There are a ton of drunken celebrity pics out there, but the funniest ones are when the person can’t even stand up. And it’s not like we’re judging here, folks. We’ve all been drunk to the point of stumbling. Even people who don’t consider themselves big drinkers have experienced the dizzying effects of booze. We may have even woken up the next day with a sore knee and thought to ourselves, “How did that happen?” However, most of us were fortunate not to have the paparazzi watching us while we partied.
This list displays only the goofiest of crash landings, stumbles, and drunken expressions of some of our favorite celebrities. In doing research for this piece, we noticed a couple of patterns. First, it appears that British celebs have the most fun. They like to get drunk and they’re not afraid to show it. There are also some social instigators out there who not only have their own glory pics but also end up in many pictures of various other celebs getting drunk. And female singers, for some reason, tend to drink a lot as well.
So enjoy this list, have a few laughs, and feel good about yourself. Hopefully, you haven’t been this wasted in a while. But odds are, you may be soon, since the holidays are rapidly approaching.
15. Paris Hilton
This woman certainly shows up at every party in Hollywood. She is probably the most social instigator around. She appears in drunken shots of Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and several others. It seems like if you want to party, just give old Paris a call. Here she is in prime form, toppled over, onto all fours, and looking extremely drunk. There were many pictures of Paris falling, but this one was by far our favorite. Many celebs just fall because they get dizzy, but here, it seems like Paris was meaning to do something. Was she getting drunk and showing off a new yoga move? Maybe this was back when she dated NFL pro Brian Urlacher, and she was proving she could do a four-point stance. Or maybe she just fell and savored the hilarious process of standing back up.
14. Katy Perry
Here we have a celebrity with a much rarer appearance on the drunk circuit. She is obviously falling down in this one, but it was a rare image to dig up. Everybody gets drunk or has some drug of choice, and many celebs prefer to party where the paparazzi does not hang out. Katy threw caution to the wind on this night, though. Maybe this was after her divorce from Russell Brand. Or maybe this took place after ending her relationship with John Mayer. John shows up in many drunk shots too, but rarely is he ever drunk enough to nearly fall in public. George Clooney is a big drinker too, but rarely to the point of clumsiness. You’ve got to factor in the high heels too. For beautiful women like Katy, walking on these stilt shoes after a few cocktails has to be a far greater challenge than wingtips.
13. Ed Sheeran
Yes! Our first British star on the list. Like we mentioned in the intro, the UK folks know how to get the party rolling. Add this popular musician into the mix and it’s a guaranteed drunk shot. Look at this guy. He looks like he is falling. Thankfully, he has a mate to stand him back up. Of course, we knew Ed likes to drink. How many of his song lyrics mention booze? “When your legs don’t work like they used to before.” Well, that lyric pertains to older age, but maybe not. “Me and my friends have not thrown up in so long, oh how we’ve grown.” That’s a good lyric. I guess the words “so long” are relative, aren’t they? So long could mean years, months, or, in Ed’s case, maybe a day or two. Ed crashed his bike recently and broke his arm when he was drunk and took several months off work to heal. Since then, he’s spoken about substance abuse and has tried to behave better.
12. Tara Reid
We still love Tara Reid, don’t we? There are many fans out there who remember her fondly from the American Pie days and are rooting for her success in the Sharknado films. We don’t watch Sharknado; that would be idiotic. But yes, we are happy that Tara found some work. She is another one of those celebs that you Google, “Drunk famous fall,” and like a million images instantly pop up. This is a good thing. Then we can be choosy and select the funniest one. In many shots, Tara looks very confused and sometimes even nauseous, but in this pic, she seems to be having a drunken moment of clarity. You ever have those? It’s like when you’re really drunk and totally out of it, but then you suddenly notice something, which causes you to question everything. In this case, she’s like, “Why am I on the floor? How did this happen?” Seconds later, she had another sip and forgot this ever happened.
11. Christina Aguilera
This shot isn’t exactly falling down material, but that’s because she made it to the car just in time. Christina is feeling great and giving us the kissy face. Either that or she touched up her lipstick and passed out. There are a few shots on this list of celebrities that are drunk in cars. Thankfully, none of them are driving. There are also many shots of so-called bubblegum musicians. Like, the girls that grew up in the spotlight and then tried to make a grownup version of themselves also succeed in the industry. Not an easy task by any means and results in partying. Christina made a tiny comeback on The Voice. She was by far the worst coach, though, so she looked somewhat foolish. Her latest move is the 25th Anniversary tribute of the classic Whitney Houston songs from The Bodyguard, performed at the AMAs on Sunday.
10. The Royals, Will & Kate
Why in the world wouldn’t you do this every weekend if you were royalty? Why wouldn’t you do it everyday? What else do these people do anyway? Of course, they represent a rich history of wealth, oppression, and colonialism, but they don’t deal with that stuff now. They are basically the UK mascots, right? What is their purpose? Surely, we’re just joking around, but we do kind of wonder. We know that they make appearances at charitable events and meet foreign dignitaries. We also know that right now, Will and Kate are quite busy raising a family. They already have two kids and a third is on the way. Kate told the press that Will had a hard time settling into fatherhood at first, but he’s gotten better. They’ve also heard scary Al-Qaeda rumors that their son was targeted. On the lighter side, there’s the ongoing battle of Will and his male pattern baldness. Trump come-over time?
9. Jessica Simpson
We mentioned Xtina and the girl-turned-woman struggle in pop music. Well, here’s another star with the same battle and the same way to cope. How drunk are these stars anyway? It looks like Jess is about ready to fall over. Do you think she remembers even being photographed? For some stars, paparazzi must be so routinely by now. Kind of like when you go to the grocery store and run into your neighbor. You say hi and keep going, pretty much forgetting that you saw your neighbor since you’re so used to seeing him. Well, the paparazzi are the neighbors in that analogy. Imagine getting so used to the flashbulbs that it doesn’t really register that they’re present. Then you go and get hammered and your awareness is even weaker. Next thing you know, you wake up and see the tabloids and go, “Oops!” Well, at least there were no wardrobe malfunctions involved to complicate matters.
8. Lady Gaga
Here’s another star that lives off of publicity. She can get drunk and fall down and you don’t know if she’s truly drunk, or if it’s another one of her weird attention-grabbing tricks. We looked at several drunk pics of the star, but she was so hard to read. For example, Gaga was at a Yankees game. And she was seen drinking and causing a raucous. She had her jersey wide open, exposing a black bra underneath, and she probably wasn’t wearing any pants. Then, Jerry Seinfeld came over, introduced himself, and she snubbed him like, “Who’s this old dude?” Of course, she knows who Seinfeld is. Everybody over the age of 20 knows that guy, right? His show is on reruns constantly. This reaction to him questions her credibility. Was she really drunk or not? You know what? She probably was drunk. Why not? It’s not like she has anything better to do. How often do musicians work on something that wouldn’t be aided by a little booze?
7. Lindsay Lohan
Okay, we laid off of Britney and tried to resist putting Lindsay on this list too. We tried really, really hard. It seems almost cliche to mention Lohan when you’re talking about drunk celebs…or failed celebs; or just generally insane people. But, here she is. We had to do it. She’s a classic! Just look at her falling down. She is in such an awkward body position. Look at those legs. How is that even possible? Here’s the other thing to notice about this shot—where is the photographer standing? He or she is awfully close to Lohan, right? Like the dude should have reached out to help the poor girl. Instead, he/she snapped a shot to be sold to some awful tabloid. On second look, maybe it is the photog reaching out to help Lohan. Good. She needs all the help she can get.
6. Mel Gibson
Mel is one of the biggest jerks of Hollywood. But guess what? He’s back and better than ever. First, Hacksaw Ridge was an Oscar-nominated film. And now, he stars in the family Christmas film, Daddy’s Home 2. Look, we know there are a ton of accusations flying around Hollywood right now. Of course, we’re talking about Weinstein, Spacey, Hoffman, and a slew of others getting outed lately for harassment and worse. Although Mel Gibson’s offenses were never close to r*pe, he did totally harass a female police officer. The point to be made here is sadly, Hollywood has a short memory. Don’t be surprised if half of the dudes being accused right now don’t lay low for a while and then make a recovery. This shot is Mel from a few years back. He sports the all gray hair now and a bushy beard, and he must stay home when he gets obliterated.
So, how’s the list doing so far? There are some big names here, right? Who looks like the most fun to party with? It seems like musicians are getting drunker than actors. Many of the acts do the double threat like Beyonce. She has starred in a number of films, like Dream Girls and that Austin Powers flick, but her prowess in the music field far exceeds her acting credits. She’s another musician who mentions getting drunk in her songs. And those songs were probably written while she was drunk. If you like to sing or play an instrument, you’ve probably discovered that it’s a lot more fun after a drink or two, especially when you’re up in front of a crowd and there might be some anxiety to lessen. Look at Jay-Z in this shot. Seems content, doesn’t he? He seems very happy and almost proud that he didn’t get too hammered like B.
4. Matt LeBlanc
Friends is still a really popular show. Thanks to the constant reruns, the Netflix presence, and the writing/acting that has stood the test of time, Friends isn’t going away soon. We can watch Joey and his antics for years to come. Matt LeBlanc stars in other stuff too, but he’s known only as Joey to the vast majority of us. And if you know that character, then you know that the dude likes to eat, laugh, screw, and drink. That might even be the order of his preference. Joey looks much older now than how we remember him on Friends. His hair is much grayer, but he looks great compared to other cast mates. Chandler looks like something the cat dragged in. Good lord. And then, there’s poor Monica with the plastic surgery crap. Rachel, aka Jen Aniston, showed up on The Gong Show with some flared-up injections as well.
3. Hilary Duff
Hilary is yet another kid star who likes to get drunk. Of course, she never went off the deep end, like many kid stars did. Hilary likes drinking but stays out of legal trouble, which is the way you’re supposed to do it. So, do you guys have the DisneyNow app yet? They’ll start showing the old Lizzie McGuire reruns soon. You can watch the old episodes and relive your youth. You probably shouldn’t watch too many, though. Like most of the stuff you liked as a kid, you try watching it as an adult, and it’s like, “Man, this stuff is dumb.” Some shows hold up better than others. The aforementioned Friends holds up pretty well. You get to understand even more jokes, like the s*xual innuendo, that once went over your head. Oh, and you better get the app soon. In 2019, all Disney stuff will leave Netflix and DisneyNow will become its own streaming service.
2. Kiefer Sutherland
Holy cow! This guy is a maniac. There are unreal photos of this dude getting hammered. The shots are all taken from at least a decade ago, so let’s hope he got some help because dude was out of control. There are shots of Sutherland tumbling down the sidewalk. There are pics of him mid-fall and doing that sideways stumble before an inevitable crash. He is certainly blacked out, not remembering anything the next day. He can be seen sitting at a restaurant, having a sober-up, late-night meal, and he is clearly off his rocker because his pants and underpants are on the floor. What? How on earth did that happen, bro? What possessed you to do that? He must have some really awful friends who get him all wasted and then dare him to do dumb stuff. Either that or he instigated it and is just plainly out of his mind. This drunk dude is a long way away from his Mr. Serious self on 24.
1. Amy Poehler
Well, this is a star-studded shot if I’ve ever seen one. How many A-listers mugged for this one? Bill Murray pops into view right away. Then, there’s Andy Samberg, Adam Scott, Bill Hader, Paul Rudd, Nick Offerman, and his wife, Megan Mullally. And who on earth is that drunken goofball they are lifting up off the ground? That is none other than Amy Poehler. She may not be so wasted that she can’t stand. She is probably just trying to be funny because that’s kind of her thing. But there were definitely some drinks being devoured before this scene. Even if you’re a professional comedian, nobody says, “Hey guys, lift me up,” unless you’ve had at least four cocktails. And not only is Amy feeling fine, but what about her buddies? She must weigh like 99 pounds and this many dudes can’t keep her aloft long enough to snap a photo. Seems like everybody in this shot is having a wonderful evening. Cheers!
Souces: IMDb, Wikipedia, People
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