Are you a fan of Showtime’s original series Shameless? If so, you already know just how promiscuous, and truly shameless the characters on this show can actually be. In fact, they are so promiscuous that they even put the meaning of the word ‘shameless’ to shame. Just in case you haven’t tuned in, Shameless focuses on the family life of the Gallaghers. The Gallaghers often find themselves engaged in terrible situations. As a result they are often plagued by a string of humorous, awkward, or heartbreaking events. You also learn pretty fast that it’s not their fault. It’s just the Gallagher’s way of life.
The role of Frank Gallagher is played by William H. Macy. He’s a single father, albeit not much of one. Frank is an alcoholic and drug addict, which often leads him to some very awkward promiscuity. His eldest daughter, Fiona (played by Emmy Rossum) has taken on the role as primary caregiver to her five younger siblings. She casually floats in and out of relationships because something always happens to mess it up, even if it’s her own doing. Lip is Frank’s eldest son and the genius of the family. He also has a way of screwing himself out of great opportunities and gets laid, a lot. Ian is their younger brother, who’s been out of the closet ever since the first season. He occasionally gets himself into promiscuous situations, but mostly when he’s off of his bipolar meds. The youngest kids are Debbie, Carl and Ian. As the younger children, they start off caught the middle, but become entangled in the Gallagher lifestyle as they get older.
Now that you’ve been introduced the Gallaghers, it’s time to look back on just how shameless, awkward and hilarious the promiscuous exploits from this show actually are. *SPOILER ALERT* Here are 15 promiscuous scenes that are so shameless, they even put Shameless to shame…
17. Meet Fiona
What better way to start then at the beginning? In the pilot for Shameless, you find out pretty quick, just how promiscuous Fiona really is. “Can you get used to that?” starts off about as normal as things can get for the Gallaghers. Fiona’s only getaway from the pressures of working and raising her siblings is to go out clubbing.
On her night out, Fiona falls victim to a purse-snatcher, and gets put down by a bouncer, but a young man named Steve comes to her rescue. She brings him home to meet the rest of the Gallaghers, plus her neighbors. A promiscuous kitchen scene like no other transpires, once everyone’s left and the kids are tucked in. The scene includes the counters, table and anywhere thinkable. Clothes are briskly bushed aside and hastily pulled off. All caution is thrown to the wind. Steve’s finger gets stuck in a drawer, ouch! There’s lots of nudity and it’s absolutely shameless! How’s that for a Shameless introduction?
16. Oh, Frank!
What you see above may look pretty awkward. However, this isn’t the last, or worst that you’ll see of Frank Gallagher’s promiscuous lifestyle. This scene took place in “Gone Daddy, Gone”. It was just after Steve had taken Frank on a one way trip to Toronto. Steve’s plan was to rid Fiona of her heaviest burden, but back then the Gallaghers still wanted Frank around. Steve ended up having to return Frank and he got the cold shoulder treatment from Fiona, but only for awhile.
Once Frank was returned, Lip laid into him about how much of a burden he actually was. Frank’s solution was to shack up with his agoraphobic neighbor, Sheila Jackson. What Frank didn’t know was that Sheila also happens to be super freaky and kinky. It wasn’t long before she had him handcuffed to her bed and was using things in places that he really wished she hadn’t. Afterwards, she was kind enough to cook and get him a cushion for his sore bum. At this point it becomes obvious that there’s absolutely no shame in his game, or hers for that matter.
15. In A Cop Car? Sure, Why Not
Bet you didn’t think you’d see Fiona again this soon, but then again you probably knew. The short-lived couple’s dirty deed in his cop car was so hot, that her riding him in the front seat is everywhere. However, finding them without extreme nudity involved, not so easy at all. Go figure!
Anyways, Fiona wasn’t talking to Steve after he dropped Frank off in Toronto. So, by the third episode she appeared to have already moved on to Tony the cop. He invited her out to a school event and bang! The next scene with them together happens to be them in the front seat of his police car. Plus, they were right outside of the school. That was all it took for Tony to have stars in his eyes. Fiona was to meet his parents for their second date, but she stood him up to go back to Steve. All the while, Steve wasn’t even Steve. He was really Jimmy! See? Promiscuity so shameless that it even puts Shameless to Shame.
14. A Failed Attempt
It seemed as though everybody was getting lucky in the beginning of Shameless. Even Ian, who was still in the closet back then. Although, that didn’t stop him from having not one, but two love interests in season one. He went from banging Kash, the owner of the Kash and Grab store where he worked, to tough guy Mickey Milkovich, who he’s been in love with ever since. As if that wasn’t enough, he also caused Mandy from down the street to form a major crush on him (he tripped a teacher who was giving her a hard time at school).
Mandy had no clue that Ian wasn’t wired that way. One day they ended up on the couch together and her special way of thanking him was to pull out a string of condoms. Ian rejected her, and Mandy had no idea as to why. So, she ran from the house crying. Ian came clean about his sexuality later and the pair agreed to have a fake relationship. That’s attempted, yet shamelessly failed promiscuity at its finest.
13. Daddyz Girl
Remember when we mentioned Sheila? She was the freaky, agoraphobic neighbor who Frank is shacking up with. That’s Karen, her daughter that you see in the scene above. In the beginning she was blonde, had a thing with Lip, and was very promiscuous. She wanted revenge on her dad, Eddie because he had called her a wh*re in front of everyone at a purity ball.
Karen’s revenge was to dye her hair black, get her nose pierced, and to seduce Frank. She also had “wh*re” tattooed on her arm, just to make daddy extra proud. Frank wasn’t feeding into it at first, but she finally caught him completely wasted and took advantage of him. Next comes the scene where she’s grinding on Frank as if there was no tomorrow. Here’s the real kicker… She aired the whole event on her video blog. Karen also emails the video to Daddy dearest, who goes after Frank, but ends up killing himself. Can Shameless get anymore shameful than this?
12. Fiona, Craig and His Wife
Season two brought Fiona to a whole new level of shameless. Especially, when she knowingly slept with her married high school flame, Craig. Their relationship started out innocent enough, but something happened to send Fiona on a downward spiral. The next thing you know, Fiona’s is in his family vehicle looking appalled as she looks around at his kid’s toys flung everywhere, while he’s humping the crap out of her.
I would love to say Fiona was able to walk away and forget this shameful event, but nope. An episode later and Craig’s wife popped up to deck Fiona in the face and chase her through the house with Fiona’s own bat! To make matters worse, Craig and his wife popped up again later. Only this time it was so he could ask them both for forgiveness at the behest of their priest. While this was going on, Fiona’s latest fling was standing by watching the events unfold. Yep! That’s shameless.
That’s Frank and Dottie that you see above. Only, Frank and the other men at the bar chose to call her Butterface because she had an incredibly hot body, but a super ugly face. While drinking at The Alibi one day, Frank overheard that Dottie had a pension check coming and that she was waiting for a heart transplant. He showed up at her door to play handyman and to get her into bed.
Frank’s plan changed when he realized that Dottie would die if she had sex because of her heart. Instead he talked her into becoming his wife so that her pension checks wouldn’t go to waste when she died. Frank wooed her by saying that he’d light a candle for her every day. He also removed her from the transplant list, which made his plan backfire. Dottie decided that she wanted go out with a bang, if you know what I mean. Unfortunately for Frank, this was before they made it down the aisle. However, Frank did the deed and got the two grand she promised him from the freezer afterward. Shameless Frank, just shameless.
10. Sheila and Her Daughter’s Ex
So, Eddie had committed suicide and Karen’s rebellious promiscuity landed her in sex addict’s anonymous. It was there that she met Jody, who she married. Karen eventually grew tired of Jody and kicked him out, but he would still come around to help Sheila with her hospice patients.
It wasn’t long before Jody and Sheila ended up doing the do, sometime in between, during, and after these helpful acts of faith. Jody was actually a little gun shy about Sheila’s toy fetish. Although, not for reasons you might think. He was worried that adding the toys would bring back his insatiable sexual urges, which had lead him to sex addict’s anonymous. Sheila enlisted Frank to talk to Jody because he understood her “needs”. Sheila’s plan worked and she got what she wanted, but Jody’s drive went into overdrive. He went so overboard with role-playing and toys, that even Sheila got sick of it. Although, it was mostly because she wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of the gadgets. A bit of shameless karma, perhaps?
9. Lip Gets Taught
In the scene above, Lip, Ian and a few of their neighbors hit the block planning to beat up the neighborhood pedophiles that Lip had found online. However, Blake turned out to be a hot, female teacher who had slept with her student. The group fell apart, but Lip was still convinced that she was a sexual predator and set out to prove it. Lip went back to Blake’s and asked to trim her hedges.
While there, he pretended to be younger and sexually inexperienced. It wasn’t long before Blake offered to teach him. She got his pants down and applied Nair to his nether regions, explaining that she needed him smooth like a baby and followed up with a hummer. That night Lip’s girlfriend, Mandy Milkovich saw his baby smooth groin, which led Lip to explain what happened. Mandy got some neighborhood thugs to dig a fresh grave in Blake’s front yard and used it to threaten her into fleeing the neighborhood. Let’s just say that Blake’s shameful pleasure even put Shameless to shame.
8. Kev & V Make A Baby
Veronica Fisher and Kevin Ball, aka V and Kev, are the least promiscuous couple on the block. However, their excursions got extremely shameless when V found out that she was infertile. V was told she only had about a 5% chance at conceiving, so they decided to use V’s mom, Carol as a surrogate. Their initial method of insemination was to use a turkey baster. When that didn’t work V devised a new plan, which was for Kev to just dive on in. What better way to conceive than naturally, right?
That’s right! Kev knocked his own mother-in-law up the old-fashioned way! Although, he did have trouble making it to the finish line. This is where Veronica joined in, just to make sure they got the job done. Nobody would want to go through this twice, right? This has got to be one of the most shameful scenes on Shameless. Kev on bottom with V and her mom on top. The plan did work, however, they may have rushed things just a little. V also found out that she was pregnant with triplets. Yeah, that’s pretty shameless. Not the miracle babies, just the method…
7. A Forced Marriage
Ahh, Mickey and Svetlana. The marriage that nobody wanted to happen. The whole thing started when Mickey’s dad walked in on him with Ian and went berserk. He hit Ian, beat the hell out of Mickey, left, and came back with Svetlana. His intention was to have Mickey do Svetlana, right in front of Ian. Mickey couldn’t go against his dad’s wishes, so he did exactly what dad told him to do. Not that this was a problem for Mickey, who loved Ian, although he was also into chicks.
The forced promiscuity resulted in a fake pregnancy, marriage and real pregnancy. This drove Ian a little crazy. He ran away and joined the army. Then went AWOL, after he stole one of their helicopters. The whole situation was heartbreaking. Especially, later when Mickey finally chose to come out of the closet and work things out with Ian, much to Svetlana’s dismay. By then, Ian wasn’t the same. They do try again, later, but something always gets between Ian and Mickey. Mickey’s dad is what you could call a perverted, evil, and shameless gay shamer.
6. Fiona and Her Boss/Boyfriend’s Brother
In the scene above, Fiona and Robbie almost appear to be two strangers on a bus. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, this was either just before or right after an explosive, promiscuous scene, where the guy had his hand up Fiona’s skirt. The guy’s name is Robbie and he happens to be her boss’/boyfriend’s brother, Mike.
After Steve/Jimmy dipped on Fiona for the gazillonth time, she met Mike, who was actually a stand-up kind of guy. The only problem was Robbie, who was fresh out of rehab. He was set to prove Fiona was an addict too. Only, he didn’t think she had a problem with drugs. Instead, he had her pinned as a sex fiend. Fiona didn’t do much to disprove his assumption. Actually, she allowed him to have his way with her in his brother’s apartment. Not just once, but twice. Mike was there the first time, but was drunk and half passed out. Pretty shameless, even for a sex fiend.
5. Kev & The Hot Coeds
You might be wondering what V’s, Kev is doing with those hot coeds. Once they had the babies Kev turned into super dad and this left V longing for attention. To make a long story short… V got off on some guy’s leg on the dance floor, which led her to send Kev for a h*ndjob. V thought the h*ndjob would make things even so they could move forward, but instead she moved to the apartment above The Alibi Room.
Meanwhile, Kev went to stay with Lip at the college dorm, while Svetlana watched the babies. It started out as a gig to sell drugs, but Kev found himself playing r*pe walker. Hold on, it’s not as bad as it sounds. His job was to keep the drunk coeds safe from the real r*pist, by escorting them to their dorm rooms. Kev did get plenty of coed action there, but it was only from the sober ones who wanted multiple org*sms. Definitely not the drunk ones. That would be too shameless.
4. Lip’s Hot Professor
Lip has had some bad luck with teachers, although he did get lucky with the second one. At least Professor Helene wasn’t a shameless pedophile. Instead, she was a married professor, whose husband didn’t mind. Lip didn’t find out about this little detail until the first time he stayed over at her house. Actually, he kinda freaked out when her husband got home, but it all worked out. Theo even offered to make Lip an omelet. How’s that for an awkward breakfast?
However, things did get bad when Lip stopped sleeping with his girlfriend from college. She made copies of a nude photo that Lip had of Helene and posted it online and all over campus. This led for Helene and Lip’s relationship to end. It’s too bad because Helene had really fallen for Lip and vice versa. She even brought up the possibility of having Lip kill her husband. Lip went of the deep end, started drinking way too much, and got expelled. Tsk, tsk.
This affair started back when Kev and V first split. Svetlana had been working at their bar, The Alibi ever since she stopped getting paid for handj*bs. It turned out that she was also great with kids, so she moved in with Kev to help, when V had moved out. She offered wifely duties, along with childcare for both V and Kev, although neither of them knew the other had been given the same shameless head treatment.
Kev an V worked things out, but by then Svetlana was in danger of being deported. The logical answer was for Svetlana and Kev to marry. However, V didn’t approve and they opted on a lesbian marriage instead. Kev wasn’t supportive of V marrying Svetlana either. At least not until the extra benefits were mentioned. Once both found out the other had accepted wifely duties from Svetlana, they agreed on becoming an awkward, promiscuous throuple. This worked really well for all of them, in a weird shameless way.
2. Fiona’s Affairs
Fiona actually married a really great guy in Season 5. His name was Gus and they got hitched super quick. Then Steve/Jimmy, who was going by Jack showed back up, even though he was supposed to be dead. Of course, Fiona had a steamy, promiscuous fling with her ex. Although, she did come clean and told Gus what happened. Gus took it well at first, but he wanted to meet Jimmy, which didn’t go so well. He ended up punching Jimmy in the face and leaving Fiona to go on tour with his band.
By the time he got back, she had to buy back her house. This meant getting his signature stating that he declined to be on the mortgage. However, Gus wasn’t thrilled to see Fiona and requested that she meet him at a gig he was doing. The song he played was called “The F Word”, but the F stood for Fiona. That’s okay, because she was engaged to her new boss, Sean, just as soon as they got divorced. It was shamelessly sweet, but didn’t last either.
1. Frank’s Hot Doctor
There’s no way Frank could’ve landed this hot doctor under normal circumstances, but Bianca’s situation was as far from it as you can get. Bianca was the doctor treating Frank following his liver transplant. She found out she was dying from cancer and had always lived a strict, sheltered life. Bianca knew how slim her chances at survival were, so she decided that she wanted to live a carefree life and Frank happened to be the one to show her how to live it.
Frank got her high on crack. She got him drunk on $10,000 whiskey and they had crazy, wild, promiscuous sex on the railroad tracks, although not in that exact order. Bianca also had a death wish, which explains why she didn’t stop when the train was coming straight for them. Or why she played Russian roulette with the gun Frank got her, and why she allowed the ocean to carry her away. You gotta give it to Frank. He really cared for her and it really showed. He was so depressed after she died, that he shamelessly humped her grave once. He even brought along her bra and panties to put on the site, just for the occasion.
I believe it goes without saying that Frank really puts the shame into Shameless. Although, all of the Gallaghers, Milkovichs, Balls and Fishers put up a great fight when it comes to promiscuous scenes that even put Shameless to Shame.
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