If there is one thing in this world that defines wealth, it is a yacht. Yachts have got to be the most luxurious item, that only the richest of rich can afford. Private jets are expensive too, but at least they’re practical. They get you from point A to point B in a hurry. But yachts are just for floating around aimlessly, at an astounding price.
Boats in general are as pointless as they are expensive. If you, a normal dude, goes out and buys a nice twenty-foot powerboat (so you can water ski, tube or fish with your drunk buddies) that boat will cost hundreds of dollars-- just to fill the gas tank for one day of fun. Then you’re not even taking into account the price of docking the boat. Having a slip in a swanky marina costs more than your monthly rent. And then if the boat is in a cold climate, where does it get stored over the winter? And salt water will kill anything that sits in it too long, so you have to paint the craft at least once a year, and wash it like mad every time it leaves the water. There’s a funny old acronym for boat: Bust Out Another Twenty. And twenty nowadays is more like a hundred.
But I digress, these are the problems of an every-man’s boat. For the richest celebs, they don’t have to deal with the stresses of boat costs. Their biggest worry is choosing which bikini they’ll wear. Or maybe finding a friend to rub on their sunblock. Where did my sunglasses go? Rum or Tequila? Worries like that. Oh, to live the life of a celeb. They sure do look like they’re enjoying themselves sometimes, don’t they?
15 Kim Kardashian West
Here is a picture of Kim K. looking kind of bored on a yacht. It is just floating around for no reason, so I guess we can’t really blame her. She is probably thinking about how hot she looks, positioning her body just right, in order to look the best and get the highest number of hits on social media. But what’s with the shoes? If she jumps into the water, won’t high heels just kind of flip off her heels and sink to the bottom of the sea? I have a feeling she isn’t getting into the water today. Plus that would ruin her beautiful hair. And I’m not even sure if that swimsuit is waterproof. She may have bumped her head walking around in those heels, is that what she’s touching? When a boat lists, it can be hard to walk along the deck. So for next time, better shoes, Kim, but the suit looks great.
14 Jessica Biel
Jessica Biel has got to have one of the most toned bodies in all of the world. She always seems to be in shape and flawless in a bikini. Even after the birth of her son, Silas, Jessica Biel bounced right back and got that banging body, svelte as usual. It is interesting that hubby, Justin Timberlake, is not featured in this pic. If I was him I would never leave her side. But in reality, JT passed on Biel a couple times. He left her for other smokeshows though, including ScarJo and Olivia Munn. But Biel took him back and now it’s all water under the bridge, and the couple is happier than ever. In fact, when Irish magazine Heat alleged that JT was back to his old cheating ways, the pop singer/actor sued the magazine for defamation, and won the lawsuit.
13 Katy Perry
Katy Perry looks like she is having a blast on her yachting adventure. It appears as though she is doing a happy dance, or perhaps a twerk. Maybe working out the choreography for her next stage performance. Katy Perry always has the most visually spectacular live shows. When she did the Super Bowl a few years ago people were blown away. Even the dude in the shark outfit that danced beside her got famous. Katy is due for another tour, and an album. Lately she has been spending her time on political interests. She participated in the 2017 Women’s March in Washington, to protest the inauguration of Donald Trump. Her fellow artists were there as well. Names like Miley Cyrus, Madonna, Cher and Zendaya, to name a few, all dislike Trump quite a bit. Katy has come a long way since “I Kissed a Girl” and getting banned from Sesame Street for showing too much cleavage. Maybe her next album will have a more serious, political tone, rather that her usual zany antics.
12 Heidi Klum
Heidi Klum used to kill it on Sports Illustrated. She had the cover that made everybody go crazy and wonder where on earth this beauty came from. Then Heidi did the impossible feat which every model dreams of: she got older and stayed relevant. Heidi managed to successfully transition into television with her hit Project Runway. Years later Heidi became a judge on America’s Got Talent, and pretty much solidified her foothold on Hollywood. In this picture Heidi proves that she may be older but can still rock a bikini with the best of them. One word of advice though, is that she probably should have taken her sunglasses off before jumping in the shower. Now the glasses are going to get wet, dry, and then have those annoying spots on them. Maybe she had a rum punch or two and forgot she had them on.
11 Scarlett Johansson
This is Scarlett Johansson on a yacht, taken a few years ago, by a paparazzi with a zoom lens. We can tell it’s from far away, but it’s definitely ScarJo. Poor girl was probably trying to have some privacy out in the ocean, but that's hard to do sometimes when you’re as famous as she is. It’s amazing how certain actresses can rise above and find success that is overwhelming. There are millions of pictures of this woman and she’s not even putting them out there herself. She’s admitted to not liking social media and the only amateur shots of her are from hackers robbing her smartphone. ScarJo just has that “it” factor though, and it draws people to her. She’s got those big eyes full of expression and the curves that make every man look twice. Aside from all the fanboy attention however, ScarJo has received very little critical acclaim. The most prestigious award she has won is a Tony for some play nobody’s heard of.
Finally! Somebody looks like they are having some fun on this yacht. Here’s a hot bikini celeb who knows how to party. Rihanna has the snorkel gear on, and she’s gonna dive right in. She’s got the drinks all around, and has the mixers too. She’s yelling at somebody that probably just shot her with a squirt gun. Rihanna always seems to be genuine and that’s what we like about her. She may even be with family when this picture was taken, which always brings out the inner child in all of us. Rihanna is from Barbados, so tropical waters are home for her. She looks happy, comfortable and always hot in a skimpy black bikini. Lately Rihanna has changed her tone musically. Getting away from the dance-hall rhythms of her earlier albums, Rihanna’s single “Love on the Brain” is much more soulful, with a slower blues beat. It’s a different sound for her, but still very appealing.
9 Leonardo DiCaprio
This dude is the king of yachts. You cannot have an article about celebrities on yachts without mentioning this Oscar winner. Just look at this picture. How many models are hanging out with this dude? Most of them still have their shirts on, but as you can see, Leo is topless, as if to suggest, hey, why not? Another awesome detail of this photo is that there’s a bicycle. This yacht is so big that you can take a little bike ride if you want to. Amazing. While searching images online, many came up of Leo on a yacht while filming The Wolf of Wall Street. How great would it be to film that flick? Leo was perfect for the role, since all he does is hang out on a yacht all day anyway. Then Jonah Hill comes along, cast as Leo’s best bud, and actually worked for actor’s union minimum wage. Hanging out on a yacht surrounded by beautiful women is hardly what most people would call work, so I’m glad to see Jonah recognize that fact.
8 Salma Hayek
Salma is looking great in this combo pic of her yachting adventure. Seems that black bikinis are popular boat riding apparel. Salma has been around Hollywood for decades now, but she still looks great. If you have never seen Desperado you have to find a copy and watch it right away. The film directed by Robert Rodriguez, is probably his finest work, and it launched Salma’s career into the stratosphere. There is one hilarious scene where Salma walks along an intersection and she is so alarmingly hot and distracting that she causes a car accident. The film also stars Antonio Banderas as an outlaw who carries a guitar case full of weapons. And then there is a love scene that is about as hot as it gets. Lately Salma has stayed busy producing and acting in film. Her latest title How to Be a Latin Lover sounds great, but the plot is actually quite boring.
7 Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria (left) is another hottie that has drunk from the fountain of youth. Although she had been in Hollywood years prior, Eva made her big break on the steamy dramedy Desperate Housewives. Then she married NBA star Tony Parker, which was a bad idea. Pro athletes have a certain reputation of sleeping around, just look at Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods. Parker allegedly followed this example and divorce soon came for Eva. Since then the star has rebounded as is looking better than ever. She seems to be having the time of her life on this boat, jumping in the air and saying cheese, alongside her attractive friend who could pass as a sister. Eva’s latest project Telenova, had some great initial reviews but ended up being cancelled NBC due to poor ratings.
6 Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift is the undoubted queen of popular music lately. Even when an entire album isn’t released, she still shows up on the soundtrack for Fifty Shades Darker and kills it on a duet with Zayn. “I Don’t Want to Live Forever” has Taylor cooing in her sexiest track yet. Taylor has gradually matured throughout her career and this latest song might be a signal of what’s to come. Taylor has certainly had enough boyfriends to know the ins and outs of a bedroom. And her girlfriends as just as numerous. The famous Taylor Swift Girl Posse includes the likes of Kendall Jenner, Gigi Hadid, Selena Gomez and Karlie Kloss, among many others. This pic features a few posse members all having a great time on a boat. Taylor is the tallest and focal point of the picture, showing off her legs in the best angle, light and filter.
Beyonce and Jay Z have been known to do some serious yachting. They surely appreciate the privacy of the large seacraft, although the paparazzi is always close by. Also the Carters have been known to share their own boating memories via social media. This beautiful pic is of the Queen B herself taking in an awesome horizon, a wonderful view in more ways than one. The latest news on Beyonce is that she is pregnant. And not just any pregnancy-- she is expecting twins. Soon after the twins were announced Beyonce posted a picture of herself pregnant and very naked. The naked pregnant shot has become quite the trend, ever since Demi Moore popularized it on the cover of Vanity Fair way back in 1991. Annie Leibovitz was the photographer that took the shot, and who has since taken groundbreaking images like the coming out cover of Caitlyn Jenner. Leibovitz also did a photo of Beyonce dressed in blue as the legendary character Alice, from Alice in Wonderland.
4 Mariah Carey
Here we may have the hottest in all the hot messes in Hollywood. Mariah Carey has fallen from grace so many times, but she keeps bouncing back, doesn’t she? First there was her awful performance in Glitter, which may be one of the worst films in cinematic history. Then after that she went a little nuts and wore a bandana as a top on the old MTV show TRL. Then she seemed to recover a bit and married Nick Cannon, had twins, and divorced. Then she rebounded with a billionaire, who proposed and took her on plenty of boat rides. But she was spending too much of his money so he dumped her. Then she lost her composure on New Year’s Eve and walked off stage totally humiliated. She may be on a yacht right now trying to recover from that one. She’ll be back though, no doubt about it. Her voice is just that good.
3 Kylie Jenner
Here we have a great picture of the beautiful Kylie Jenner hanging off the side of a boat with her boyfriend Tyga nearby. Not to be confused with Tiga, an old white dude who plays electronica music. Tyga is a rapper known for such songs as “I Date Kylie Yo” and “Isn’t Kylie Hot?” Actually those songs were just made up, but maybe he should consider those titles, at least the music videos would be fun to watch. “Rack City” is a real song of his, so those phoney titles aren’t far off. Many people don’t know that Tyga’s real name is Micheal Ray Stevenson. He has a son named King Cairo, with Angela White, aka Blac Chyna. I’m not sure why they gave their kid a stage name from the beginning. They should have named him Greg or something and then let him make up a name later like they did. Oh, well.
2 Julianne Hough
If you google Julianne Hough on a yacht, you will be pleasantly surprised. Not that she’s got too many body parts showing, like Kylie Jenner and the like, but it looks like Julianne is having the time of her life. Some pictures feature her dancing like a nut, like the one we have here. Other photos show her taking an impressively graceful swan dive off the side of the boat. Other pictures show her taking a picture and laughing while her friend vomits off the side of the boat. Of course Julianne is looking hot in all such photos, with her dancer body that she honed on Dancing with the Stars. Julianne has since made a decent transition away from Dancing, but not by much. She did Grease Live, and did a pretty good job, but she’s still waiting for a feature film that will launch her star to the next level.
1 Vanessa Hudgens
Here is another boat we would love to climb aboard. Vanessa Hudgens is not only one of the hottest brunettes in Hollywood, she also seems like one of the coolest. Her down to earth attitude is just the right amount of rogue that most guys really enjoy. She was one of the first Disney stars to go way bad, and those leaked undressed images shed her good-girl image in a hurry. Then she followed up by being a totally baddie in Spring Breakers, playing with guns, murdering dudes, and having a threesome in a swimming pool. In this pic she is hanging out with her buddy, who is also quite gorgeous. They seem to be looking at the camera in a mocking way, like-- you wish you were on this boat. Oh yes, Vanessa, we certainly do.
Sources: Variety, VanityFair, IMDb