Polygamy is an illegal practice in which someone enters into marriage with multiple different people, but most of the time, it consists of a man with multiple wives. Obviously it is not legal in the United States to be married to more than one person at a time. The man is usually legally married to one person and then has secret ceremonies for all of his other wives, making those marriages non-existent in the eyes of the law. Polygamist families can grow to be very large because the more wives that the man has, the more children that they can have. The children are then used when they get older to create more children within the group and the girls are typically forced into marriage anywhere from the age of twelve to the age of sixteen.
A lot of bad things are rumored to go on in these communities, although it might be unfounded because the people inside of the community are not allowed to converse with anyone from the outside. The children of the community are usually not allowed to attend school, play video games, have access to the internet, or really do anything that normal kids would do. The women within the community usually have no say in what goes on, and they are made to believe that their sole purpose for being alive is to give birth and care for their husbands. Women appear to be treated particularly badly in these communities, and these Whisper confessions from ex-polygamists highlight that fact.
15 The Worst Polygamist Group In History
Unfortunately, this woman was in what is known to be the worst of the polygamist communities. And the fact that she mentioned Warren Jeffs really shows that she was in one of the worst possible places. This ex-polygamist Whisper user said that her brother was left sick, which unfortunately happens to far too many people because the FLDS, The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus of Latter-Day Saints, does not believe in modernized medicine. We have come across far too many stories where someone within FLDS passed away because they were not cared for medically or tended to properly. After the woman’s brother passed away, she ran away from that horrific polygamist community. She also goes on to say that the ringleader of that circus, Warren Jeffs, is behind bars. She also said that she misses her brother. I cannot even fathom what she is going through at this point. At least she was one of the lucky ones who was able to get away.
14 Unspeakable Things
This woman was brave for leaving, and her story gives us a small peek inside of what really goes on inside of these communities. Children are used to create more children and things are not as happy as they may seem to certain people, and things can get very out of hand. Hopefully this woman is able to learn how to cope with her feelings and stress that were a result of the things that happened to her. It is good to hear that she managed to get out, but she is going to need a lot of help and a lot of therapy in order to be okay again and to be able to start her life all over again. She is a very brave young woman and has a long road ahead of her, but I am sure that with a bit of help she will do just fine in her new life.
13 A Joke
The reason why the “stupid men” are so satisfied in these relationships, as this Whisper user has mentioned is because they have control over the women and the can have as many women as they want. The women of the group, however, have little say in anything and are confined to only one man; they are there strictly to have children and take care of the man and the house. So, you can see why some women there might be so miserable. Kudos to this woman for getting up enough nerve to leave, because she is worth so much more than what she was given credit for in that group. Some women in these groups are somewhat brainwashed. These women are led to believe that their only purpose on earth is to serve, and so in that way, I suppose that they could be considered slaves.
12 Marriage At A Very Young Age
It is a little heartbreaking that this girl had no other choice than to run away when her parents were trying to force her into a marriage with a man that was old enough to be her father. It is uplifting, however, to hear her say that she is now freer than she has ever been. Perhaps now she can live the life that she was meant to live, get an education, and eventually meet someone she can fall in love with at the proper age. This is more of an uplifting story of someone who broke free from that life, but it is also sad at the same time because the children who are born into it did not get to choose that life. Rather, they were forced into it, and not all of them know any better like this young woman did. Kids should be able to be kids and not have to worry about getting married or having more kids.
11 There Is No Room For Jealousy
My question to this woman would then be, "Why did you agree to enter into such a relationship if that is not what you truly wanted?" When entering into a polygamist community you know what you are getting yourself into. It is a serious commitment and you have to be okay with not having someone to go to sleep with every night. These type of relationships probably do cause some sort of jealousy if the man is paying more attention to one specific woman instead of dividing his time up equally amongst them, but sharing your husband is the whole idea of this way of life. Hopefully this woman is able to find a new husband outside of the polygamy community, one that will pay her more attention, one that is not into the idea of having more than one wife. Hopefully she also learned her lesson the first time around and doesn't try to enter back into that way of life, when it clearly is not something that she is into.
10 I Didn't Know
Unfortunately for this woman, the fact that she fell in love with an outsider and married him means that she will never be allowed to have contact with the only family that she has ever known, because once you leave the community and converse with an “outsider” you are shunned. Since she married the love of her life, she presumably got the opportunity to start a new family, and get to know his family as well, so, she is probably doing just fine without the people of her past. It is hard to see that you are in a cult when it is all that you have ever known, but this woman is now able to see that the life that she was living was not as normal as she once thought that it was, and now she is able to live a full and happy life that she truly deserves.
9 Motherly Instincts
This woman’s motherly instinct seemed to kick in fairly fast when a friend of her husband asked for her eleven-year-old daughter’s hand in marriage. Typically, in a polygamous setting, the women are basically passed around as gifts to the men. So the fact this woman had enough sense in her to pick up her kids and run was quite amazing. She was probably scared because she did not know what she would do after she left, or where she would go, but thankfully for her there are places where people like her can go with their children until they are able to get back up on their feet and live their lives on their own. These kids are probably much better off now. They are probably receiving an education and doing things that normal kids their ages should be doing and it is all thanks to their very brave mom.
8 Fourteen Siblings
Fourteen siblings, four moms, and a dad is a lot to take in and unfortunately this poor kid thought that the only option she had was to run away. Since she was still a kid it was probably rough at first, but she did eventually manage to find shelter and people who were willing to help her out. She was upset that she had to leave her brothers and sisters behind, but who knows if anyone even realized that she was gone, since there were so many people in that group. This girl got lucky, finding people that helped her after she ran away from the only home that she ever knew. Most kids that run away do not get that lucky, and they end up either living on the streets or taken in by drug dealers and or other disreputable people to do unspeakable things for shelter. Things could have been a lot worse for her.
7 Knowing Right From Wrong
The person that created this Whisper appears to have been raised in a polygamist home, which is sad because in polygamist communities, the women are there only to have children and the men have all the control, and the kids do not get to attend to school. She is right when she says that they should not involve kids, but unfortunately, polygamy would not be able to go on without kids being involved. They need kids in order to keep adding to their community, as sad as that is. Luckily for this person, they get out of that way of life and are probably much better off now. It is sad that the kids who are born into polygamy will never really know anything other than that way of life unless they manage to escape, or their parents leave. It is a good thing that her parents were smart enough to leave, however, and she should be thankful that they got out at all.
6 How Many Kids?!
This is another person who was born into polygamy, but broke free when they became old enough to make their own decisions. This post goes to show just how much breeding is done within a true polygamist community. 26 kids among four adults is a lot, and to think that those children were only created to make more children is just sickening. Obviously, in this situation the adults are outnumbered by the children, so how do they even keep an eye on them all? This may be a way of life that seems right for some people, but it is one of those things that not a lot of us will ever understand. Hopefully this person has a better life now and does not ever feel left out in society or like their only option is to go back to that way of life, because that does happen more often than one would think.
5 Feeling Trapped
From the replies to this Whisper, we were able to learn that this person left the community on their own, leaving behind their mothers and siblings. It is a sad thing to hear that all of those women felt trapped and like they could not leave, but they got themselves into it on their own; nobody forced them to become a polygamist. In the same way that they got themselves into that mess, they could band together and get themselves out. Seventeen children may be a lot to take care of, but among the four of them, I am sure that they could handle it. However, that might make it seem as though it is still a polygamist type of arrangement, just without the man. They could stick together and help one another out until they are all back on their feet and ready to be on their own with their kids.
4 No Games For The Kids
This guy was definitely right when he said that polygamist communities are too strict. They are so strict, in fact, that the children are not even allowed to go to school or have access to the internet. They are typically not allowed to interact with “outsiders” and if we had to guess why, we would say that this is probably so that these “outsiders” do not find out what is really going on inside of their community, which can sometimes be things that are against the law in the real world. True polygamists do everything that they can to keep what happens in their community within their community, so it is always interesting when someone like this boy is able to get out and tell us how things really were for him. Now that he is free, he is probably enjoying all the things that he could enjoy when he was considered a polygamist.
Good for this woman for leaving, but what she failed to realize was that this is typical polygamist behaviour. When you enter into a polygamist relationship you need to have an understanding that you will not be getting much time with your husband simply because he has so many other wives and children to be there for. This woman seems as if she was either ignorant to what being a polygamist meant or maybe she had a last minute change of heart. Whatever the case may be, she has left that life behind and now she can focus on finding herself a man who will be there for her and be able to dedicate more of his time to her. I am sure that all of this change will be confusing for her children at first, but in the long run it will actually be better for them that they are no longer subjected to that type of life.
2 Five Kids
This is another case of a woman not realizing what she had gotten herself into until it was too late. This certainly is something that she should have thought about before having children, but then again, once she entered into the relationship she no longer had a choice in whether she wanted kids. She should just be thankful that she was able to safely remove herself and all five of her children from the community without any issues. Hopefully she and her children are doing well and living healthy and normal lives, but it is sad that they will never get to see their father again because now that they have started to live outside of the community they are not allowed back in, no matter how much they may want to return. These kids are definitely better off now, but we just hope that they see it that way too and do not end up resenting their mother for taking them out of the only home that they ever knew.
1 Missing Them
It is easy to see why this person feels as though they sometimes miss the people from their community. Those people are the only people that they have ever known, a very large portion of their life was dedicated to those people, and they probably shared a lot of memories together. Whenever she feels that she is missing those people she needs to be able to remind herself of the reasons that she left in the first place. She needs to remind herself that she is better off now and that she will be able to do more and be free. She is lucky that she got out because not a lot of people do get out, even when they want to. Most of the women in those relationships feel trapped and are not brave enough to leave, like she was. Now she can lead a normal life, get a job, or an education, and do things that she would have never been able to do when she was a polygamist.