It's no secret that women can be hard to work out. Yes, men can too - but women seem to have a particularly well-honed set of skills when it comes to sending mixed messages. One minute, you could be right on track thinking that you've found the love of your life; the next, she could be screaming profanities at you for failing to buy the right color roses. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but what if you can't even make it to that point? Is the girl you're pursuing confusing the hell out of you? Are you sick of asking your friends for advice just to hear them say 'Maybe she's busy', or thinking up some other excuse for her behavior? Look no further, we're pretty sure we've cracked it.
The fact is, she's probably just not that into you but just loves the attention. Who doesn't like a little bit of flattery every now and then to make them feel wonderful? They may not necessarily mean to string you along...but it sort of happens anyway. It's time to sit back, and open your mind to the possibility that it might be time to cut this one loose and find yourself a girl that's going to be ride or die, not text then fly!
Let's take a look at 15 Things She'll Do If She's Not Into You But Loves The Attention.
15 TEXT YOU BACK...BUT NOT UNTIL MUCH LATER
There's nothing a girl likes more than a guy texting her, but when it's the wrong guy, it just doesn't have the same effect. If she really likes you, there's no way that she'll leave you hanging. Believe me, I speak for all of womankind when I say that we will gladly stay up until the early hours of the morning chatting to someone we really like, even though we have to get up at 6am. On the flip side, if we're not that into you but still like a little love to keep us entertained every now and then, then we'll gladly leave you hanging a little bit until we're good and ready to reply. Let's be honest, you've done the same haven't you? If it's a few hours before she hits you back then she's not feeling it.
14 SAY YES TO A DATE, BUT CANCEL AT THE LAST MINUTE
It's not that we want to be mean, or waste your time. If she cancels on you at the last minute, you're looking at three options as to why. 1) There really is some sort of emergency with her neighbour's cat that she urgently needs to help with. 2) She felt too bad to say no when you asked because she didn't want to hurt your feelings, or 3) It seemed like a good idea at the time but she's since had a change of heart and again, didn't want to disappoint you so took the cowards way out. Hey, I'm not saying that sometimes there are genuine reasons why someone cancels on you. Of course, life gets in the way sometimes. You'll have to use your intuition on this one.
13 SEND YOU SELFIES
We just love a selfie or five. Who doesn't? We are the selfie generation after all, it would be rude not to. With the rise of apps like Snapchat, it's so easy to send a picture of yourself. Sending a selfie is the ultimate cry for attention though, especially if it's captioned with 'I feel awful today' or something just as thirsty. That's called fishing for compliments, and of course, you'll oblige with 'You look amazing babe.' It's just one of those things, like the change of the seasons - inevitable. Next time she leaves you hanging but sends you a selfie out of the blue, do yourself a favor and don't respond. It will get her thinking.
12 COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING
Complaining about everything is one of the best ways to get attention. It could be about her work, it could be about her family life, it could be about her friends. Anything goes, but you may find the only time she ever really replies consistently is when she's telling you about some ongoing drama or other issue in her life. If it's about her more than it's about you then alarm bells should start to ring. Not only is she using you as a doormat to dump her problems on, but she really couldn't be less interested in how you're doing. This might be a time to reevaluate why you're trying to date this girl.
11 FLIRT JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU TALKING
Flirting can mean a variety of things. A picture where she accidentally shows you a little too much leg or says seemingly innocent things like, 'It's so hot.' There are way too many things that she could be doing to keep you dangling, still far away but just close enough to make you think you still stand a chance. I bet you, if you look back through your text messages with this girl, you'll immediately wonder why you never noticed it yourself before. Luckily for you, that's what we're here for. Flirting is fun, but only if both parties are fully invested.
10 BE HOT AND COLD
Does it seem like one day she can't get enough of you, then the next she's disappeared off the face of the earth? Blowing hot and cold is one of the key characteristics of an attention seeker and the worst thing is, they probably don't have a clue that they're doing it themselves. It's just one day they're feeling chatty, the next they're not and it's as simple as that. I hate to break it to you, but you're most likely not the number one priority here. If they've got anything vaguely more exciting to do or anyone else that they feel like they have more of a spark with and is worth talking to, then you're going to fall to the bottom of the pile.
9 MENTION ANOTHER GUY
You know sometimes they might just casually drops it in there that they had a really good time with Paul, who they casually bumped into while out shopping yesterday. Chances are that they won't even tell you who it is at first, but just drop the name into the conversation like it's nothing. That drives you crazy, right? Immediately you want to know who this guy is, and if you don't ask you'll be wondering forever. But whatever you do - don't ask. That's exactly what she wants and you may as well just scream 'I'm jealous!'. Don't give her what she wants, you'll be playing directly into her hands.
8 REPLY WITH THE BARE MINIMUM
Ever text a girl a message asking her about her day, shooting off a decently sized paragraph only to get an 'okay, thanks' back in return? Or, sent a funny little anecdote just to get back a standard 'Lol'? There's almost nothing worse than putting all of your energy into sending your crush a considerate text and getting an icicle back in return. If she's sending you one line answers, or even one word answers, then she's subtly trying to give you the hint that she's not interested. But why wouldn't she just tell you that, you ask? Well, women are complex creatures so your guess is as good as ours.
7 GO OUT WITH YOU BUT MAKE AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE EARLY
She actually agreed to go out with you. You've fixed a time and a date. You pick her up from her place and she is looking amazing - like always. It's taken you a while to think of the right restaurant, the right movie to watch after and you've picked the best spot for drinks that has just the right level of ambiance that might just help you seal the deal. It all seems to be going well when it barely hits 9pm and all of a sudden she gets a mystery text on her phone and she has to leave early, ruining your dream evening forever. Ever the gentleman, you drop her home and wonder what on earth went wrong. Chances are she always knew she was going to duck out at some point.
6 REPLY WITH 'AWW THANKS' WHEN YOU CALL HER CUTE
Calling her cute is a nice thing to do, right? It's sweet to give girls compliments and you know what? Your mama raised you well if that's how you talk to women. If you send her little notes like that and all you get back is a 'aw, thanks', then she's gladly taking your praise but not really buying into it when you're talking, i.e. not saying anything back to you. Note the extreme absence of 'Ah, you too' and wink emojis. It's not happening here. Nothing to see but just a one sided conversation. Move along. Next!
5 CALLING YOU WHEN SHE'S WITH HER FRIENDS
'Ah, that's so cute!' I hear you cry. 'She wants to call me even when she's out with her friends. She must really like me if she's doing that.' Oh, you poor unfortunate soul. The likelihood is that she's calling you because they're all talking about guys and she's told them about this dude that follows her around like a puppy dog. It might be a sweet gesture, or it may be that she just wants to be included and not feel like the only one of her girlfriends that doesn't have some male attention. Hate to break it to you, but she doesn't need to really like you to pick up the phone. What you really need to ask yourself is why doesn't she call you when she's alone?
4 TAG YOU IN FUNNY POSTS
We've established that she's not that into you, but she's not entirely ready to let you go either, so she may not reply to your texts but tag you in funny posts on Facebook or other social media. Like a fool, you'll probably react with a laugh and even reply to the tag with some sort of avante garde one liner, but the odds are she won't reply. It's just another one of those ways that she can keep you under the thumb with just enough contact to make it seem like a possibility to you, before she eventually forgets you even existed. Sorry bro. Better luck next time. Although, we could be wrong. Stranger things have happened.
3 TALK ABOUT HER EX
It probably won't be giant and long paragraphs about why things ended, more so just a little mention here or there about men she's previously dated. If she's really trying to twist the knife and make you green with envy, then she may mention something about a prior date when you mention a place, like 'Oh, last time I went there it was with my ex.' You're backed into a corner so you can't really say anything, can you? She's not your girlfriend. You have zero rights here to be jealous or say anything, so she has left you helpless on this one. At least you don't have to bump into them at oh say, an award ceremony or something.
2 ASK YOU WHAT YOU THINK OF HER OUTFIT
It sounds stereotypical, and it is. But, the majority of women do care about what they wear - and if they can't find the right outfit, it can set off a pretty horrendous mood. What better way than to check if the outfit they're wearing is okay than to text a guy they know, and who is into them, a quick pic? It's unlikely that he's going to reply with 'No, that's awful', isn't it? So, in this case she's just after an ego boost to start the day with a little self-esteem - at your expense of course. The down side is, you might think that she really values your opinion or wants to look her best so that you'll think she's cute. She does want you to think she's cute, but don't get your hopes up. It's not for you.
1 EVENTUALLY GHOST YOU
And now we come to our final entry, the ultimate sign that all she's been doing is lapping up the attention, with no consideration for you. After all of this, communication may stop altogether. It may be gradual, a petering out of responses until your 'Hey, how are you?' gets nothing much in return at all, or just straight silence. That's when you really know that all of your compliments, half-dates, meaningful texts and everything else in between has been for absolutely zero payoff. If you're lucky, you'll reach this conclusion on your own and not have to be chopped off by her like a rotting limb. If you're not, she may string you along for months before dropping you forever. Better luck next time!