Men and women aren’t so different, you know. While men tend to be more open and less embarrassed about what they do in private (or maybe even in public), women tend to have the same dirty habits – or maybe some that are even worse! While society paints a picture that women are delicate little flowers, almost anyone who has been in a long term relationship with a woman can tell you that their life isn’t always as clean as the movies and magazines may have you believe.
Images flash across our screens of advertisements depicting women happily splashing water on their face, and daintily eating a stalk of celery. I hate to break it to anyone living under a rock, but women can be gross too! They poop, and burp, and sometimes intentionally avoid taking a shower. Women have all of the bodily functions as men, and many of the habits that men are more open to sharing about.
While they are incredibly skilled at covering up the things they don’t want men to know, you can bet that almost all women are guilty of these actions at one point or another. The following is a list of some of the less “ladylike” habits that most women perform behind closed doors.
15. Pick Their Nose
Is there a person in this world that doesn’t pick their nose? If so, I’d like to meet them. Sure, it’s gross and sure, we do everything we can to teach our kids to stop doing it in public, but the truth still remains that just about everyone is guilty of picking their nose at one point or another. Women are no exception. Just like men there are times where women will go digging for gold out of boredom, sometimes not even realizing what they’re doing. Other instances involve some discomfort and knowing that something up there needs to come out. Some women just get satisfaction out of pulling out those pesky boogers. What’s even more gross is that, again just like men, women don’t always neatly fold their findings up in a napkin and toss it into the garbage can. Sometimes the crack between couch cushions, their pants, or a sleeve will do. Nasty as it may be, most of us are guilty of it at one point or another.
14. Seeing How Long They Can Go Without Shaving
There is a reason that it became a trend for women to grow out their armpit hair (and some even dyed it!) – it’s because shaving sucks. Shaving your face is a time consuming task, but shaving almost your entire body in one sitting (and working hard to avoid cutting yourself since those nicks just never stop bleeding) is such a chore. Women already spend time maintaining their eyebrows and trying to keep upper lip and chin hair in check, since those areas cannot be hidden so easily. Body hair, on the other hand, can be nicely concealed, especially during the colder parts of the year. With each approaching summer, women go through a tiny mourning period in which they must accept that shaving season is about to begin. While shaving is a chore, you also run into issues like ingrown hairs and razor burn, which are just all the more reason to enjoy putting off shaving until that hot date on Saturday night or vacation where you’ll be strutting around in a cute new bikini.
13. Relaxing with Their Hands Down Their Pants
The stereotypical image of a lazy weekend spent on the couch watching a show with your hands down your pants always seems to be of a man. Did anyone else picture Al Bundy? Sure, men are notorious for it, but women spend their fair share amount of time with their hands (and sometimes arms) down their pants, too. Sometimes it is because they’re chilly, and who needs a blanket when you’ve got a perfectly good pair of sweatpants? Other times it just just because, well, it’s comfortable! I’m sure if your mind is in the gutter you go straight for the dirty stuff, but I have to tell you, usually that is not the case. Something about the posture of hands in your pants is cozy and comfortable, and as funny as it looks on TV when a man does it, women can more often than not be found lounging the the same position.
12. They Fart
Alright, first things first – yes, women experience flatulence, and sometimes a lot of it. It is interesting how many grown men like to tuck this knowledge into the back of their minds, refusing to believe that the hot girl staring from across the bar could ever possible expel the same amount of wind that he does. Depending on the lady (or ladies) you spend most of your time with, many of them are more polite about this habit than their male counterparts. Although everyone does it, women tend to be better at controlling their gas, probably out of fear of embarrassment. Men tend to do it more than women, but that is mainly because men will just let them rip and won’t care who knows it was them. Women, however, are more careful and many have become very skilled at holding it in for longer periods of time. Although, ask around and you may find that many women have perfected the art of slowly releasing the air to avoid making a sound. This tactic works wonders, so long as there is no odor.
11. Avoid Washing Their Hair
This is an issue that so many men will just never understand – washing your hair is such a chore! Women everywhere envy the fact that a man can roll out of bed, hop into the shower and wash his hair, and his locks will be bone dry by the time he’s finished getting dressed for the day. Women, on the other hand, will often times schedule their social functions around their hair washing schedule. Yes, it is that bad and no, your girlfriend is not exaggerating. Sure, the actual act of washing can be a chore in itself, however it’s the aftermath that is really what causes women to hold off on washing their hair for as long as possible. Stepping out of the shower looking like a drowned rat, most women don’t have the luxury that most men do of applying some pomade and getting on with your day. Most women have to either spend time blowing their hair out until their arms are numb, or sit around the house with sopping wet hair for 2-3 hours until their hair dries naturally and then taking the time to style it accordingly. When you’ve spent all that time on your hair, you want to preserve it for as long as possible! Dry shampoo, for the win!
10. They Wear the Same Clothes Multiple Days in a Row
The funny thing about women is they tend to have a closet full of clothes, yet like to wear the same handful of outfits on any given day. Sure, shopping for and buying new clothes is fun, but nothing can ever replace the cherished staples that make a girl look and feel her best. Just like men, women will often wear jeans until there is an absolutely necessary reason to wash them. Have you ever in your life heard someone say, “Gee, I love the feeling of a good pair of stiff jeans fresh out of the wash!” Neither have I. Why wash a perfectly comfortable pair of your favorite denims just to pull them out and have to wear them in as if you just plucked them off the rack? Nobody likes wearing in brand new jeans, let alone having to go through that ordeal every single time. Unless a clothing item has accumulated stains or odd smells, chances are women aren’t going to wash them after each wear.
9. Using the Bathroom With the Door Open
This could go either way, because some women in long term relationships or marriages couldn’t care less and will leave the door wide open while doing their business. On average, though, most women like a bit more privacy when it comes down to it. Many women get anxious while in public bathrooms, and attempt to make as little noise as possible. Some will even go so far as to hold it in if someone is in a stall next to them. Only after the other person has left the restroom are some women comfortable resuming their poo. It is a glorious moment when a woman has the entire house to herself, free to leave the door wide open and do her business in peace without worry of who hears (or smells) what.
8. Don’t Wash Their Face Every Day
Despite what YouTube beauty gurus may have you believing, lots of women don’t pamper their face with lush products twice a day, every day. First of all, facial care products can be expensive. Cleanser, toner, night cream, day cream, oils, masks, oh my! As luxurious as these products may feel, women aren’t always up for coming home and going through the whole routine after a long day. While it is usually recommended to wash your face at least at night to remove any makeup and oils, sometimes women are just too lazy and forego the entire thing and hop straight into bed. As long as there are no excessive amounts of makeup or sweat that has accumulated that day, it is usually forgivable to skip this step of the bedtime routine.
7. Wearing the Same Makeup Two Days in a Row
Riding the coattails of the previous item on the list, yes sometimes the best makeup is second day makeup. Lots of women invest a good bit of money in their makeup, so who’s to say you can’t sometimes get a second wear out of it? The best second day makeup product is liquid eyeliner. The winged cat eye will stay put for hours, and will usually hold up overnight. If all she’s doing the next day is running some errands or going shopping, many women won’t even bother cleansing the previous night’s makeup off their face and will oftentimes just touch it up with a fresh coat and be on their way. Now, it is never recommended to sleep in makeup, especially not a full face, but sometimes the temptation of not having to prep your face the next morning is just too great and a woman will give in. Have you seen how long it takes a woman to get ready? Who can pass up the opportunity to cut their prep time in half?
6. Eat Sloppy Foods In Large Quantities
When you think of a woman eating sloppy food, what do you picture? A pint of ice cream? A jar of Nutella? While those aren’t out of the question, I must point out that when a woman is hungry and impatient, things can get a bit sloppy. Heat up the leftover lasagna and just dig right into the container? Yes. Eat cereal out of a mixing bowl because you don’t have any clean dishes? Sure. Eating hot wings, cheese puffs, licking your fingers and then eating a few slices of cheesecake out of the box with your hands? Absolutely. A hungry woman is a feisty woman and if she’s alone, she will not care about the wing sauce on her cheek or the garlic breath she accumulated from the four garlic bread sticks she just devoured. Men may think that women are dainty eaters, but catch a girl in private, particularly around “that time of the month” and see what a spectacle it is watching her eat.
5. Sticking Hair to the Wall of the Shower (and forgetting about it)
Listen, when a woman takes a shower, it is impossible to avoid the massive mounds of hair that she must rip from her head during the conditioning process. It is just the way things work, and there is really no getting around it. A common habit amongst women is to comb their fingers through their hair and collect all of the rogue strands, I’m sorry, clumps, of hair and stick them to the wall of the shower. If you’ve ever lived with a woman, chances are you’ve seen this little display on more than one occasion. Here’s the thing, as gross as it may be to walk into the bathroom and see what you could mistake as a chinchilla stuck to the wall of your shower, just know that your girl had your best interest in mind. Other than avoiding clogging the drains, girls like to collect their shedding hair and swirl it up neatly on the wall in order to keep it all in once place and easy to throw away after the shower. While they’ll sometimes forget, it’s always easier to take that one gross, giant clump off the wall than to go scraping all around the tub to collect the loose pieces.
4. Avoid Showering, Particularly During the Winter Months
Winter showers are the worst showers, but winter is also the easiest time of year to avoid them. During the summer, you’re more likely to sweat and therefore smell bad, raising the necessity of jumping into the shower. One of the worst feelings in the world is shutting off the cozy warm water from the shower and stepping out into the unforgiving chill of a winter morning or evening. What makes matters worse for a woman is they’ve typically got a lot more hair on their heads, dripping the now cold water down their backs as they scurry to get bundled up. A man’s shower is very simple and they can get away with using the same soap for everything – hair, body, face. An average woman’s shower involves (sometimes) washing hair, rinsing hair, conditioning hair, rinsing hair, lathering up body, shaving body, rinsing body, washing face, exfoliating. It is so involved, and women can get lazy at times and sometimes just don’t feel like bothering with the whole rigamarole that comes with a shower. Why do you think they’ve always got such a stockpile of nice-smelling perfumes and lotions lying around?
3. Spend Too Much Time on the Toilet Browsing the Internet
Women are very similar to men when it comes to bathroom habits, they’re just more discreet than men tend to be. While everyone these days usually spends their time on the throne scrolling through a timeline or two, just like men, sometimes women will spend a significant amount of time in the bathroom – long after the deed is already done. Sure, you could get up now and get on with the day, but the internet has a tricky way of sucking you into the vortex of neverending articles, news feeds, photos, memes. Women are just as susceptible to spending too much time in the bathroom as men. Lucky for women, there are lots of excuses as to why she’s been in the bathroom for the last 20 minutes. Maybe she was touching up her hair, or her makeup. Or maybe the Instagram memes were just on fire today and she invested a little too much time and now her legs are asleep. You’ll never know.
2. If it Can’t Go in the Washer/Dryer, It Will Not Be Cleaned
While expensive and high-maintenence clothes may be beautiful and long lasting, most women don’t have the time or patience to deal with taking a couple of pesky items of clothing to the dry cleaners. That pea coat that cost hundreds of dollars that is only worn for a few months out the of the year? It has never been washed. How about the big fluffy duvet on the bed? Can’t remember the last time that was cleaned. While having a Martha Stewart-esque knack for routinely cleaning things around the house like throw pillows and decorative blankets may be nice, it is just far too much work to delicately clean items that really don’t get all that dirty to begin with. The duvet rarely touches your skin, the handmade blanket that grandma knitted for your wedding day is more of a decoration than a utilized tool to keep warm, and nobody really uses the throw pillows seeing as they’re as comfortable as lying your head on a ball of wrapping paper. The more time and thought that goes into washing something, the less often or likely it is to be cleaned.
1. Avoid Washing Bras For as Long as Possible
This is actually much more common than you’d think, as gross as it may sound. Most women think that boobs, unless they are of a certain size, really don’t sweat much. Save for the 98 degree summer days that you spend strolling around outside, for the most part women feel that their boobs are clean enough to not wash their bras… like, ever. Especially the bras that make the girls look fantastic, you just don’t want to run the risk of ruining it in the washing machine (bras are pretty delicate), but you also don’t have the time or patience to wash them in the sink by hand. What is a girl to do? Contemplate how much physical or strenuous activity was achieved that day, and use their sense of smell and best judgement to decide how dirty the bra in question may be. If it looks okay, feels okay, and smells okay, chances are that baby isn’t going for a wash cycle for a while. Just like the jeans, it is never just a one and done kind of thing. Women will usually rotate through a handful of unwashed bra for anywhere from a week, to a few months, to just never washing them at all. It is all a matter of preference, really.
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