Jessica Alba is someone who tends to end up in peril from time to time. When I say time to time, I actually mean every other movie, not to mention TV shows she’s done over the years. Cast your mind back to her catalogue of work, right back to her Flipper days, and you’ll begin to realize that it’s a pretty regular occurrence.
Tune in to see Jessica onscreen, and it’s a fair bet she’s going to end up in peril at some stage. It’s as if it’s a prerequisite for her to be able to sign a TV or movie contract. Some Hollywood babes do that whole damsel in distress thing really well, and take to it as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, and Jessica Alba’s one of them. Who knows, perhaps she likes it, perhaps she writes in those scenes herself. Maybe she's kind of kinky and has a fetish for being kidnapped and ending up in those sorts of situations. It’s a strong possibility, and there’s been a lot of speculation that this is actually the case, speculation that’s basically arisen because of a bizarre incident that Jessica was involved in during her time Down Under, while filming the Flipper TV series, but I’ll touch upon that in a bit.
Jessica ends up in peril, usually tied up and gagged more than any other A-list celeb. Whether it’s in a movie, TV show, getting tied up for a cause, or in her spare time – we think! - she can’t escape those situations, literally, hence she’s Hollywood’s resident damsel in distress. Here’s 15 times Jessica Alba’s wound up in peril.
15 Beautiful Immigration Officer
The film, Machete, which was released in 2010, did pretty well at the box office due to it being an action flick and consisting of a cast of some stellar names. Hard man Danny Trejo starred as the main character, a rough tough rowdy guy who fought for a cause, and the man who got close to Jessica’s character, Sartana Rivera. Among all the chaos, Sartana Rivera was like the shining light – Jessica really did put in a sparkling performance. She made for one sizzling hot immigration officer, but was in a conundrum: should she enforce the law, or do what she felt was right? In the end, she ended up falling for Danny’s character and the decision was kind of made for her. Being close to a wanted man, Danny, made her a target, and she was kidnapped in order to draw him out. A scene like that in a movie like this just had to be written in, and once again, Jessica ended up in serious peril.
14 Tied Up For A Cause
This pic isn’t from a movie poster or anything like that. Oh no, it’s a picture from an ad campaign she did back in 2008, supporting the movement Declare Yourself, in order to get people to vote in that year’s presidential election.
Wow, Jessica Alba looks sexy in pretty much everything she does, but it’s safe to say she’s never looked as sexy as she does in this ad campaign. Wrapped up in shiny black bondage tape, bound, gagged, and incapable of talking, this time around Jessica ended up silenced to make a point. The staunch Democrat must have surely gotten people rushing to the polling stations. She said of the ad: “If you don’t register and vote and make a difference, and hopefully change the bad things that are happening in our country, you are essentially just binding and muzzling yourself.” This provocative ad certainly did the job and got the youth to pay attention and declare themselves.
13 Bound To Vote
Here’s another poster from that same campaign, a campaign in which Jessica used bondage to encourage people – mainly young people – to vote. It was a shock tactic used to get people to pay attention, and they certainly did just that. The campaign and these images of Jessica got picked up not only in the U.S. but around the world, because of the shock factor, and the fact that Jessica looked stunning of course. But you’d have to say this one was less of a sultry pic than the last one. This time around, Jessica donned a kind of Hannibal Lecter mask. She went make-up free for the ad, had tears rolling down her cheeks, and was muzzled, all in an effort to get across the same message. She went all the way with it too, even appearing in a somewhat comical – yet still serious because of the message she was trying to get across – ad, in which she was selling the “Muzzler 2008.” Hayden Panettiere modeled the Muzzler in that video, and by the end of it, people certainly got the message, although quite a few were probably a little turned on too.
12 Dark Times In Dark Angel
Jessica starred in the series Dark Angel between 2000 and 2002. Her Flipper days were over, but it appeared as if she missed being the sexy damsel in distress, because she ended up in peril in literally every other episode. Seriously, she was in that series for 42 episodes, and was in distress a hell of a lot. I said in the intro that either she or the directors basically write those scenarios into the script, and that’s probably what happened on the sets of this series. She was picked to play the lead over 1000 other actresses who auditioned, and I wonder why. This scene shows exactly why she was picked. It’s one of the hottest moments in Dark Angel, a scene that’s been viewed tons of times since the series was cut. Jessica’s been captured – shock horror! – and is being held prisoner in a jail cell, and for some reason – they just had to do it! – has her hands bound in front of her. She’s able to free herself and then begins seductively scratching her back in front of the officers who can't help but watch.
11 Tasered And Cuffed
Poor Jessica – she really got the rough treatment this time around. In Dark Angel, her character was Max, a genetically enhanced super-soldier, so basically a mutant, although she’s probably the hottest mutant on TV. Her backstory was that she’d escaped from a military facility as a child, so during the course of the series, plenty of important figures were after her. Here’s another one of those instances where she ended up in peril, captured by someone who wanted to put her back where she belonged. In this scene, she basically ended up getting tasered. They tasered the hell out of her, and when she woke up she found herself in a bedroom, cuffed to the frame of the bed, with the guy who captured her standing over her. That’s one way to keep a sexy genetic mutant down and restrained: taser her six times then cuff her. It wasn’t really meant to be a sexy scene, but again Jessica made it so.
10 Another Dark Angel Moment
Last time around she was tasered, this time she was darted; we don’t like to see it, but it’s probably a better way to deal with a mutant super-soldier, and it did the trick. Jessica ended up getting knocked out cold, and woke up strapped to a bed, as she tends to do from time to time.
The premise this time was that she wanted to get to a safe. The whole building was lasered up, but of course, Jessica being the sexy super-soldier she is, was able to backflip and roll herself around the lasers and get to the safe. She even made that pretty seductive, doing those backflips clad in her customary black leather outfit that became such an iconic part of the show. But she wasn’t careful enough and ended up getting caught, cuffed and questioned in a cell, before behind darted and KO’d. When she came to, she was strapped to a gurney, and a couple of the bad guys were around to question her. But some straps weren’t going to be enough to keep Jessica down, and she soon broke free and got the hell out of yet another dicey situation.
9 Idle Everything In Idle Hands
Well, I said that Jessica must have missed being in those damsel in distress moments after she ceased filming Flipper, until Dark Angel began, but she actually got her fix by doing some films in the meantime.
In 1999, Jessica was just starting to get noticed. She wasn’t a huge star at that point, nothing like the star she is today, but she was still a hit, particularly with the younger audiences, all those teenage boys. Her 1999 movie Idle Hands was pretty much for that demographic. It was an almighty flop, and I’m sure Jessica would agree, a real stain on the movie industry, but having said that, it’d be remembered for one iconic scene and that scene only. Towards the end of the movie, Jessica ended up getting knocked out, and when she awoke, she found herself tied to the roof of a car in very little clothing, about to be crushed. The dim-witted guys she was with eventually managed to rescue her, but not before one of hottest moments in Jessica’s filmography.
8 Wild Chick Tamed In Sin City
The 2005 movie Sin City was one unique and pretty weird film. Its unique color processing, the fact that it was shot for the large part in black and white, was different and drew lots of attention, and initially, quite a lot of people liked the plot too.
Jessica played Nancy Callahan, a seriously sexy exotic dancer, who, you guessed it, ended up getting kidnapped. In this movie, Jessica was kidnapped by That Yellow Bastard – yes, that really is the character’s name – and was basically tortured towards the end of the movie, in an effort to draw out Bruce Willis’ character, and it worked. But before being rescued, Jessica was in some serious strife. Her hands bound above her head, That Yellow Bastard seriously tortured her, whipping her again and again until tears were streaming down her face, when Bruce turned up to save the day and rescue her from that predicament.
7 Head KO And Captured
Jessica might have been a super-soldier, but that doesn’t mean she could fight off an entire army of men by herself. Yes, we’re back to Dark Angel, season two, and this time around Jessica had a load more bad guys in her life. No sooner had season two started, Jessica found herself in peril, at the hands of one of these bad guys who’d gotten the upper hand. In the midst of a fight, a swivel kick to the head resulted in Jessica getting knocked right out. When she awoke, she found herself caged, with some freaky looking creature – a fellow mutant – in the cage next door to hers. Why was she captured? They basically wanted to find out what her genetic material actually did, aside from being able to look super hot and kick ass. This time around she wasn’t able to free herself, and had to rely on some outside help who got to her before they could run their genetic tests.
6 Kidnapped Along With The Family
And now we get into some of Jessica’s earliest moment’s in peril, Down Under on the sets of Flipper. Just like Dark Angel a few years later, the whole kidnapping thing seemed to be a recurring theme on that series.
The series, if you didn’t know, is centred around a team of dolphin researchers who work at a research institute. Sounds like it would be nearly impossible to end up in such predicaments doing that kind of job, but nope, the producers found a way to work such angles in there.
Jessica’s character, Maya, had a special connection with dolphins, and was taken on at the institute as an intern. I bet she couldn’t have envisioned how being an intern would heap a whole load of danger onto her shoulders.
This time around, Jessica was kidnapped and held hostage by a crazed ex-lover of her mom, who incidentally was played by the beautiful Aussie actress, Lisa Lackey. He tied them up back to back, gags them, then sets about trying to light the place on fire, while Jessica and Lisa are struggling profusely in an effort to get free. It was a very intense scene, and they were eventually rescued, just before they were about to be set alight.
5 In A Sticky Situation
Here’s another Flipper moment. This time around, Jessica was kidnapped with her friend, her fellow companion in peril on that series. This was a moment from season one, and the directors didn’t waste their time getting in these moments. Some bad guy didn’t want those at the research institute to find out what he was up to, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. In an effort to stop the researchers calling the coastguard, he took Maya and another kid who was at the institute hostage. They were taken and held down at the bottom of the ship, and when the bad guy left to conclude his business, they started to try and break free from their restraints. The boy managed to get the tape off his mouth, and then began to work away on the rope’s binding Maya’s wrists. She eventually got free, freed them both, and they made their way up on deck where they were rescued.
4 Another Moment In Peril On Flipper
Here's one scene that's definitely kind of cringeworthy. It’s another Flipper moment, another season 1 moment where Jessica’s character Maya ended up in peril at the hands of the bad guy.
The reason I say it was such a bad scene is because it was your stereotypical bad guy holding people hostage moment. The bad guy, speaking in a thick foreign accent, captured Jessica, and of course her friend, videotaped them pleading to be saved, and used it to blackmail someone from the institute. His demands? Flipper – the dolphin the entire series is based around – and the communicator, in exchange for the kids. The guy found a way around it, and managed to save the kids without giving in to their demands.
Funnily enough, this episode was called “Flipper Speaks." Well, Jessica certainly wasn’t doing any speaking during that perilous moment.
3 Right To Be Paranoid
This 2000 thriller film wasn’t really a thriller in many people’s eyes. It was a bit of a flop, so much so that it wasn’t even released in the cinemas in a lot of countries, and just went straight to video. Its limited success wasn’t because of Jessica though; she was the shining light – as she always is – in that movie, and emerged with at least some credibility.
The film Paranoid basically centres around Jessica’s character. She was a model, juggling two boyfriends, and had to deal with an obsessed, deranged stalker too. Some would say she got her comeuppance, because she ultimately ended up spending a lot of that movie in distress, handcuffed to the bed at the hands of yet another weirdo who she met at a band reunion. Then she finds out she’s got yet another stalker. Seem like everyone was obsessed and wanted to stalk Jessica in that movie.
2 Silence Is Golden In Into The Blue
This 2005 film starring Jessica and the late Paul Walker in lead roles was another part of Jessica’s filmography that was set on the coast in a sunny climate and beautiful location. It was shot in the Bahamas, and centres around the two lovers who were living a humble existence on the coast, trying to find treasure at the bottom of the ocean which would make everything change.
The first thing people loved about that movie is the fact that Jessica spent the vast majority of her time in very little clothing, in a two-piece bikini. That alone was enough to get people watching. But then towards the end there was an iconic kidnapping scene, possibly the most intense scene in Jessica’s career. She ends up being held hostage by bad guy Josh Brolin’s character, and for quite some time too. He then drugs her, but she eventually manages to escape – I have to say, much to everyone’s dismay.
1 Real Life Peril
No one knows for sure, but this is the moment that’s thought to have kickstarted Jessica’s kidnap fetish; it’s almost a certainty that she has one, because it’s way too much of a coincidence the number of times she’s ended up in peril, which incidentally, is far more times than just those on this list.
I say kickstarted, but this incident may actually have happened as a result of her fantasies. While in Australia during the production of Flipper, Jessica started getting a number of telephone threats. She ended up getting kidnapped – in real life – and was missing for about 14 hours. No one knew of her whereabouts, but she was eventually found, tied up and gagged in the trunk of a car. There was actually no evidence to suggest this was an actual kidnaping, there were no arrests, and Jessica didn’t give the authorities any information about her abductors or the kidnapping either.
The case had to be dropped, and the entire incident was put down to Jessica acting out a kidnapping fantasy – unofficially of course! But after that she didn’t really need to pull such stunts – if indeed it was a stunt. All she needed to do was have a quiet word in her latest director’s ear, and such scenes would be written in, as they always seem to be, throughout her career in the two decades following that incident.
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