Hollywood A-listers are just like anyone of us. Believe it or not, our perception of how life works and what people are really like is largely influenced by film and television. That means, the way we see ourselves is, in a roundabout way, governed by what celebrities are like. It’s a weird thought, but it’s true. But we’re talking about the characters they play. In real life, celebrities are a much different animal. At least, they seem to be the exaggerated versions of us. Perhaps that’s because we only ever hear about the extremes. But there is one aspect of celebrity life that doesn’t need to be exaggerated to be ridiculous—their relationships.
Sure, regular people struggle with relationships too, but not at the same rate as celebs. It is incredibly rare for a Hollywood couple to stay together for any stretch of time, let alone forever. This may be because of the stress and travel related to show business. It may be because actors are usually beautiful people with millions of dollars and plenty of free time. That isn’t the best recipe for monogamy. Obviously, there are the exceptions–the relationships that last–but this is very rare.
Now, many, if not most, Hollywood splits are done mutually. At least, they make it seem mutual. But that isn’t always the case. There have been many high-profile divorces that were the result of one side simply hiring a lawyer to do their dirty work for them. Both sides have hidden behind lawyers, but today, we’re looking at the men, the actors. Here are 20 Hollywood A-Listers Who Hired a Lawyer to Make Their Wives “Get The Point.”
20. Brad Pitt Hired Lawyer, Lance Spiegel
Brad Pitt is a master at breaking hearts. Now, that’s not to say that he does it alone. He just has a way of ending things with a high-profile spouse and coming out looking like a hero. Look at the split between him and Angelina Jolie. It was Jolie who, after a crazy flight into LA, filed for divorce. She cited “irreconcilable differences” and was looking to get custody of the couple’s 33 children.
Apparently, Brad flew off the handle during the flight and got fiery with the kids.
But Brad didn’t take it laying down. He hired his own lawyer, Lance Spiegel, who got him cleared of any wrongdoing. The lawyer then made it public that Pitt was going for joint custody instead of sole custody because it was in the best interests of the children. The result is Pitt smelling like roses and Jolie seeming like a pesky little gremlin.
19. Brad Pitt Times 2 (And Got The Upper-Hand)
The Pitt and Jolie divorce wasn’t the first time Mr. Pitt had a lawyer make him look like a boss. When he was married to Jennifer Aniston, they were the biggest couple on the planet. Now, despite reports that Pitt didn’t leave Aniston for Jolie, the whole situation seems mighty fishy. Regardless,
it may have been Jennifer who filed for divorce, but it was Pitt who got the upper hand in the end.
18. Tom Cruise Hired A Lawyer To Do All The Talking
Tom was able to say all the things he couldn’t muster up the courage to say to Nicole with his own mouth.
He even petitioned to get full custody of their two children, which he would be granted. Nicole Kidman may have been a giant star back then, but Tom came from the stars, and to the stars he would return with his children and his pride.
17. Tom Cruise Times 2 (Was This The Plan All Along?)
Tom Cruise may be an alien in human skin, but he’s a smart alien. When Katie Holmes filed for divorce and tried to get full custody of their child, Suri, Tom played it cool. He didn’t “freak out!”
He went and hired star lawyer Dennis Wasser to fight his battle for him.
Now, on the surface, Tom’s plans seem like they all failed. After all, Holmes got full physical custody of Suri. But Tom hadn’t seen his child in 800 days or something like that before custody was granted. It’s not like he couldn’t fly to see her. He could have bought an airport if he needed to get a flight in a pinch. He could have had his Scientology bros transport him to her in a beam of alien light. But he didn’t visit his daughter in any way. It’s possible that this was part of his plan and his lawyer’s loss just hammered home the point that Tom wanted to fly solo again, Maverick-style.
16. Jesse Williams – Hired A Lawyer To Say What He Wanted To Say
Do we call Jesse Williams an A-lister? Probably not, but his split with Aryn Drake-Lee has been hilariously public, so we’re including him. We do feel bad for the kids, but the mudslinging that’s been taking place between these two makes us wonder who the children really are in this situation. After Williams first filed for divorce and tried to get full custody, Drake-Lee started accusing him of all sorts of nasty things. Williams has since hired a lawyer himself, trying to ensure that he doesn’t have to pay spousal support. The lawyer helped him prepare this following statement,
“My hard work has allowed Aryn the incredible privilege of being a stay-at-home mom, with a full-time nanny, able to be with our children when she wants. She is now punishing me for providing that privilege… This is how I always supported our family and Aryn has no problem enjoying the financial benefits, including the $50,695 per month I pay her in temporary spousal support.”
15. Ewan McGregor – Let His Lawyer Take The Heat
For many years, Ewan McGregor and his wife, Eve Mavrakis, were one of those lifetime couples. They were married for 22 years. That’s certainly a lifetime in rich people years. Well, McGregor had seen enough. Or, maybe more accurately, McGregor had seen enough of Mavrakis and wanted to see more of Mary Elizabeth Winstead. These two Fargo stars reportedly fell for each other while shooting the show, and it led to McGregor having doubts about his marriage.
While he could have talked to his wife about it and figured things out, he decided to let his lawyer do the talking.
14. Chris Pratt – Separation Was Not Clear Enough
Even though the details are still a little scattered and confusing, it seems that separation wasn’t enough for Chris Pratt. After he and wife of seven years, Anna Faris, had announced that they were legally separating, Pratt took it one step further. Maybe it was because Faris didn’t fully grasp that they were separated, or maybe separation wasn’t enough for Pratt and he just didn’t want to be officially married anymore. We don’t know the whole truth. What we do know is that he filed the paperwork first.
13. Johnny Depp – Hired Lawyers To Make Him Look Good (And Not Like The Bad Guy Amber Was Claiming)
There’s no question that Johnny Depp came out as the bad guy in his split from Amber Heard, and it seems rightfully so. But after Heard wrote a public letter about domestic abuse, the whole scale of who will get what in the divorce was changed. At first, it appeared that Heard was going to take Depp for everything he had. In the end,
she did get quite a large fortune, but it was less than she had lined up in her sights.
After the letter, Depp’s lawyers insisted that Heard “violated the terms of their divorce.” This put a large dent in the settlement, but hopefully, the letter did some good for those suffering from abuse.
12. Laurence Fishburne – Needed A Lawyer To Get The Facts Straight
Another one of those, hey, maybe this Hollywood couple will last, was Laurence Fishburne and Gina Torres. We believed it for a time, but they proved us wrong once again. There is no love in Hollywood. Well, after the split, Torres said, “There are no bad guys here. Only a love story with a different ending than either one of us had expected.” But that doesn’t seem to be so true. It was Fishburne who filed for divorce. It was Fishburne who, through his lawyers, is asking for full custody of his daughter. So, while we don’t know the whole story, it sure seems like Torres is being made out to be the bad guy here.
11. Bill Hader – Needed The Help Of A Lawyer To Ensure His Wife Knew Where He Stood
Bill Hader and his wife, Maggie Carey, were married for 11 years and had three children together. The sneaky buggers had separated in the summer last year and kept it secret from us until December. After it got out in public, Hader got ahead of it and had his lawyers file for divorce. Classy move.
He cited, as they all do, irreconcilable differences and asked for full custody of the kids.
Who knows what went down in that relationship, but it was said that the physical distance between them and the travelling that Hader had to do for work took its toll. So, with the help of some legal counsel, Hader made sure his wife knew where he stood.
10. Chris Rock – Divorce Lawyer Helped Make Things Clear
In 2016, Chris Rock ended it with the woman with possibly the coolest name in all of Hollywood, Malaak Compton-Rock. Now, Rock blames himself for the divorce because he was to blame for the divorce. He admits he cheated on his wife at least three times. Considering that those admissions were part of his comedy routine, we don’t know how true they really are. But, cheating on his wife was not enough. Rock then had to go file for divorce to make sure she really understood where his head was at.
9. Will Arnett – Had Lawyers Send Amy The Paperwork
two years after the separation, in 2014, Arnett filed for divorce.
We think he did it because he wanted to be the only funny one in the family, but we’re not sure. Either way, Arnett called up his lawyers and had them send Amy some paperwork to make it clear that they were officially done.
8. Jay Mohr – Needed His Lawyer After A Lot Of Back And Forth
Actor Jay Mohr said all the right things after he had his lawyers file for divorce from Nikki Cox. He said, “This is not a story for the news. This story is eternal and for our hearts. Two people fell in love and loved with everything they had,” Mohr says. “Those two people still love each other. Celebrate that. Print LOVE over and over if you print anything about our home and the love we still share.” Eh, sounds great. But here’s what also happened. In July of 2016, Mohr first filed for divorce but then took it back. Five months later, in December, he filed once more, this time for keeps.
7. Ashton Kutcher – After Thinking About It For 1 Year, He Got The Lawyers Involved
When Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore first split up, it was Moore who took the upper hand in the relationship’s demise. She released a statement in 2011 that read, “It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton.” But Ashton had to find a way to show her that he was the pants-wearer in their relationship, the king of the castle, and the one who wins. So,
after more than a year of careful consideration, he filed for divorce.
He also found his way back to Mila Kunis, so he was winning quite a bit back then, and still is.
6. Ben Stiller – Needed His Lawyers After Initiating Divorce
If you thought that 17 years of marriage between Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor meant anything in Hollywood, well you were totally wrong. Just as easily as Britney cast off that guy she married in Vegas,
Stiller got his lawyers to say goodbye to his long-time wife.
Sure, maybe it didn’t happen exactly that way, but we can only go by what the paperwork and the lawyers say. While their joint separation statement made it seem mutual, some sources say that Ben was the man who initiated the divorce because of a whole slew of reasons, including health fears.
5. Cuba Gooding Jr. – Hired Lawyers And Got Revenge
Cuba Gooding Jr. was married to Sara Kapfer for 22 years. Again, that seems like a lot, but it’s not forever. But it was back in 2014 that Kapfer ended the relationship. Gooding Jr. looked like the sap during that time, but he took his revenge. He waited until Kapfer was least expecting it. He waited until his name was back in the press for good things, like the OJ American Crime Story show. Then his lawyer filled out some paperwork and filed for divorce. Bang! Cuba decided that he would reclaim his honor and show Kapfer that he was the one in charge.
4. David Schwimmer – Ross Knows A Thing Or Two About Divorce
Remember when David Schwimmer was all upset that Jennifer Aniston basically ignored his wedding to Zoe Buckman? Well, maybe she was on to something. It was last year when Schwimmer and Buckman announced that they were separating. But,
if there’s anything that Ross knows, it’s how to get divorced properly.
So, he didn’t let Buckman do the deed. He filed and made her look like the bad guy. While we can’t confirm anything happened while these two were on a break, if we know Ross, and we think we know him pretty well, he doesn’t wait long to find someone else to occupy his time.
3. Keegan Michael Key – His Lawyers Took Care Of Everything
Keegan Michael Key doesn’t let anyone push him around. So, when he was getting divorced from his wife of 17 years, Cynthia Blaise,
he hired a crack team of lawyers to work things out.
And did they ever. Kegan got away with paying less than $700,000 to his ex-wife. Wait…$700,000? But surely, his lawyers got his monthly spousal allowance whittled down to peanuts. No? $34,000 per month? Jesus. Key hired a lawyer to make his wife get the point alright. Game point and match.
2. Tom Green – It Was All Wrong… But Lawyers Came To The Rescue
The year was 2001. Britney and Justin were still dating. We hadn’t yet seen every inch of Kim Kardashian‘s bare body just yet. And Michael Jackson and Mariah Carey hadn’t gone full crazy yet. It was a magical time to be alive, unless you were Tom Green. Green had only been married to Drew Barrymore for a year when he filed for divorce. It wasn’t enough that shortly after they got together, Barrymore’s house burned down. She didn’t take that warning sign from the heavens to heart. It finally took for Green to file for divorce for Barrymore to really understand that the weird and strange Tom Green was not for her.
1. Nicolas Cage – Called His Lawyers And Got Everything Fixed
It took three months for Cage to realize that he had made a huge mistake.
Now, don’t mistake us. There’s nothing we have against Presley. But this is the Nicolas Cage. Sir Nic. Sir Cage. Johnny Blaze. The Cageman. While Presley may be the daughter of the King, Cage IS the king. It took a few months for Cage to realize this. It came to him on a sunny morning while he was flexing in the mirror. He decided to call his lawyers up to get this thing fixed.
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