A woman who marries into the mob’s job is to cook, clean, care for the children, and protect her family’s secrets. Most women do not know what they are getting themselves into when they marry a man involved in organized crime. These women support men who traffic drugs, gamble, intimidate and hurt people for a living. Although they may have fallen for the glamorous life the mafia presents itself to be, they ended up getting stuck in a dangerous situation for the rest of their life.
Mob wives certainly do not get the respect they deserve from their own husbands or outsiders who fail to realize the difficult positions they are constantly put in. These women have to live in silence, keeping their mouths shut about the incriminating activities they see on a daily basis and remain completely loyal to the men who they signed their lives over to. All the while, it is completely normal for men in the mob to have affairs and cheat on their wives on a regular basis.
Mob wives constantly live in fear of their husbands being arrested, or worse. Often times they are left to fend for themselves and feed their children. These women could end up without a husband and on welfare at any moment. If her husband is lost, she will lose her entire identity within the mob. A widow cannot even remarry without meeting certain qualifications set by the clan. Here are 15 disturbing rules mob wives have to follow.
15 A Widow Can Only Remarry With Certain Approval
If the day does come when a woman’s husband's life is lost while he is in the mob, a mob widow can only remarry if she has the approval of certain people. A mob wife’s entire identity is based around her husband and his position in the clan and when he passes, she is often left to fend for herself.
If she wants her and her family to remain in the mob and remain under their protection, she must continue to follow their rules. A widow may have trouble supporting herself and her family on her own but she can only remarry if her sons agree to the marriage and approve of her new suiter. The man must also be of the same rank in the mob as the widow’s previous husband. On top of that, the woman will have to have mourned for the amount of time that the mafia deems necessary prior to dating someone new.
14 Women Compete In Pageants To Be Chosen As A Mob Wife
In some countries, like Mexico, the majority of people live in poverty and marrying into the mobs or cartels is the only way to ensure that you will be taken care of. Women in Mexico and Latin America will often compete in beauty pageants, knowing that they will be scouted as a potential wife for men in the cartel.
Being the wife of a powerful drug trafficker is envied by many women in these countries, as it is often the only way they will ever get a taste of money or power. In exchange for a nice home to live in, fancy clothes, and an extravagant life, these women are expected to make the men in the mobs happy with their good looks and company. Getting enhancements is extremely popular among these women who hope to attract these men with their bodies.
13 Women Take A Vow Of Silence
Women in the mafia are not usually looked at as key players but they do know a lot of the men’s secrets and for that reason, they must take a vow of silence. Trust is number one with the mob and a woman must be loyal to her clan, never “rat” anyone out, and never reveal secrets to anyone.
Women are taught to cook, clean, care for the children, and keep their mouths shut. Women who choose to gossip or discuss private family matters in an inappropriate way are quickly excommunicated from the group and labeled as “stoolies,” which is a slang term for a betrayer. The mafia, mobs, and cartels are also involved with illegal activities on a daily basis, so the women need to keep their families’ true identities hidden and adhere to the hush-hush standards.
12 Women Fall For The Glamorous Mafia Life And Are Stuck When It Gets Horrific
You may be wondering why some of these women choose to marry into the mob if it is really so difficult and demanding but the truth is, some women are tricked. Some females fall for the glitz and the glam that the mafia life appears to be at first: being wined and dined, taken to fabulous parties, and being gifted diamonds and pearls. However, the mob life is certainly not all it’s cracked out to be but it is often not until the women are married and stuck with their men that they realize that.
Women do not exactly realize what they are getting themselves into until it is too late. They fall in love with the man’s power, wealth, and dominance but do not realize all the danger that is surrounding them.
11 Some Wives Are Unaware Of Their Husband's Illegal Activities
While some women are well aware of what they are getting themselves into when marrying a mobster, some women are left completely in the dark when it comes to their husband's illegal activities. Sometimes, men become involved with the mob or mafia later on in life when they are already married, so they try to hide what they are doing from their women.
Other times, the men do not let their wives in on what they are really doing and keep their lives in the mob secretive. Even if the women find out all of the horrible things that their husbands may be doing, they will often ignore it because they know he is providing for their family and putting food on the table for their kids.
10 There Is A Ranking Of Wives In The Mafia
Did you know that not all mob wives are created equal? Some have earned more respect than others, which can create tension among the women. The “C” class wife is simply a stay-at-home mother who cooks, cleans, and cares for the kids. She stays in the house, rarely goes out with her man, and is basically just there to please him and make his life easier.
A “B” class wife will “come up” with her husband, meaning that as he rises in rank in the mob, she will reap the benefits as well. An “A” class wife is really a man’s partner and will always be spotted on his arm. She is more involved with the family businesses, even assisting in criminal activities, and helps her husband make big decisions.
9 Some Mob Wives Are Bosses
While some mob wives will always be a pretty accessory on their man’s arm, some mob wives will go on to rule in their husband’s absence. It is rare but some women do get the opportunity to control their families if the men are in jail or have lost their lives. For example, Anna Mazza was the wife of the boss of the Moccia clan in Italy. After her husband passed in the seventies, she assumed a leadership role in the mafia and reigned over the family for the next twenty years.
Mazza became the first woman in Italy to be convicted of mafia-related crimes. She only enlisted help from other women because she said that men were too concerned with military power and that women make for better mediators.
8 Women Are Afraid Of Having Lots Of Children
When you think of the mob or the mafia, you often think of large families, however, women often did not want to have big families because they would constantly worry about what would happen to them if their husband went to jail or passed away. Being sent to prison or getting "hit" was not out of the ordinary for a man in the mob so it was always on a wife’s mind that she could be left alone to raise their children.
Because of this, women do not want to have a lot of children. Sometimes the mob or the mafia will help a widow who has lost her husband but more often than not, they are left to fend for themselves. Some men spend their whole lives going in and out of jail, so it is unlikely that they would be able to provide enough income for their families if they are never around.
7 A Wife Can Never Divorce Her Husband While He Is In Jail
You may be thinking, why doesn’t she just divorce him and find a new husband if he gets sent to jail? Unfortunately, divorcing your husband while he is in jail is strictly forbidden in the mob. It does not matter if the man gets sentenced to five years or 25 years; a mob wife cannot abandon her husband while he is in jail.
Ironically enough, he is technically abandoning his family by going to jail and leaving them without income but that hardly seems to matter. A woman is expected to visit her husband and send him money when he is serving a jail sentence. Even if a man is not serving time in jail, divorcing someone in the mob is going to be pretty difficult.
6 They Are Surrounded By Drugs But Can Never Become A “Junkie”
Women in the mafia are often surrounded by drugs because the men distributing them. One former mob wife described how her husband would store drugs in their infant’s room. Nothing was off limits but one thing that was not allowed was for the women to use these drugs and become junkies. The men did not mind if the woman sold drugs but she certainly was not allowed to take them herself.
If a woman were to start using hard drugs and become addicted, she would immediately be removed from the family. The mafia looks down on being a junkie, being a rat, and being a pimp, so as long as you do not get involved with drugs, become a tattletale, or hustle women, you should be good.
5 Mob Wives Dress Almost Exclusively In Black
Women who have married into the mob are often seen wearing black. Black is notoriously the color used to mourn the loss of loved ones and when you are in the mob, you are constantly dealing with loss. A mob wife always has a reason to mourn because it is all too frequent that a brother, son, nephew, uncle, or neighbor gets killed.
It is every woman’s fear that one day someone will come knocking at her door, telling her that her husband was the one who was slain. Underneath the black, women will often wear red to represent all of the blood that was lost. Many mob wives wear read underclothes today to remember all the blood that had to be avenged. They will not allow themselves to forget about their lost loved ones.
4 Women In The Mafia Are Not Allowed To Borrow Money
Women are never allowed to borrow money from other men in the mob or mafia. This is because if the woman ends up not being able to pay the loan shark back, he will not be able to physically beat her up until she pays. If it were a man, he would be continuously threatened and beaten to a pulp until he paid his debts. Men will actually continue to borrow more money from a loan shark before paying back the current debts he already owes.
It is good to know that even men in the mafia are against hitting women, so they have made this rule to protect themselves and their women. However, these days, they are probably turning away a decent amount of business from women looking for some quick cash.
3 Mafia Wives End Up On Welfare Frequently
Women are afraid of having lots of children with their mobster husband because when he most likely ends up in jail for a few years, she will be forced to go on welfare. Sometimes, the mafia family will continue to provide for a mob wife when her husband is sent to jail but unless the men are high up in the rankings, it is not guaranteed.
It is not uncommon for women to be deserted by the mob and eventually end up on the welfare rolls. They are forced to live in poverty-like conditions in order to feed their kids until their husbands return home, which could sometimes be in a few months to a year and other times it would be for more than a decade or two.
2 It Is Acceptable For Men In The Mob To Cheat On Their Wives
Although the women who marry into the mob have strict rules to adhere to, the men do not. It is completely acceptable and commonly known that men in the mob often cheat on their wives and have mistresses. Sometimes, the man’s wife and children will live out in the suburbs, where he will visit every weekend, and he will also have a mistress and an apartment in the city, where he will live during the week.
The men in the mob justify their affairs by claiming it “reinforces [their] strength.” The wives are typically aware of their husband’s extramarital activities but even if they do not condone it, there is not much they can do about it. It is just another facet of being a mob wife that these women have to deal with.
1 It Is Next To Impossible For Women To Escape The Mafia
It is fairly difficult to divorce a man in the mafia or mob. They are extremely possessive of their women and would not be likely to agree to a divorce. As aforementioned, the women in the mob know all of the men’s secrets and allowing a wife to leave the family would mean the potential for all of those secrets to get out.
Some women who have managed to escape their former lives as mob wives are forced to live under false identities in new locations under the protection of the law. Their lives still feel like a prison because they cannot live freely and do as they please. Signing a marriage license with a man in the mob is like signing over your life.
Sources: stuffmomnevertoldyou.com, express.co.uk, people.com, vice.com