For anyone that’s ever had a girlfriend, I think that you’ve found out that there are a few things that you really just shouldn’t say. Don’t call her fat; call her beautiful. Don’t tell her that her food tastes like garbage; tell her pizza sounds good. This isn’t lying, it’s truthful. There’s a difference between not being honest and not hurting the other person. Do you really want her to tell you that you have a pot-belly? You probably know. So, wouldn’t it be better for her to tell you that she’s still attracted to you, that you are the most handsome, and sexiest man that she’s ever laid eyes upon? Maybe it’s an exaggeration, but it’s this type of exaggeration that keeps a good relationship. It’s not maintenance, but it’s sustenance. It is food for the soul. Just as there are things that are good to hear, there are things that really hurt, true or not. Do you really want her to tell you how hot Channing Tatum is?
These aren’t bad because they have bad intentions behind them. They aren’t bad because the girl is a crazy, insecure mess. They are just not ideal for a person to hear. So, to save you a lot of heartache, heed these words and save them for a rainy day. Actually, save them for that time when you have to sit down with your son and explain to him why he should never say them. Here are fifteen things you should never say to your girlfriend!
15 "Is It That Time Of The Month?"
This has to be the most obvious phrase that is an absolute no-no to anyone who has ever talked to a woman before. Whether it is that time or not, the worst thing you can say to a woman is, “Is it that time of the month?” Trust me, if you ask her, she will say no, glare, and you will never be sorrier.
So instead of this, say, “Here, have some chocolate and let's watch some Netflix.” I guarantee you, she will love you more than ever. If you have a really close relationship, you may speak, but don’t bring up PMS. It would be better to ask her if there’s anything you should do, or can do. Or, you can just sit there in the corner of the room, avoid speaking, and throw chocolate from afar. As long as you aren't being a jerk, or saying anything on this list, you’ll be fine.
14 "Calm Down"
Ha! Calm down? Me? Calm down? How about you not do what you just did? This isn’t a big deal? Now you don’t want drama? Seriously, guys, don’t tell her to calm down like she’s a child or some big monster out to get you. If she’s upset, you probably did something to make her upset. If it wasn’t with bad intentions, she will eventually find that out. But in the heat of the moment, telling her to calm down will do absolutely nothing but fuel the fire.
This might go both ways. I don’t think anyone wants to have that attitude spat out at them, because usually when these words are said, hands are put up and eyes are widened. Just remember this: she’s not a dog, she’s not a child, and she’s not a monster. She’s your adult girlfriend. Everyone gets upset sometimes, and that’s okay. If she has a temper, then try a different approach.
13 "You Wouldn’t Understand"
Please. If there’s one thing that your girl wants in your relationship it's communication and understanding. So telling her that she wouldn’t understand something is like taking a dull, rusty knife to her gut, then twisting it around until it breaks off. It’s going to get infected and she’s going to get tetanus.
The point is, she really does want to understand you, no matter how crazy she acts. But when you would rather be alone, talk to one of the guys, or do anything other than tell her what you are feeling, it hurts. Why? Because in her mind, you are a team. You should open up to each other, and tell each other your problems. She doesn’t want you to think she’s too dumb or selfish to understand you. If so, why even be together? If she’s always saying this to you, then let her know it hurts, rather than telling her she wouldn’t understand why you have a problem.
12 "My Ex Was– "
Oh, honey, please no. The last thing you want to do is compare your current girlfriend to your ex, in any way whatsoever. This can be in regards to the bedroom, the kitchen, or the car. Don't even say, “My ex was a great driver.” The only time you should talk about your ex without her asking is to tell your new girl that your ex is nothing compared to her. For example, saying, “My ex always wore these killer heels” is not okay. Saying, “Man, you are way better with cars than my ex was” is the only acceptable way to go about this.
Even with this, though, it's risky. It’s much safer to not mention your ex unless absolutely necessary. I mean, do you really want her to tell you about her ex’s abs, salary, or cooking skills? No! You don’t want to know. It hurts, and with good reason. You are with her now. Focus on that. Who cares that your ex could run marathons and your current girl likes chicken nuggets too much. It’s her, and you chose her.
11 "She’s Pretty"
Abort! Abort! I repeat, abort mission! Never, ever say that another girl is pretty, attractive, sexy, or hot. Your girlfriend is the only girl you see… period. This is how it works: You are with her, you chose her. Honesty is what makes relationships work, but you should also primarily look at her and think, “Wow! She’s beautiful” and tell her often. Do not tell her what you think about any other girl physically, whether she is a celeb or not.
You may think this is insane, but think about it. In the world today, there is such a needless competition between females. It’s not our fault, it just is that way. So rather than continue comparing her, let her know you only have eyes for her and your relationship will blossom. She won’t believe it, but that’s not the point. Honestly, some girls are okay with your liking other girls’ photos too, but just to be safe, show some respect and have a conversation about looking at other men/women.
10 "Is That What You’re Wearing?"
Want to send her from 99 to 0? Tell her you don’t approve of her outfit. To you, you hear, “You ready to go?” But she hears, “Oh my, I can’t be seen with you like that!” She probably worked hours picking out an outfit you would be proud to be seen with. So for you to just shoot that in the heart is not very nice.
Tell her she looks good, tell her you are proud of her, and tell her something nice about how she looks. If you actually don’t like her outfit, who cares? It’s still her body. Instead of pointing out to her when she wears something you don’t like, tell her when she is wearing something you do like. She will definitely wear it again, and it’s a win-win situation! However, if she asks for your opinion, don’t tell her she looks bad. Tell her she looks good, but you REALLY like that blue dress she has. *Winks* I gotcha!
9 "I Ate The Last Of It"
This one is silly, but women often think about food. Like… a lot. They will yearn all day for that piece of pizza or cake that’s sitting in the fridge. In fact, it will sometimes be what gets her through the day at work. So to come home and see that the food she wanted is gone will kill her, and make her angry at whoever is responsible. Here’s a tip that both of you should follow (two, actually): Never eat the last of something without consulting the other, and make sure to buy more of something if you eat it all. You have no idea how many couples fight over who buys groceries and who is eating too much of the good stuff.
If you buy Pop-Tarts and Corn Flakes to share, you better not be eating Pop-Tarts every day. Instead, suggest that you will buy the Pop-Tarts. End of story. This will solve so many problems in the future.
8 "I Hope You Like This Appliance I Got You"
Red flag! Never buy your girl, or anyone else you care about, an appliance as a gift. Like seriously, who wants a dishwasher for Christmas? That’s something you’ll both use. If it’s something you’ll both use, it’s not a gift. Plus, it’s something that involves working. Maybe it will involve less work if she always washes the dishes, but still. Go get one together; don’t buy it as a gift.
Same goes for TVs or furniture that you’ll both get the same use out of. It’s a selfish gift, so don’t buy it. Flowers are okay if that’s what she’s into. Candy? Great! Clothes? If you know her size and style, go for it, but gift cards are better. You know what? If you’ve been together for a while, you should know each other well enough to know what she would like to receive as a gift. If not, talk about it! Duh! She will absolutely appreciate the fact that you want to know.
7 "You Always Look The Same"
No, she doesn’t. Telling her she looks the same with makeup and without makeup is a bad move. Telling her that heels look the same as tennis shoes is not good. She doesn’t always look the same, just ask her girl friends. Telling her that she does makes her not want to try. Like, why spend all this money and time to make myself feel better about myself if it doesn’t work? You may be trying to tell her she looks beautiful, but that’s not what she hears.
You may say, “You always look beautiful! You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.” But telling her she looks the same no matter what will make her feel frumpy and lacking in the area of the all-powerful female “dressing-up.” You have failed as a woman if you always look the same. Like, boy, I do not look like I do on this date I spent three hours preparing for as I do when I wake up on Saturday morning!
6 "I Thought You Were On A Diet"
You sit down to eat a nice dinner together. You order your double bacon cheese burger, large coke, and loaded fries. She says she’ll have the same… only add cheesy bites. You say those hated words, “I thought you were on a diet.” Her neck twitches and she bends the fork in her hand. You have really messed up. Women and diets are a feeble thing. We want the body of that woman that you liked the picture of on Instagram, but we also really like cheesy bites. We know this; we know we were on a diet last week and now we’re not… as of five minutes ago. Bringing it up really only angers the hungry beast who is only treating herself cause she worked hard all week.
What she hears is both, “You’re such a failure” and “You need to lose a few pounds there, chubby.” Those are very mean words for a boyfriend to say and you just said them. Besides, if you get a burger, then so does she!
5 "Make Me A Sandwich"
I know, this is outdated, but it’s so true! To think that the woman’s job is to make your food is ridiculous. If you want to trigger her, then say this. Only add “woman” to the end. This gets them every time. Oh yes, do you want to sleep on the couch? Make sure you are watching the game or playing a video game when you say it. Wowzer! That’s going to make her angry, and you won’t like her when she’s angry. She can be the sweetest lady in the world, but she can also go to that place that makes you say, “Calm down.”
This phrase can only be said in jest when you are both comfortable enough to know when the other is joking. And if this is the case, be prepared for the “hurtful” thing she says back. Because if this is the type of relationship you have, beware; she isn’t afraid to play around even when it hurts.
4 "The House Is A Mess"
So? Clean it. Welcome to the 21st century, where men clean and "women's" work. The only exception here is when you live together and you work 40+ hours a week, and she has no job. Then, you may decide that it is her job to keep the house clean. But only if you decide this together. Otherwise, it’s 50/50. And you pick up the slack just as she does. But even if it’s her job to do the housework, that in no way gives you the right to be disrespectful. You don’t know how her day went or if she had the opportunity to take out the trash or not. You really probably don’t even care if the house is clean or not. Just an assumption, but I am guessing it’s accurate.
So shut it and maybe rather than bring up the house, ask her how she is. Tell her about your day. The house can wait. If the messiness stresses you, then clean it! Or you can take the load off her in another way and she’ll do it.
3 "That’s Not How My Mom Does It"
Well, you poor baby. You moved out of mama’s house and your new girlfriend didn’t fill her place. This is all too common. Men want food cooked the way their mom cooked, rooms cleaned the way their mom cleans, phones answered the way their mom does. It’s completely ridiculous and women absolutely hate it when you compare them to your mom. She’s not your mom! She is in it to be your girlfriend and your equal.
It’s okay to want a meal from your childhood. If you feel like it, suggest that she get a recipe from your mom. If she tries it and it’s not the same, then accept it and kiss her cheek, telling her it was good. She put forth the effort to do something for you. That is always good enough. Telling her your mom does something better than her will only make her jealous of the relationship you have with your mother. That is a dark path to lead her down.
2 "Just Let Me Do It"
“You’re not good enough,” is what she hears here, whether she’s screwing in a light bulb, cooking rice, or trying to beat the final boss in a video game. Let her have some independence. Offering to help is nice, but taking control is not. As long as you have a good heart, it should be okay. But if you want her to hurry, want the job done better, or anything other than what you think will make her a happier, better person, it’s just going to make her feel bad. She should never have to feel that way.
She wants your help when she asks for it or when she needs it. But other times, she wants independence. Maybe you’re stronger. If you are, she knows it. Maybe you are better at math, but let her at least try first. We know you hate it when we do this to you, so maybe just don’t do it to us either.
1 "If You Really Loved Me…"
This one happens a ton in new relationships. “If you really loved me, you’d sleep with me.” It is a game that primarily men play to get women to do what they want. They use it to get women to sleep with them, buy them things, watch what they want to watch, and so much more. They do it do play with women’s emotions and it needs to stop. Some other things are innocent, but this line is never innocent, and we know it. If you really loved her you wouldn’t keep trying to make her question her own love for you. You know she loves you, and she doesn’t have to prove it.
If you don’t know, then tell her. Don't use this line to get something out of her physically. Do it to help your relationship grow stronger. A good relationship is honest and open, without ulterior motives. So if you feel the need to play games, then you need to rethink whether this is the right relationship for you.