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Don’t EVER Watch These 15 Movies With Your Parents

Entertainment
Don’t EVER Watch These 15 Movies With Your Parents

Some movies just shouldn’t be watched with your parents, which is an almost ironic statement to say because watching movies is one of the few pastime practices that can be enjoyed by the entire family. In fact, most of us know that sitting in front of a screen, kicking back, and watching a movie or two with the folks at home is one of the easiest and most enjoyable ways to spend time with the family. However, as with any rule, there are some exceptions.

While watching movies is a good way to spend time with the family, not every movie needs to be viewed in the company of everybody in the family at once, especially not alongside parents. With as much gratuitous violence, suggestive themes, and all-out in-your-face raw sex that occurs in movies nowadays, it all can be a little overwhelming — not to mention, awkward — to watch films with your parents. For examples and pointers on which movies should never be viewed in the company of parents, read below.

15. Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids was heralded in 2011 as, essentially, The Hangover for the female audience. By that comparison, we mean that the film utilized its unique female perspective and cast in order to tell a comedic tale focused around crude sexual humor spewed by its strong female leads. It made for an entertaining and rather unique watch, but it probably wouldn’t be as entertaining if we had to sit through the film with our parents. After all, when we say that the film is rife with sex and sexual humor, we mean there’s a lot of it. The film opens with a sex scene, albeit a goofy one where Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm provide some of the wackiest facial expressions imaginable, but it makes for quite the sight for sore eyes when a parent is present.

14. The Notebook

If there was ever a Mount Rushmore for the most beloved chick flicks out there in Hollywood Land, The Notebook would definitely be up there. For all of the film’s sappiness, a lot of people forget that the film featured a quite steamy sex scene between Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. After the two decided to renew their love, the characters renewed their relationship by having an intense lovemaking session — so intense that the censors had to cut the scene down from its original length because the MPAA perceived it to be too graphic. Considering the graphic nature of the scene, it might be wise not to watch this one with the old folks on movie night.

13. Spring Breakers

The two biggest pop stars in Spring Breakers (aside from James Franco, of course) were Disney alumni Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens. Without either of the actresses having to explain themselves, we all know why they partook in the film. It’s a tale as old as, well, Disney itself. Child stars like to reinvent their careers as soon as they wrap up work on a kids’ show by working on a film that most critics would call “edgy.” Spring Breakers definitely fits that build, and it’s not recommended viewing for the entire family — not when the film contains as much sex, blood, booze, suggestive themes, and guns as the average horror show.

12. Fifty Shades of Grey

This should almost go without saying, but at the same time, women everywhere came out for the theatrical premiere of Fifty Shades of Grey as if it were some sort of special event that everyone with a vagina needed to attend. That’s all well and dandy until we realize that there had to be at least a handful of mother-daughter duos in the audience. We wouldn’t recommend daughters using this (or any of the films in the franchise) as an opportunity to spend some quality time with their mother while watching it — not when there are as many wild sex scenes of the submissive/dominant persuasion featured as there are in this movie. Pretty weird to be turned on next to an equally turned-on mom.

11. Black Swan

At its core, Black Swan is a haunting and superbly directed psychological thriller by Darren Aronofsky where Natalie Portman turns in a supremely captivating performance. This movie is about obsession, dual identities, ballet, etc. In short, there’s a lot going on in this movie, but all most viewers left the theater taking away from the experience were the two steamy sex scenes that Natalie Portman partook in. In one scene, she masturbates while her mother slept at her bedside. In another, she heats up the bedroom with Mila Kunis, which was a highlight for many viewers. Neither of these scenes would’ve been as enjoyable for audiences if they were watching with their parents — although it would’ve made the experience even more memorable than it already is.

10. Superbad

Superbad is this generation’s American Pie. Usually, American Pie is a movie that would end up on a list like this, but really, no one, with or without parents, is watching American Pie anymore in 2017. Most of the readers reading this list grew up watching Superbad, as that’s the gross-out comedy of this generation. Hopefully, none of them had to watch it with their parents. It almost goes without saying that this isn’t the type of movie anyone needs to watch with parents. Just ask Christopher Mintz-Plasse (aka McLovin), whose own mother was present on the set while he filmed his sex scene for the film. As a movie that also features a girl grinding her period blood on Jonah Hill, this would be just as awkward to watch with our own parents.

9. The Wolf of Wall Street

Everyone loves Leonardo DiCaprio, and everyone loves a good Leonardo DiCaprio movie. If there was anybody who had a movie among his filmography for everyone in the family, it’s good ole Leo. He’s got films like Inception and Titanic that can be entertaining for the whole family. Choose those alternatives over trying to use The Wolf of Wall Street as the film of choice for a family get-together. It’s certainly an entertaining movie, but it’s most definitely not family entertainment — not when the film includes moments like Leo snorting coke on a woman’s butt, Margot Robbie teasing him with a promise of what’s between her legs, and everything in between wrapped up in one big coke induced rags-to-riches story.

8. Deadpool

Deadpool is the uber-violent superhero movie that was released last year and that surprisingly earned its spot as the highest-grossing R-rated film of all time. The movie is filled with enough bloody and gory content to deter families from watching it together, but that’s not the only reason why we recommend viewers to avoid watching this film with their parents. There’s almost as much sexual content as there are blood and gore in this film. There’s certainly not as much sexual content, but when it’s there, the film leaves a lasting impact to shock its audience. This includes one of the few pegging scenes to ever hit a mainstream movie. For those who don’t know what pegging is, let’s just say it’s not something that should be viewed with parents present.

7. Sausage Party

Plenty of parents made the unruly mistake of bringing their children to go see Sausage Party under the false assumption that it would be a kids’ movie because it’s animated. Don’t make the same mistake they did by watching this with your family — or God forbid — your parents. Parents who brought their kids to see this were shocked to find its characters spewing foul language left and right. It’s also worth noting that the film features suggestive themes, as well as a surprising allegory about religion. Even more worth noting is the crazy sexual content in the film. Spoiler alert: the film ends with one big food orgy. Yes, a food orgy. Gonna be hard to explain that one to the old folks.

6. Magic Mike

No one would go to a strip club with parents, so don’t even think about trying to watch Magic Mike with your parents either. We would say the same with regard to the film’s sequel and pretty much any film that features oiled up men gyrating maniacally on a big stage. If you’re into that and want to share it with your parents, you’d be better off watching professional wrestling. At least with wrestling, it isn’t as much of a taboo to watch it with the family; it’s not unheard of or strange to watch wrestling with the parents, but it is to watch a movie like Magic Mike with the parents. Not only is it just an awkward experience because of the material itself; it’s also just plain weird when both parties find themselves aroused while beside each other.

5. Happiness

Happiness is not the one. It’s not only a movie that’s remained seldom seen by the masses but also a film that’s left a scar on many the minds of those who’ve seen it. Despite the title and the film being listed in the comedy genre, this isn’t a happy film; nor is it about happy characters. It’s an ensemble focused on three sisters and the colorful cast of strange personalities that surround them. Such personalities include a local pedophile who has an adolescent son who continually tries to ejaculate for the first time throughout the film. Again, this stuff is played for laughs but plays out more like horror, especially when viewed with parents.

4. Antichrist

Anyone who’s seen a film directed by Lars Von Trier knows that his films are never what we’d call an “easy watch.” There’s absolutely no denying the man’s infinite talent when it comes to creating striking visuals from behind a camera, and the Oscar nomination that he once received for his work is well deserved. However, every single one of his films is, for lack of a better word, heavy. Take Antichrist as a strong example, a film which might be his heaviest to date. The film opens with a couple’s young toddler falling out of a window to his death. What proceeds is lots of blood, some violence, some sex, and even some genital mutilation. Yeah, safe to say you shouldn’t watch this with your parents — or at all, at risk of scarring your eyes.

3. Blue is the Warmest Color

Blue is the Warmest Color is a romantic coming-of-age drama from France about a young teenager (Adèle Exarchopoulos) who finds her sexual awakening and discovers that she’s a lesbian after falling in love with a blue-haired minx of a painter (Léa Seydoux). The film received several different accolades for presenting itself as a remarkable example of filmmaking (including receiving the prestigious Palme d’Or at Cannes), but most of the attention regarding the film was with regard to the film’s raw sex scenes — so many scenes that it would be easy to mistake the film for a p—-, especially when the film takes a break from the plot to indulge in some extended lesbian lovemaking scenes. No one would watch p— with parents, so don’t watch this with them either.

2. Mulholland Drive

Mulholland Drive is, among many things, a trippy little film. Calling a David Lynch film “trippy” is the cinematic equivalent of stating that water is wet, but it’s a fact nonetheless, and the analogy has never been more appropriate than when talking about Mulholland Drive. This movie includes such incomprehensible imagery as a swing-time dance montage, a club called “Silencio” showcasing the perfect theatrical singing illusion, and Billy Ray Cyrus kicking the a** of Jennifer Anniston‘s real-life husband. Yeah, it’s a weird, trippy movie. There also happens to be two sex scenes and a masturbation clip that may make for an even weirder viewing with the parents.

1. A Serbian Film

If you’ve never heard of or seen A Serbian Film or have no idea what it’s about, consider yourself lucky because you still carry an innocent, pure mind. Watching this movie alone would ruin that mind in a heartbeat and, if watched with a parent, shatter that relationship with them even faster. You’ll feel awkward around them after having watched this film together, and they’ll probably stay mad at you for making them watch this snuff. To give a short synopsis, it’s about a retired adult-film actor who’s fallen on hard times and who makes one last film to raise money for his wife and child. What follows is a twisted odyssey that coins the phrase “newborn p*rn.” Watch at your own risk.

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