Guys love it. Girls love it. It’s an intimate give-and-take that has gone on for centuries. Since the dawn of time we’ve practiced the ritual. Cavemen surely figured it out. It’s a pretty obvious process. Yet it’s still way more common in the bedroom than it is in pop culture.
So the question is: Why do we treat oral with such secrecy? We must constantly invent slang euphemisms to keep the censors and safe-search engines in the dark. Sure it’s fun to create wacky alternative terms like dine out, hum a tune, polish the chrome, inhale the mushroom, lick the bean, to name a few, but sometimes such wording seems foolish and sounds grosser than the actual act itself.
What do we have to hide? When did it get such a negative connotation? Well, the religious powers are to blame. They considered it a sin since it doesn’t lead to procreation, and that the act’s sole purpose is pleasure. But that’s what people like about it! It avoids the risk of pregnancy, and lowers the risk of contracting diseases. We should be embracing the act and encouraging its practice.
Rap music has talked about it forever. Comedians have joked about it. The adult entertainment industry was built on it. President Bill Clinton was involved in a huge scandal over it and news media was forced to define it. But we still have a long way before it goes mainstream. We need more ambassadors, more promoters, and who better than some of Hollywood’s finest actresses. Here’s an oral report of some beautiful women who have taken part in you-know-what.
13. Rooney Mara
In The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Rooney Mara puts her work face on and reluctantly services a jerk in his office. The job is hardly passionate, and afterwards she washes her mouth out in the sink. Surely many girls can relate to that not so fresh feeling afterwards. Bathing is important. Rooney also appears in the critically acclaimed film Carol, with Oscar winner Cate Blanchett. In the film the two actresses play a secret couple in the 1950s. In one scene there is a serious make-out. In another, Mara goes buff and Cate explores her down under.
12. Julia Roberts
Beautiful Hollywood hotshot Julia Roberts played a prostitute in her breakout role in Pretty Woman, so it’s no surprise that her character would have to perform the dirty downstairs deed. The weird part is she’s headed down while Richard Gere is watching an old black and white episode of I Love Lucy. Lucille Ball’s body had just been buried months before the film was released, thankfully. After all that hard work and trailblazing success, her life’s work was a backdrop to a hummer. Maybe Gere’s character was just watching TV, trying to keep it up as long as possible, or maybe the director was trying to find a way to endear a character that pays for female companionship.
11. Hilary Swank
Way before it was cool to be gay on film, Hilary Swank broke some ground with Boys Don’t Cry in 1998. She serviced Chloe Sevigny in a very passionate kiss below the Mason-Dixon line. The love scene was about the only high point in an otherwise depressing bio-epic. Swank won an Oscar for the transgender role. She also won for Million Dollar Baby, as a boxer who gets paralyzed in the ring. She played another butt kicker in Karate Kid 4, one of her first major films. Her big break was a role in the latter seasons of the iconic 1990s television show, Beverly Hills 90210.
10. Demi Moore
Disclosure contains one of the silliest premises in movie history. Here we have a normal looking dude played by Michael Douglas, and his smoking hot boss played by Demi Moore. Well, the boss wants the bone, and Michael doesn’t want to give it to her. She tries to convince him with some oral fun and then he’s ready to go, but then he changes his mind and doesn’t finish. What kind of weird fantasy is this anyway? This would absolutely never happen in any office on earth. No wonder it’s so far-fetched, the film is based on a book by Michael Crichton, who penned Jurassic Park.
9. Heather Graham
Boogie Nights is a wonderful film about the other film industry, the one that is not shy about you-know-what at all. In fact they are not shy about anything. And Heather Graham’s Rollergirl character doesn’t mess around either. She just rolls right on over, assumes the position and gets to work. The only question is: Why isn’t she wearing kneepads? For the roller skating that is—it’s a dangerous sport. Heather has been around Hollywood for a while, since Licensed to Drive in 1988. She’s recently preferred comedies like Austin Powers III and the Hangover series. She still looks great and plays blatantly to her sex appeal.
8. Anna Faris
Scary Movie is perhaps the funniest parody film since old school flicks like Airplane and Naked Gun. Cheesy horror movies, namely Scream, had gotten really popular, and Scary Movie lampoons them to perfection. The film also takes shots at other modern classics like Usual Suspects and American Pie. The latter film jumped over some teen sex boundaries and Scary Movie upped it even more. In American Pie Tara Reid gets the downstairs treatment, but in Scary, Anna Faris turns the tables and treats her guy. What happens next is the perfect balance of hilarious and disgusting. Ouch!
7. Maria Bello
A History of Violence is a wicked, gruesome flick. The suspense is played off perfectly by the lead, Viggo Mortensen, who plays an ex-mobster trying to forget his violent past while raising a suburban family. When a couple of bad guys start to terrorize his diner though, Viggo cracks a dude’s head with a full coffee pot. Then later he beats another guy to such a pulp that it looks like his nerves are twitching out of his skull. But by far the greatest scene is when slinky blonde Maria Bello seduces her husband in a kinky cheerleader outfit. Then, in a scene so rarely seen in film, they actually mouth-pleasure each other simultaneously, aka sixty nine.
6. Anne Hathaway
Anne Hathaway, the leggy brunette Oscar winner, cut her dramatic teeth in the gritty movie Havoc. In one of the opening scenes she leads her high school boyfriend away from a party and into a convertible. Then she takes off her top, goes down, and then pops back up to ride ‘em cowgirl. It is a brief scene but it’s only the beginning to this very explicit film, which was a far cry from Princess Diaries. Hathaway has been in the news lately since she is pregnant with her first child. She released a photo of herself and her baby bump in hopes that the paparazzi would leave her alone.
5. Adèle Exarchopoulos
If you like really long sex scenes with hot French girls then Blue is the Warmest Color is the movie for you. Adele Exarchopoulos (left) is natural and gorgeous, with the supple lips and big soulful eyes. And she does it all, with girls and guys, a little self service too, and it’s all topped off with a sexy French accent. You could bother to read the subtitles, but they’re really not that important since most of the dialog is moans and gasps. One of the love scenes is a relentless seven minutes long! If there would have been more close-ups this would have been considered adult entertainment. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
4. Amanda Seyfried
In the beginning of Lovelace, before it gets too dark, Amanda Seyfried’s character reveals the talent that made her and the entire adult film industry quite a success. Adam Brody is the happy recipient and it doesn’t take long before he’s even happier. The film, or perhaps that scene in particular, may have been the kiss of death for Brody’s career. The actor started out great with The OC but hasn’t done much since. Personal life is great though, and he just had a baby girl with hottie Leighton Meester. As for Seyfried, the pretty blonde is staying busy, and will star in the upcoming Showtime revival of Twin Peaks.
3. Chloe Sevigny
Now, the truth is, many of the acts listed in this article are merely simulations. The oral deeds are implied, but usually the actress isn’t actually doing it on set. It’s Hollywood, right? Movie magic, smoke and mirrors. But in The Brown Bunny, it’s the real deal. No doubt about it. Exotic blonde Chloe has Vincent Gallo’s member resting right there in front of her tonsils. It’s quite shocking really. Here you thought you had rented a mainstream indie flick, and surprise, there’s real adult entertianment in it. Zoomed in. No joke. Chloe has built her career on taking risks, and this one definitely paid off, for Gallo in particular.
2. Sharon Stone
Basic Instinct caused a huge ruckus back in the 1990s. Everybody was astounded that this beautiful blonde bombshell had worn such a short white miniskirt and then neglected to wear an undergarment. Before the glory days of YouTube, thousands of VHS tapes snapped into pieces after being rewound and fast-forwarded to that revealing leg-crossing moment. That wasn’t the only entertaining part of the film, however. There was also a scene where Sharon Stone and lucky devil Michael Douglas went to bed and took turns servicing one another, with the mirror on the ceiling reflecting their lusty exploits. Stone posed in the buff for Harpers Bazaar in August 2015, and still looks amazing.
1. Mila Kunis
This sexy starlet is a powerful advocate for the undercarriage cleaning movement. Have you seen Black Swan? She gives Natalie Portman a job that makes the poor girl lose her mind. She also gets hers cleaned in the film Friends with Benefits with Justin Timberlake. This couple was even rumored to have practiced the deed off the set. Now here is a girl that really appeals to guy’s favorite things. Not only does she take on promiscuous roles, but she also voices Meg Griffin on Family Guy. She carried over that Seth MacFarlane connection into the Ted movie as well.
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