Let’s face it. We love hot female celebs. But we love them more when we think they’re sweet and innocent and just waiting for a guy like us to come sweep them off their feet.
If you’re old enough, you remember the Pamela Anderson craze of the ’90s. With her role on Baywatch, she came out of relative obscurity to become the number one wood producer of the decade. And because we didn’t know much about her, she was effectively a blank slate onto which we could project our ideal image of a woman. So, the Pamela I created in my mind, in addition to her body parts moving perfectly in slow motion, was this wonderful angel (and also was saving herself for my 18th birthday).
Then, the Tommy Lee tape emerged and ruined everything. My image of the perfect, wholesome, virtuous girl fell apart as I watched what her and Tommy were doing in that tape. Later, as he was steering his boat with the same appendage (the man, love him or hate him, has many talents), the realization settled in that my childhood image of the perfect, sweet, innocent Pam was merely a chimera.
Fact is, the female celebrities we hold up as paragons of virtue rarely are. And to illustrate that fact, here are 15 female celebs who seem innocent but are actually straight-up freaks.
15. Jennifer Lawrence
The highest-paid actress in the world since 2015, Jennifer Lawrence exudes class. She’s intelligent, humble, down-to-earth, and even self-deprecating. You never see her courting tabloid drama or appearing in drunken club photos. Her relationships, as shocking as it may seem for someone as famous as her, actually seem healthy. So, she must be the exception to the rule of “innocent female celeb” being an oxymoron, right? Not so fast. In 2014, hackers gained access to her iCloud, finding a treasure trove of nude pics taken from a myriad of angles and positions. To be fair, they were intended for her boyfriend at the time, X-Men co-star Nicholas Hoult, and not for public viewing. But I was one of the lucky few who caught a peek online before the courts ordered them deleted. And I can confidently say that there’s nothing innocent about a chick who would take photos like those.
14. Jennifer Aniston
I can already hear the cries of protest. I mean, it’s one thing to call Jennifer Lawrence a freak. But America’s sweetheart, Jennifer Aniston? That’s beyond the pale, right? This is the chick America fell in love with as girl-next-door Rachel Green on Friends. Then, she married Brad Pitt, and they seemed like the perfect couple. When he cast her aside for Angelina, she earned the sympathy of the entire world. We love her not only because she’s beautiful, but because the chick seems to have no flaws. But, does that mean she’s totally innocent? Appearing on a British talk show in 2016, Aniston was asked who she’s more like in real life, her Friends character or the knocking-boots-obsessed dentist she played on Horrible Bosses. When another host interjected, saying he thinks she’s a combination of both, Aniston agreed but added, “Without the, um, toys.”
13. Sandra Bullock
Aside from her questionable taste in men (Jesse James, anyone?), Sandra Bullock seems like the quintessential girl next door. Even her movie characters always seem to portray chicks who have a heart of gold but are unlucky in love. But, check out what an eyewitness told Star magazine back in 2015. The unnamed source was shopping at Barnes & Noble when they spotted Sandra doing some reading in the store’s coffee shop. It wasn’t a James Patterson novel on which she was so intently focused. It was the Kama Sutra, as well as various other guides on knocking boots! At the time, Sandra had just started dating a new boyfriend, L.A. freelance photographer Bryan Randall. Sounds like she didn’t want to disappoint him on their first foray between the sheets.
12. Reese Witherspoon
Reese Witherspoon has made millions off of being a sweet, innocent blond girl. The role that brought her into the spotlight was Cruel Intentions, where she played a virginal teen targeted by a serial Lothario (played by Ryan Phillippe, whom she later married in real life, but has since divorced). In Legally Blonde, she was the proverbial fish out of water at Harvard Law School, a naive, bubbly blonde amid a sea of well-heeled, cutthroat one-L’s. Her real-life image has mostly mirrored her onscreen roles, save for an unfortunate DUI incident in Nashville during which she pulled the whole “don’t you know who I am?!?” with the arresting officer. But in 2014, she decided to change her image, accepting a role in the racy Wild. She told US Weekly that her previous girl-next-door roles didn’t represent the real her and that she has “many shades” (a possible 50 Shades of Grey reference). She also demanded that her lovemaking scenes in the movie were “raw” and “real.”
11. Claire Danes
Anyone born in the late ’70s or early ’80s remembers following the travails of high school loner Angela Chase on My So-Called Life. The actress portraying the character, of course, was Claire Danes, who went on to star opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in Romeo + Juliet. She’s the rare example of a child star whose life never turned into a train wreck. She attended Yale (although dropped out after two years) and has had only one husband, actor Hugh Dancy, with whom she has one child. But that doesn’t mean no freaky side lurks beneath the polished exterior. Speaking about her role on the TV show Homeland, Danes flashed a sly grin, then stated that the character is her “kinky alter ego.”
10. Taylor Swift
Despite having a catalog of former paramours longer than Kirstie Alley‘s grocery list, Taylor Swift has managed to maintain a squeaky-clean image. Part of it is her unyielding devotion to her fans, many of whom she’s been known to surprise with random Skype calls and even gifts. She also hasn’t allowed her image to become overtly s*xualized and has kept the racier aspects of her life behind closed doors. That said, while filming the video for “Bad Blood,” she and her crew borrowed a cool $13K worth of merchandise from an adult novelty shop in Los Angeles. But it was for a video, so that doesn’t necessarily make Tay-Tay a freak. Well, after the shoot concluded, she returned the merchandise—save for the $5K of stuff she kept for herself!
9. Ariel Winter
Ariel Winter is like the Claire Danes for younger Millennials and Generation Z kids. For the better part of the decade, she has played the chunky bookish Alex Dunphy on Modern Family. The nerdy image of her character has carried over to her real life. But anyone who follows Ariel on Instagram or Snapchat has seen that image slowly fade over the last year. Snaps of Ariel in long sleeves and glasses have given way to bikini shots and bathtub pics (with just enough bubbles to cover the places we’d really like to see). Not to mention, she’s barely legal and dating a dude who’s a decade her senior. In her latest movie role which, according to Ariel, she relates to more than her Modern Family character, she plays a troubled teen who runs away from home and traverses the country with an octogenarian (played by the never-not-cool Burt Reynolds).
8. Scarlett Johansson
Maybe it’s her throwback style or classic appearance, but Scarlett Johansson has never given off the hooch vibe of some of her contemporaries (e.g., Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton). Also unique to her peer group, she hasn’t been linked, aside from a few well-publicized serious relationships, to dude after dude after dude. But believe me when I say that for the right guy, Scarlett is all up for getting down and dirty. First off, unlike many so-called “enlightened” modern females, she’s pro-adult films. She told Marie Claire, “I think [adult films], like anything else, can be enjoyed.” Also, when she was married to Ryan Reynolds, others who worked on movies with him said that she’d show up many afternoons, wait for a break in filming, and then pull him into a trailer for some freaky-deaky action.
7. Emma Watson
For the millions who spent their childhoods watching Emma Watson portray the lovable Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movie series, it can be weird to think about her in “that” way. But Emma’s all grown up now, and while she retains a clean, classy image, she’s certainly not the virginal girl-next-door of her movie character. Want proof? During an event in London in 2016, Emma told Gloria Steinem, the feminist icon, all about her subscription to the website OMGyes.com. If you couldn’t tell by the URL, the site offers tips for women on getting the most pleasure out of “the deed,” with a special emphasis on reaching the big “O.” And she isn’t the least bit ashamed of it (nor should she be). Said Watson, “I wish it had been around longer. Definitely check it out. It’s an expensive subscription, but it’s worth it.”
6. Natalie Portman
Natalie Portman has always had an innocent vibe, and a big part of it is her natural beauty. When you don’t have to wear makeup to look hot, it’s easier to appear innocent, since caked-on makeup is one of the top hooch giveaways. Natalie not only doesn’t need makeup to look fine, she doesn’t even need hair! She went full buzz cut for her role in V is for Vendetta, and any dude who wouldn’t still score with her, not that there’s anything wrong with it, is probably gay. Natalie doesn’t just look innocent. For the most part, she walks the walk. But innocent chicks can still have freaky sides. If you saw Black Swan, you saw her get down for some girl-on-girl action with Mila Kunis. She also had a scene where she got down and dirty with, um, herself, which she called “super awkward.”
5. Mila Kunis
Notwithstanding her steamy scene with Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis has always seemed like one of the rare virtuous female celebs. The Ukrainian beauty dated kid star and adult weirdo Macaulay Culkin from 2002 until 2010, which drew a lot of “what could she possibly be thinking?” type of comments from anyone with eyes. But the pair managed to keep any dirty details from their relationship out of the tabloids. Now, she’s married to Ashton Kutcher, which is the perfect love story, as the duo played teen lovers in the late-’90s, early-2000’s sitcom That ’70s Show. When, years later, they saw each other at an event, it was love at first sight…or that’s how the story goes. But actually, according to Kunis, they had a booty call/FWB relationship for the first year or so after reconnecting, which eventually blossomed into actual love.
4. Selena Gomez
When you grow up appearing on kids’ programs, it can take a long time for people to realize that you’re no longer pure and chaste. Look at Britney Spears. She even had a song early in her career in which she belted, “I’m not that innocent!” And people still naively thought she was holding onto the big “V.” As a child and preteen, Selena Gomez was a star on Barney and Friends and Disney’s The Wizards of Waverly Place. So it’s understandable that her early fans don’t want to think of her as a freak. But, check out these factoids from her personal life. She started wearing a purity ring at 13, but it didn’t take long for smooth-daddy Justin Bieber to take it right off her finger. Selena later said that she had no regrets. She also has a reputation as a man-stealer, having allegedly purloined her current beau, rapper The Weeknd, from Bella Hadid.
3. Ariana Grande
Ariana Grande is another child star who can be difficult to dissociate from her Nickelodeon roots. Excepting a donut-licking incident during which she professed her hate for America, Ariana’s image has always been upstanding. Following a terror attack at her London concert, her response was exemplary, showing real undisguised compassion for the victims and her fans. So, where does the freak side come out? Well, for starters, she has a thing for rappers. On a first date with Mac Miller, eyewitnesses report the pair spent more time trying to eat each other’s tonsils than eating their food. She also had a relationship with Big Sean. The rapper posted a photo on Instagram with her in a Detroit Tigers hat with the caption, “Giving her the D.”
2. Blake Lively
It must be nice to be as good-looking, rich, and talented as Ryan Reynolds because the guy married not one, but two of the innocent-but-not-so-innocent hot chicks on this list. After his divorce from Scarlett Johansson, Reynolds met Blake Lively when the pair filmed The Green Lantern together. It’s not surprising that he noticed her right away. At five-foot-ten, she cuts a striking figure, and her face is model pretty. She’s also unencumbered by much of the baggage and drama attached to other hot female celebs. When Reynolds describes how the pair fell in love, it isn’t exactly the stuff rom-coms are made of. The moment he realized she was the one? It was…well…right after they knocked boots for the first time. So, I guess it’s safe to assume that she isn’t a dead fish in the sack.
1. Jessica Biel
The quintessential all-American female celeb, Jessica Biel starred on the longest-running show in the history of the WB Network, the family-friendly 7th Heaven. She’s always kept it classy. You’ve never—and probably will never—read a word about her getting arrested, cheating, or flashing her pantyless crotch while exiting a limousine. But, you also know she can’t be totally boring or else she wouldn’t be married to the coolest man alive, Justin Timberlake. In 2015, after several years of eschewing the spotlight to focus on being a mom, Biel undertook a new, shall we say, “project” that sheds light on her appeal to Timberlake. She made a series of online s*x education videos! Now, we’ve all heard the old trope that those who can’t do, teach. But again, Timberlake, who could have any chick on the planet, chose her over the other 3.5 billion. I’m pretty sure she’s teaching “the deed” because she knows damn well how to do it.
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