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15 Pics Proving Kate Upton Isn’t That Attractive

Entertainment
15 Pics Proving Kate Upton Isn’t That Attractive

The blonde and buxom Kate Upton is one of the most popular models of the moment. Her voluptuous and curvy figure is being highly embraced in a period when thin is out and some extra “cushion for the pushin’” is all the rage. Some people (her fans) think the 25-year-old model is the sexiest thing they’ve ever seen, while others don’t really get what all the fuss and fame is all about.

Sure, any person from the most hideous to the most attractive can be made to appear even better-looking with the aid of hair and makeup, the perfect lighting, and the magic of Photoshop, so lots of the retouched photos we see of Upton are not even how she looks in real life. She would probably tell you so herself. Flaws can be masked, lumps can be smoothed out, and poses and angles make all the difference when it comes to taking “average” to “exceptional.”

Upton has posed for the highly coveted Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue as well as many other modeling gigs and has acted on the big screen in acclaimed films including The Other Woman and Tower Heist. While she’s certainly doing well in the biz, it doesn’t mean we all must buy into the idea that she’s an out-of-this-world beauty. Just look at these 15 photos of the 5’10” gal, and you be the judge. Do you think she’s the bee’s knees or just a regular chick who got lucky?

15. Schlumpy Speed-Walker

It’s always important and healthy to get in some daily, or at least regular, exercise, but as a supermodel, you would think that Kate Upton would look hot in the process of working out. While she certainly doesn’t look like a total mess, this awkward pose and slumped-over posture make her look rather unathletic and uncoordinated. It doesn’t look like she’s working up any sort of a sweat, and quite frankly, she could use a more supportive sports bra for the “girls.” If you saw this regular-looking chick coming down your street on a sunny day, would you think it’s the same babe who graces the sexy pages of Sports Illustrated? Sorry fellas, but real life is a far cry from what we see in the glossy mags.

14. Foil Faux Pas

Looks like someone’s got to touch up her dark roots. Even famous supermodels need a helping hand when it comes to looking “naturally” beautiful. Blonde hair can always be blonder, shinier, and brighter, and that’s just what Kate Upton is buying into. Just because she’s a model doesn’t mean she comes model-perfect right out of the package. Just take a look at her eyebrows, and you can see that the babe is not a natural blonde. At least she’s fun-loving enough to post this pic of herself getting fixed up and red carpet-ready. But this pre-primping routine proves that the finished result takes lots of work. So, the “before” is a regular-looking gal just like your best friend or neighbor. The “after” is the result of hours of styling, makeup, and hairstyling.

13. Put a Lid on It

We can clearly see that Kate Upton can get glammed up when the situation calls for it, but before the styling and makeup, she looks like a plainer-than-Plain Jane who seems not only down in the dumps but as though she’s seeking to hide from the cameras under a baseball cap. Her ho-hum, no-frills look lets us know that she wouldn’t get a second look from modeling agents looking for the next big thing to grace the glossy pages of fashion magazines. Sure, Upton looks cute enough for a day at the baseball field, but she would be turned away from the red carpet in a heartbeat. Who knew that such a highly paid model could look so much like the girl you used to sit behind in homeroom?

12. Coated Catastrophe

Some women look super-chic in a stylish overcoat, but for model Kate Upton, the overcoat look is more “shriek” than “chic.” Perhaps she just had a bad day, but in this unflattering pic, it appears like she recently rolled out of bed and threw on the first thing she saw in the closet to run out for a cup of coffee and a buttered bagel. Clearly, she was not expecting to be photographed as she probably was in the made-up photo on the right. But for a supermodel, you’d think she’d still look foxy even when caught on candid camera. Of course, not every photo is magazine worthy, but even her mom wouldn’t frame this pic for the living room. At least Upton can throw the coat over her head when more paparazzi peep out from the bushes.

11. Blotchy Beauty

Ah, the wonders of modern makeup. As we can plainly see, without a stitch of foundation, concealer, or powder, Kate Upton, unfortunately, looks like an acne-ridden teen with big blotches and blemishes all over her face. The sunglasses may hide her eyes, but they can’t help us unsee those unsightly red flare-ups. Yes, we all get breakouts from time to time, but we’re not highly paid supermodels. There’s got to be a decent dermatologist in the area who can help Upton’s skin clear up and get her looking smooth and zit-free in no time. Sure, the makeup covers the many imperfections quite well, but it must clog her pores, too, creating a vicious cycle of pesky pimple popups. Maybe Upton’s next lucrative modeling gig can be for Proactiv Solution.

10. Model or Maternity-Wear?

You won’t see any self-respecting model wearing what looks like a maternity top in a modern fashion magazine anytime soon. So, why is supermodel Kate Upton walking the streets in what looks like a piece of clothing meant for an expecting mom? There are no reports that she’s “with child,” so there’s absolutely no excuse for going out in public in such an odd ensemble. Sure, we’re all allowed to express our individual style through what we wear, but someone ought to alert Upton to the fact that her taste isn’t doing her any favors. Surely, she has something far cooler in her closet to throw on. Couple this shirt with a pair of “mom jeans” and Upton will lose her modeling contract in the blink of an eye.

9. Hat Horror

Kate Upton’s big smile looks a bit forced, and we’re not surprised one bit. How would you feel if you were wearing a gigantic hat that looks more like a UFO than a decent accessory? Who knows why Upton is donning this horror show of a headpiece in the first place? But she couldn’t have possibly looked in the mirror before heading out thinking she looked like a million bucks. There are many hats one can choose should one opt for covering one’s head, so Upton could’ve certainly found something far more flattering. Not to mention, she’s taking up a heck of a lot of space with this wide-brimmed head-topper. She must have “hat head” underneath, and that’s the only excuse for not removing this hideous hat immediately.

8. Doggone Drab

This adorable dog is super cute and so is the smiling Kate Upton, but is she really supermodel material? A ruff call, but we’re going with ‘no.’ Perhaps, Upton would be the most attractive chick working at the pound, but with this laid-back and casual look, she doesn’t seem like the cat-walking woman we’ve become accustomed to from our supermodels. Plus, her botched-up bruised knee wouldn’t pair very well with a couture mini skirt. Of course, the precious pup thinks Upton is tail-waggingly perfect, but she’s probably tempting him with meaty dog treats. We do admire a true dog lover, but this doesn’t make a gal worthy of a 2-page spread in a high-end fashion magazine. Perhaps she would be better suited for dog walking than cat-walking.

7. Camo Casual

It sure looks like model Kate Upton is having a ton of fun with her pals dressed in camo-style gear, but fun doesn’t always equal fabulous when it comes to rating our modern-day supermodels. While Upton seems to be energetic and working hard on her fitness, we’ve seen plenty of equally- or better-looking women who could be model material in place of Upton. Surely, the folks participating in this outdoor activity with Upton are happy to see her and have her join in, but you won’t be seeing her inviting them to her next on-location Sports Illustrated photo shoot. And they travel to some exotic and exciting places. Upton looks cute, but she could pass for the girl-next-door in this pic — nothing close to a runway legend.

6. Lackluster in Leather

Sure, Kate Upton looks quite chic in her cool dark shades and black leather jacket, but cool doesn’t always equate to model-level hotness. This blonde babe would get some appreciative looks from the fellas, but if you told them that the woman they’re looking at is a world-class supermodel, they may be shocked. Upton looks free-spirited, confident, and modern, but that’s about it. She’s pretty and natural, but are her looks worth millions of dollars? You be the unofficial judge. Find any pretty gal in your town and throw on a pair of expensive sunglasses and a stylish leather jacket, and she’ll look nearly the same as Upton does in this candid shot. Maybe we can all be supermodels with the right stroke of luck!

5. Fair Fan

Kate Upton looks like she’s joyfully cheering on the home team in this happy-go-lucky pic of the pretty model in her baseball cap and simple T-shirt, but her ballgame look is a far cry from the glitz and glam of runways, red carpets, and fabulous fashion spreads. She looks just like one of the team’s cheerleaders – perky and cute – but not exactly drop-dead gorgeous as we hope she might look, considering she’s a supermodel and all. As long as Upton is having a ton of fun at the big game and enjoying herself, we can’t really complain, but here’s just another example in a long line of photos that show how Upton is just the girl-next-door type. Unless you live next door to the Playboy mansion, of course. RIP, Hef.

4. Polka NOT

Is this 1987, or is Kate Upton wearing a look that’s PTA mom-worthy rather than supermodel sexy? All of the contrasting and busy patterns make this blue and black blouse a fashion “no,” and Upton’s awkward smile makes us think she’s well aware of her thumbs-down fashion faux pas. When a gal has a curvy figure as Upton does, she ought to know that all this chaos doesn’t flatter her body a bit. Perhaps, she was running late and grabbed her grandma’s blouse without looking or dribbled marinara sauce on her original outfit and had to borrow something from a friend with less-than-good fashion taste. Upton had a shot to look good in this pic, if not for this unfortunate louse of a blouse. If only the photo was snapped from the neck up.

3. Mad Hatter

Someone looks rather pleased with her unconventional choice in fashion, but a big toothy smile can’t distract us from a weird hat that’s just not “all that.” Her broadly-grinning man looks quite happy, too, so at least Kate Upton and her love are on the same page when it comes to fashion sense. But for the rest of us, this look is more “Mad Hatter” than flattering and makes little sense. Some may like the look of the popular model in all white, but that wacky hat is a major distraction. Surely, no fashion stylist put this look together, and if one did, he or she must have it out for Upton. She doesn’t look her worst by far, but she’s far from her best. Where are the Sports Illustrated stylists when you need them?

2. Average American

Oh, look at this pretty gal at the mall in her Sunglass Hut shades and Forever 21 top. Wait! It’s the famous Kate Upton, looking more like a college co-ed than a millionaire supermodel. Caught off-guard, the model looks like anyone you may have been friends with back in high school and not someone who graces the pages of countless fashion magazines on newsstands everywhere. Sure, she looks good enough, but if you worked at Vogue, would you beg this babe to pose for the publication? We think not. Upton is no doubt California-cute and looks youthful and healthy, but she’s not as hot in her everyday look as she is when touched up for the glossy mags. Get yourself a pro photo shoot and see how much hotter you’ll suddenly become, too.

1. Bikini Bomb

Ouch! That painful-looking sunburn has got to hurt, especially when Kate Upton wants to take a seat. And the “wedgie” doesn’t help her cause either. A high-SPF sunscreen is always important to use while sunbathing on a hot day, and every inch of skin must be protected… rear end included. Looks like Upton is having fun in the sun despite her burnt bottom, but she ought to take care of those “tatas,” too. They’re surely on display and are asking a lot of the sun! Sunburned boobs won’t look very good in a photo shoot or on the runway. If Upton knew she was being snapped by the paparazzi, perhaps she would’ve posed in a more model-like fashion, but the real girl is showing her true colors… in this case, red.

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