Although I’m not a parent myself, I have enough friends with children and greying hair to know that being one is incredibly difficult. The task of raising another human being and ensuring they stay out of trouble while simultaneously trying to make sure they don’t miss out on any aspect of the childhood experience is not an easy one, but some people are more skilled at it than others.
The majority of the parents I know fall into that apparently vanishing American middle-class, with most lying somewhere between the lower and mid subsections, yet each one of them is doing an incredible job raising their offspring. For that reason, you’d think that celebrities would make the perfect parents, what with their millions of dollars to spend on food, housing, toys, holidays, and anything else a young whippersnapper might desire. However, there are more than a few famous faces who have repeatedly proven themselves to be somewhat lacking in their guardianship, if not totally devoid of all parenting talent. Similarly, there are countless celebrity kids who, despite a lavish upbringing and loving pair of parents, have caused trouble and brought shame upon their family name. We’re going to be looking at entrants from both of those categories today.
Here are 8 celebrities who are terrible parents and 8 equally terrible kids.
16 Terrible Kid - Jaycee Chan
Although he has spent the majority of his movie career as little more than a glorified clown, Jackie Chan boasts an extensive background in martial arts and has mastered the self-control and discipline so strongly associated with the tradition. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of Chan’s 34-year-old son, Jaycee.
In August of 2014, Jaycee Chan was arrested in Beijing on charges of drug possession. These charges were later expanded to include drug distribution and accommodating drug users. Jaycee’s arrest was made all the more controversial by his father’s status as China’s anti-drug ambassador, a position he had held since 2009. Jaycee Chan was eventually sentenced to six months in prison, a sentence which his father publicly proclaimed he would not use his connections to lighten.
15 Terrible Parent - Octomom
In January of 2009, Fullerton, California resident Natalie Suleman achieved international fame when she gave birth to octuplets. Almost immediately, the mother of 8 became known as “Octomom” and became the subject of ridicule and criticism shortly after, when it was discovered she already had 6 children, whom she supported through various public assistance programs.
In an attempt to cash in on her new-found celebrity status, Octomom began appearing in a plethora of television shows, though it quickly became apparent that she lacked any talent or charisma. After an ill-fated music video, she starred in an adult film, which proved equally unsuccessful. In 2012, Suleman filed for personal bankruptcy and is said to have blown her entire Octomom fortune on a lavish lifestyle for herself while leaving her children to survive without her.
14 Terrible Kid - Nick Hogan
They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, which, unfortunately for Nick Hogan, appears to be true. The son of the aforementioned WWE Hall of Famer Hulk Hogan, Nick has been at the center of countless controversies and legal disputes throughout his 26 years on this planet.
In August of 2007, a teenage Nick crashed his car into a tree while speeding after a night of heavy drinking. Although the young Hogan made it out relatively unharmed, his passenger, John Graziano, sustained serious injuries and now requires 24-hour-a-day care. The following year, Hogan was sentenced to 8 months behind bars as punishment for the incident, along with five years of probation and 500 hours of community service (although he was released from prison early and saw his probation cut short in 2012).
13 Terrible Parent - Hulk Hogan
Professional wrestling and Hulk Hogan go hand-in-hand. Whether you grew up in the 80s, the 90s, or the 00s, you no doubt have memories of watching The Hulkster tear off his vest, wag his disapproving finger, and vanquish his opponent with an increasingly underwhelming leg drop. However, the past couple of years has seen the former WWE Champion’s career marred by controversy, including a much-publicized sex tape and the now infamous leaked audio of his 2007 racist rant.
The Hulkster has also been criticized for his relationship with his daughter, which can only be described as “Trump-esque”. Hogan has praised Brooke, his daughter who looks eerily similar to his current wife, for her beauty, with a frequency and enthusiasm that far exceed what is considered normal fatherly admiration. His inappropriate relationship with his daughter has been documented on camera on several occasions, most notably in a 2008 photograph which seemed to show the WWE Hall of Famer spreading sunscreen on his bikini-clad offspring’s upper-thighs.
12 Terrible Kid - Weston Cage
Nicolas Cage has been mocked for his willingness to take literally any role and his chronic overacting for well over a decade, so at this juncture in his career, it takes a lot to soil the guy’s name. It seems his son Weston, however, has managed to do just that.
The younger Cage has had some much-publicized issues with drugs and alcohol over the years and they came to a head in early 2017 when the actor’s offspring attempted to flee the scene of a car collision. Tailed by police, the would-be escapee saw his plan foiled when he crashed into a tree and was eventually charged with one DUI and two counts of hit and run. According to the police report, which, of course, found its way to TMZ, Cage’s blood alcohol content was nearly double the legal limit at the time of his arrest.
11 Terrible Parent - Britney Spears
Britney Spears was little more than a child herself when she skyrocketed to fame at the turn of the millennium, so I guess it’s no wonder she struggled with acclimating to the role of parent when she had her first child with Kevin Federline in of September of 2005.
In the years that followed, Spears saw her career decline, which, when combined with marital issues, sent her into a much-publicized breakdown. During this tumultuous period, the ...Baby One More Time singer was repeatedly photographed failing to adequately care for her children. One infamous picture showed Spears driving with her infant son on her lap rather than secured in a car seat, while a video captured her stumbling when holding her baby in one hand and a drink in the other. In the above photo, it also looks like her son is getting ready for a tumble!
10 Terrible Kid - Soon-Yi Previn
In 1978, Mia Farrow and her then husband André Previn adopted Soon-Yi, a South Korean toddler who had been found living on the streets of her native country without a word of English. Farrow and Previn worked tirelessly to educate the young girl and ensured that she had the best of everything, giving her a life that was in stark contrast to what she had experienced prior to being adopted. When Farrow and Previn separated, the former entered into a relationship with writer and director Woody Allen, who was infamously reluctant to serve as a father figure to any of her children. A little over a decade after meeting Allen, Mia Farrow discovered that he had been sleeping with the now grown-up Soon-Yi behind her back, and so their seemingly perfect relationship came to an end. Woody and Soon-Yi married shortly after and remain together to this day, living in Manhattan with two adopted children of their own.
9 Terrible Parent - Kim Kardashian
Back when she was a single socialite, hitting up clubs and being paid hundreds upon thousands of dollars for doing so, Kim Kardashian earned a not entirely unjustified reputation for being a bit of a narcissist. When her first child was born in June of 2013, many hoped motherhood would turn Kardashian into a slightly less selfish individual. Unfortunately, it seems just the opposite has happened. Over the past couple of years, Kim Kardashian seems to have grown even more self-obsessed than ever before, dressing her offspring in absurd costumes and using them to bring in Instagram followers and media attention. She has been known to spoil her children with multi-thousand dollar outfits and an endless supply of candy in order to keep them happy while she continues to play celebrity.
8 Terrible Kid - Cameron Douglas
The son of actor Michael Douglas and grandson of really old person Kirk Douglas, Cameron Douglas has had an underwhelming career in the movie business, appearing in only five notable films, none of which achieved any degree of critical acclaim. Douglas’ career as an actor was largely derailed by his issues with substance abuse, which really became a problem back in 1999 when he was charged with the possession of cocaine. In 2007, Douglas was again charged with the possession of a controlled substance. In 2009, he was charged with the intent to distribute methamphetamine. I could continue listing the guy’s legal troubles, but I have a limited word count, so let’s skip ahead to his 2010 incarceration for the possession of a variety of drugs. Douglas’ troubles didn’t stop once he was behind bars. A 2013 urinalysis found that he had managed to obtain drugs within prison walls, which resulted in him being sent to solitary confinement.
7 Terrible Parent - Mariah Carey
It was once reported that Mariah Carey insists on blaring her own music through a high-tech sound system while making love, something which has since been confirmed by several of Carey’s past lovers. This, of course, paints Carey as a self-obsessed diva, as does her treatment of her children.
Much like Kim Kardashian, Mariah Carey has been accused of using her children to gain international media attention. The singer has caused an uproar on multiple occasions by sharing images of her kids in borderline skimpy costumes, which she insists they love wearing. Carey has also been known to leave the difficult tasks which come along with raising a child, such as changing and disciplining, to an army of carers, which she employs so as not to dirty her precious hands.
6 Terrible Kid - Richard Hilfiger
You’ve got to feel bad for Richard Hilfiger. The guy desperately wants to be an Eminem-esque rapper, but owing to the fact his father is multi-millionaire fashion tycoon Tommy Hilfiger, he has been forced to live a life of luxury rather than one spent living in a trailer park and fighting rival gangs in bloody street showdowns. Because of his sheltered existence, rich Richie (which really should be his rap name) has been forced to create his own trouble.
In October of 2015, Richard Hilfiger was arrested in Miami Beach following an altercation with a nightclub security guard. According to witnesses, Hilfiger and a friend were denied entrance into a popular nightclub for being “too scruffy”, which led to an incensed Hilfiger punching the bouncer. He was later charged with battery and disorderly conduct, along with the possession of marijuana which was found on him during his arrest.
5 Terrible Parent - Mama June
Are there any worse celebrity mothers than Mama June? I’m going to go out on a limb and say probably not, especially considering the fact Mama June is pretty much only famous for being such a terrible mother. The grotesquely overweight would-be supervillain rose to fame for the outrageous antics of Honey Boo-Boo, her spoiled child whom she entered into beauty pageant after beauty pageant. The fact that June forced her child into such degrading pseudo-sexual parades is enough in itself to cement her status as a truly terrible parent, but she removed all doubts about her horrendous parenting abilities in 2014 when she rekindled a relationship with Mark McDaniel. McDaniel, for those who don’t keep up to date with Mama June and her demon spawn, was a convicted pedophile who had just completed a prison sentence for molesting Mama June’s daughter, Anna “Chickadee” Cardwell, when he reunited with the reality TV star.
4 Terrible Kid - Marcus Jordan
Few sportsmen have captivated the world like Michael Jordan did during the height of his NBA career. Back when he was an active basketball player, Michael Jordan was recognized as the best in the game and was a role model for children all across the United States of America, with the exception of his son, that is.
Marcus Jordan was a bit of a handful during his childhood and adolescence, and even continued his questionable behavior into his early adult years. Shortly after turning 21, Marcus Jordan was involved in a drunken altercation with two women which became so intense the cops had to be called. Jordan Jr. proceeded to resist arrest and was eventually booked for disorderly conduct and obstruction.
3 Terrible Parent - Charlie Sheen
For over a decade, actor Charlie Sheen’s love of drugs and alcohol has been a running joke among show business enthusiasts and Hollywood insiders alike. While his wacky shenanigans throughout his now infamous 2011 meltdown are prime for satire and straight up mockery, it is important to remember that his actions during this period were not so comical for his five children.
Sheen’s incessant party lifestyle, coupled with his tendency to cheat on his partners with adult film stars of varying degrees of attractiveness, has forced his children to denounce their father on multiple occasions. In March of 2011, during that aforementioned public breakdown, Sheen’s twin sons were removed from his care. Five years later, Sheen would take the mother of his twins to court to seek a reduction in child support while simultaneously battling charges of stalking his former fiancée.
2 Terrible Kid - Tracy Marrow, Jr.
Tracy Marrow, Jr. is, as you might have guessed, the son of Tracy Marrow. The original Tracy Marrow, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the perpetual delights that are the private matters of celebrities, is the real name of rapper and actor Ice-T.
The younger Marrow, perhaps in an attempt to mimic his father and other rap legends, has had his fair share of trouble with the law, most of which he seems to have gone out of his way to cause. For example, in late 2012, the then 20-year-old Marrow was pulled over by authorities for speeding and noise pollution. When instructed to turn down the volume of his car speakers, Marrow hurled abuse at the police and increased the volume in spite of them. He was later arrested for the incident on a $10,000 warrant.
1 Terrible Parent - Madonna
Madonna likes to think of herself as something of a taboo breaker. I suppose there was a point in time when she was indeed a bit of a rebel. Through risqué lyrics and saucy music videos, the so-called Material Girl showed that girls can be just as vulgar and sexually suggestive as boys. In the more open-minded world of today, however, being a rebel has become a whole lot more challenging, meaning Madonna has been forced to get creative in order to appear consistently outrageous.
It seems that the "Like a Virgin" singer has decided to go against the status quo by, you know, being a bad parent. The singer’s son and daughter have been photographed on a number of occasions smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, with their mother applauding them for doing so despite being underage.