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15 Of The Wildest Obama Conspiracy Theories

15 Of The Wildest Obama Conspiracy Theories

via YouTube

Of all the presidents in the history of our country, there is no doubt that there have been far more conspiracy theories regarding Barack Obama than any other president. It’s been a long 8 years with Obama as president, longer for some of us than others. Throughout these years there have been tons of wild conspiracy theories about Obama. I am sure you know the ones that are most common: Obama is actually a Muslim bent on destroying the USA; he is not a U.S citizen because he was born in Kenya; he has no US birth certificate; the person that he claims is his father isn’t his father, and so on.

If you know all of those, big deal, you are just an average, run of the mill conspiracy theorist, but those are just the tip of the iceberg. If you have not done so already, it is time to step up your Obama conspiracy theory game. Pretty much anyone could have come up with the whole Muslim thing, but to allege the things that you are about to read on this list? Well that takes skill, as well as a whole lot of cojones.

Here are the Top 15 Obama conspiracy theories of all time. Beware: these are some of the most strangest conspiracies we’ve found circulating the Internet. TheRichest by no means accepts these conspiracies to be true.

15. He Thanked Satan


As you can see from this video which now has over 5 million views, when Obama kept saying “Yes we can” in his 2008 election night speech, he was really saying “Thank you Satan.” At least that is what he is supposedly saying when one listens to the audio of the tape backwards. There is no actual word on why Obama would come up with a phrase that sounded like “Thank You Satan” backwards, I guess those Satanists not only like worshipping the devil, but they like to rub it in our faces as well! Those tricky Satanists! The same video claims that Obama used backwards speech to say things like “Woman don’t add, it’s God’s name – marker will lash you.” I don’t know what that means, but it sounds super awful.

14. He Was Going to Cancel Elections


There was a rumor going around that Obama was going to cancel the 2016 election and install himself a dictator for life. I am sure there are a fair amount of people out there now that actually wish that happened. Ben Carson who ran for president himself came out and said what was going on in our country “could lead to civil unrest that could, in turn, lead to the cancellation of the 2016 Presidential Election altogether. Furthermore, Dr. Carson believes that should this happen, President Obama will have reason to implement Martial Law, thus suspending most, if not all of Americans’ constitutional rights.” It looks like Mr. Carson may have been just a tad hysterical about this whole thing. President Trump anyone?

13. His Wife Is A Man


Although it doesn’t have to do with Obama is much as it does his wife Michelle, this one is my personal favorite. Michelle Obama is a man. That’s right, you heard me. A man. Not only that but when Joan Rivers made a joke about it, Obama had her killed. This is not all that rare of a theory believe it or not. Check out what Alex Jones had to say, “the famous comedienne Joan Rivers said, ‘Of course everyone knows she’s a tranny.’ She’s dead serious, ‘She’s a man.’ Deader than a doornail in a routine operation where basically she had fire poured down her throat and was a fire-breathing goblin. Dead on arrival. Shoot your mouth off, honey, you will die.” So I suppose now that I wrote this article, I need to watch my back.

12. He Threatened to Kill Chelsea Clinton


Anyone Obama conspiracy theorist worth his salt knows that if you mess with Obama, it is very possible you might die. So Chelsea Clinton, you best watch your back. This whole thing came about because Bill and Hillary Clinton  found out that Obama was actually Kenyan which obviously would mean he could not be President. So to keep the Clintons from running their big yaps , agents of Obama told them  not to say anything about it because otherwise Barack Obama was going to murder Chelsea Clinton. See what I mean about Obama? That dude is cold. You mess with the bulls and you get the horns. I may be wrong about this but I doubt that Chelsea lost a whole lot of sleep worrying about Obama coming after her.

11. He Wants To Kill All Of Us


The thing is though, he doesn’t just want to kill Chelsea Clinton, he wants to kill you too. Well not you personally, he basically wants to kill all of us.  A guy named Jim Garrow, who claims to be an ex CIA agent said that Obama wanted to “to devastate all computer related systems on the continent thus taking America back 200 years and guaranteeing a total breakdown in society and within one year the death of 300 million Americans.” One of the coolest things about claiming to be an ex CIA agent is that no one can prove that you aren’t because the whole thing is secret. You can’t just call up and say “Hey, is Jim Garrow a CIA agent,” because you know, that would ruin the whole surprise if he was. As a matter of fact, I am an ex CIA agent. See how easy that was?

10. He Had Brain Surgery


So for some reason Obama had brain surgery, which removed a part of his cranium plates which was replaced with implants that are sadly not working correctly. We can tell this by his hair pattern and that he stammers a little bit. Alright, so I have to say, this is the whole thing that makes these things so fun. The thought process goes something like this. “Hey look, Obama’s hair grows kind of funny.” Then goes quickly to this: “I bet he had brain surgery.” Then goes to “Hmm, they must have replaced part of his brain with complex robotic circuitry, I can tell by the fact that he stammers a little.” But the coolest part of all of this, is no one can probe those people wrong, so who knows? Maybe Obama is an actual robot.

9. He Married a Dude


Obama went to occidental college in Los Angeles. He also had a roomie when he was there. Those two things are totally true. What is a conspiracy theory is that Obama is not only totally gay, but he and his roomie got married. What proof do we have? Basically, Obama and the other dude looked comfy together in photos and supposedly Obama was wearing a wedding ring, The leader of this theory is a guy named Jerome Corsi  who said He’s not married, as far as we know, unless of course this is a love affair with his Pakistani male roommate…I’ve not seen a lot of roommate pictures where two guys are that chummy.”

So there you go, chummy with roommate equals totally married to him. Good enough for me.

8. He Has Killed A Whole Bunch of People


So on a list like this it may go without saying, but supposedly Obama has killed a whole bunch of people over the years. If you wish to see who, then just check out this list. But only if you have a few hours, because there are hundreds of people on it. It is pretty apparent that Obama is a bad man. Some of the highlights of people he has killed are Whitney Houston and Tom Clancy. When it came to Whitney Houston how did it happen? Glad you asked, apparently “She was injected with a substance in her butt, she saw the shadow of a needle when she was on her hotel room bed and got paranoid because when she turned around, no one was there”. Whoa, that is terrifying. Chelsea Clinton, you better guard your butt.

7. He Was Teleported to Mars


Well of course Obama has been to Mars, why not? According to Andrew Basiago, who had one of the most amusing presidential runs in 2016, Barack Obama was 19 years old and going  under the name “Barry Soetoro” when the CIA recruited him  to go to Mars so he could protect Earth from from threats by aliens. Soetoro, AKA Obama, was sent to Mars through teleportation.  This might see a little odd to you but Basiago knows his stuff, in fact according to him “he once traveled back in time to 1863 and witnessed Abraham Lincoln’s speech at Gettysburg. He also says he’s been to the future, 2054 specifically”. Pro tip: never doubt a time traveler.

6. He Plans to Bring Tons of Muslims to America


So the whole “Obama is a Muslim” thing does not exist in a vacuum of course. I mean what would be the point of spreading that rumor if there wasn’t some plot behind it. Oh and there is, in fact there are too many of them to sum up here in this space. Some of them are that Obama is going to seize a large parcel of land and give it all to Muslims; another is that he is planning on bringing  millions of Muslim women  to the country to be “breeding vessels.” This way the Illuminati, which Obama is a member of obviously, will have a way to eventually phase out Christians, and will give Obama a mighty army for when he decides to take over the country for good and become its dictator for life. Obama, why you gotta be so evil?

5. He was part of a Plot to Bring Ebola to the U.S


Speaking of evil, remember Ebola, the flesh eating virus that was totally going to kill all of us, until it didn’t? Who could be behind that? You guessed it, thanks for the ebola Obama. He needed a way to punish and destroy all of us good Americans; what better way than to import a little ebola? According to Rush Limbaugh: “President Barack Obama is refusing to divert flights from Ebola-infected countries and close down America’s borders because he believes that the nation “deserves” to be infected with the virus given its history of perpetuating slavery.” I have to tell you, before I started researching this article I thought Obama was halfway okay, but now? A little less than half. Thanks Obama.

4. He Was Going to Take Over Texas


Ever hear of Jade Helm 15?  It is one of the better ones out there.  “There are mysterious meetings, strange maps, reports of missile batteries being set up and even the closing of stores and confiscation of private property. And all of it happening under the guise of a mysterious, sinister sounding code name: Jade Helm 15.” Pretty scary right? I am pretty freaked out right now.  Apparently it was a secret mission that Obama started to attempt to take over Texas. I have to tell you something about this particular theory though. It might be a secret to some of the people that live there, but Texas is a part of the United States already, Obama doesn’t actually have to “take it over.” Ssh. Don’t tell anyone.

3. Obama is a Reptilian


So this is a good one. Obama is a reptilian. According to “4% of voters say they believe “lizard people” control our societies by gaining political power.” If you look around the net you will see how many people think this of Obama, that he is a lizard person. Now this may not seem like a lot, 4 percent and all. But say you go to a Red Sox game and there are 30,000 people there, this means that at that particular game, in that physical space, there are over 1,000 people that believe that lizard people control the United States government. In fact there are going to be thousands of people that read this article that are saying right at this moment – “yeah…and your point is?”

2. Obama is the Son of Malcolm X


Did you know that Obama was the son of Malcom X, who is a well known as a civil rights agitator? Well it has to be true, I mean look at that chin. If that is not proof positive I don’t know what is. According to this the thing is not about him being born in Kenya as a Muslim “it is about him being born in New York the son of Malcolm X . Do you suppose that the illegitimate son of known criminal and ex-con, who also happened to be a devout hate-filled Muslim, by the name Malcolm X, could ever become president of the United States of America?” Man, Obama is sure sneaky. If there is one thing that we know for sure about Donald Trump, it is that he is not the son of Malcolm X. Thank God.

1. Obama is an Alien Who Eats Babies


Okay I have to be honest about something. I just made this one up off the top of my head. I am not going to bother Googling it, but I imagine if I did I would find quite a few “Obama is an alien” posts, probably not so many about him eating babies. Still though, it says something when I just make something up off the top of my head and it does not sound nearly as ridiculous as some of the other things out there. While I am sure there will be some good conspiracy theories out there about Trump, there is no way he is going to beat Obama when it comes to the sheer number of them and how silly a lot of them are. We still have a month left, so there might be a few more before his term is up, I sure hope so anyway.

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