Looking back, it’s kind of hard to believe that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, the once Hollywood ‘golden couple,’ were only married for 5 years because they sure as hell packed it with some drama. And perhaps the focus of their biggest dramas centered around their only child together, daughter Suri. Holmes had Suri after she and Cruise had only been dating one year, and things continued to spiral faster and (ever weirder) out of control.

At first, TomKat and their new bundle of joy seemed incredibly happy together, but there was a silent mistress in their marriage that turned Cruise into a lousy husband, and worse, an even lousier father figure to Suri—Scientology. Cruise’s deeply weird devotion to the religious cult put insane demands on their relationship and ultimately, on their handling of Suri.

The Mission: Impossible star wanted to raise a devout Scientologist and cut Suri off from the rest of the world, so sensing that he wanted to brainwash their daughter, Katie finally divorced Cruise in 2012. Since then, Cruise seems to have put the divisive and dangerous cult of Scientology before his own little girl, and his subsequent parenting fails have been scary, to say the least. These are 20 things Katie Holmes definitely wouldn’t want her family to know about the weird reality of Cruise’s parenting...

Cruise Didn’t Bother To Contact Suri For Nearly 1,000 Days

No, this wasn’t down to some cruel legal enforcement put down by Katie after the divorce. Astonishingly, there really was a period shortly after their divorce when Cruise didn’t see nor speak to his only biological child, Suri, for almost 1,000 days. That’s 2 and a half years! In that time, Tom Cruise never even picked up the phone to say Hi. That’s cold. In explaining his long absence from Suri,

Cruise’s publicity team has always used the blanket excuse of his “film commitments.”

Given Cruise’s work schedule, it would seem as if he deliberately chose to be busy during those years instead of spending time with his daughter. After his split from Katie, Cruise made at least one film every year up until 2015. The bizarre ‘disconnection’ policy upheld by the Scientology church could also point to his deliberate distance.

He Obtained A Personal Sonogram Machine

Every parent-to-be is curious to know how their baby is doing in the womb, but most people leave it up to the professionals to find these things out at their first baby scan. Evidently, Tom Cruise couldn’t wait that long, and within months of finding out that he was going to become a daddy to Katie Holmes’ kid, he took things a little too far by bringing home his own personal sonogram machine.

The ultrasound machine–which reportedly cost around $250,000 at the time–was not for sale like a pacifier or walkie-talkie.

This was expensive and an essential hospital equipment, which cruise had obtained and paid for (illegally) to monitor his daughter’s heartbeat and movement months before most couples are even booked in to have their baby’s first scan. It’s scary what celeb status and privilege can help you get access to.

Tom Took Suri On A High-Speed Car Chase Through NYC To Avoid Paparazzi

When Tom Cruise wasn’t attempting to brainwash his daughter and fill her head with divisive nonsense from the controversial teachings of Scientology, he seemed to be putting Suri in physical danger too—like the time he involved her in a high-speed chase through the streets of New York while trying to evade the paparazzi.

Tom Cruise and a 6-year-old girl were running for their lives through the bustling New York City streets and almost risking their lives in the process.

But this wasn’t on the set of one of Cruise’s blockbusters, this was all happening for real and worst of all, it involved his daughter. To avoid the press, Cruise’s reportedly asked his driver to speed down Manhattan (doing 45 mph in a 25 mph zone) which lasted around 20 minutes. Whether Suri had her seatbelt on securely or not, this is one gigantic parenting fail.

His Obsessive Baby Monitoring Could Have Harmed An Unborn Suri

Tom Cruise’s unauthorized use of his home sonogram machine was not only against the law, it was also posing a potential danger to his yet to be born daughter, Suri. According to reports at the time, ultrasound technicians and colleagues at the American College of Radiology were appalled by Cruise’s unsupervised use of the equipment. Most of all, because he was using it far too early (and obsessively) into Katie’s pregnancy. Having regular scans of your baby is different when doing so with a trained and highly-skilled technician,

but the amount Tom Cruise is believed to have used his own personal sonogram machine could have exposed Suri to prolonged periods of ultrasound waves,

and if he had, this could easily have led to unwanted vibrations and raise in temperature which could physically affect the fetal tissue and even cause birth defects in rare cases.

Suri Had Scientology Caretakers Instead Of Regular Nannies

If there was a spectrum for nannies ranging from best to worst, it would probably feature Mary Poppins on one end (our idealized childhood view of one) and surely, everyone’s worst nightmare at the other end, an incredibly strict Scientologist Nanny. Unfortunately for poor Suri Cruise, she had the latter to take care of her. And not just one, but two strict Scientologist nannies. Gulp.

Almost everywhere they went as a family, Suri Cruise would be joined by Tom Cruise’s sister and his assistant—

both of whom are loyal members of the controversial church. Apparently, shortly after Katie Holmes divorced Cruise, Suri was still being closely monitored by specially-chosen caretakers from the church, but Holmes (thankfully) soon put a stop to this for fears that they would alienate Suri against her.

Suri’s Bizarre Role In Their Wedding

By the time that Tom and Katie’s wedding day had arrived, their baby daughter, Suri, was only 7 months old. But she was old enough, it seems, to perform some kind of role in their wedding ceremony. Since the TomKat wedding was so full of secrecy and mystique, the reports aren’t clear as to precisely what Suri’s role was, but some accounts point towards her being a flower girl. A perfectly reasonable request, right? This is where things began to get weird. According to actress Leah Remini, one of the wedding guests,

there was a bizarre moment when she walked in on Suri’s caretakers looming over Suri on the bathroom floor while they repeatedly shouted her name.

Remini recalled that the women were staring at Suri as if she were the “reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard” (the founder of Scientology). Weird AF.

Holmes Had To Use A Disposable Cellphone To Keep Custody Plans Secret

While this isn’t strictly about Tom Cruise’s poor parenting style, it does show the lengths that Katie Holmes felt she had to go to to make sure her daughter would be safe after their separation. If Cruise had become wise to any of Katie’s divorce plans (especially her primary custody of Suri), things could have gotten very ugly, and Cruise would probably have pulled another dangerous stunt like the New York car chase or worse just to keep Suri on side. To ensure that she and Suri could successfully break up with Scientology’s golden child,

Holmes had to resort to using a private and undetectable cellphone to carry out divorce proceedings and even set up lawyer meetings in three separate states!

This really reveals how poisonous their marriage must have been behind the scenes, not to mention Cruise’s bizarre and unstable relationship with Suri.

Cruise Wanted Suri Raised To Be A Strict Scientologist

Forget letting your kids express themselves and find their own way in life. As the most celebrated Scientologist in the celeb world, Tom Cruise wanted the complete opposite for his daughter—complete and utter devotion towards the teachings and practice of Scientology. Probably in the hopes that Suri would become brainwashed enough to do the same for her kids too.

This isn’t a surprising fact since Scientology members aim to keep the religion in the family (with many families even disowning their own loved ones if they stray from it), but Katie Holmes had hoped to have a say in how her only child would be raised. Katie was open to the idea of Scientology when she began dating Cruise, but the more she found out about it–like the rest of us–the more horrified she was and by this point, it was too late.

Baby Suri Was Only Fed ‘Scientology-Approved’ Formula

Whether they choose to breastfeed or buy store bought formula, most new moms usually make their own decision as to what to feed their baby. In the world of Scientology, however, things are a little more strict where even baby food is concerned. One of the first things Katie Holmes had to get used to about raising her daughter under the Scientology faith is that she had to only feed Suri the breast milk formula that had been pre-approved by the church founder himself. So, what was L. Ron Hubbard’s winning recipe for baby formula?

A pretty gross mixture of corn syrup, milk, and barley water.

Yuck. Apparently, this was deemed a more natural drink to rear babies on. Unsurprisingly, this was an issue Katie argued with Cruise about frequently throughout their marriage.

Cruise Wanted Scientologists To Homeschool Suri

Scientology has always been a big part of Tom Cruise’s life even before meeting Katie Holmes. During his second marriage to Nicole Kidman, they had two adopted kids together, Isabella (now 25) and Connor Cruise (23), and Tom enrolled them both in strict Scientology-style homeschooling. Naturally, he wanted the same for Suri when she came along, but Holmes felt differently. Towards the end of their relationship, Katie Holmes herself had stopped to Scientology classes

and was realizing that she didn’t want her only daughter to fall into the same trap.

When Katie brought up the notion of Suri being given a more traditional education, Cruise reportedly lost it, and the two fought viciously over Suri’s schooling options. Thankfully, they were both able to eventually break free from a very unhinged Cruise.

Suri Was Overindulged And Spoiled... Was This True?

Let’s face it, there are a lot of kids who wouldn’t classify this as bad parenting! But spoiling your kids is going to have its repercussions down the line, and Tom Cruise didn’t seem to take this into consideration when raising Suri. According to Scientology teachings, all kids should be “treated like grownups.” At first, this might sound like a positive thing. It makes kids feel respected and taken seriously, but the line of discipline has to be drawn somewhere, right? Not according to Cruise. All celeb kids are going to have a lavish lifestyle, but Cruise made sure that his daughter had anything and everything she could ever ask for.

By 4 years old, little Suri Cruise had her own $2-million wardrobe and her own stylist!

Because of this, there was an incident when Suri threw a crying fit when Holmes refused to buy her a puppy at the pet store. Complete parenting fail.

Katie Felt Constantly Overruled By Tom’s Parenting Style

Parenting is all about compromise and listening to one another to make sure you’re doing what’s best for your kid. Unfortunately, having the world’s most famous Scientologist as a father can complicate things, and any hope of giving your child stability and balance goes out the window when you have to abide by crazy and irrational child rearing rules. Because of the demanding rules of Scientology such as treating kids “like grownups,”

Katie Holmes struggled to wield any discipline as a mother, and in the early years of Suri’s life, it constantly made her out to be the “bad cop” of the team.

While Tom was busy overindulging Suri with designer shopping trips and ice cream for breakfast in the name of religion, Katie found it hard to put her foot down. Great parenting, Tom.

Cruise Missed Two Of Suri’s Birthdays

It’s not a big deal to miss your child’s birthday when they’re fully grown and flown the nest as jobs and long distances can get in the way. But to miss your kid’s birthday when he/she is only 10 and 11 years old? That’s pretty unforgivable. Yet this is what Tom Cruise did without appearing to offer up much explanation.

Missing time with your kids in their formative years can have a huge impact on their future well-being and their own relationship with the parent, but clearly, Cruise didn’t know or care about this fact because he chose to be absent from two of young Suri’s birthdays in a row. In response to his absence, Cruise has always claimed that he was busy filming, but many believe this is a cover story for the real reason he chooses to stay away from his daughter—his unfaltering loyalty to Scientology.

Wanting Katie To Give Birth To Suri ‘In Silence’

Tom Cruise kind of began his weird parenting streak right from the word go when this weird-as-hell story came out. You’ll probably be aware of the bizarre reports that Cruise wanted Katie to give birth in absolute silence. At the time, it was reported that this batsh*t crazy method was actually a way of enhancing the experience for the mother, like a spiritual water birth. But the reality is much more messed up than this. According to the words of Scientologist founder L. Ron Hubbard,

women in labor are forbidden from “screaming, groaning, or even talking, lest their words cause trauma to their newborn.”

WTF. Doctors, medical staff, and all family around Katie were also instructed to be silent throughout the labor and delivery. Nothing like bringing a new life into the world than creating the atmosphere of a morgue.

Cruise’s Post-Divorce Rule That Katie Couldn’t Introduce Boyfriends To Suri

Divorce is a cruel thing and horrible for everyone involved, but the person who is usually affected worst of all is the kid. Tom Cruise really caused a parenting blunder here when he forbade Katie from dating and therefore, robbing his young daughter, Suri, of the chance to move on with the presence of a different father figure and male role model in her life. After a divorce or breakup, no one can ever replace a parent, but the fact that Cruise didn’t want his ex-wife and daughter to be happy and move on proves just how petty he really was. And ‘petty’ doesn’t even begin to cover it when it came to the full extent of Cruise’s ridiculous divorce ‘terms.’ Tom Cruise reportedly demanded that Katie wasn’t allowed to publicly date anyone

for a total of 5 years

and specifically, to not allow any new boyfriend “near Suri.” What on Earth? Poor Katie and Suri...

Suri And Mother Katie Are Viewed As Suppressing Cruise’s “Spiritual Growth”

A big reason (or ‘excuse,’ to be more accurate) for Tom Cruise’s long absences from his daughter’s life has been attributed to his work schedule and to his Scientology beliefs, but it’s sad when you realize just how deeply his devotion to Scientology goes. Given the choice between a present and supportive father or a great ‘Operating Thetan’ score, Tom Cruise has and will always (sadly) choose the latter.

When a relationship breaks up within the Scientology church, the leaver (in this case, Katie Holmes) is then identified as an SP or a ‘suppressive person’ and by extension as her daughter, Suri, is what the church label a PTS or ‘Potential Trouble Source.’ In other words, Cruise is happy to shun even his only biological child if it means that Suri could be hindering his “spiritual growth.” It seems like poor Suri will always come second best in his eyes.

Baby Suri Was Left Alone “Crying On The Floor” At Their Wedding

Young kids and babies can be nightmares at weddings and important events, but as parents, you’re kind of meant to deal with it and be responsible for your child. Not the Cruises. During Tom and Katie’s lavish Italian wedding in the fall of 2006, everyone was having too good a time to care about the sounds of 7-month-old Suri crying on the bathroom floor.

Reportedly, guests could clearly hear Suri’s cries for ages but did nothing about it,

until actress Leah Remini convinced someone to pick baby Suri up and give her a bottle of warm milk! We get that it was their wedding day, but to pretend that your baby doesn’t exist or leave a guardian with her? That’s pretty incredible. Scientologists believe that children are “spiritual beings” and can “handle many responsibilities.” I suppose they let Suri handle the stove and the Ajax under the sink too?

Cruise Made His Older Children Take A Course In Identifying ‘Enemies Of Scientology’

This particular example of creepy parenting may apply to Cruise’s kids from a previous marriage (with Nicole Kidman), but this is definitely a fact that Katie Holmes would be ashamed to share with her family because he would, no doubt, have tried to brainwash Suri with the same damaging trash further down the line. The phrase “It’s complicated” was never more appropriate for a relationship than the one Cruise shared with second wife, Nicole Kidman. After nearly 11 years of being together,

Cruise filed for divorce in 2001 out of the blue,

and it’s thought that Kidman’s lack of interest in Scientology was the reason. Cruise quickly identified Kidman as a ‘suppressive person,’ and he schooled their adopted kids in how to spot other SP’s in future, lest they “disrupted their spiritual well-being.” Messed up.