Sofia Vergara reportedly is one of the richest actors on Modern Family. She is on top of her game. But, it was not always this. There was a time when she was just another hot stacked Latina on the mean streets of Bogota, Colombia. She got tagged by a model scout and began doing topless, bottomless calendars, and the odd video. Heck, she was “Miss Every Month of the Year” for a while. And then, there were those rumors of working girl and drug mule gigs. She ends up in Miami, where she was linked to one or two Mafia types. Murderous Mafia types. Meanwhile, back in Colombia, her brother is murdered in a drug-cartel-related kidnapping attempt. So, what Sofia does is later hook up with a drug lord or two. Getting the not-so-nice vibe here? One gossip site has wondered out loud if Sofia may be “the worst person in the world”. Hey, we’re definitely not saying that she is! However, you read this stuff and decide for yourself. Could these things ruin her career? Well, they just might. There are signs that the world may already be suffering from “Gloria Delgado Overload”.
15. Destined To Be An Actress Or Something Else?
We’ll get to those topless calendars she did before she achieved fame and fortune in a bit. A while back, our Sofia has played a kind of man-eating brothel madam in the totally forgettable Machete Kills. And the actress has joked that she almost became a hooker while still a hot young blonde in her native Colombia. Well, some websites claim that there was no “almost” about it. Plus, as we will see, she has hung out with mobsters and drug lords, making some people wonder how far a hot and ambitious Latina would go to get fame and fortune. The site claims that back in the day, she was a drug mule. You know, using those lady bits. “Dirty work,” the site says. So, anyone need a bubble bath?
14. Topless Calendar Numero Uno
Meet Miss Calendar Girl 2000. Try Googling her topless calendar poses and you’ll find a treasure trove of the 20-something blonde Latina bombshell, in and out of bikinis and sometimes doing very suggestive poses. See, she was young and hot and ambitious and, after she was discovered on a Colombian beach by a scout, modeling gigs swarmed her way. Not a catwalk in sight, but lots of beaches and sand and bikinis. Some call it: “glamour modeling”. Think no-to-little clothes and you’ve got the general idea. Hey, young Sofia was already doing some Miami-based TV travel shows for Latin American TV and by the way, also hanging out with a gangster from right to left. She was in good company. So was Madonna and Jennifer Lopez.
13. Murder: The Brother She Left Behind
See, Colombia in the 1990’s was not the kind of place you wanted to be. Drug lords, drug cartels, kidnapping, murder and more. And then there was 22-year-old Sofia, a single mom with a two-year-old son in tow. Her number one goal? Getting the heck out of Colombia. Hence all the spicy calendars and the gigs in Miami for Latin American television. Rumor has it that she would have done just about anything to leave Colombia behind. Some speculate that she was totally a “do-anything” kind of babe back then. And what was she doing when her older brother Rafael, was shot in a botched Colombian kidnapping in 1998? Well, she was in Miami hanging out with a notorious gangsters with ties to the Bonanno crime family. Maybe her guilty conscience led her to bring younger brother Julio to the States? That didn’t work out either.
12. Topless Calendar Numero Dos
Here she is again a year after her first calendar cover. We’ve gone from just about full-frontal to totally bare rear. We can’t show you the uncensored version, but we’re sure that with just once click, you can Google it. It’s totally worth the time it takes to find it, we promise. To put it into perspective, this is about the time Rafael is being gunned down in Colombia. And our Sofia? When she’s not posing nearly naked on beaches, she’s digging the Miami mob scene and hanging out with Madonna, Jennifer Lopez and Daisy Fuentes in clubs owned by guys and girls with ties to the Mafia. And, oh yeah, she’s having a crack at Hollywood by strutting her considerable stuff on TV’s Baywatch.
11. Sofia And The Murderer
It’s a couple of years after that last calendar and Sofia is flitting between Miami, Hollywood and Colombia, doing her TV star thing. For years she’s been hot and heavy with a Miami club owner called Chris Paciello. He’s a gangster who was connected to the notorious Bonanno crime family. You see, sometimes these bad guys flee New York, where the body count is high, and land in places like Atlanta or Miami. Chris had become a kind of darling of the Miami club scene. Officially, he was “legit”. Unofficially? His thing was burglaries, mostly, with the occasional murder thrown in. Hey, he’s an attractive guy surrounded by A-List stars like Madonna herself. Can you blame Sofia for looking past his sins? Maybe. Maybe not. Meanwhile, back in Colombia…
10. The Druggie Brother She Left Behind
Okay, Sofia is guilt-tripping about what happened to her brother, Rafael, so in the late 90’s she decides to bring her younger brother Julio, to the States. She plonks him down in Miami, where he proceeds to get arrested 30 or more times for drug-related offenses. He’s using drugs. He’s dealing drugs. He’s one hot mess! And he looks like a total wreck. By the time he was deported in 2011, Sofia has been two years into Modern Family living the good Hollywood life. She has commented that it was hard to “watch” him destroy himself. But some say, watch is just what she did. No sign of any intervention from her side. She’s in Hollywood on her way to becoming one of the highest paid actresses in the world and she was just “watching” the guy go downhill. Hey, it was Jezebel that wondered out loud if she was the “worst person in the world”.
9. The Hotter, Younger “Sister”
Meet Sandra Vergara. She’s Sofia’s cousin. Seems she was adopted by Sofia’s parents and the two girls were raised together. When the Peruvian model/actress came to the States, she lived with Sofia for four years. But you see, the thing is she’s younger and (some say) hotter than Sofia. In fact, according to E! Online, Sofia’s made a point of putting distance between herself and her younger “sis”. Why? You guess. E! Online came right out and said Sandra was hurt that Sofia had abandoned her. But hey, remember when 50-year-old Salma Hayek was the hot go-to Hollywood Latina? Along comes younger Sofia Vergara to muscle in and become the Queen of the Latinas. So, maybe 40-something Sofia is looking back over her shoulders… Stranger things have happened in Hollywood, folks.
8. The Lover, The Murder And The $15 Million Bail
Back to pre-Hollywood Miami. Sofia is all loved up with mobster Chris Paciello. Oops! In 2000, the guy was arrested and charged with murder. It seems that before he fled the violence in New York, he managed to botch a 1996 burglary on Staten Island and kill the lady of the house. So, he is banged up on felony murder charges and the judge sets bail at 15 million dollars. Sofia offered “her” house as collateral for the bail money. Now, you guys are smart. What’s wrong with this picture? Well, how does a glamour model, doing a spot of Latin American TV, afford a $15 million house? She probably doesn’t. Think sugar daddy. Think mob money. Think Chris. And we haven’t even gotten to the drug lord yet…
7. Of Limos And Kisses Across The Courtroom
Miami lifestyle. Chris Paciello may be a bad guy, but stupid? He isn’t. So, there he is in Miami charged with racketeering and felony murder. What does he do? Well, he does a sweet deal with prosecutors in which he agrees to plead guilty and squeal on his mob bosses in exchange for a lesser sentence. There he is in court, pleading guilty and (reportedly) blowing kisses to Sofia, who has just emerged from a limo in front of the courthouse. What a touching scene. The only thing is, Chris is going to be banged up, the mafia bosses are pissed off and maybe Sofia thinks it’s time to call it a day. So, there is Chris serving his six-year sentence. Is Sofia trying to smuggle a file in on visitor’s day? No way. It was bye-bye Chris, hello drug lord. See, there’s a pattern here. We’re still trying to figure out what happened to that $15 million house.
6. Sofia And The “Lord”
Okay, so Chris was banged up for six or seven years. Don’t worry about Sofia because she latches on to one Andres Lopez Lopez, a drug lord who was released from a twenty month drug sentence in 2004. See, a while back, the New York Post did a piece on Sofia and her drug and gangland chums. It was pretty damning stuff, but all that seems to have been forgotten in the stampede to crown her Queen of TV. She’s doing that funny, dumb bombshell routine that many love and more find irritating. Not much (if anything) is said about her mob ties in Miami or the thing with a convicted drug lord who calls her “a marvelous woman I love dearly.” Did she forget it was probably the drug lords and gangs that killed her brother Rafael? Probably.
5. In “The Buff” In A Lake With A Guy
Back to pre-fame and fortune days and the young Sofia Vergara is in her brown-hair phase and doing nude videos in a lake. We’re not quite sure why, but apparently her assets are not always submerged, if you get our drift. Wait, there’s a naked guy there with her too in some snippets of the leaked video! So, you can use your imagination. This came in the late 1990’s during her topless/bare bum modeling period. You know, her Miss Calendar Girl phase and all. It was a complicated life for our Sofia, jetting between Colombia, Miami, and Hollywood, juggling Mafia boyfriends, bare bum photoshoots, and raising her young son who was then barely school age. What the heck did he make of it all? Quite an education he got.
4. The Ape Cups A Feel
Mix and match that video with a bum-exposed shot of Sofia and a naked ape in which the ape appears to be cupping her bare asset. Well, we now seem to be getting the general idea of what “do anything” Sofia was up to before she hooked up with Mafia and drug lord types. Speaking of the drug lord, Sofia leaves him to eat her dust when, in 2005, she gets a long-term Hollywood contract. Maybe that’s why in 2011, drug lord Andres Lopez Lopez spilled the beans on their fling. He said he loved her dearly but, some doubt it. We should also mention the shots in which Sofia’s bare bum is being oiled. But then again, maybe not.
3. Starting The Year Right? Or not!
Sofia and “friend” Chris Paciello just before the brawl. It was in 2010 when our Sofia already became a big, big hit in Modern Family. So, she meets Onion Crunch entrepreneur Nick Loeb. Now, he’s dorky. She’s feisty. Plus, they fight all the time. Enter Chris Paciello, our banged up gangster, who was then newly emancipated and back into clubs and making big bucks. Now that he’s free and rich again, he and Sofia renew their “friendship.” Sure! So, what’s more natural than for Sofia and Nick to roll up to Paciello’s Miami club for New Year’s Eve? In 2012, Sofia and Nick partied hard at the club when in a nick of the moment, were already fighting like cats and dogs. Moments later, Nick ends up in a brawl with Paciello’s security thugs. Sofia is thrown to the floor and her “assets” are revealed in all their glory for everyone to see. What was that about? In a word: jealousy. A couple of years later and she shows Loeb the door.
2. The Worst Person In The World?
Now, don’t get mad. That’s just Jezebel talking. It seems that Sofia did a Harper’s Bazaar interview to which the gossip website took exception. They did give her the benefit of the doubt, by saying that maybe she is “just the most vulgar and out-of-touch”person in the world. It gets worse. Apparently, she said that her fame and fortune has made it possible for her to realize her dream. And what would that be? Getting paid big bucks for doing endorsements. No kidding. She said that. Some say she has morphed into Gloria Delgado. And mind you, not in a good way. When she introduced Sylvester Stallone‘s daughters at an annual awards show, she did her Gloria thing and pretended to mix up annual with “an*l”. She thought it was hilarious. She was the only one.
1. Do Anything, Sofia Still Wins The Day
Let’s recap. Around twenty years ago, the 20-something Sofia Vergara was in Colombia, doing her modelling thing and posing both topless and bottomless. In the water. Out of the water. Some of the poses were pretty “raunchy”. Some gossip sites report that she was a working girl and a drug mule. No word from her camp on that one. Then, she lands a gig in Miami doing a show or two for Latin American TV, leaves her family to fight it out in the mean streets, and hooks up with a gangster, who, by the way, turned out to be a murderer. She even rolls up in a limo to blow kisses at his murder trial. Then, when he got banged up, she set off to find a drug lord to shack up with. Some life. These days, she’s one of the highest paid women on TV. But, she’s also on a steep downhill slide to 50. Watch this space. There could be trouble ahead.
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