It’s amazing how much explicit stuff you can get away with on regular network television. Whether it’s a gruesome crime scene, a gritty strip club setting, or a NSFW joke about oral favors, TV writers will try to sneak in whatever it takes to increase ratings.
This great list is a collection of some unbelievable screenshots, taken directly from the television sitcom Two and a Half Men. We did not doctor any of these shots. This is how they actually appeared while airing on CBS. These very hot images were shown while your grandpa was flipping channels, from his westerns, to local news, to game shows. Did he stop to look when he came across some of the hotties on this list? You bet he did.
Two and a Half Men has a well-deserved reputation for being one of the raunchiest shows on TV. The over-saturation of s*xual innuendo can be corny at times, but we still love it. When we watch the reruns, the most impressive thing we notice is the casting. There are some hot, often famous women, who made cameos throughout the series while scantily dressed. You may be surprised that everybody from Mila Kunis to Brooke Shields has starred on the show at one time or another. Here are the naughtiest screenshots of the hottest babes to ever appear on the hilarious show.
20. Jennifer Taylor & Tricia Helfer
We’re not quite sure what is going on in this scene, but we are assuming that there is some type of lesbian angle and it seems to involve the crucial moments before a three-way. The brunette is Jennifer Taylor and the blonde is Tricia Helfer. An interesting fact about Taylor (née Bini) is that she appeared as four different characters over the course of the show’s run. Her longest role was Chelsea Melini, in which she seduced Charlie in a number of lingerie ensembles. The blond, Helfer, many sci-fi fans may recognize from Battlestar Galactica. She also appeared on the pages of Playboy, which she has in common with few other Two and a Half Men alums.
19. Malea Rose & Rachele Brooke Smith
This screenshot features Malea Rose (left) and Rachele Brooke Smith (right). It’s Halloween and Rose is dressed as Harry Potter, while Smith dons the all-time classic costume of a dirty cop. Most dudes just love Halloween, because many women, like Smith here, tend to take a regular boring occupation and turn it into something very promiscuous. Even Harry Potter, who most guys would never dream of fantasizing about, gets the sexy treatment here, complete with glasses, and sans lightning bolt scar. Why she didn’t just dress as Hermione, you’ve got me. At the edge of the shot, Alan is dressed as Duckie. For those of you who didn’t know, Jon Cryer first became famous in the eighties, playing the role of Duckie, Molly Ringwald’s boy buddie in the John Hughes classic, Pretty in Pink.
18. Brooke D’Orsay
Brooke is another beautiful woman who played more than one hot character over the course of the sitcom’s run. Brooke was first featured on the show in 2007 as Robin, then appeared in 2012 as Kate, and then reprised her role as Kate in 2014. She starred in eight episodes in total. In this scene she’s looking gorgeous in a bikini with a tiny blue skirt. How many stunning bikinis graced that beachside deck, right? The number must be pretty high. In another episode, Kate throws her thong in Walden’s face and says she took them off in her car on the way over. Instead of going straight to bed with her, Walden admits that he’s fallen for somebody else, who happens to be played by Mila Kunis. Instead of understanding his predicament, Kate kicks Walden directly in the nuts, and he falls to the ground, writhing in pain.
17. Kelly Stables
This petite blonde bombshell in a tight white tank top played Melissa on the show. In this scene Alan is once again tortured by watching his brother Charlie, score with the hottest women in California. She talks to Alan briefly in the kitchen, until Charlie enters, spins her around and kisses her passionately. She shows off her rear end in a tight pair of undies, and Charlie gives her cheeks a little slap. Of course this is all more than Alan can handle and he sips his coffee wearing the (often used) depressed expression on his face. What makes the scene even more awkward is that Melissa is Alan’s receptionist at work. She talks about carpooling with him since his car is in the shop. But first she has to take a shower, and of course Charlie mentions that he’ll join her in a second.
16. Deanna Russo
In this image we see one of the most blatantly obvious innuendos that can possibly occur on network television. That’s Deanna Russo lapping up a popsicle with Walden. Deanna plays Laurel, who admits in this scene that she hasn’t done the deed in way too long. Then she does this move with her frozen dessert, and Walden is all smiles. He simply exclaims, “I love popsicles!” Needless to say, Walden ends up landing Laurel into bed. Deanna appeared in three episodes of the show, and her resume isn’t much besides that, which is surprising since her light blue eyes and dark hair give her a truly stunning and memorable look. The actress has appeared in several TV series pilots that have failed. Hopefully soon she can find some longer lasting success.
15. Stephany Jacobsen
This was a funny scene, and one that occurred during one of the show’s darker episodes. This is Stephany Jacobsen in an orange and gold bikini. She plays Penelope, a character who randomly arrives at the back door one morning. What’s dark about this, is that she’s looking for Charlie, who just died. Alan explains to her that his brother passed unexpectedly, and Penelope is rather saddened by the news. At that moment Walden, Charlie’s replacement character, enters wearing only a towel. Suddenly Penelope isn’t so sad anymore and instantly begins to flirt with Walden. It’s funny how the show transitioned from one character to another while keeping the same set, and in this case, the same girlfriends. Most of the details of this transition were extremely far-fetched, but nobody cared. Character and setting details always came second to the innuendo jokes that the sitcom thrived on.
14. Miley Cyrus
Here’s a great shot of what appears to be Miley Cyrus removing her bikini top. This is a pretty hot picture and we can let our imaginations run away with the scene. Of course, it wouldn’t get too raunchy. Maybe she’s tying the bikini on instead of taking it off. CBS had to draw the line somewhere. Not to say that Miley didn’t walk around the set topless. Maybe she did. This was during one of her rebellious phases. An interesting note on this one is that her old costar from Hannah Montana, Emily Osment, also appeared on Two and a Half Men. Seems that they were both trying to shed the Disney image, and found that a sexy sitcom was a great way to do it.
13. Jenny McCarthy
Here’s another hottie that many of us remember from the show. Jenny McCarthy is looking better than ever in this shot. She appears to be applying some spray-on sunscreen, while not so young anymore Jake (Angus T Jones) watches closely. As many of you may have heard, old Angus went through a slightly odd stage towards the end of this show. He renounced Hollywood, entertainment, and just about everything else, including shaving. The poor kid must have overdosed on s*x. There’s no other way to explain his behavior. He wasn’t necessarily having any, but always having to look at it and discuss it, and, when he was younger, “pretended” not to understand it. Man, that’s got to do a number on your brain. Here’s a prime example. One of the hottest Playmates to ever grace the pages within reach, but it’s all staged. Must have been mental torture. Angus is feeling better now though. He dropped the born-again stuff, shaved, and founded an event production business called Tonite with Sean Comb’s son, Justin.
12. Aly Michalka
Here’s a wonderful shot with Aly Michalka (right) and Amber Tamblyn. In this scene, they’re discussing beer pong and Aly says, “Check out these cups.” Then a ping pong ball is thrown poorly and winds up hitting Amber in the face. “Ow, a shot to the face,” she says. Although voicing it, both women seem disinterested in any male innuendo, since they are lesbian lovers. Even when Aly flashes the room, she does so in a way that is very disconnected, almost like she doesn’t know how hot she is, nor does she care. This is another example of how, sometimes, a screenshot can actually be hotter than the actual scene. We can come up with a much sexier context in our minds than what the scene actually presented. And when Michalka did flash us, it all took place in less than a second. But the screenshot makes it look like she held those babies out proudly for the world to see for at least a minute or two.
11. Alicia Witt
This scene is pretty hilarious from the beginning. Charlie is looking for an old ex of his and recognizes her by her rear end. Then he wants to talk business, so Charlie pays the stripper (Alicia Witt) to give Alan a lap dance while they discuss a tutoring gig. The redhead is beautiful, no doubt about that. But she did not do one bit of research into the role. Her style of stripping is way off. Jeez! All she had to do was watch a few hip hop videos. Instead of a slow grind, the girl is flapping around like she’s having a seizure on Alan’s lap. Of course Alan is so pathetic that he still gets off and has a few one-liners like, “Can I rearrange things a second? My car keys and I are planning a game of ring toss.”
10. Megan Fox
Here’s another big name who was on the show before her career really took off. Megan Fox played Prudence, the underage granddaughter of Berta, whom Charlie obviously wanted to bang but couldn’t. Later in the episode, Prudence enters the house in the middle of the night and says her grandma is mad at her. When asked why, her fiance, Freddy, enters the house. Interestingly enough, Freddie is played by Noel Fisher, who you may know as Mickey Milkovich on the Showtime dramedy Shameless. His one line was, “Sup,” said once to Alan and once to Jake. Earlier in the show, Fox looked stunning in a bikini, that Alan couldn’t help but ogle.
9. Hilary Duff
Hilary Duff showed up on the popular comedy after Ashton Kutcher had replaced Charlie Sheen. Of course, Walden was just a slightly tweaked version of Charlie. He was still attractive and had a knack for banging a new woman every week. When Hilary Duff came on the scene, she played the granddaughter of Taxi and Celebrity Apprentice alum Marilu Henner. The funny part was that it was not Duff who Walden wanted to get into the sack. It was her grandmother, Henner. Walden just used Duff to go on a double date with her granny. Then eventually, she even catches Walden in bed with granny. A normal person would be scarred for life but in the fictional world, it makes for great comedy. This screenshot features one of the reasons why Walden didn’t like the girl. Sure, she’s hot as hell, but a bit of a selfie addict.
8. Josie Davis
When your show runs for 12 seasons, you’re bound to have several Christmas episodes. This one in particular was by far the hottest. Notice the strategically placed white puff ball. That’s Josie Davis who played Sandy, one of Alan’s many psychotic and fleeting girlfriends. Sandy is a great cook, and the brothers like having her around. But pretty soon, they find out that she’s nuts. That’s the basic formula for many Two and a Half Men shows. Find something positive about a girl, then find something negative, and then the negative wins. It’s a pretty dark comedy if you think about it. And the guys aren’t perfect either. Josie Davis is a relatively unknown actress compared to many on this list, but she has definitely done the “hot girl role” rounds. She’s been on every sexy show from Baywatch to 90210. Her career spans from CSI and Bones, all the way back to Silk Stockings and Charles in Charge.
7. April Bowlby
According to some entertainment websites we often frequent, April Bowlby is ranked as the number one hottest Two and a Half Men lady ever. After looking at this pic, I couldn’t agree more She looks even better in action. April played the bubbly, not so smart, s*x-addicted young beauty named Kandi in 16 episodes. She started out with Charlie and wound up with Alan. Most of her lines are the most ridiculously obvious cliches you could ever imagine. April somehow delivers them in an innocent voice that makes most guys dream about her. Some ingenious lines include,”Are you sad? Want to look at my boobs?” She also compares sleeping with Charlie to riding Space Mountain at Disney World, whereas s*x with Alan is like riding in a car driven by a really smart kangaroo.
6. Alex Rose Wiesel & Kari Klinkenborg
Here’s a totally gratuitous bikini scene with two gorgeous actresses, Alex Rose Wiesel (left) and Kari Klinkenborg (right). Walden was all dressed up in some kind of weird nativity-themed scene on the beach, and these hotties just so happened to join him. Both of these women are stunning and they offer the classic “who’d you rather” scenario. While blondes usually gain more attention, I can’t keep my eyes off the brunette. Her body is flawless. Too bad, her career isn’t doing so well. According to IMDb, Kari Klinkenborg hasn’t done much at all since filming Two and a Half Men. She starred in The Bounce Back led by Criminal Minds’ Shelmar Moore, and that film didn’t go anywhere. As for her blonde companion, Alex Rose Wiesel has had a slightly more productive career, starring in Rachel Bilson’s Hart of Dixie, as well as a number of skits on Jimmy Kimmel.
5. Katherine LaNasa
Katherine LaNasa played Lydia, one of Charlie’s many girlfriends on the show. She has appeared in four episodes. They ended up breaking up because she reminded Charlie too much of his high-strung mother. She was still on his mind though, and appeared to him as a hallucination after Charlie smoked prescription marijuana. In this scene, Lydia is applying some sunscreen, which is a recurring theme on the show. Miley Cyrus, Brenda Koo, Jennifer McCarthy, and so many others have disrobed and been slobbered upon by Alan, Charlie, Jake, or Walden. This pretty blonde has a very long resume in both the film and television business. Although she starred in the Charlie years of Men, she appeared on the big screen with Ashton Kutcher and a dozen other big names in Valentine’s Day.
4. Kandi’s Audition
We had to include another shot of April Bowlby because the girl is just too hot. And Kandi, her dumb-dumb character, is as promiscuous as she is hot. In this scene, the show opens with Kandi bending over and practicing for her upcoming audition for a “CSI” crime-scene type of show. Unlike some screenshots on this list, the filmed version is actually better. April is bent over and jiggling around for seconds on end, totally playing to her alluring s*xuality. Then she stands up straight and whips off her glasses with a corny yet very attractive flair. Her audition is for a show called “Stiffs,” and Charlie and Jake share the obligatory p*nis jokes. When the guys sarcastically ask the hot dunce if she thinks she’ll land the scientist role, she replies that she’s not sure and doesn’t want to “put the cart before the whores.” Alan corrects her, “It’s horse.” Kandi replies, “Yes my voice is getting a little scratchy, I’ve been practicing all day.”
3. Diora Baird
Another hot blonde, with a pretty nice resume, Diora Baird is seen here showing off her cup size in red lingerie. She got pretty drunk in this episode and everybody had to help her out, even a young Jake. Diora Baird has some big assets as you may recognize from multiple films. She nearly stole the show when she stripped down in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. She showed off her twins again when she played the fleeting lover of Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers. And she couldn’t be hotter than we she played Kiki in the Justin Long and Jonah Hill film, Accepted. She has also starred as Meg in the showtime series Shameless. More recently, Baird starred in the much-hyped sultry comedy Telenovela starring Eva Longoria, which was surprisingly axed after one season.
2. Aly in Bed
Here we have a very outrageous screenshot. Aly Michalka is back on the list, this time in bed with her lesbian lover played by Amber Tamblyn. There are some tremendous oral implications in this scene. It begins with no faces, just movement under the bedspread. Amber emerges first and then Aly appears on the other end of the bed. Their dialog begins. Amber: “That was fun.” Aly: “Yeah, two thumbs up.” Amber: “I think it was more than that.” They kiss. “Thanks for letting me stay over,” Aly says. Amber replies, “Thanks for staying under.” Wow. This stuff just writes itself, huh? Any guesses what was happening under the sheets? Maybe it was way more innocent than we assume. Perhaps Amber was merely tickling Aly’s feet. As we know, many people have foot fetishes.
1. Charlie The Stud
This picture above represents the gist of the entire show in just one image. Here we have our hero, Charlie Harper, in the sack with…count them…one, two, three beautiful women. The scene starts with just blankets, no faces, and then each woman pops up her head one at a time. It’s a classic vaudeville gag, like a magician pulling handkerchiefs out of his pocket. Or the 25 clowns getting out of one tiny car at the circus. And that’s what we all like about the show. It was always so very familiar. The plot was predictable, the characters were shallow, the women were beautiful, the conflicts were trivial, the setting was paradise, and the end result was very entertaining.
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