Celebrities can be somewhat on the ridiculous side – we know that. They live in a sphere which is wholly separate from our own, and so in a weird way it kind of makes sense that the rules would be different for them. They have different needs to us – if they want a new car or a designer gown, they can get it with a click of their fingers. They have to exert control in other areas to really make themselves feel important and powerful.
Maybe that’s why they can sometimes go a bit overboard with their demands. We’ve all heard about the ridiculous riders that some artists can ask for when they attend shows, and how they can be very exacting in areas that most people wouldn’t even notice. But that’s all part and parcel of being so famous; you’re halfway to crazy already.
When it comes to relationships, you can be sure that things get a little difficult. Everything you do is in the public eye, and when you slip up it reflects on your partner as well as you. Reporters will be asking them questions about it, shoving cameras in their faces and waiting for them to react with emotion, and they will have to see endless headlines about it. Therefore, it makes sense to come up with some rules to stop those things from happening, right?
Here are some of the rules that celebrity wives have come up with for their husbands. Would you be willing to put up with them?
15 Jennifer Lopez Kept Ben Affleck Busy
They never ended up making it down the aisle, but if Jennifer Lopez’s prenup for Ben Affleck is anything to go by, she may have used some of the same terms for her eventual husband's. The rumor is that she had a clause written in that they had to get busy in the bedroom at least four times a week. That’s definitely a lot of exercise – and it could explain why Jennifer usually choose fit men with a background in dancing as her spouses. After all, they need to be able to keep up. Since Ben didn’t choose to tie the knot that time, we have to wonder whether her demands were a little too much for him. Either way, it’s kind of draconian to have a rule in place for something like that. Wouldn’t it be more romantic to just go with the flow and see what you felt like doing?
14 Mark Wahlberg’s Wife Won’t Let Him Act Out Love Scenes
Mark Wahlberg has an interesting rule in place from his wife, given that his career is in acting. He’s not allowed to truly fall for another woman on screen – at least, certainly not as far as heading into the bedroom with her. He was talking about his character from 2 Guns, and how he doesn’t have a lot of success with the ladies, when he said: ''I love that about him. He's constantly trying to be a ladies' man but he never scores ... And my wife prefers it that way. I prefer to stay away from scenes with me and naked women - it doesn't go down too well." Before he married Rhea Dunham, he had starred in infamous scenes in Boogie Nights, but that kind of scene has been conspicuously absent from his career since then. It’s a bit of a shame: Marky Mark is not getting any younger, so we’ve probably just about missed his prime!
13 Sarah Jessica Parker Silences Matthew Broderick
Ever wondered why we don’t hear a whole lot about Matthew Broderick and his marriage to Sarah Jessica Parker? It’s all because of one big rule that Sarah has for her hubby: keep schtum. "The secret is, we don't discuss it. To reporters or anybody else. That's it!" Parker told The Huffington Post. "We don't hold it up as an example and we don't air our dirty laundry." So, it seems like he’s not even allowed to sing his wife’s praises. That’s pretty harsh, but it seems like it might be working – the pair have been married for more than 20 years. It’s probably a bit of a shame for Broderick, who – dare we say it – could probably benefit from the career boost that a little bit of scandal would bring. Air a little bit of that dirty laundry and he might end up with a lead role or two.
12 Miranda Kerr Wouldn’t Let Orlando Leave Her Side
When Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom were still together, they were blessed with the birth of their son. Flynn was born in 2011, and the birth was a bit of a fraught experience. Miranda gave Orlando just one rule about the birth: he had to stay by her side, no matter what. She refused to have an epidural, but pushing out her 9-pound baby caused her so much pain that she says she ended up having an out of body experience. Meanwhile, Orlando was having troubles of his own. At some point during the birth – which wasn’t over in 20 minutes like it is on TV – he started to desperately need the toilet, but Miranda’s rule was still in place. In the end, he relieved himself into a bottle so that he could stay with her. You have to wonder if she even knew what was going on around her by that point!
11 Catherine Zeta-Jones Just Won’t Share A Bathroom
There are a lot of lines drawn in the sand when it comes to marriages, and Catherine Zeta-Jones has a very interesting line in the sand for her husband. She has a very specific rule which you probably wouldn’t expect. She says, "For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have their own bathroom!" We guess that between her own acting career and husband Michael Douglas’ fortune, they probably have enough money to build master bathrooms in duplicate in every single house that they own. Still, it’s an odd request to have when you already live in a house which is probably roughly the size of a small town. We bet it makes things interesting when they decide to go house-hunting for the next great thing on the market. Then again, with her husband reaching an elderly age, perhaps his bathroom has different requirements than hers.
10 Vanessa Paradis Stopped Johnny Depp’s Steamy Scenes
Ever noticed how Johnny Depp doesn’t appear in that many steamy scenes? It’s a bit odd when you think about it, especially for a man who was considered to be one of the most gorgeous men in the world for a long while. Well, it turns out there’s a reason for that. At one point, he was scheduled to appear in a shower scene with co-star Angelina Jolie in The Tourist, but Vanessa was utterly distressed by the idea and banned him from doing it. In fact, she was so "distressed over the script’s passionate theme that she begged Depp to pull out of the project." He managed to renegotiate the script instead, but it seems this rule may have finally been the death of their relationship, as they separated not long after. Perhaps we can expect things to get a little crazier in his next projects.
9 Avril Lavigne Stopped Chad Kroeger Going Out Alone
It seems like Avril Lavigne is pretty testy about having her man go out of the house on his own, especially if alcohol is going to be involved. When asked about whether they ever drank on their own, Chad Kroeger was pretty vocal about their rules. He said that they didn’t, “ever. Even if we’re apart for weeks.” The rule extended to nightclubs, a place where spouses shouldn’t be seen on their own. “We don’t want to go anywhere that you’re asking for trouble,” he added. Although, it seems that the rules really were one-sided on this one, as Avril was seen partying with her girlfriends more than once without Chad by her side. “We don’t spend more than two weeks apart,” Lavigne added as another rule, though they soon started to break this one when it was clear that their marriage was on the rocks.
8 Angelina Stopped Brad From Doing Love Scenes
When you look back at Brad Pitt’s early career, you’ll see that he didn’t seem to have much of a problem with stripping. He was willing to disrobe and take part in love scenes as often as it was required, and you can see some evidence of that in films like Thelma and Louise and Meet Joe Black. Since meeting Angelina, however, this seems to have stopped. Coincidence? We’re betting not. A friend of Brad’s was quoted as saying, "This is a guy who has tried not to do any sexy scenes with other women since he's met Angelina. He's crazy about her, and she's the same way about him." Seems like Angelina isn’t down with her husband doing those scenes… or should we say: wasn’t, since the pair is now no more. More naked Brad might just be something we will see in our future.
7 LeAnn Rimes Has A Crazy Rule For Fighting
When it comes to keeping a marriage together, LeAnn Rimes was asked for some advice and she had something very interesting to reveal. It seems that she took a piece of wisdom from a friend and really, seriously, took it to heart. "A good friend just told me that the key to a successful marriage was to argue naked! I'm gonna do that from now on, when that rarely happens," she was quoted as saying. That must have made things very interesting for Eddie Cibrian, who has been her husband since 2011. We have to say that although it’s a crazy demand and not something you would normally expect going into a marriage, it’s probably a fairly good rule to have. After all, you can’t fight for long when you’re entranced by staring at someone else’s body. Since most of us are vain creatures, it’s a quick way to remind yourself why you got together with someone in the first place.
6 Jessica Biel Always Gets Her Way
When it comes to making their marriage work, Justin Timberlake is pretty clear about why he and Jessica Biel have been able to stay together. It’s all down to the fact that he abides by a very strong rule: that Jessica gets whatever she wants. "We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she's getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, it's working," he says. It sounds like a cute way for him to show his devotion to her, but could it really work in the long run? We’ll probably have to see how their relationship goes, as many of the celebrity wives that come up with crazy rules seem to end with divorce papers in their hands sooner or later.
5 Nicole Kidman Is Keeping Keith Urban Clean
To be fair, any wife who was fine with her husband being a drug addict probably wouldn’t be a good wife. But Nicole Kidman has taken things a little further when it comes to keeping her husband, Keith Urban, in line. She’s so determined not to let him relapse that she actually had it written into their prenup. The marriage contract states that he will only benefit from divorce if he stays clean. If he manages it, then he’s going to be in line for $640,000 for every year that they have been married. If he relapses, then he forfeits everything and walks away without a penny more than he had when they were wed. To be honest, he could just wait until he gets the payment to go back on the drugs, but she probably wouldn’t care so much by that point if they were already separated.
4 Liz Taylor Just Wanted Five Years
Normally, a prenup is signed in order to protect the assets of the richer spouse. Liz Taylor seems to have abandoned that idea when she got married to Larry Fortensky, who was an odd match in the first place: he was a construction worker that she met while she was in rehab. She drew up a very specific rule for him: there would only be a divorce pay-out or pay-out of any other kind if they remained married for five years, and in that event, he would be the recipient of $1 million. Lo and behold, Larry filed for divorce after the five years and walked away a millionaire. Poor Liz – perhaps she just seriously wanted to make sure that he would hang around long enough to entertain her before she got bored and looked for her next husband. Still, it’s pretty odd that she was so specific about how it had to be exactly five years, and that she even offered him that monetary reward almost to tempt him to divorce.
3 Britney Made K-Fed Sign Ownership Papers
The lengthy prenup between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline was pretty much the only reason why the star didn’t lose absolutely everything when they split. She made sure that her money was tied up tight and belonged to her alone – she wasn’t ready to hand anything over except for a measly $1 million pay-out. That was made especially clear when it came to gifts that were bought between the pair. She added a clause that any time he gave her a gift that was worth more than $7,000, he also had to include legal papers that said who was going to own it in the event of a divorce. Sounds like it was a smart move, considering they did indeed end up divorcing not so long afterward. Still, it probably reduced the romantic effect of most of her gifts, knowing who would keep them after their relationship was no more.
2 Mark Zuckerberg Is Banned From Facebook
That’s right – the creator of Facebook has actually been banned from going on it by his wife, Priscilla Chan. They made a ‘lifestyle agreement’ before they got married which stated what they expected from one another. She demanded that they have at least 100 minutes of alone time together a week. It’s not a lot of time to ask for, but she was also careful to stipulate one extra clause: that he wasn’t to go on Facebook or do anything to do with running Facebook during those minutes. It’s clear that Zuckerberg is a bit of a workaholic, and she was concerned about being able to get any time with him at all. It’s a sweet rule, although when you think about it, it’s kind of sad – it probably means that before she asked for it, she wasn’t even getting to see him for that long without other people around.
1 Kim Kardashian Kept Kris Humphries Quiet
You could tell something was wrong when Kim got married to Kris Humphries, because she normally likes everyone to talk about her as much as possible. This time, however, she issued a gag order to keep Kris’ mouth shut. He was ordered in their prenup not to talk about Kim to the media in any way at all if they split up. Of course, when they inevitably did split up 72 hours later, the order came into effect, and Kris wasn’t allowed to talk about it. That’s why we have never really heard his side of the story. Kim has obviously been media-savvy since day one, and she probably had her momager leaning over her shoulder making sure that all of the T’s were crossed and the I’s were dotted. It should have been a red flag for the poor basketball player, but somehow he just couldn’t get there.