This should come as no shock to anyone, but there are an awful lot of short guys out there. And a lot of them suffer from “little man syndrome”, or what some people wrongly call a “Napoleon complex”. Dogs do this too. You ever notice how it’s the tiny dogs who are the yappiest and biggest pains? Well, that’s often the same with short guys. I mean, look at Tom Cruise! He’s friggin’ nuts!
That being said, even though he’s nuts, he scores women all over the place including celebs like Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman. He’s not the only nutty shorty-guy celeb out there to score big, either. There are plenty. And that should be comforting to the short guys out there reading this article with a phone book under them so they can actually see the screen.
Sure, it’s likely that most of these people scored women because of their money or their popularity (and a lot of the relationships are now broken up), but given how batsh*t crazy some of them are, I think it’s safe to say that there really is hope for the regular short guys out there. You’ll find your big break. You’ll reach up to the clouds one day and find your girlfriend’s lips there. Just keep believing and check out some of these short guys who held on to hope (and some pretty hot girls).
15. Daniel Radcliffe & Erin Darke
Now, this should give every short guy out there some hope. Daniel Radcliffe was the nerdy, angsty, awkward wizard Harry Potter for years! For pretty well a decade…well, he’ll never not be Harry Potter to a lot of people, so for even longer than a decade. But still, he managed a smoking hot girl like Erica Darke. He said he fell in love with her while they were shooting a pretty naughty scene in a film they did together. How sweet…Anyway, If there are many short nerd guys reading this over (and I’m going to guess at least of you basement-dwelling readers are), then you should really take some comfort in the knowledge that even someone who played a nerdy wizard can score big time. So maybe you’ll meet your girl at the next convention you’re roleplaying at.
14. Keith Urban & Nicole Kidman
I never realized that the country singer and guitar player Keith Urban was so bloody short. Sure, Nicole Kidman is wearing heels here, but she’s also jutting out her hip which makes her a bit shorter. So, it’s safe to assume that she would tower over the country star even without heels. And while that’s pretty hilarious at least you can rest assured that there are some tall women out there who consistently date and marry short guys. After all, Nicole Kidman was with the nutty Tom Cruise at one point as well. It seems she has a type (short and rich). But hey, I’m sure that means that there must be some women out there whose type is just short, without needing the rich. But if you really want to double down and make sure you have amazing chances…I guess, make sure you’re rich.
13. Ethan Hawke & Uma Thurman
Talk about out of his league…sorry, I mean Ethan Hawke is great but come on now. Uma Thurman is just wonderful. And smokin’…and a bad*ss fighter with a katana. That being said, considering how bad*ss she is and how fairly low-key Ethan Hawke has been since The Purge first came out, it’s a wonder that he was able to scoop up a scorcher like Thurman. Realistically, given the height difference, she probably scooped him up, but that’s not the point. This sort of relationship has got to really make short guys appreciate that they can really find lovely ladies who are pretty well out of their league, even though they have to ask for an extra phone book so they can look their lover in the eyes over dinner.
12. Peter Dinklage & Erica Schmidt
First of all, I think it’s safe to say that Peter Dinklage is a fairly short man. He is probably one of the most famous men under four feet tall who has ever lived. It also happens that he is a loving husband and father. Those of you who watch Game of Thrones might not have actually known that. It’s not like he hides his family away, it’s just that a lot of people aren’t interested in his family. They’re interested in what Tyrion Lannister will do next. I don’t want to be too crude here, but I have to say that he is the perfect height for his wife (for reasons that should be obvious and that I won’t detail here). And if you’re an averagely short guy, I think it’s safe to say that you can’t really complain all that much. Sure, you’re probably not as good of an actor, but you likely have at least a foot on Dinklage.
11. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes…And So On, And So On…
Tom Cruise is nuts. He’s a good actor but he’s batsh*t crazy. He’s pretty well the biggest celebrity that the crackpot church of Scientology has. Good for them. Seriously, it is good for them. So good that they hold auditions for Tom Cruise’s next girlfriend or wife. They’ve done this several times for the superstar. And he’s landed some pretty great WAGs through it all. Most notably, he’s landed Katie Holmes out of the deal. And sure, their breakup was pretty intense but you’ll notice that she didn’t reveal all that much about his personal life. Same with Nicole Kidman. I guess what I’m saying is if you’re short, join a crazy church, make yourself useful to them and they’ll back you up by giving you women and covering up your crazy as best they can.
10. Kevin Hart & A Few Ladies (Who Aren’t His Wife)
To be fair to the heading of this entry, one of the women in the above photo is Kevin Hart‘s wife. However, one of them is not, and he was caught sneaking around with this other woman around 5 am one early morning. Now, I don’t really care when celebrities screw around. They pretty well all do, and it just makes me accept that they’re sort of scumbags. That’s fine. You’ll notice that this photo has been doctored to fit all three people in it, right? But take a look at the height differences. That’s about accurate. Kevin Hart is damn short. Not as short as Peter Dinklage, but he’s not far off. So, if any of you short guys are worried, just know that you can not only have a wife, but you could probably score someone to cheat on her with…if you’re that kind of scumbag anyway.
9. Joe Jonas & Sophie Turner
Well, it’s no surprise to anyone here who the more famous celebrity is. Sophie Turner is just stunning as well as a wonderful actor. Sure, a lot of people hate her character of Sansa Stark, but you can’t say it’s because she’s poorly acted. It’s just because the nature of her character is annoying as f*ck. Either way, Joe Jonas is one short guy. Sophie is not all that tall, but Joe is still shorter anyway. It’s true that he was one of those teenage heartthrobs not all that long ago, but I think most people find him to be sort of a douchebag because of that. And doesn’t that just give you short guys out there who have to stand up straight to read this article from your computer screen a little more hope than you had before? I think it should.
8. Seth Green & Clare Grant
Now, you see, this is another very interesting way in which a short guy can find some hope in his love life. You see, Seth Green has pretty well never been out of work and he’s done quite a bit of big-name stuff…but I would never consider him an A-lister in Hollywood. You know? He’s not Brad Pitt, right? That being said, a lot of what he’s done appeals to the very nerdy side of people and he has clearly scored a very nerdy girlfriend. Given that likely half of the people reading this (at least) spend the majority of their lives online playing games, reading ridiculous articles and swiping right in hopes for love, it makes me think that the short among you might very well luck out in some sort of nerdy relationship like that of Seth Green and Clare Grant.
7. Aziz Ansari & Jennifer Lawrence
The ending of this story is kind of sad for Aziz, but there was a time when everyone thought that Aziz Ansari and Jennifer Lawrence were going to be a thing. They had a very famous date on Valentine’s Day. Not that there was a big show or anything…it’s just the fact that they went on a date and the paparazzi caught them. However, once Ansari started sending some pretty suggestive texts and emails to Lawrence it became clear to her that she had to stick him in the infamous friend zone. I suppose the moral of the story is that it’s good to be funny, but don’t become the “funny man” for a superstar. She’ll love you, but not in the way you want. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t hope! After all, he did still score a date with one of the hottest women in Hollywood.
6. Pharrell Williams & Helen Lasichanh
Ok, I’ve got to be totally honest here…Pharrell’s other half does not look too happy to be at the Grammys. Neither does Pharrell either. This must have been any year that Happy didn’t come out. It’s not like he’s the best musician in the world. But, in spite of being about half a foot shorter than his girl (at least while she’s in heels), he still manages to get some. And you just know that he’s up all night to get lucky. So, maybe that’s what short people have to do…be up all night to get some. I think there’s an easier answer that can give you some hope. Just say that you’re a musician. You’d be amazed at how well that works. I have to point out again that Pharrell does fairly well, and he pretty well only says that he’s a musician.
5. Verne Troyer & Ranae Shrider
For those of you who are short…I’m willing to be that you’re not under three feet tall. Well, Verne Troyer is only about 2ft 8″. So, first off I would have to say…stop complaining about being short. Secondly, I think it’s safe to say that you have a decent amount of hope if Troyer is landing someone like Shrider. I mean, things didn’t end up happy for the couple overall, but hey…at least Troyer got to sue her for $20 million. That’s right. Shrider might have said a few things she shouldn’t have when they split and apparently that was $20 million worth of bad-mouthing. All she really said (that anyone remembers) is that Troyer was a sex maniac. I don’t see how that is worth $20 million. I’m sure the short guys reading this understand. They’d want all they could get if they scored a tall, hot, model-looking girl.
4. Benji Madden & Paris Hilton & Cameron Diaz
First of all…all I have to say is that this short guy is very, very lucky. Why? Actually not because he’s short. I think short people just make themselves think they can’t get any. No, this short guy is lucky because he was in the band Good Charlotte and he still managed celebs who were way out of his league. I mean, sure, it’s most likely that Paris Hilton was still in her party and rebellion phase where she didn’t really give a sh*t who or what she slept with. But this guy married Cameron Diaz. I don’t even know how something like that is possible. So, hey…I guess this proves something very important. Not only can you be short and still score. You can be a short, angsty, douche bag musician who shouldn’t have a hope in hell with a Hollywood starlet…and still score.
3. Jason Statham & Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Realistically, both Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley are the same height. But that’s often an issue for short guys as well. Why is that? Well, women often wear heels (especially when going to big outings and award shows, which happen all the time with celebs). So, pretty well any time these two are out in public at a big event, Whiteley is at least four inches taller than Statham. That’s pretty hilarious to me, simply because he’s one of the action star greats now. I guess Bruce Lee and Jet Li were also pretty damn short though. I think I just wanted to show off Whiteley’s outfit to those short guys who think they have no chance. You can still manage a woman your same height. You just have to make sure you’re both comfortable when she towers over you in heels.
2. George Clooney & Stacy Keibler
I don’t even know how this happened. Stacy Keibler was one of the hottest women to ever enter the WWE ring. And that’s saying a lot! I’m sure there are many men going over this who would agree. And apart from that, George Clooney is pretty old. And he was definitely old enough when dating Keibler. I bet he couldn’t believe his luck…or couldn’t believe how happy he was that he had such a thick wallet. Either way, Stacy is no stranger to showing off her body and her height. Her long legs are one of her best features so she puts them on display whenever she can. I have to say that finding a woman who is so proud of her height has got to be a great score. Especially if she doesn’t mind if you’re short. That’s got to give some of you hope. You can be old and short and starting to wrinkle…and still score.
1. Deryck Whibley & Ariana Cooper
Ok, I just can’t believe this got even as far as a wedding. I mean besides the fact that this former Sum 41 star spells his first name “Deryck”, he also has a ridiculous hairdo, is only 5’7″, and has been ruined by drug abuse. The fact that he married a super hot supermodel is saying a lot for short people everywhere. You can be one hell of a scumbag and still make it out ok with the ladies. I mean, considering how unfamous Whibley is, you may as well say that you can just be a regular, average short guy and you’ll still be totally fine picking up the ladies. I think it’s safe to say that there is more than enough hope to go around for short guys of all heights. Even if you’re only in the two-foot range. There is no height where you can’t meet someone to love.
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