Alright, look. Cards on the table here. I don't watch reality TV. I hate it. So, every time I get one of these articles about "reality" stars, I cringe a little inside. But anyone who watches either Duck Dynasty or 19 And Counting must also cringe every time they sit down to an episode. I mean, they're both awful shows first of all. And secondly, they're just cast with awful people.
I think the people in these shows do everything they can do to make the world come together in a collective cringe. That's how bad they are. That's how messed up most of the actors in these shows are. Yes, I said actors. I hope you know that "reality" is actually bullsh*t. And just for good measure, Santa Claus isn't real either, so stop writing him letters and leaving him perfectly good milk and cookies.
Now, some of the photos below may shock you. But if you're one of those people who surfs the "deep web" then I'm sure you've seen way worse about everyone in this article. Either way though, both of these messed up families have shared in some pretty cringe-worthy moments. Now it's up to you to decide which family wins the prize for making us cringe the most.
15 Christmas Is Ruined!
Ok, first off... what in the hell is going on with those camo outfits? The one guy definitely is wearing at least one size too small for him. No one needs to see your camo pecks (I guess at least we can be happy they're in camo). Secondly, what are you doing wandering through the swamp without hip-waders? You live in Louisiana. Gators live there with other deadly things like snakes! And thirdly, this is the worst Christmas photo I've ever seen in my life. "Duck The Halls"? Give me a friggin break. Even the duck is wearing a Santa hat. Really? the bird you're famous for shooting is joining in the holiday fun? And speaking of holiday fun, if you're going to take a Christmas photo... maybe smile. They all look like they just discovered they won't get a white Christmas for the first time.
Can You Blame Her For Crying?!
Alright, so for those of you who don't know, Josh Duggar admitted to touching his little sisters in the naughty places when they were all very young, and over the course of many years. That being said, it's amazing that his wife can even manage to fake a smile when she's around him. That's just crazy. And beyond that, It's really no wonder why his little girl looks like she's howling. I would do if I was being held by a predator like Josh Duggar. This makes me shudder and cringe like no other picture here does. This might be one of the most cringe-worthy photos in the article, if for no other reason than that Duggar's wife still sticks by his side after he's cheated and diddled his sisters. And she even lets him hold their daughter!
14 Please Just Put Down The Shake Weight...
Ok, if there was one thing I never needed to see in my life, it was Duck Dynasty. If there was another thing I never needed to see, it was Duck Dynasty's Willie Robertson furiously playing with a shake weight. I'm sorry, but the look on his face couple with the hog head mounted on the wall in the background really makes me think of the movie Deliverance for some reason. And that really makes me cringe. All I can think is "squeal like a pig!" and somehow, I imagine that Willie is probably getting ready to do just that while playing with his shake weight. I'll be totally honest, I didn't think rednecks like that were even aware of things like the shake weight! I mean, I know they're on "reality" TV, but I figured they were still trying to figure out how the moving pictures of them appeared on the glass box in their living room.
13 Is That A Gun At That Child's Feet!?
Holy sh*t, Duggars! What the hell are you thinking? It's one thing to leave a fishing rod lying there on the beach. All the kid will step on is a rusty hook and get tetanus. It's a whole other thing to leave a gun lying there on the beach when one of your young daughters has nothing better to do than to play with the toys mommy and daddy left laying around! Every time I see this photo I can't help but cringe at the idea that this kid could have accidentally shot herself or killed someone in her family. Or worse, she could have shot someone who was completely innocent! I don't think many of you would weep if she accidentally shot Josh Duggar, but it would still technically be a "bad" thing to have happen. Something about 5-year-olds not allowed to use guns...
12 Here's Hoping He's Never Elected President
This makes me shudder and cringe like no man's business! And if it doesn't make you cringe as well, then I have nothing else to say to you other than I'm very sad you voted for Donald Trump. These bible-thumping loonies would love to bring prayer back to school but at the same time, they would also love to bring back witch-burning, segregation, and the stoning of gay people. It's hard to really think that this guy got the core of the message of Jesus. I know he thinks he's good pals with the savior and all, but all that sh*t in the Old Testament (well, not all) was shoved aside when Jesus came and said love everyone, now leave your family and friends behind, follow me and do exactly as I say... Now that I think of it, I'm not shocked that this guy thinks the best way to make education better is through prayer.
11 It's Scary That The Duggars Are So Good With Guns
So... the Duggar girls are really good with guns apparently. It must have something to do with them starting off at the very VERY young age of about four! Now, Jessa Duggar is apparently a scarily good shot with a pistol. Her hubby, in the other frame, prefers using an assault rifle and can hardly hose the target at all. Jessa, on the other hand, buried at least two clips in the face of and center of her target. If I wasn't already terrified enough of this creepy Christian family, this really makes me want to stay away from them. It also sort of makes me want to get to know Jessa a little better. I'm sure there are plenty of you looking at this who think it's pretty hot that she can shoot like that. You Americans and your guns...
10 He's Just Not Meant For Yoga...
Ok, it's official. Willie Robertson is just not a redneck. He's a hipster. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that (well, some people might disagree) but he should just come out and say it. Either way, this photo is just abnormally cringy. Besides the fact that he's got the position wrong and clearly doesn't listen to instruction, the incredible amount of sweat pouring off his body is a little sickening, I have to be honest. I would love to see him try and tackle some of the harder poses in yoga... except... I really would not ever like to see him do yoga again. I'm sure his body could use it. You really have to stretch out the racism and bigotry when you're trying to be a hipster redneck. The only saving grace of this photo is at least there are some Lulu Lemon yoga pants on display.
9 Aren't There Child Labour Laws?
Alright, I know that kids eventually have to do chores, and hopefully make an allowance. Besides the fact that the Duggar kids only get an allowance of pennies for their work (which their parents keep for them for safe-keeping), I think there has got to be an age restriction for some kids. The kid here cleaning the toilet is one thing. She looks about nine-years-old. But the two kids using the Swiffers that are three times their height might be a little too young to work. It makes me cringe to think that they're technically not working as slaves because they're getting paid in pennies... but they're starting their work at something like 2 years old. It would be different if mom and dad were helping, but instead, they seem to be taking photos of them exploiting their own children.
8 Why Is A Racist Posing With An African-American Baby?
Remember how one of the guys from Duck Dynasty once said that black people were really happy in Louisiana before the Civil War? If you don't remember that then please feel free to cringe at it now. That's the kind of thought process you have when you force yourself to pretend it's still 1850 in America. So, now I have to ask you a question. What is beardo doing posing for a selfie with a wrapped up African-American baby? Is anyone seeing how that could be a little bit...strange for the Duck Dynasty people? Is he trying to prove that at least he's ok with black people? Is he basically saying "Hey look, I know a black baby so I'm allowed to make racist comments"? To be fair, this isn't the guy who made the Civil War statement. But they are still related.
7 Josh Duggar Looked Creepy Even Then!
Can anyone figure out which one of these kids is Josh Duggar? Surprisingly, it's not the one with the hungry and evil look in his eyes on the left. It's the one holding the baby in the middle. And considering what everyone now knows about Josh Duggar, it's not really surprising that he's the one holding one of his younger sisters. For those of you who don't know this about Josh Duggar, it was discovered that he touched three of his younger sisters in a very wrong way (and one of their friends as well). What's really cringy about this is knowing what he grows up to be (if he hadn't already started his dirty business by the time of this photo) and the fact that he hasn't spent a single minute in prison for what he's done.
6 Duck Dynasty Has A Musical...?
Oh, for f*ck's sake. I can't even understand how this is a thing. This tells me for sure that Willie Robertson is a hipster. He does yoga, has "swag", and now has a f*cking musical out. This is just ridiculous. I went out of my way to not learn a single thing about this musical but first off... who cares about Duck Dynasty? I mean really though? Secondly, I don't want to know anything more about this horrible group of con artists. They've built a "reality" TV empire by making duck calls. And now they have a musical? People will really watch anything, won't they? I can't even imagine paying money to see this show, let alone sitting and watching a bootleg copy of it. Just knowing that it exists makes me cringe so badly!
5 Is This How The Duggars Prevent Naughtiness?
Alright, there is something strange about any of the Duggars pulling out handcuffs. I can't imagine Mommy and Daddy Duggar would like to know about their kids doing anything naughty with them. So, the above photo must be all about how the handcuffs represent the restraining bond that is their marriage, right? Now, don't get me wrong, this particular Duggar (Jessa, I believe) is thought of by many to be the most attractive Duggar. But I don't think it makes this photo any less cringe-worthy. If anything, she's likely to use those cuffs to make sure that her new hubby can't get his rocks off. At least not until she decides that it's time to have 19 of her own crazy, bible-thumping kids. Now that is really a cringe-worthy thought!
4 Please Never Let These Men Become Cops!
This is something I never want to see again. First of all, if I ever find a cop wearing a uniform like that I will laugh and laugh and probably get the sh*t beat out of me (at least if it's in the United States). But I have to be honest here. If ever I saw a guy who looked like he was from Duck Dynasty in a flak jacket with police badge... I would definitely run. I know this might make him want to chase me, but at least I know I wouldn't answer any of his damned duck calls. I think we have enough problems with cops in America today. I don't think we need to add to the racism and bigotry that already takes place in a lot of places with cops. Imagine this redneck as a police officer. Now, stop imagining it, and never think about it again!
3 The Duggars Ruined Archie Comics
Did anyone here ever read Archie Comics? You might still read them for all I know. I used to read them every day. You might be familiar with the classic cover art where Archie is sharing a milkshake with both Betty and Veronica. Well, it turns out that Mommy and Daddy Duggar have ruined Archie for me now with this photo. I just want to say, for the record, that Archie was friends with everyone. It didn't matter if they were black or white or if they were gay or straight. Archie was always welcoming of people. Mommy and Daddy Duggar have notoriously spoken out against black people and gay people. You know, because their bible tells them that that's ok. Archie would never use the bible to justify his actions. He was a good guy.
2 Redneck Swag? Seriously?
Redneck Swag? What the f*ck, Willie!? What does that even mean? I mean, I know what swag is. But come on. Just because you're a hipster redneck doesn't mean that your swag is redneck swag. Swag, I think, by definition just can't be redneck. And beyond that, look at what you're wearing! Just because you have a gross beard that looks like some wiry lion's mane doesn't mean that you're a redneck. At least not in the photo on the shirt. A white suit coat and a stars-and-stripes bandana don't make you look all that redneck. And besides all of that... just... ugh. You really have to decide what you are. Are you just a hipster pretending to be a redneck on your show? Or are you a redneck who wishes he could be a hipster? Either way, you make me cringe.
1 Imagine Taking Care Of That Many Kids!
Just looking at a family photo of the Duggars makes me want to cringe like never before. I grew up with only two other siblings and we all had our share of time when we thought three kids were just too many. I'm sure our parents thought the same thing. Now, how the hell do you fit 19 kids at home? No wonder this family started a ridiculous "reality" TV show. It was probably the only way they could keep the lights and heat on in their home. It also helps that they pay their kids pennies to do all the work around the house and they're not allowed internet or phone time unless someone is there to supervise. So, they must be saving money cutting corners that way. At least Josh Duggar is holding his wife in this photo and not his younger sisters...