To say that Jessica Biel is hot would be a gross and irresponsible understatement. Jessica Biel is not simply hot the way that your Aunt Judy’s overcooked lamb chop straight out of the oven is hot. No, Jessica Biel is hot in the way that bathing naked in a river of molten lava is hot. She is hot in the way that flying a paper mache rocket ship into the heart of a supernova so that it obliterates you at a molecular level is hot. That is to say, she is really, really, really freaking hot.
When there is a pairing that involves Justin Timberlake, who in his own right happens to be one of the finest examples of the male form currently walking this green Earth, and Justin Timberlake is not the hottest half of that pairing, the world takes notice. And that’s what happened when Jessica Biel showed up and turned Justin Timberlake from that former boy band guy who cried on Punk’d and is BFFs with Jimmy Fallon into Mr. Jessica Biel. Next to his wife, Justin Timberlake looks like a pile of chewed-up, swallowed, and regurgitated bubblegum covered in dog hair and lit on fire.
If you have yet to fully grasp the immense magnitude of Jessica Biel’s hotness because you have been stranded on a lonely desert island since before 7th Heaven first hit the small screen back in 1996, we are here to educate you. So grab a bucket of ice to keep you cool and prepare to scroll through Jessica Biel’s fifteen hottest movie roles.
15. Blade: Trinity (2004)
In terms of cinematic quality, Blade: Trinity is not a good movie. In terms of eye candy, however, Blade: Trinity is unparalleled in its brilliance. The third and final entry into the Wesley-Snipes-led vampire franchise just might be the pinnacle of Jessica Biel’s scorching power. Thanks to a shockingly intense training regime leading up to the film’s production, coupled with an equally intense diet, Biel managed to achieve a level of physical fitness so perfect that it almost seems inhuman. She is muscular, lean, wields a bow and arrow, and kicks some serious vampire ass. And she always looks so, so good doing it. She is so face-meltingly hot in this movie that she can almost make you forget about Ryan Reynolds‘ abs. Actually that’s a total lie. Reynolds’ abs are unbelievable in the third Blade movie. It would be blasphemy to state otherwise. That man is a god.
14. Total Recall (2012)
Say what you will about remakes, but our stance is that if your reboot includes Jessica Biel then it is probably an improvement, even if you swap out Arnold Schwarzenegger in favor of Colin Farrell in the process. While the original Total Recall, released back in 1990, is something of a sci-fi classic, the 2012 version is pretty decent in its own right, boasting some grandiose action scenes and a pair of kick-ass ladies. That’s right, there are two of them. Not only is Biel heating up the screen next to Farrell, but so is Kate Beckinsale, who is one of the few actresses in Hollywood that can rival Biel both in her extraordinary hotness, but also in her ability to navigate through action movies like a champ. It must have been quite the risk for the producers to include both Beckinsale and Biel in Total Recall, simply because the heat generated by the two of them in hand-to-hand combat had the potential to literally melt the camera.
13. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
So far there have been seven movies in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise with more on the way, and while there have been a number of gorgeous young actresses who have gone up against the infamous Leatherface, none of them compare to the Daisy Duke inspired hotness radiating from Jessica Biel during the 2003 remake. And that’s saying something, especially considering the fact that Jordana Brewster and Diora Baird are rival smokeshows in the 2006 prequel, and Alexandra Daddario lights up on the big screen during the most recent entry in the series. You just can’t deny the heart attack inducing hotness of Jessica Biel in a sexy cowgirl outfit. The jeans, the stomach-baring t-shirt, the hat, the boots. It’s almost too much. It’s a good thing there isn’t much of a plot to follow because there is no way we would be able to pay attention to it with Biel stealing our focus every single time she enters frame.
12. The Rules Of Attraction (2002)
The Rules of Attraction is a dark and strange movie, primarily focused on a love triangle between three self-destructive college students in New Hampshire. Of course, if you know anything about the author of the book that the movie is based on, Bret Easton Ellis, the same guy who wrote American Psycho, then you know that The Rules of Attraction has to be dark and strange. But if the allure of a trio of attractive liberal arts students dramatically dealing with their feelings for one another doesn’t immediately inspire you to grab a copy of the film, then maybe learning that Jessica Biel plays a promiscuous, often scantily-clad, drug-taking party animal will. She might not be the most likeable character in the history of cinema, thanks to her sleeping with her roommate’s budding love interest, but she is certainly one of the hottest.
11. Next (2007)
Next stars everyone’s favorite scene chewer, Nicolas Cage, as a man who can see two minutes into the future. It is widely considered to be the movie equivalent of accidentally walking in on your mother shaving her legs— that is to say that it is rather unpleasant, filled with more screaming than you would like to admit, but otherwise a fairly harmless experience. The saving grace of this Cage-tastic dumpster fire is that it also features Jessica Biel. More specifically, it features Jessica Biel in a towel, which is always a very good thing and something that walking in on your mother shaving her legs will never include. (Unless, of course, Jessica Biel is your mother. If so, we are not envious of the inevitable Oedipal Complex you will no doubt be strapped with for the rest of your life.) You really don’t need to be able to see the future to predict that the only good reason to watch Next is to gaze upon the magnificence of Mrs. Biel.
10. The Illusionist (2006)
This is probably the most unique of the credits on Jessica Biel’s filmography. While the vast majority of her roles take place in either romantic comedies or action flicks, The Illusionist, starring Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti, is a dramatic period piece about a magician in Vienna in the nineteenth century who uses his tricksy skills to win the affection of a beautiful woman, obviously played by Biel. It is this kind of role that truly shows off how stunning Biel really is. In other films on this list, you can find her rocking a bikini or wrapped up in a towel or strolling about in her underwear, but in The Illusionist the actress is constantly costumed in the garb of the 1800s, which is not exactly the kind of wardrobe that screams, “Sexy!” Nonetheless, Biel still manages to entrance audiences with her beauty.
9. Summer Catch (2001)
Summer Catch is a pretty standard romantic comedy that rests smack dab in the middle of those weird couple of years where you couldn’t seem to go to the movie theatre without running across Freddie Prinze Jr.‘s face, and now can only really be found in the DVD discount bin at Walmart. So yeah, it is basically ninety minutes of sappy, mediocre drivel. But it is also ninety minutes of sappy, mediocre drivel that prominently features Jessica Biel in a bikini. And also Jessica Biel in a wet t-shirt. Honestly, she seems to spend an awful lot of the movie in and around a pool, which sounds like a pretty awesome viewing experience if you ask us. So if you can ignore the derivative plot, the cliché characters, the overwrought drama, and the presence of Matthew Lillard, it might not be such a bad way to spend an hour and a half.
8. Valentine’s Day (2008)
Valentine’s Day is one of those ensemble romantic comedies that has so many big name actors in it that it is hard to really comprehend how they all managed to squeeze themselves into the two-hour run time. The cast ranges from rom-com mainstays like Jessica Alba and Ashton Kutcher, to Oscar winners like Julia Roberts, Jamie Foxx, and Anne Hathaway, to music stars like Taylor Swift. In the mix of it all is Jessica Biel portraying a publicist to a famed but closeted gay pro football player, who hates Valentine’s Day with a burning passion, but, of course, finds romance by the end of the holiday. Valentine’s Day is just one on a long list of director Garry Marshall‘s many, many romantic comedy creations, which also includes Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride, both of the Princess Diaries movies, and New Year’s Eve, which also stars Jessica Biel and appears elsewhere in this article.
7. The A-Team (2010)
Jessica Biel certainly is not the focal point of 2010’s action comedy, The A-Team, but she definitely steals the show in her supporting role as Charissa Sosa, Face’s ex-girlfriend and one of the many people hunting down the main characters over the course of the movie. True to form, Biel plays a bonafide badass, even if she doesn’t get a chance to show off too many of her kick ass combat skills.
The A-Team makes no attempt to be a realistic movie— they fly a freaking tank at one point for god’s sake— but perhaps the least realistic aspect of the whole thing is the fact that whenever Face, played by Bradley Cooper, and Sosa come together, she is clearly charmed and somewhat overwhelmed by his charm, while he seems more or less unaffected by hers. That is pure fantasy, folks. No one is unaffected by the hotness of Jessica Biel.
6. I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007)
Gratuitous underwear scene: that is biggest reason why this movie is on this list and also the only reason to actually endure this extended gay joke disguised as a comedy starring the dynamic dud duo of Adam Sandler and Kevin James. The premise of I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry centers around two firefighters (Sandler and James) who decide to get hitched in order to gain some of the legal and financial benefits of marriage… or something like that. Unsurprisingly, Sandler plays a serial womanizer who has to pretend to be gay around a number of beautiful women, most notably Jessica Biel, who strips down to her skivvies in front of him at one point because she is unaware of his heterosexuality. It’s hard to find fault with that scene though. If that is what it takes to see Jessica Biel in her underwear, there are probably a lot of other guys out there who would pretend to be gay too.
5. A Kind Of Murder (2016)
One of the most recent movies on this list is A Kind of Murder in which Jessica Biel plays the beautiful wife of a crime-obsessed architect played by Patrick Wilson. This is one of the few period pieces you will find while digging through Biel’s IMDb page, as it takes place in New York in the 1960s— you know, kind of like Mad Men, which is a show partly known for its wealth of good looking actors. Maybe it has something to do with the sixties style. There are a few eras that lend themselves nicely to attractive actors: the jazz era of the 1920s, for example, always seems to make people look especially good. Likewise, the hippy movement of the seventies, more often than not, has a way of unleashing everyone’s free-loving, sexy side. And if A Kind of Murder and Mad Men are any indication, the sixties are part of that club and are on fine display whenever Jessica Biel hits the screen.
4. Stealth (2005)
This is almost definitely one of those credits Jessica Biel wishes she could erase from her resume. If you took Top Gun‘s dumber cousin and inbred it with the worst parts of 2001: A Space Odyssey, the resulting, deformed offspring would be Stealth. Not only was the movie crushed by critics, it is considered to be one of the biggest financial failures in Hollywood history, losing roughly $90 million. For those of you who aren’t so great at numbers, that is a LOT of money. Stealth was an especially rough turn for Jamie Foxx as this was the first movie to come out after he won the Best Actor Oscar for his work in Ray. On the plus side, Stealth does feature Jessica Biel at a waterfall in a tiny blue bikini, which is impossible to complain about. This article isn’t about the best Jessica Biel movies after all. Just the hottest ones.
3. New Year’s Eve (2011)
All right, full disclosure: this one might not resonate as “hot” with everyone. New Year’s Eve is one of Garry Marshall’s many large ensemble holiday-related romantic comedies that is absolutely overstuffed with celebrities, ranging from legends like Robert De Niro and Halle Berry, to pop culture bigwigs like Zac Efron, to Jon Bon Jovi for some reason that no one has ever been able to fully explain. In the middle of all that excitement is a segment entitled “Maternity Ward Story” which revolves around Jessica Biel’s character, Tess Byrne, a very pregnant woman who, together with her husband (Seth Meyers), competes with another couple, hoping to snag the bonus given to the family of the first baby born in the new year. Classy, right? So, as we mentioned, it might not seem like her hottest role. But somehow, even playing a superficially competitive woman who is nine months pregnant and ready to pop, Biel still manages to retain a significant level of hotness.
2. Powder Blue (2009)
RED ALERT. RED ALERT. WE HAVE JESSICA BIEL PLAYING A STRIPPER. I REPEAT: WE HAVE JESSICA BIEL PLAYING A STRIPPER!
Okay, that might be slightly over-dramatic, but we’re not kidding. In Powder Blue Jessica Biel really does play a stripper, and she really does strip. And as far as we can tell it is the only documented instance of nudity in Biel’s long and sexy career and does not disappoint. Back when she was best known for her turn as the second oldest child of a pastor on the TV show 7th Heaven it would have been difficult to imagine her doing a topless stripper scene, but here we are and we are not complaining. Her erotic dancing scene is a little odd, especially when she pours hot wax down her own back, but it is still hot as hell. And judging by Eddie Redmayne‘s open-mouthed reaction during her performance, it is easy to assume we are not the only ones who think so.
1. The Book Of Love (2016)
Okay, so The Book of Love, which stars Biel alongside Jason Sudeikis and Maisie Williams (aka badass Arya Stark from Game of Thrones), hasn’t had its widespread, theatrical release yet; it has mostly be seen at film festivals, so it is hard to say exactly where on the scale of hotness this movie falls. The trailer definitely makes it out to be an emotional feel-gooder, with Biel playing Sudeikis’ wild at heart wife who dies in a car crash. (Spoiler alert? It’s in the trailer and its description on IMDb, so we don’t feel too bad for giving that away.) Nonetheless, it is fairly safe to say that the hotness will be strong with this one just because of the fact that Jessica Biel is present. There really doesn’t need to be much more than that. Even when she isn’t waltzing around in a bikini, stripping for Eddie Redmayne, or letting Adam Sandler touch her boobs, she is a smouldering presence on the silver screen.
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