Whether you’re talking about height or build chicks prefer big dudes to small dudes. Maybe you could argue an exception for a thin dude over a fat dude of the same height; technically, the thin dude is smaller and would probably pull more chicks, all other variables equal. But juxtapose the thin dude with a guy who has the same height and frame but has some muscle on his bones, and boom, the bigger guy wins 100 times out of 100!
Why do chicks prefer bigger guys? It’s probably rooted in evolutionary biology. The man’s role, in large part, involved protecting women and children from external dangers. Thus, women naturally gravitated to bigger, stronger, more powerful men who they saw as more capable than their diminutive peers of offering protection.
While bigger is clearly better, having a small height or build doesn’t render you hopeless in the dating game. Some chicks don’t mind dating small men, including these 15 steamy celebs.
15. Katie Holmes
Katie Holmes is a great pick for all you guys who are short in stature. If you’re tired of scrolling through Tinder, POF, and other dating apps and seeing chick after chick with six-foot requirements, Katie’s your gal. Remember, she was married to Tom Cruise. It’s hard to determine his exact height, as the former contender for coolest man alive does a pretty good job at keeping it under wraps. But he can’t be any taller than five-foot-seven. Not to mention, when Katie got with him, he was no longer Top Gun, Risky Business, cool guy Tom. He was well on the way to becoming jump-on-Oprah’s-couch, Scientology, weirdo Tom.
14. Nicole Kidman
As another of Tom Cruise’s ex-wives, Nicole Kidman arguably gives even more hope to diminutive men. That’s because Nicole didn’t just marry a short dude; she married a short dude despite brushing up against the six-foot mark herself. You know how chicks always say, —“I don’t care how tall a guy is, just as long as he’s taller than me.” Well, that’s a total contradiction, but never mind that. When women say that, it gives hope to most short dudes, save for the ones who are like five-four and under. That’s because even if you’re several inches below average, you can always find chicks out there shorter than you. The challenge comes if you’re ever attracted to a tall chick. Nicole’s marriage to Tom proves that the guy being shorter doesn’t have to be a deal breaker.
13. Anna Kournikova
Anna Kournikova is so hot that her tennis career suffered because of it. (Also, did you know that she’s a cigarette smoker? I know, I was shocked to find that out too. I didn’t know it was possible to be a professional athlete and smoke cigarettes, but Anna puffed away with impunity through her whole career. Google it. There are pictures.) She was always more worried about fashion and looking good than perfecting her game. It worked too, as despite never winning a major, she made more money in endorsement deals than many female players who were perennial champs. She’s been in a relationship with Enrique Iglesias for going on 15 years now. He’s a good-looking dude and a fantastic dancer (which some chicks claim translates to skills between the sheets) but, by his own admission, he’s lacking in the area.
12. Roseanne Barr
Okay, so Roseanne definitely isn’t “steamy.” It’s questionable if she’s even average. Actually, it’s not questionable; she isn’t. But she was married to short dude Tom Arnold in the ‘90s. The last time I mentioned Tom Arnold in an article, I was comparing his looks unfavorably to Tom Brady’s and he got pissed, throwing shade my way in a Tweet and proving he has thin skin and no sense of humor. So I had to work him in again somehow. I mean, seriously, why would you get offended just because someone points out that you aren’t as attractive as Tom Brady? That could apply to literally every dude on Earth. Returning to Roseanne, I guess her marriage to Tom proves that even if you’re short and take yourself too seriously, you can still get with her.
11. Eniko Parrish
Eniko Parrish wasn’t a celebrity until about a week ago. Then, news broke that a chick was trying to extort her husband, Kevin Hart, by threatening to release a tape of her knocking boots with him. Because America loves scorned women, Eniko instantly became a household name. Her husband owned up to his misdeeds and issued an emotional public apology. Side note: Why do celebrities feel the need to publicly apologize for things that don’t affect anyone but their own family? Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, now Kevin Hart. You don’t have to apologize to me, fellas. You did nothing to me. If anything, you should apologize for letting every man’s dream go to waste by getting married in the first place when you have such a smorgasbord of chicks to choose from. Kevin Hart’s wife makes it on this list because not only is she okay with a short dude, but she’s probably going to be back on the market soon.
10. Selena Gomez
Selena Gomez might be sick of that same old love, but she clearly isn’t sick of small dudes. Her most famous romance was with Justin Bieber as a teenager. According to that all-knowing Google, the Biebs has grown to a respectable five-foot-nine. Still on the short side of average, but a long way from the twerp he was when he first got famous. Now, he just needs some meat on his bones. On the bright side, he had some unclothed photos leak about a year ago, and it looks like he’s not doing too shabby where it matters. Although it should be noted that the backdrop of such a scrawny body probably makes his unit look bigger than it actually is, the same way an average knob would look tiny on Shaq’s body. Selena’s latest flame is rapper The Weeknd, another height-challenged dude who stands five-foot-seven.
9. Taylor Swift
Country-turned-pop superstar Taylor Swift has dated big boys of many varieties. There was Calvin Harris who stands six-foot-six, Taylor Lautner who’s ripped, and John Mayer who’s rumored to be big in a certain area. But the multimillionaire singer appears not to have any hard-and-fast rules about a guy’s height, build, or size. After all, her first public relationship was with Joe Jonas, the oldest of the Jonas Brothers. He stands only five-foot-seven as a grown man and might have been shorter when he dated Taylor, considering he hadn’t even finished puberty then. Of course, she’s a lot more famous now than she was then and has a ton more options. But from listening to her lyrics, it sounds like if a dude can treat her right, not break her heart, and is willing to deal with her crazy, he can be lacking in size.
8. Jessica Caban
Jessica Caban is a fashion model and actress from New York City, having been raised in the Spanish Harlem neighborhood. She won the first ever season of Model Latina which, as its name indicates, is a reality show to crown the hottest Latina model. I didn’t watch the show and thus didn’t see any of the other candidates. But I don’t see many chicks of any ethnicity who are hotter than Jessica, so I’ll accept that her victory was legit. The chick is just a total smokeshow. And for you height-challenged fellas, here’s some good news. She dates short dudes! But here’s some bad news. She dates short dudes who are insanely talented, rich, and universally loved. So, the bar is pretty high. Her boyfriend since 2011 has been none other than Bruno Mars, who stands an unimpressive five-foot-five, but have you ever met anyone who doesn’t love the guy and think he’s awesome?
7. Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj has a unique appearance, and I’ve heard plenty of dudes say that she’s weird-looking and not attractive at all. But, I’d wager a hefty sum that if given the chance, any one of those dudes would knock boots with her. I don’t know what the actual chances are of a regular, non-rich, non-famous dude getting to knock boots with Nicki Minaj, but whatever they are, being a small guy won’t lower them. According to internet rumors that have persisted for years, Nicki hooked up with five-foot-five rapper Lil’ Wayne. That’s encouraging if you’re a short guy who’s been reading the previous sections and thinking “Aren’t there any hot chicks who sleep with short guys who AREN’T talented and good-looking?” If a rapper isn’t bragging about what he’s got, it probably doesn’t exist.
6. Ashlee Simpson
Ashlee Simpson has had so much plastic surgery that she basically hired a sculptor to come in and carve her a brand new face. The result, while a far cry from Michaelangelo’s David, is a lot better than what she started with. If her older sister, Jessica Simpson, hadn’t set the bar so high during that four-year period or so when she was hot–oh, and also if Ashlee could actually sing–then her career might have really taken off. She still qualifies as a celebrity, though. After all, she had one song that made it onto the charts in 2004 or 2005. “Pieces of Me,” I think was the name of it. And, given her three-year marriage to Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, who measures a whopping five-foot-seven, she is okay with short guys. Ashlee’s stock is pretty low these days, so if you’re small and wanting to hook up with a celeb, she might be your best shot.
5. Alison Brie
Alison Brie has had starring roles in two fantastic TV shows, Community and Mad Men, and a bunch of mediocre-at-best movies—Scream 4, Get Hard, and How To Be Single. By the way, that’s a pretty common theme these days. The best writing, directing, and acting is now on television, while the fare at the cinema is mostly forgettable. I’m not sure when or why that happened though, but for decades, television was where you landed if you had talent. But, it’s not quite enough to make it on the big screen. Now, it seems to be the opposite, with Alison’s filmography serving as a perfect example. So, what does this have to do with small dudes? Well, this year, Alison married Dave Franco. He’s the younger brother of James Franco. Standing five-foot-seven, he’s also shorter than his brother. But he landed Alison Brie. So evidently, his height isn’t holding him back.
4. Tameka Foster
Aside from being hot, Tameka Foster is a stylist to the stars, having put finishing touches on Jay-Z, Lauryn Hill, Toni Braxton, Nas, and more. She was married to Ur-sher (Usher to you if you lack my street cred) and like many of the dudes who have hooked up with the chicks on this list, he stands five-foot-seven. That seems to be the minimum height for chicks who date short dudes. It’s like they rationalize, ‘Okay, I’ll hook up with a short guy, but no shorter than five-seven because then, you’re dipping into short-even-for-a-chick territory.’ So if you’re like five-six or five-six-and-a-half, get some thick shoes and start calling yourself five-seven. It could make a big difference in your scoring.
3. Demi Moore
For decades, Demi Moore was married to Bruce Willis, a six-footer with a healthy build. Following their divorce, Demi made headlines when she snagged a much younger dude, Ashton Kutcher. While Ashton is tall–actually taller than Bruce–his physique–long and lanky–leaves much to be desired. And then, there was that little comment made on late night TV by his ex-girlfriend, Brittany Murphy (now deceased). The host was ribbing Brittany about her ex now dating a much older woman. “I guess age doesn’t matter to him,” the host smirked. “No, and I guess size doesn’t matter to her,” Brittany responded. Savage!
2. Sienna Miller
Sienna Miller might not have the panache of a big-time actress like Cameron Diaz or Scarlett Johansson, but she’s been called “the next Meryl Streep” by Hollywood publications and regularly ranks on lists of the most talented British actresses. She’s also multitalented, holding careers as a fashion designer and model alongside her TV and movie work. Most importantly, she’s hot. In 2003, she met actor Jude Law on the set of a movie, and the pair embarked on an on-and-off relationship that lasted seven years. Somewhere in that period, a sneaky paparazzi member snapped an unclothed photo of Jude on a hotel balcony. Let’s just say that Sienna Miller isn’t into big guys.
1. Jennifer Aniston
Here’s a bit of good news for all the guys out there who might not measure up to the big boys. Jennifer Aniston, among the world’s hottest celebs at any age, has demonstrated that size isn’t at the top of her list of must-haves. She was married to Brad Pitt in the 2000’s and, if you recall, took seemingly forever to get over him when he cast her aside for Angelina Jolie (some might argue that she still hasn’t moved on). Brad might be the most handsome man in history and ridiculously talented and rich to boot, but according to some of his other former flames (most notably, actress Juliette Lewis), he isn’t a big deal where it matters. (That was an exact quote from Lewis.)
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