Alright, here is a show that I have never understood. Cards on the table, I think that Botched is one of the most ridiculous reality tv shows to ever appear on the screen. I have to say that at least the procedures and the stories they deal with are actually real, for the most part. So, at least as far as reality tv goes, this show is probably the closest to the real deal.
That being said, the premise of the show is still ridiculous. Basically, Botched exists just so we have a more accessible version of the carnival freak shows of old. I’m sure that’s why. But the patients on the show don’t see it that way at all. They would have you believe that someone has messed up the work that was meant to make them closer to their perfect selves.
Realistically though, these patients are often very empty and sad people. That or they’ve messed up their bodies so much that the doctors on the show won’t even touch them! Some of them so badly want to look like their celebrity idols that they completely destroy their faces and bodies…and they end up looking nothing like their idols anyway. Here are some things they don’t want you to know…
15. Sorry Buddy, You Don’t Look Like Bieber
Tobias Strebel, AKA Toby Sheldon. This guy was one of the most popular guests on Botched. Why? Because he spent all of his money and his time trying to look like Justin Bieber. Now, I’m sorry (not really) but I’m floored that anyone could think that was a good idea to begin with. This guy had a girlfriend who definitely was not into the whole Bieber thing. He even says she wasn’t a “Belieber”. It’s sad that this guy died the year after he was on the show. He apparently ended up overdosing on drugs. But when he was alive, he spent over 100 grand on enhancements to look more and more like the Biebs. And I think this might be the worst part of all for him…he said: the “only way I’ll ever stop looking like Justin Bieber is when I die.”…but he never looked like Bieber to begin with.
14. Nicole Sanders Was A Huge Diva!
“I lost everything…I’m very distraught with everything that’s gone down with the TV show Botched.” Nicole Sanders allegedly ended up homeless because of all the time she dedicated to the show. She was filming with them for two months and neglected to pay her rent for some reason. Maybe she should have spent less time being a diva and getting one procedure after the other. True, she’s a transgender woman, but that doesn’t require as many enhancements as she’s paid for. Either way, she spent almost all of her time demanding anything she could from the producers. he was always around and took on the role of the pain-in-the-ass diva. “She became more of a diva and a liability from the beginning of her involvement and was very demanding. I am sure she was cut due to how she acted and treated people on the show, to be honest,” a source on the show said.
13. Any Doctor Can Do These Procedures…Right?
Rhonda, who was a very bad Dolly Parton impersonator, appeared on Botched because she had a messed up gastric bypass where over 150 pounds were removed from her. She ended up with breasts at her bellybutton. I can’t imagine that sort of sag. Either way, she managed to get out a scary fact that no doctor wants you to know. “Any doctor is allowed to do this kind of surgery in a center if they can get privileges. You can be a radiologist, you can be a rheumatologist, and do it and it’s legal — it’s just not a good idea,” said one of the doctors on the show. Clearly, she was dumb enough to get a procedure done by someone who didn’t know what they were doing. On top of that, something she wouldn’t want you to know…she really doesn’t look like Dolly Parton (even though Parton also got some work done too).
12. Nicole Sanders Gets The Boot From The Show
This is what happens when you’re a total b*tch. That might sound mean to say, but it was the general agreement between producers on the set of Botched. “Nicole is someone who has already had numerous procedures and was very difficult to work with on the show,” said a source on the set. Nicole Sanders would like you to believe that she’s been hard done by though. “Dr. Dubrow fixed my breasts and I’m grateful for that but in the midst of the whole TV show I lost my apartment.” Give me a break. She lost her apartment because she spent so much money trying to look like something she isn’t. She lost her job on Botched because she spent the whole time acting like a total diva (and I don’t mean like the girls on WWE). “The surgeries cost me a lot, but thankfully I had some rich boyfriends who helped me out along the way.” That seems like a diva to me.
11. Mama June Was Just Too Big For Work…
Of course, they would add some reality tv stars to the mix on this show. Why not cross-promote? Either way, you may know Mama June from her incredibly stupid show Honey Boo Boo. She was a fairly gigantic woman who had a temper that was just as big. She went out of her way to lose a ton of weight as you can see from above, but she wanted to get a tummy tuck following a near-fatal C-section with her child star daughter. She lost 150 pounds before going to the doctors on Botched to get this work done. But it turns out that, in spite of all of the weight she did lose (pretty damn quickly), she still needed to lose an additional 75 pounds in order to get the work done. It’s got to suck when you finally are trying to get your life together and then you end up still being a little too large for life. She does look a lot healthier though!
10. Sorry…You Don’t Look Like Jessica Rabbit
Alright, for starters, this girl’s name is Pixee Fox. I just can’t take that name seriously at all. Secondly, Fox wanted nothing more than to look just like Jessica Rabbit. Honey, I’m sorry but you definitely do not look like her. Fox was 25 when she appeared on Botched and had already spent nearly 150 grand on trying to look like one of the most famous and alluring cartoon characters to have ever existed. Her justification for this was that “there are six billion people on the planet. Why should everyone look the same? It’s boring.” Two things she has wrong there besides who or what she looks like. There are over 7 billion people on the planet (even when her episode was shot). Oh, and the only people who actually look the same, for the most part, are identical twins.
9. Don’t Try Looking Like Kim K…You Fail
“Any attention is good attention,” said Jordan James Parke…now this guy has definitely got some issues. A few screws loose. What is his ultimate dream? Looking just like Kim Kardashian. First of all, I have no idea why anyone would want to look like Kim K. Least of all a guy who, for obvious reasons, will never quite look exactly like her without some serious work (and I mean changing some pretty personal things). The thing Parke doesn’t want you to know and hopes you’ll never think? Obviously, the fact that he doesn’t look a thing like Kim K. What does he look like? Well, it looks like he’s wearing those fake joke lips you can buy at some joke shops. And it also looks like he used a permanent marker to put on his eyebrows.
8. Cement In Your Face Can Mess You Up! Who Knew!?
Rajee Narinesingh is a very bizarre woman. Why? Not because she decided to get fillers in her face (a lot of strange and silly people go out of their way to do that). Not because she decided to appear on Botched (though everyone on that show is pretty ridiculous). No, it’s because she decided to go to the black market to get her filler injections. And what did they use to fill up her face? They actually used cement and tire sealant. That’s insane! What does Rajee not want you to know? Well, I think all of that. But, in addition to that, when she appeared on Botched the first time, the doctors turned her away because she was so stupid as to get cement put in her face! They did ask her back on the show in another season and they did manage to remove a good amount of the cement…but there are still spots they couldn’t remove. I hope no one ever hits her face. They’ll both be hurt pretty badly.
7. Bunny Blaze Really Hit Comic Proportions
Yeah…her name is Bunny Blaze. Sometimes I wonder what it is that makes people want to not be taken seriously their whole lives. Either way, this girl started getting work done on her body when she was only 18 years old. That’s crazy. She was probably the youngest person to appear on Botched at only 20 years old. Anyway, she decided that she wanted to amp up her bra size so that she could fully look like comic book characters. She decided that her chest “[was] not up to comic proportions.” I’m sorry Bunny, but I have to tell you that your chest is definitely up to comic proportions. In more ways than one. First of all, it’s already bigger than most comic book characters. And secondly, it’s actually just laughable. Especially since she looks like Grimace’s girlfriend with that purple skin.
6. Lacey Wildd Is Made Of Pig Skin
Lacey Wildd is a Guinness Record winner. For what? Obviously, the size of her breasts they were a size LLL when she won the record, but she went on to Botched to get them upgraded to a size QQQ. That is just obscene. I can’t even fathom how she breathes or how she stays upright. Either way, when the doctors on the show asked her about any issues she’s had, she mentioned that her breasts had ripped before and they had to be reinforced. With what? That’s right, she got wrapped in pigskin in order to support her massive balloons. She had an internal bra made of the bovine skin. And in addition to that, she also got pigskin added to her stomach and the “corset” area of her body. She has got essentially another near 50% more skin on her body now and it’s all made of pig.
5. Every Guest Is Pretty Hollow…Besides All The Filler
If you like to watch Botched then you’re a pretty ridiculous person. But if you are a guest on Botched then it’s almost certain that you are an incredibly shallow and/or hollow person. If there’s one thing that is noticeable in every episode with every patient is that they only care about what’s going on on the outside of their body. They hardly ever consider the fact that what they’ve been doing to their bodies is very unhealthy. Very unhealthy! These people are more concerned with pulling their ribs out to look like Barbie, or filling their lips till they look freakishly cartoonish. They’d love you to think that they are beautiful and fully content human beings with normal lives. No one who spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on this garbage is normal. And no one of these people, with all of their procedures, is beautiful…at least not on the outside.
4. The Shannon Twins Have Drinking Problems
I’m sure this is something they don’t want you to know at all. Maybe they just want you to think that they’re fun party girls, but they went a little too far while on the set of Botched. These two ladies have spent their lives working on each other to look exactly the same right down to the tiny details. They appeared on the show for a large detail though, wanting to get their breasts worked on to be better matched. They are so obsessed with being the exact same they even share a boyfriend…I’m sure you think that is one lucky guy. But he has to deal with two booze hounds instead of one now. These two former Playmates decided it would be a good idea to get a little tipsy before taking some Percocet before getting their work done. They were then involved in a DUI incident when they crashed their car on their way to get their downstairs pierced.
3. Patients Get Paid…Sort of
So, here’s the thing. Patients who appear on the show to get all of their work done to make them more beautiful or to fix their lips, breasts, rips, cheeks or whatever else they’ve f*cked up in their lives do actually get paid. They make an appearance on a reality tv show. Of course, they get paid. However, they definitely don’t all get paid equally. Why is this? Because each and every patient on the show has to pay out for the particular procedures. Many, if not most, of the patients on the show have to dip into their pay or use the entire pay altogether just to afford the work that they’re getting done. Of course, there are some patients who luck out (in a way) because the doctors turn them away and don’t do surgery. But they still get paid for showing up. No wonder so many of them go broke, lose their homes, or kill themselves.
2. Star Implants Are Stupid…No Matter What
This is the thing about shape implants…they are entirely stupid! Especially if you’re letting a tattoo artist do them. Why is that? Because tattoo artists aren’t meant to be doing surgery on people! At least this patient, Ashlea, admitted that she was an idiot. But what does she not want people to know particularly? Exactly that. That she was stupid enough to let her tattoo artist cut her open, and slip in two star-shaped implants on her ribs. What the hell could be going through someone’s mind to allow that? I’d be amazed if she doesn’t have some sort of disease from that operation. She could have come in and said that she just wanted the stars removed because she decided it was a dumb choice, but boy is it ever dumb to have a tattoo artist do something like that.
1. Patients Love Kylie Jenner’s Lips
This is apparently the number-one-requested procedure from almost all patients, even if they’re still trying to look like Barbie, or Ken, or Bieber, or Kardashian. What do they want? They want lips just like Kylie Jenner. Sure, they’re not going to want to admit that they all want to look the same as some celebrity when all they want to do is be special and different. But the truth of the matter is that they all just want to look as much as they can like someone who is famous. Unfortunately, with comical wax-looking lips there is little chance that any of these ridiculous patients will ever really make it to the level of someone who was born into stardom who doesn’t care about these obsessive people at all. Only the people who watch Botched even remotely care. That’s maybe the saddest truth for these patients.
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