I hate to say that the beautiful celebs of our world can't win, but they can’t win. If they age without plastic surgery they become ‘old’ and ‘gross’. If they age with plastic surgery they are ‘fake’ and ‘plastic’. They must walk the line between fat and thin. They must dress somewhere between ‘frumpy’ and ‘trashy’. They have to be at all times classy, sexy, aloof, friendly, young, alluring, modest, confident – but not like they are entitled. Eager to please but not thirsty. Original but not too different.
Some fans want to see photos of their faves looking the way they want them to look – flawless. They do not want to see them looking like ordinary people. Ordinary people have bacne and unsightly cellulite and funny hair lines. Shut up Celebrity Fave! Fix yourself or get back in your box!
Other celebs make their living by being imperfect and flawed and they STILL continue to be photographed like they have a right to be seen. Not only do they get celebrity status while looking like Jennifer from Accounting, they flaunt that nasty business like people want to see it. Shut up, Unworthy Celebrity! Just…….Shut up!
Here are 15 celebs who dared to unleash un-retouched photographs of themselves on the internet and shamelessly kept on keeping on, despite the horror and agony turning fans into haters by the thousands.
Seriously, Celebs. Who do you think made you? Because what the fans giveth, the fans can taketh away like that!
15 Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian is very curvy and likes to show that off on Instagram, and more power to her. She is 36, she has had two children and she looks amazing, I don’t care why – she looks great.
So when Kim, who is a serial ‘breaker of the internet’ for photos of an obviously airbrushed derriere had less flattering photos surface, people were horrified.
While commenters (who were obviously richer, more successful celebrities, right? No? Oh just people on Facebook…..riiiiiiiight) compared her to a baboon and wanted to dismember her with a knife (?), 100,000 fans put their money where their mouths were and unfollowed her Instagram.
Lose-lose situation? Of course not, I’m sure that Kim’s Fan Exodus will be featured on a new episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and everyone will make more money from it. Any drama is good drama, right Kim!
In 2013 Beyoncé shot a series of pictures for L’Oréal. For some reason the un-retouched pics were leaked to the internet, and people were not happy.
Former fans, upset at the less than perfect skin (Beyoncé with acne? Was this the apocalypse?) that they could see on their fave, were Very Upset.
They were not happy that she was not “Flawless”. She had written a song saying she was – she should be at all times! One person tweeted ‘I’m sick’ after seeing the photos (how does this person cope with ordinary people at the mall?). “She isn’t worth it” others joked.
So she has a few pimples. As far as I can see, she is still stunning, talented and much cooler than you or me or any of those silly haters. Can they dance like Beyoncé? Only in their own heads!
13 Ronda Rousey
Ronda Rousey is an apologetically big, strong woman. Her body is a weapon that she uses to fight with and that is its first purpose. She has very little time for trying to be something that she isn’t.
When she was sent a photo by Jimmy Fallon after an interview, she posted the pic on her Instagram, not realizing that for some reason, someone had retouched it to make her look slimmer.
Let me tell you, Ronda was not happy. She was not happy that someone assumed she wasn’t proud of the way she looked because she looked strong and muscular.
Once she realized she posted the touched up and the original photos side by side so that everyone could see the difference, saying “I am extremely proud of every inch of my body”.
And she does not need any haters Photoshopping her into something ‘better’.
12 Lady Gaga
People have a habit of being angry with Lady Gaga for weird things that they probably ought not be angry about at all.
As an example, her Super Bowl performance saw people angry because she was not overtly political, she was too political, she had a not completely washboard-abs tummy, she had a tummy and was too ‘suggestive’ and of course she was blatantly a Satanic High Priestess.
When Gaga did an ad for Versace, the ad was created by the alternative method of taking the photos without makeup and then digitally manipulating the photos to look like she was wearing makeup.
So this woman dared to firstly not wear makeup, then have makeup Photoshopped on, then not apologize.
Oh the horror! She was not only being un-makeupped and a woman, but she was blatantly deceptively enhancing her below par looks in a fake and arrogant way. Sad!
11 Lena Dunham
Lena is exceptional at rubbing everyone the wrong way, and I think part of this is because she looks like your average woman on the street and she acts like she is worthy of fame. Which I totally get because I am exactly the same.
Anyway, this rather ordinary looking woman scored a Vogue cover shoot and was suitably excited – I mean it’s a pretty big deal. Some photoshopping happened that Lena was happy with. She looked great, while still looking like her. BUT……
Jezebel.com, the feminist arm of Gawker media decided that the world ought to see the un-retouched Lena Dunham and offered $10,000 to anyone who could supply the pics. Of course someone did and Jezebel displayed them in the name of feminism, which seemed misguided at best to feminists worldwide.
The winner here was… whoever got the money. The whole thing was a reasonably pointless exercise that just goes to show haters gonna hate no matter what.
When Madonna featured in an ad for Louis Vuitton in 2010, photos surfaced of a 51-year-old Material Girl that were un-retouched and natural, showing her skin and face in its mature beauty.
When faced with a virtually wrinkle-free middle-aged Madonna, the internet was not kind, calling her embarrassing and pathetic – “desperate” they desperately screeched. And attention seeking.
I'm not sure what her crime was exactly, beyond being 51 and advertising Louis Vuitton, but there is always a bit of anger towards older female celebs on the internet. Unless you are Helen Mirren, if you are over 50 you are a target of internet anger. Perhaps, like Madonna, you could be accused of the cardinal sin of attention seeking.
Still, Madonna’s career has spanned decades and I can bet you she is not losing any sleep over the cluckings of internet hens who never laid half as many golden eggs as she did.
9 Katy Perry
When Russell Brand posted a picture of his young then wife, Katy Perry, who had just woken up after a nap, on the internet, the photo quickly went viral.
Katy was un-makeupped with lank hair and shiny just-had-a-nap skin. She was pulling a bit of a silly face. She looked like Anywoman anywhere. She looked unglam.
Katy is one of those women who have beautiful, delicate features best accentuated by makeup. Without it, with a funny face and weird green lighting, she looks a little plain. Anyone would, it’s a terrible photo and not one that anyone would want their husband to post.
Yet the internet clapped its sweaty, hairy palms with glee and was delighted that pop princess Katy looked just like a regular girl. See the problem with celebrities is that they can be at a risk of thinking they are special and they should be brought back down to earth at any opportunity. Nothing worse than a multi-million-selling world famous singer thinking she is all that.
8 Britney Spears
In many cultures the year 2010 was known as the Year of the Un-Retouched Photos. In this year Britney Spears released un-retouched photos from an ad campaign for Candies that airbrushed her body significantly.
Britney showed how the airbrushed photos slimmed her waist and legs, took out the cellulite, removed a tattoo, lifted her butt and even took all the definition out of her feet. It turned Britney into doll Britney.
And yet STILL it wasn’t enough. Haters pounced on Britney for using flattering lighting, for wearing makeup and for still being Britney Spears Hot. Her ‘before’ pictures weren’t slumming it enough. She still looked too good to be a regular woman.
Come on people! She’s still Britney Spears! Do you want her to look like the Cynthia from Reception? She is still a professional dancer and fit as any professional dancer would be!
7 Megan Fox
Megan Fox is one of those people who is so good looking its hard to comprehend how she lives her life. Does she EVER look in the mirror and be like, ugh? Probably not.
Megan Fox is someone who could probably have gotten away with never having anything photoshopped and still be stunning and cause temperatures to rise all over the place.
However, she did have photoshopping done to some photos at her Transformers movie in 2007 and basically some haters got mad about the photoshopping in the first place, and other haters got mad at those Photoshoppers for being mad and making a big deal about nothing.
To put it plainly, the before photo was hot and the after photo was hot, and in the after photo she had better skin and whiter eyes.
This was back in 2007 mind you, when filters weren’t so much of a thing but now we all brighten our skin and correct lines with filters. Or is that just me?
6 Khloe Kardashian
When Khloe proudly showed off her new body in a shoot for Complex magazine, haters lined up to claim that Khloe had been Photoshopped.
Khloe clapped back by posting an un-retouched picture next to the finished product, which had only minimal changes and looked basically the same with different lighting.
However, the internet is a cold and determinedly negative place, and before you can say ‘Naihsadrak’ backwards, people were claiming that the un-Photoshopped ‘proof’ was Photoshopped. And that Khloe had surgically retouched her body. 'Cause she wasn’t even a Kardashian. And she stole her bottom from two women on the street.
Khloe was like ‘whatever’, drank some bottled water, ran her hands through her hair, ate a salad and got stared at by Kourtney in silence for a good five minutes of dead air time.
Can you tell I am a KUWTK fan? My inner monologue is Kourtney’s monotone.
5 Ariel Winter
Ariel Winter is hot and uses it to spread a good message – a message to love yourself.
Ariel underwent breast reduction surgery and yet still agreed to pose topless, scars visible, for Self magazine. Ariel said she is not ashamed of her body at all, and is really happy that she had the breast surgery that eased her back pain and made her feel less self-conscious.
We love Ariel, she is pretty, curvy, she seems sweet and down to earth as well. But some trolls just can’t keep their opinions in mama’s basement and will insist on calling her fat, saying she is ugly and telling her she is asking for 'it'.
Not to mention the obligatory ‘I don’t want to see those nasty scars! Keep them to yourself!’ from people who have deliberately looked.
Go home trolls. You wish you had Ariel’s life.
4 Stina Sanders
You may not have heard of Stina, but she is a London based model who is on Instagram.
Stina, who is a curious sort of a person, decided to spend a whole week (which in Instagram years is like a decade) posting pictures of herself being un-retouched and hashtag superreal.
Stina posted pictures of hair removal and sketchy pedi toenails rather than her usual glam pics and lost herself thousands of followers.
Of course the internet is the internet, and moves like the ocean, so once her story broke, she obviously got thousands of more followers to look at the photos she posts now – some insta-perfect and some insta-not.
She also managed to publish a book and make an app, and basically she is doing very well from her little experiment, which is great because she had struggled so much with anxiety that it was affecting her ability to hold down a job. Now she has a larger platform to talk about anxiety and mental health, which is always a good thing.
3 Keira Knightley
Keira Knightley is very lean and long limbed. She has an athletic body that you can see at its trim fittest in the football flick Bend It Like Beckham. She is tall and not very curvy which is FINE because she is meant to be like that and she is beautiful.
However, sick of everyone and their digital enhancing assistant giving her larger breasts than what she has, Keira tried to shut everyone down by posing topless for Interview magazine – with the agreement that the final picture was not to be retouched in any way.
Was everyone happy?
Don’t be silly. This is the internet. No one is happy here.
While some applauded her gumption and bravery, others complained that she looked like a runway model and there wasn’t any bravery in showing how waif-like and model-y you are, even in a post-booty world. Plus she is gorgeous and everyone appreciates the breast. Breast is best, right boys?
2 Bethenny Frankel
Everyone has seen those PETA ads that say ‘Fur? I’d rather go naked’ and then the naked celeb looks at you like you had better never wear fur or they will cut you. Then they wear fur a year later.
Anyway, Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel went naked on one of these ads for PETA and got a bit of the old Photoshoparoo.
Bethenny then got slammed by Also Real Housewife Teresa Giudice for saying that ‘it doesn’t look like there has been any airbrushing’.
Fans soon jumped in, desperate to add their own opinions about airbrushing to the already steaming pot, and in an effort to clear things up Bethenny herself released the un-retouched photos to show that dammit! SHE WAS NOT VERY MUCH AIRBRUSHED.
But I don’t think she really was overly airbrushed, just sort of smoothed out. She certainly wasn’t so changed as to be unrecognizable.
1 Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber, a gorgeous young man whose name I cannot spell without looking it up, did a rather famous Calvin Klein photo shoot, in which he allegedly got pumped up a little.
He allegedly got pumped up a little in the arms, pumped up a little in the chest and the booty AND the front pants department. Women seemed to like this and there was much commentary on the state of his front pants department, not much of it being safe for work.
When pics claiming to be un-retouched photos of the Beebs and the evidence that he was packing a little less heat than he had seemed to be packing, emerged, fans went wild defending their fave.
But haters will be haters and SNL’s Kate McKinnon got in on the ribbing, dressing up as Bieber with a big ol’ panty bulge and mocking the tone of the CK advert.
So there you go. Some people get trolls on the internet, others get laughed at by SNL. I guess that’s the hierarchy right there.
You win, Justin. Your allegedly Photoshopped crotch won the dubious prize of being mocked on Saturday Night Live by Kate McKinnon. Who, I might add, looks pretty good in those Calvins.