Sometimes, we all need a shrink. Unfortunately, there’s a weird, negative stigma surrounding going to see a counselor, a psychologist, or a psychiatrist — as if confessing we needed help organizing our thoughts and emotions was a bad thing. Well campers, we’re here to shut that theory down. Going to a shrink, or whatever you choose to call them, can really only be a good thing. Whether you’re in desperate need of someone to talk to or just want to get a firm grip on how to get and stay happy, therapists capable of boosting our mental and emotional states are only a help.
It’s great if you can find a shrink that you like. If you find one you love and can really open up to, that’s even better. And if you can find one you trust and think is more radiant that the morning sun, well damn — you’ve got yourself a keeper. Typically, on TV, shrinks are portrayed as old people, usually men, who have let their bellies grow large and have weary eyes hidden behind cheap wiry glasses and look just as in need of help as their patients do. But occasionally, especially nowadays, our shrinks on TV have gotten hotter, leaner, healthier, smarter, and generally more attractive. They’re babes that want us to open up about our feelings.
So let’s talk about these babes that have spent entire decades figuring out how to get into and stay inside of our minds, whether they’re on the clock or in our daydreams. Here are fifteen of television’s hottest shrinks:
15. Dr. Jennifer Melfi
Jennifer Melfi had one of the worst-case scenarios for a psychiatrist: she was unlucky enough to get a patient that kind of held her life in his hands, Tony Soprano. The psychiatrist of the mafia boss was a regular character on HBO’s hit series, The Sopranos, and we felt bad for her every time we saw her. Tony would confess to her some of the worst and darkest secrets of his life — things he would not share with his cohorts or his wife or his children, and she was unable to share a smidgen of that information with the authorities — doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. And even if she had breached that rule, it certainly couldn’t have done her any good to rat on one of the largest crime bosses ever known! So poor, gorgeous Jennifer sat through every session while putting up a brave front and hoping Tony never got so frustrated with her that he put her name on a list…
14. Dr. Libby Smith
Libby wasn’t with us for long on Lost, but we were so blessed to have her as long as we did. She was only on season two of the show as one of the survivors of the tail-section of the plane. She was best known for helping Sawyer survive the trek back across the island, for talking Hurley down from the edge of suicide and falling in love with him, and for the tragic and painful death that she endured at the hands of Michael (oh yeah, spoiler alert). But, if you’ll remember, Libby had a rough time before ever coming to the island. This hottie bounced from a medical education to studying clinical psychology before her husband tragically died, and she had to admit herself into a hospital due to the trauma of his death. Even with all that sadness and hardship, Libby has totally got it going on. As Hurley’s imaginary friend, Dave, tells him, she is way too hot to be going out with a guy like him.
13. Dr. Molly Clock
Time for some goofy docs. Heather Graham played one of the sexiest shrinks we’ve ever seen on Scrubs, Dr. Molly Clock. Molly dated protagonist John Dorian for a while and proved to be one of the best friends any of the main characters could have asked for until she got a job offer she couldn’t refuse and had to move away. Molly was another one of those shrinks that seemed to be the perfect role model, one who was totally happy and had their life completely put together — but really, Molly was just like any of us: in need of love, lonely, trying to seem more put together than she really was, and searching for the little things that help us make it through our days. Heather Graham has played some damn sexy roles in her career, but Molly has to make it to one of her top five roles.
12. Dr. Elizabeth Dehner
Oh yeah, it’s throwback time. We’re going to take you all the way back to the original Star Trek, back when the production value was dismal but the writing was always solid (ignoring the occasional Shatner/dinosaur fights). In the first episode, Dr. Elizabeth Dehner was an officer of Starfleet and a psychiatrist interested in the behavior of espers (also known as extrasensory perceptions or ESP). In an incursion beyond the galactic barrier, she (as well as other crew members like Gary Mitchell) was afflicted with psionic powers. She ended up having to sacrifice herself on Delta Vega to ensure Mitchell was defeated by Captain Kirk, this, of course, happening after Mitchell had become maliciously power hungry. But DAMN, what a shame. Not only was Elizabeth a great doctor and psychiatrist, she also rocked that little blue science officer’s uniform and could have been an amazing love interest if she’d survived.
11. Dr. Beverly Barlowe
Not many people know about or watched this series, which is kind of surprising and remarkable considering it ran for six years. The premise of the show Eureka was that the best minds and most talented, remarkable people are all relocated to a small town (the namesake of the show) where futuristic inventions and innovations are inspired in order to aid the government keep ahead of the curve. Dr. Beverly Barlowe was the town shrink as well as the primary villain of seasons one, two, four, and five due to her desire to exploit the innovations of the town for her own personal gain. But true to her trope, this wicked lady was also wicked hot. Played by Debrah Farentino, this lovely lady was clearly not one to be trifled with. She was ingenious, clever, sexy, manipulative, discreet, and beautiful — no wonder her evil plots neared success on so many occasions!
10. Dr. Lainey Winters
We’re sure there aren’t a whole lot of you that watch soap operas. Most of the time, they’re on at weird times, and the writing is so bad that we can’t stand to listen to the characters speaking for very long. If your grandma switches them on during the middle of the day, that’s usually a sign to you that you could be doing anything better with your time. We get it — but you’re missing out on some mega hotties.
Exhibit A: Dr. Lainey Winters, a star of General Hospital. Played by actress Kent King (whom you may know from Love and a Bullet or Knots Landing), the character didn’t exactly have to be well-written for us to want to pay attention. She is a stunning, gorgeous, radiant lady with a smile that could kill and who could prescribe us Tic Tacs for our melancholia, and we’d just smile and nod.
9. Dr. Harper Stanhope
Harper was very briefly known in her time on Lost, but her character was certainly memorable enough to us to be included here in our list of sexy psychologists. Dr. Harper Stanhope was the community psychologist to the group of researchers on the island known as “the others.” She was there to make sure everyone adjusted to island life well. (It must have been so hard to live in a tropical paradise.) Unfortunately for us, she was a small character that only really popped up in one scene where Juliet Burke was chasing down scientists from the freighter while simultaneously reliving regrets of falling in love with a man she wasn’t supposed to fall in love with. (Coincidentally, the man was Harper’s husband, Goodwin.) Harper wasn’t exactly nice (kind of the complete opposite), but she sure was sexy, and it was hard for us to see why Goodwin would go looking for a side piece when he had her at home.
8. Dr. Andrea Bayden
We don’t know a whole lot about Andrea’s history, but does it really matter? She’s played by the almighty Tina Fey, and that’s all you really need to know.
Unlike in season one where Tina appeared as the prosecuting dolt of a lawyer trying to take down the great Reverend Richard Wayne Gary Wayne, in season two, Tina appeared in a much more natural role — that of a psychologist who has her life together by day but is a drunken hot mess by night. Of course, with the help of the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Andrea is able to get her life back on track — but we have so much fun watching this irreverent, honest, hilarious portrayal of the true lives of shrinks, we almost don’t care about Kimmy’s story line. We want to go out partying with Andrea! It’s yet another role that once again proves how hilarious and sexy and brilliant Tina Fey can be.
7. Dr. Linda Martin
You were likely making the same face as Doctor Linda here when you heard the plot of her show, Lucifer: the devil decides to move to Earth and takes up residence in the middle of Los Angeles. Um… okay, I guess…
Turns out, Lucifer is sinfully hilarious. Tom Ellis plays the devil himself and regularly visits his shrink to talk about his entertaining findings above ground. His shrink is Dr. Linda Martin, played by the gorgeous and hilarious actress Rachael Harris. Thankfully, Linda has been in every episode across the three seasons, and we get to see her adorable face every time we tune into the show. Their banter is cute and quirky, but seeing her help Lucifer deal with the foibles of man is even funnier. Even if Earth has nothing left staying for, we think Lucifer would stay above ground and let hell freeze over just to hang out with this hottie.
6. Dr. Harleen Quinzel
You didn’t think we’d get through a list of TV’s greatest shrinks and not touch on the one case gone most terribly wrong, did you?! How could we even deign to leave out the wonderful Harleen Quinzel?!
Harleen Quinzel has been a regular character on the DC animated series Batman, though you all likely know her better from her many comic book appearances, her own comic series, or her appearance in the latest Suicide Squad movie (where she was played by Margo Robbie). Her story is an interesting one: a young psychologist, she got a job at Arkham Asylum in hopes of writing a tell-all book about super criminals. There, she met Joker, who wooed her into his evil ways. She shortly after adopted her new persona — the sexy, insane, and tantalizing Harley Quinn — and broke Joker out of Arkham. They’ve been thick as thieves ever since, and we’re glad she opts to work in costume whenever on screen.
5. Dr. Dani Santino
Dr. Dani’s show isn’t exactly the most popular, or anything. Her USA program, Necessary Roughness, was a two-year running show about a psychologist for sports stars (who later dabbles in treating celebrities of all walks). And we don’t want to be lewd or anything, but we’d love to watch just a little bit of necessary roughness with this babe.
Dr. Dani Santino, played by Callie Thorne, is incredibly sexy and obviously was not too afraid to show off all the goodies she had. She was tough, defensive, guarded, and comforting in a weirdly abrupt way. She’s kind of the perfect psychologist for dudes who don’t want to let their guards down… but we were really only interested in watching her strut her stuff across the screen. Callie starred alongside Scott Cohen, Mehcad Brooks, and Marc Blucas, but despite the decent cast and seemingly popular subject matter, the show didn’t last long. Good luck catching a glimpse of that hot bod these days.
4. Dr. Bedelia Du Maurier
If there are any shrinks that must have really messed up in their careers, Bedelia Du Maurier has got to make the list. Why? Well, she was Hannibal’s shrink. Need we say more?
Bedelia has always been a sketchy gal. In season one, she claims that one of her patients died when trying to strangle her… but it seems pretty dang clear that Hannibal helped her kill him or that maybe she did it entirely on her own after Hannibal’s provocations. Then she has a weird exchange with Hannibal that indicates they may have been working in cahoots when she potentially misled the FBI as they were hunting him. And then, remember season three when she was EATING HER OWN LEG?! Yeah, this lady has issues — but despite Hannibal’s brainwashing and her lunacy, she is one hot lady. Maybe we don’t want to have a private session with her, but we’d love to watch her some more.
3. Dr. Violet Turner
If you were a fan of Grey’s Anatomy, you likely got excited when they announced there was a spin-off that would follow the career of Dr. Addison Montgomery played by Kate Walsh. The show, which centered on this doctor’s practice and life, was the typical drama of a doctor and her cohorts being unable to practice the healthy and happy lifestyles they preached. While it might not have been the most original plot ever thought up for a show, it was able to run a solid six seasons before wrapping up. Why? Not really because of the talents of Kate Walsh. Uh, no — we were mostly there because of Doc Violet Turner. Dr. Turner was played by the stunningly gorgeous Amy Brenneman and had such an interesting history and rich personality. She was just so much fun to watch, we wanted to reach into our TVs and give her a well-deserved hug.
2. Dr. Deanna Troi
We are indeed returning to Star Trek. Don’t even try to argue with us because this hot mama deserves to be talked about even if we’ve already brought up the franchise.
Dr. Deanna Troi was in Star Trek: The Next Generation alongside Captain Picard and Officer Riker. Dr. Troi was the ship’s counselor and was likely used a hell of a lot since the Enterprise was typically out on missions in the middle of space for years at a time. You’d get a little stir crazy, too, if you didn’t have anywhere to go that didn’t sound like low-budget space-equipment sound effects. Luckily, they had this total babe that they could go and chat with to calm the crazy. Not only is she gorgeous, but she also had this remarkably calming voice and seemed so naturally elegant, anyone who went to her must have thought their troubles would simply float away.
1. Dr. Justina Jordan
First of all: it’s Samira Wiley. We would all kill to go on a date with Samira Wiley, let alone to captivate her attention for an hour every week. It’s no wonder that any role she would have would top our hot little list.
In You’re The Worst, a television show honing in on our worst dating instincts to seek out the people we know we won’t love forever but will madly love temporarily, Samira Wiley plays Gretchen’s (Aya Cash) therapist who is doing her best to help the poor, lost, lonely soul. We’re so glad that Samira joined the show just last year, especially since her leading character in Orange is the New Black was just killed off, and her time working on Telltale’s The Walking Dead: Michonne game had just wrapped up. Any moment we get to see this sexy angel grace our screen is a good time.
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