Look, flying isn’t exactly rocket science. And don’t take that to mean the actual mechanics and science behind a plane being able to leave the Earth and flying through the sky. No, that actually increasingly resembles actual rocket science with some recent innovations. No, that’s not the kind of flying that needs to be addressed. The act of flying is the concern here. See, it isn’t all that difficult. It’s a moment when strangers from all walks of life come together and agree to just try and not bother one another. Just for a few hours, even. We’re all in this together. Everyone has a silent agreement to put on their headphones, silently agree not to fight over the arm rest, and just try to remain civil until everyone can get out of the big metal tube they paid $500 to sit in. But then there are the people who, for some reason, decided today was the day to throw the social contract out the window and mess it up for everyone. This was the day they took a stand for the idiot. This is apparently the day and the flight where they emphatically proved that they don’t have enough brain cells firing to have the same level of courtesy and respect we expect from toddlers. These people deserve to be on the no-fly list, and to be treated as such anytime they even think about going near an airplane. These are fifteen of the dumbest people to be photographed ruining flights.
15. He Probably Thinks This Is A Life-Hack
Everyone has had to deal with the fellow passenger who seems to think that the plane belongs to them. It’s like a little hotel, right? Everything is fair game, so long as they manage to get some short-sighted comfort out of it, it doesn’t matter what happens to other people as a result. Take this guy; he’s decided he needs to stretch out a little bit more in his otherwise empty row. And, sure, this guy could probably use the other seats as the rest of a makeshift bed. But he’s clearly only used to sleeping at a specific angle. Does he realize people are on the other side of those chairs? Or does he just assume that this is a vertical bed that is just for him?
14. How Is “Just Boxers” Your Best Option?
Embarrassing public mishaps with clothing happen to the best of us. Maybe a zipper broke off, or there’s a surprise hole in the pants that happens to be around a private area. It’s an unfortunate development, but it’s the responsibility of the person to try and amend the situation. And this guy somehow found a way to actually make it way worse than it already was. What hole in his pants could make “just boxers” the preferable way to deal with this? Notice how he’s wearing a sport coat, straight black socks, and nice shoes. He’s half Don Draper, half offender. This man was clearly wearing slacks, and some mysterious nonsense happened, and he now lacks those slacks. So he didn’t pull out a new pair of pants? Were those literally the only pair of pants he brought? Why doesn’t he just go buy a pair of sweat pants from one of the stores in the airport? They’re over-priced, sure, but he clearly has the money! No, he decides just his skivvies are enough to fulfill his “clothed in public” requirements. At least he didn’t wear briefs.
13. Planes: Not Ideal for Personal Grooming
Every relationship is different. Each pairing of souls is unique and special in its own way, and it’s not fair for anyone to criticize two lovers for the habits that they’ve developed with one another. That’s not the problem here. The problem is that these two idiots don’t seem to know when it is the appropriate time to try and deal with personal grooming of that intimacy. There’s a reason it’s called personal grooming. It’s supposed to be a personal and private experience, and not the sort of thing you decide to do while getting ready for a flight to take off. Where are you going and what are you doing that plucking hairs from his nose can’t wait literally just a few a hours? What need is there for a clean nose before the plane even departs? Is there someone waiting to inspect it when they land?
12. That Time The FAA Had To Investigate The Harlem Shake
In case the slew of Harlem Shake memes has erased the memory of the original, here’s a quick refresher: Bauuer’s 2013 smash hit song “Harlem Shake” created an internet sensation where people would play the song and video, while a single person danced before the beat dropped, and then everyone around them danced too. It was simple enough. The Colorado College Ultimate Frisbee Team was on a flight during their season, and the team members decided that this presented the perfect opportunity for a good Harlem Shake video. This one didn’t get them removed from the plane. It got them investigated by a federal agency, specifically the FAA, who were concerned that the group of college kids had inadvertently interfered with proper procedure on the plane and technically committed a federal felony. Ultimately, the case was dropped by the government, but the lesson was quickly learned; don’t meme too hard on a plane, you guys.
11. The Ambien Zombies
For a lot of people flying, it’s easy to get terrified. There’s just something about this means of travel that plays on anxieties. It’s just that people are cramped into a dark metal tube surrounded by people and flying across the world at high speeds thousands of miles above the ground. So, an increasing number of passengers have started taking prescribed pills like Ambien or Xanax to try and calm them down and help them sleep through the flight. The problem is that a possible side effect of those drugs happens to be doing weird stuff in your foggy, half-asleep state. Some airline attendants have even taken to calling these people “Ambien zombies” because there’s no one that doesn’t love a good zombie reference. One attendant even told Yahoo News about a time that one passenger stripped down and was sleepwalking around the plane. To be honest, this would be way scarier to randomly see on a plane than almost anything else.
10. How Did You Even Get That On The Plane?
At a certain point, people’s stupidities just become impressive. Who manages to smuggle an entire ear of corn onto a flight? On the other hand, why would you smuggle corn onto a flight? Corn is typically not the easiest of foods to eat. It’s easy for kernels to get lost in the shuffle and fall to the ground, especially when someone is eating it piece by piece instead of on a plate with a fork. Like, she’s actually eating it off the cob, and that cannot be considered sanitary by any stretch of the imagination. And, again, why did she bring corn on the cob onto a flight? It’s so confusing! Why didn’t she just get a package of Corn Nuts? I guarantee there were Corn Nuts available somewhere in the airport. The only logical conclusion is that it’s Thanksgiving, and she wanted to really experience that feeling you only really get from a home-cooked meal. We can’t wait for her to pull a turkey out of her purse next.
9. Well, That Escalated Quickly
There’s a lot to unpack her, so let’s start at the beginning. It’s not totally unheard of for unruly passengers to ruin flights by becoming menaces to themselves and others. Maybe it’s the booze, maybe it’s the anxiety, maybe they saw one too many episodes of Big Bang Theory as mid-flight entertainment and just snapped. Whatever the reason, they get out of control and have to be restrained for a while. That’s the obvious end result of cases like this, where the crew has had to take precautions to keep the seemingly boring and harmless chubby middle-aged man from unleashing his inner Hulk again. It looks to be an entire roll of duct tape keeping him strapped to the seat. And it’s clear from the copious amounts of tape they used on his mouth that he probably didn’t stop yelling when they tied him up. Remember: never be this guy.
8. Nana Teaches A (Horrible) Lesson
The lavatory for the restroom can sometimes be a huge hassle to get to. Between ever-changing seatbelt lights, lines of irate passengers forming in the aisle and the overall bad attitude that everyone has while flying, having to get up to tinkle can be a major problem, especially when it’s an emergency. But it’s important to remember to never be as bad as this grandmother. During a flight in Beijing, she ended up telling her four-year-old granddaughter to just make the ground her toilet. She reportedly even yanked down the little girl’s pants to make it easier for her. The picture clearly shows the stained carpet, which is just not going to be fun for any of the attendants to deal with. Somehow, the woman was reportedly shameless about the entire activity and even had the gall to glare at people who complained about it. The nerve of some people, to judge a grandmother teaching her progeny that it’s not her problem if she doesn’t have to clean it up.
7. You Bring The Baby, You’re On Diaper Duty
It’s never fun to bring a baby on board. No matter how annoyed the other passengers are about it, they’ll never be as frustrated as the poor parents themselves. Babies are already difficult enough without introducing them to planes. They’re big, loud, and full of people the babies don’t recognize. It’s nothing that babies like in the slightest. But just because a parent gets sympathy and understanding, it doesn’t allow for a free pass on disgusting habits. After a flight, one unlucky attendant checked the seats to find a veritable treasure trove of soiled diapers, left behind by a family in a hurry. Like, there’s so much there, it probably outweighs the baby. It shouldn’t have to fall on anyone else to deal with that mess. They wouldn’t like if some random person decided to leave little bags of droppings at their place of work and just left afterwards.
6. Not The Right Time For An Ebola Joke, Dude
Look, a good joke is a great way to break the tension in any situation. Get the room laughing, and all those extra worries can just float away. But airports tend to have a strict line that people shouldn’t cross while trying for a chuckle. It typically doesn’t end well. Fox News reported that an American passenger on a 2014 flight to the Dominican Republic made a loud and off-hand joke about having ebola. Now, this was right around the time that ebola was ravaging parts of Africa, so it wasn’t in good taste from the get-go. But yelling this in a crowded plane was not a great idea, and it immediately panicked all the other passengers, and why the hell wouldn’t it? The plane spent the next hour on the tarmac until emergency personnel boarded the plane and escorted him off for tests. At least the hazmat guys came back on and told everyone that he was just an idiot.
5. It’s Never Karaoke Night While Flying
The power of song can melt icy hearts and unite peoples from across the world. There is also a specific time and place for singing. Alone? Sure. At a karaoke bar? Fine, whatever. On a plane? Probably not. One passenger on a flight was passing the time before take off by singing to themselves. And when other passengers asked the woman to stop, she responded by singing even louder. The arrival of flight attendants and even security couldn’t stop her from singing along to her favorite Whitney Huston songs. And at a point, she probably should have just stopped. Instead, she was forcibly led off the plane by security. But she got to keep her dignity (I guess), by belting out more Whitney as she was led off the flight.
4. Bad Dog? No, Bad Person
Wow, 2014 was not a banner year for commercial flights. During a typical flight to Philadelphia, many of the people onboard the plane started to notice a foul odor. Looking around, they found that a woman had brought her very large dog onto the flight with her, and that the dog was leaving a very smelly present in the middle of the walkway. It became a much more distinctive divider than the ones used to keep first class from the rest of the peasants in the back. Even after the in-flight crew cleaned up the mess, the smell lingered throughout the rest of the flight. It’s not cool for someone to bring one of their little dogs onto a flight. It’s terrifying for the little guy, and he can also easily lose control. But it’s especially weird to see such a massive dog on a plane. Did this woman really not see this coming? However, she felt bad and wanted to offer out Starbucks gift cards for the incident, which is a nice gesture, but I bet the other passengers would have preferred not having to deal with dog droppings.
3. No One Is Above Sky Law – Even Pilots
It’s not a great idea to get too political on a commercial flight nowadays. The political divide has become increasingly dangerous in recent years, especially in 2017. Some flyers have been ejected and even outright banned from airlines because of the tirades they go on in these public spaces. This kind of punishment extends all the way to the front of the plane. Before a flight to San Francisco earlier this year, the pilot boarded the plane in casual clothing instead of her uniform. She got on the intercom and explained how she was late because she was going through a tough divorce. She then went on a full on rant about the election, and then began making racist jokes. Many of the passengers ended up disembarking the flight instead of trusting her in the cockpit. Luckily, she didn’t get the chance. Instead, she was removed from the flight and had to deal with security. Sky law knows no limits.
2. Sleeping With A Bag Over Her Head
There is a certain kind of person who has managed to survive in this world, despite their seeming inability to stay alive of their own volition. This isn’t about them. This is about something far, far worse. Take this woman, for example. According to the flight attendant who posted the picture, this woman apparently got cold over the course of the flight. So, she reached down to the complimentary bag with a blanket and pillow inside, and promptly threw those away, because what could she use those for? Instead, she decided to use the bag for heat, putting it over her entire head and trying to take a nap with it on. And the worst part? When attendants moved over to her and forced her to take the bag off her head, she managed to get mad at them for it. That’s what makes this more than just an idiot. It’s an idiot who was mad at everyone else for keeping her from killing herself, like an idiot.
1. And Lo, The Idiots Find Their King
This one takes the cake, folks. The undisputed king of airline idiots. So, in February of 2016, a man was flying from Algeria to Paris. This man, to his displeasure, learned that he was not allowed to smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol for the duration of the flight. He got into an argument with the flight staff over this development, and they refused to budge on their rules. So, he made the logical decision to start urinating openly. Like, right there, in the aisle. This quickly turned into a fist fight (unsurprisingly), which ended with the man shirtless and forcibly held down. We wish we knew what he was thinking going into that situation. What conclusions formulated in his head before making that awful decision? He’s like a bad passenger bingo sheet that has come to life. Honors to you, you absolute idiot.
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