Some of you may not have bothered to think about this much while reading about or watching your favorite characters in the Game of Thrones universe, but I’ve always wondered just how many years in prison (in our world) some of the characters would spend for all of their crimes. And it’s not like there are many characters on the show who haven’t ravaged or murdered somebody in the realm.
I can only imagine how many years some people like Cersei or Gregor Clegane would serve. I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that they wouldn’t manage to get out on parole. I figure there might be several life sentences for both of them. Now that I think of it, I’m not sure that many of the characters on this list would manage to get out of the court system without at least one life sentence.
But hey, that’s what the article is for: to find out just how many years in the clink all of these characters might spend. The list of crimes from each of the characters below is varied but incredibly serious. Try and picture their crimes in our present day, in this universe. There’s some pretty terrifying stuff.
15. Arya Stark – Approx. 500 Years
Arya Stark might be a child in legal terms, but I think she would be tried as an adult for her crimes. She’s pretty justified in most of the people she does kill but the legal system doesn’t work that way in this part of this world. If we include The Tickler And Lorch as charges of conspiracy to murder (since H’ghar killed them for her) then Arya has over ten people on her list. Not near as large as someone like Daenerys, but Arya directly murdered these people mostly face-to-face. The stable boy, Frey and Lannister soldiers, Polliver, Rorge, Trant, the Waif, Walder River, Lothar Frey, Walder Frey…a lot of Freys and then Littlefinger…it’s a pretty decent list. Let’s say that there are 20 altogether including soldiers. That’s 500 years right there.
14. Petyr ‘Littlefinger’ Baelish – Approx. 50 Years/Death
So, Littlefinger did have a trial (of sorts) ruled on by Sansa Stark. He was accused of killing Lysa Arryn, conspiring to kill Jon Arryn, committing treason by threatening Ned Stark with a knife and attempting to assassinate Bran Stark. Just from these charges apparently, he didn’t get prison. He just got death at the hands of Arya Stark. But if we put these together, along with his incredible amount of theft I’d say that he would be working up over 50 years of prison time. The treason charge puts him to death right away though, so it’s hard to really care about his prison term. That being said, pretty well everyone on the list (excepting Joffrey for being so young) would be put to death anyway. But hey, only about 50 years is actually pretty low considering the thousands of years some people have.
13. Melisandre – Approx. 5000 Years/Death
Who knows how long Melisandre has been murdering people in order to find Azor Ahai!? Especially now that we know she is at least 100 years old. I’ll guess that the number of killings has gone up come since the start of the Game of Thrones series, but I’m sure there were some before. Either way, Melisandres has killed at least two people of royal blood (one of them a child), and she has burned alive a rather large number of other people as well. I don’t have an exact number, but she is definitely looking at life (and probably execution) for infanticide. Then you can add on 25 years for every person burned alive. Let’s say 200? So she’s looking at about 5000 years of prison aside from the death sentence.
12. Gregor ‘The Mountain’ Clegane – Approx. 6020 Years/Death
Here is a horrible man who I know would get a death sentence, for sure! Mainly for killing children. But then there’s also tons of rape and murder and theft. I don’t even know if I could begin to try and sort out how many people he has gone out of his way to put in pain. Sure, some of it was warranted by the rules of war. But the killing of children and the ravaging and thievery cannot be excused at all. I would say that, if I guessed 100 women ravaged, 200 men murdered, and thousands of dollars stolen…then we’re looking at a prison term of about 6020 years. But I’m going to venture to guess that he would be given the death penalty. I can’t imagine the Mountain would find himself in a state that had the death penalty that wouldn’t give it to him for his horrible crimes. Especially given his lack of remorse.
11. Cersei Lannister – Approx. 7465 Years/Death
First and foremost, Cersei’s relations with Jaime (as well as her cousin) already give her at least five years and as much as a life sentence, not to mention thousands of dollars in fines. She faces at least 5-10 years for being accessory to the attempted murder of Bran Stark. She faces several first-degree murder charges as well arson charges for blowing up the sept with hundreds in it and around it dying. Having her husband murdered could warrant her a life sentence as well and given all of her other crimes, it’s pretty likely that she wouldn’t be given much leniency. And it’s not like she’d be able to pay out to make it away from either life sentence or execution (depending on the state) since she already owes the Iron Bank so much.
10. Khal Drogo – At Least 2565 Years/Death
This is a pretty difficult one to gauge. We know that Khal Drogo is a warlord who loves to rape and pillage so we already know that he would be charged with crimes against humanity. But we have no idea of how many people he has killed or ravaged in the past. For taking Dany without her consent he would likely serve five years (though he’d be sentenced to about 10). For the murder of Mago and of Viserys, Drogo would tack on no chance of parole and at least 30 years of prison time for each murder. So, that’s at least 65 years before we even try to sort out the amount of murder committed before we meet him in the story and the amount of misery caused during the sack of the city of the Lhazareen. Chances are he’d be put to death for crimes against humanity. Let’s guess that he’s killed at the very least 100 people.
9. Daenerys Targaryen – Approx. 25,000 Years/Death
Daenerys has got some pretty gruesome crimes against humanity that she’s responsible for. And in terms of other crimes, she starts by murdering her husband and the woman who poisoned him. That’s at least 50 years right there. Then how many slave masters did she crucify? How many cities did she sack? I would say that’s another few hundred deaths on her shoulders. Not to mention the number of people she incinerated with her dragons. Sure, the slavers and the Lannisters (at least their leaders) all had it coming but that doesn’t stop the reality of the fact that Daenerys has slaughtered…shall we say at least 2000 people? Ultimately, this would just end in being put to death for war crimes and crimes against humanity, but I think she’s looking at at least 25,000 years based on the estimated kill count.
8. Jon Snow – Approx. 530 Years/Death
I think a good chunk of the killing that Jon Snow has done has been in self-defense or at least within the rules of war. Of course, Snow did kill Half-hand and while that was done strategically and he does feel horrible about it…he still murdered him. He’s also now an accomplice of Daenerys. I’ll leave out the battle between the Night’s Watch and the Wildlings simply because that was defense. Also, if we were to assume that the Night’s Watch was some sort of government military force, then Snow’s executions of Slynt, Throne, Olly and others are all covered as legal executions. But being a part of Daenerys’ slaughter and his murder of Half-hand bring him to about 525 years. And to be completely honest, depending on who wins the game of thrones, he’ll end up being put to death for working with Dany – oh, and the charges for incest would count as well – and breaking his oath…530 years and death?
7. Jaime Lannister – Approx 100 Years/Death
Well, look. Jaime has already been responsible for killing his own king…so automatically he’s going to have a death sentence. That’s a pretty crappy way to start out, but hey, at least he won’t have thousands of years of prison time. At least he’s got that going for him. He will have the at least five years for incest, though that would probably go to 10 or life because of the three kids he and Cersei had. Then, there’s the attempted murder of Bran Stark. Given that Bran was a child, that’s probably closer to 20 years. Now, most of the other kills that Jaime has racked up have to be sorted out as either part of the rules of war…or just murder. If we’re counting everything as murder then he’s got a lot of time. But if we’re allowing war-time rules, he probably doesn’t have more than 100 years (as well as his death sentence for treason).
6. Ramsay ‘Snow’ Bolton – Approx. 3600 Years/Death
Ramsay has quite the number of years coming to him in prison. He kept Theon Greyjoy as a slave; tortured him and mutilated him. He’s raped several women. He’s flayed several people and fed them to his dogs. For the torture, Ramsay would get 20 years per count. For the rape, he’d get 10 years per count. For murder, he would be handed life sentences. I’ve not been able to find a count of all of Ramsay’s casualties, but I must say that I’m pretty sure that we can guess at some things. Let’s just say he’s only ravaged 10 women in his life, murdered 100 (and tortured each). That’s about 3600 years in prison. Of course, because of the torture counts, depending on what state he was living in (and I figure he’d be in one of those southern redneck states) he would definitely face the death penalty.
5. Joffrey Lann– Baratheon – Approx. 75 Years/Life
Oops! Did I almost call Joffrey a Lannister? I would never do that. He obviously is a Baratheon and not the illegitimate child of Cersei and Jaime. Now, that is no crime on his part. And, as King, I guess little could be considered a crime since he hardly does anything himself. The execution of Ned Stark, the beating of Sansa, ordering the deaths of Robert Baratheon’s bastard kids, killing Ros, and threatening Sansa with sexual assault puts Joffrey at about 75 years in prison. That being said, he would likely have a couple of life sentences in there. And one must note that he is certainly underage. But I have a feeling that if he was being tried in the United States, he would be tried as an adult. I don’t think his age could protect him from his crimes
4. Viserys Targaryen – Approx. 15 Years
So, here’s the interesting thing. If I’m not mistaken, Viserys has never killed a single person in his life. He’s just acted like a spoiled little brat…which does end up getting him killed pretty quickly. But what of his crimes? What has he committed? Well, he’s certainly committed sexual assault (in an incestuous way) and he’s certainly committed both basic and aggravated assault. Given that, if you count up all of his crimes together and take in the likely leniency with parole for someone so sniveling and relatively unharmful, Viserys would likely only get a total of 20 years in prison. If that. I would probably put him closer to 15 because he doesn’t have any murder charges, no blood on his hands…one could say he’s the…golden boy of this piece (pun very much intended).
3. Tyrion Lannister – Approx. 60 Years/Life
Here’s the thing about Tyrion. You can’t get him for every person he’s killed on the battlefield. King’s Landing was being invaded, and under the rules of war, he was only defending his own keep. He didn’t go out and ravage or torture anyone like The Mountain. However, Tyrion did murder both Shae and his father Tywin. The very first person he ever kills is one of the mountain tribesmen, but that was completely in defense. He orders two masters killed in order to show Dany’s power. And he kills a man to save Missandei at one point. So, of all the ones that count, I think that would put him at about 60 years of prison time. This is actually pretty good. Compared to most of the other characters in this article, Tyrion could actually stand to live beyond his prison sentence…unless he got life for murder.
2. Roose Bolton – Approx. 1025 Years/Death
Thing interesting thing about Roose Bolton (aside from the whole flaying people thing) is that he actually doesn’t really commit many crimes personally. His two big crimes happen at the same time basically. He conspired to murder many people at the Red Wedding. And he stabs Robb Stark in the heart himself. For conspiring to murder all of those people he would likely get half the sentence of the actual murderers per person murdered. So let’s say there were 100 people killed there. That’s 1000 years right there. Plus his 25-to-life sentence for the murder of Robb. So, even though he only killed one person that we bother to notice, he still ends up wasting away in prison for life…except he killed a king so I guess he would just be sentenced to death for regicide.
1. Robert Baratheon – Approx. 50 Years/Death
There’s something about killing kids that is just a big deal in Game of Thrones. It’s kind of disgusting. Robert Baratheon is definitely guilty of this crime. He’s also guilty of treason for rising up against his king. He’s also guilty of domestic abuse. As much as we all want to see Cersei Lannister getting abused over and again because of what a horrible human being she is, Robert would still get brought in for it. So, if you put together his domestic abuse, treason and child killing you’ll find that he would likely serve something like 50 years, but would obviously be put to death for his treasonous acts. Of course, that’s only if he were here in the states.
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