daily rules and routines, it's then time to bail.
So if you're hoping to one day make it into the Playboy mansion, you must realize that while it may be a gateway to a better life, it's not the endpoint -- it's only the beginning, a stepping stone to finding a more successful career and a far more meaningful relationship -- hopefully. You will also need to understand exactly what you're getting into and what the previous and current Playmates are going through themselves so you know what to expect or what to avoid at all costs.
So what is the Playmate lifestyle really like?
When you think of the Playmate lifestyle, you think of wild parties, nights out on the town, vacations, and other fun activities. But on a normal day, there is a curfew. That's right, a curfew. The girls have to be on the grounds by 9 pm. Even when you were in high school, your parents weren't that strict.
The staff monitor and ensure that the girls don't break curfew, and if they do, they risk losing their weekly allowance, or at least taking a pay cut. According to one of the former Playmates, "When you're here you have to be in by the 9 pm curfew." Even Holly Madison said, " Everyone thinks that the infamous metal gate was meant to keep people out. But I grew to feel it was meant to lock me in." We're not off to a good start here.
14 Social Media
Just like most people around the world, the Playmates love using social media. What else is there to do when you're locked in your room at 9 pm and bored out of your brains? Most Playmates use social media for the same reasons as the rest of us: to keep in touch with friends, post pictures and updates, and basically socialize.
However, there are even rules and guidelines when using social media under Hef's roof. According to Melissa Howe, "There are even rules about Instagram and Twitter. You've got to show everything in a good light, and if you're drunk in a picture, you'll be in trouble." What kind of trouble? We're not sure, but we assume another pay deduction would be the likely scenario, perhaps accompanied with a spanking?
When you think of the Playboy mansion, you envision high-class luxury all around. We know about the famous grotto and the spectacular grounds, but inside is a different story. There are countless statements by former Playmates about how dated the décor is, including the rugs and carpets, which have dog poop all over them since some Playmates are allowed to have their pets with them living in the mansion.
As for the bedrooms, Izabella St. James stated, "Although we all did our best to decorate our rooms and make them homey, the mattresses on our beds were disgusting — old, worn and stained. The sheets were past their best, too." Not sure you'd want to sleep on a bed that has been used and abused by Hef and other Playmates from previous years. You'd think with all that money, he'd replace them when a new Playmate moves in, but apparently not.
12 Girlfriend #1
Okay, so you've made it into the mansion as one of Hef's girlfriends, along with seven or eight other beautiful girls, but if you're chosen to be his number one girlfriend, be prepared for a few extra responsibilities.
First of all, the number one girlfriend gets the same perks as the other Playmates but has to do a lot more work than the others, including sharing a bed with the old man of the house. That means that you're spending way more time together than the others have to. Not sure that's a good thing. This also means that you're probably going to be having way more sex with him, too -- not bad if you're into having sex with dirty old men. Enjoy!
11 Nights Out On The Town
After being stuck in your room with a curfew all week, you finally get to dress up and go out for a night on the town. These girls are young and usually love hitting the clubs for some nightlife. But as usual, there are rules and codes of conduct that come along with these situations as well.
There are no solo dates, according to Kendra Wilkinson. That means that you only go out as a group with Hef and all of the other Playmates. He loves showing off his women, so you need to stick together, especially for all of the photo-ops. If you miss a photo or even miss out on one of the 'nights on the town' entirely because you were out of town for whatever reason -- a wedding, a sick relative etc.. that means that you could face a deduction in your salary.
10 No Boys -- Ever
Obviously, if Hef has offered you a position as a Playmate, and you've moved into the mansion, you're now basically one of his girlfriends. Even though he's rich and famous, he's still a regular guy, and the last thing he wants is some competition. Would you want some other guy coming to your house to visit one of your girlfriends? Didn't think so.
Not only do the girls have a ridiculously early curfew, but they're not allowed to invite anyone over, especially boys. Karissa Shannon let everyone know when she said, "We were not allowed to have boys in the house. That was the absolute number one rule — no boys allowed. That was one of the main reasons we moved out." No surprise there.
As previously mentioned, the Playmates get a weekly allowance, which is $1000. That would mean that the girls are making $4000 a month for basically doing nothing. Not bad, right? Well, according to Izabella St. James, the process of getting paid was a nightmare.
In her book Bunny Tails: Behind Closed Doors at the Playboy Mansion, she says, "Every Friday morning we had to go to Hef's room and then ask for our allowance. We all hated this process. Hef would always use the occasion to bring up anything he wasn't happy about in the relationship. Most of the complaints were about the lack of harmony among the girlfriends -- or your lack of sexual participation in the 'parties' he held in his bedroom. If we'd been out of town for any reason and missed one of the official 'going out' nights he wouldn't want to give us the allowance. He used it as a weapon."
8 Code of Conduct
We all know that there's a code of conduct when living with Hef in the mansion. We're not sure if the ladies have to sign anything related to this 'code of conduct,' but we do know it entails quite a number of rules that have to be followed. The code of conduct is strictly enforced, and if the girls don't abide by them, they can either be denied their salary or kicked out of the mansion.
It's no surprise that there are certain rules, especially with so many girls living under one roof at the same time in the prime of their lives. However, Hef is a bit old-fashioned, so breaking curfew, misuse of social media, having guests, tension with other girls, lack of sexual participation, and many other conduct and behavioral issues can get you in trouble. You'll either get an email or get scolded on payday.
7 Drugs And Alcohol
When you're living in this kind of situation, which involves so much sex and partying, combined with the strict rules and downtime, there's no doubt that there's going to be a lot of alcohol along with some sort of drugs floating around.
Izabella St. James was quoted in her book saying, "Quaaludes were supposed to give you a nice buzz. Hef told me once that they were meant to put girls in the mood for sex." As for Holly Madison, she was quoted in her book 'Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny' saying, "Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading." Doesn't sound like Holly was enjoying herself that much, despite all the party favors.
6 Intercourse and Expectations
If you're wondering what intercourse is like at the mansion between Hef and his stable, it's probably exactly what you thought, only funnier. It's probably better if we just share some first-hand accounts.
From Jill Ann Spaulding in her book Upstairs: "When it first gets started, his main girlfriend gives him oral, then she has sex with him. She's the first to go because that's the safest for her. No protection and no testing. He doesn't care." She added, "Hef just lies there with his Viagra erection. It's just a fake erection, and each girl gets on top of him for two minutes while the girls in the background try to keep him excited. They'll yell things like, 'F*** her daddy, f*** her daddy!'"
Kendra Wilkinson says in her book Sliding Into Home: "At about the minute mark, I pulled away, and it was done. It was like a job. Clock in, clock out. It's not like I enjoyed having sex with him."
And finally, Hef is known to keep some baby oil, tissues and Vaseline in every single room in the mansion because you never know when you might need them, and there's no sense wasting time or killing the moment to go find what you need.
5 Other Allowance
Well, of course, there are some advantages to living the Playmate lifestyle, other than the weekly cash allowance/paycheck (provided that you're behaving properly). The girls also receive an allowance for buying clothes, which is great because most girls obviously love to shop, and Hef needs his women looking hot at all times.
There are also other perks, including fancy cars and jewelry, but only if the Playmates stay at the mansion. Once they leave, no more use of the car or the jewelry. At least they get to live in style during their stay. After all, happy wives, happy lives. Plus, they need to represent the Playboy brand and image, of course.
Blondes have more fun, especially in Hef's world. He loves women, obviously, but he has a particular penchant for the sexy blonde ladies. They are, by far, his favorite, so if you're not a natural blonde, you might want to think about dyeing your hair; otherwise, you've severely decreased your chances at becoming a Playmate.
Former Playboy Bunny, Holly Madison, even said that Hef specifically wants his girls to be “busty blondes with bright-blonde hair.” He must love California. There's a reason that you always see pictures of Hugh Hefner surrounded by buxom blondes. That's just the way he rolls.
3 Plastic Surgery
Aside from the weekly salary, allowance for clothes, and all the cars and jewelry, the girls also have unlimited access to plastic surgery, all paid for by the Hefmeister. That's right. The girls are free to have whatever plastic surgery they feel is needed, or whatever is wanted by the Hef.
This is a win-win for all parties involved. The girls get to have whatever they feel will make them look better, and Hef gets to enjoy the results of the procedure. The result is hand-picked hotties being customized to look even hotter than they were originally when they beat out countless other women for the position. Mr. Hefner's got it made -- literally.
2 Playboy Parties
Now this is something everyone knows about and imagines when they hear the words 'Playboy Mansion.' The parties are legendary, and they're for all sorts of different occasions such as Mardi Gras, Halloween, 4th of July, and many others. All of the parties at the mansion are exclusive, meaning Hef has the final say on who's invited.
The good thing about these parties for the Playboy bunnies is that they can surround themselves with celebrities and other rich, influential men, except if they happen to be one of the Playmates living in the mansion with Hef. In that case, they have to enjoy the party sitting next to their sugar daddy while watching all the other girls having fun and 'mingling' with the other guests.
1 Organized Routine
As you can see, for the Playmates living in the mansion, there are many rules and a code of conduct, which all girls must follow. Whether it's collecting their allowance, their roles and behavior at parties or when they go out on the town, curfew, or even the physical activities in the bedrooms, the girls' lives are organized for them.
Activities are arranged for the girls by the man running the show. It's his show, his house, and his rules, so the girls basically do as they're told. It's Hef's way or the highway. If he says 'jump,' the Playmates ask 'how high?' For many girls, this lifestyle is tolerable at first, but it quickly grows old -- no pun intended. That's why many of the girls end up leaving and writing books about their experience. They obviously have a lot to get off their chests -- also no pun intended.