By now, the internet (so basically, the whole world) is very accustomed to seeing hilarious photos of people at Walmart. They are pretty entertaining and usually include over-the-top ridiculous people who genuinely DGAF about how they look or their behavior. Most of the photos are of morbidly obese people, terrible parents and their children, and insane clothing that’s either way too small, has blunt and graphic (but amusing) words on it, or leggings that are skin-colored and so tight you literally think they’re wearing no pants because it even looks like their butt crack is visible.
If you’re into the whole WTF Walmart stuff, you’ll love this list. It’s bad parenting, hysterical clothing, and poor life choices, all in one. And there are no moms allowed on this list because these 15 photos are all about the dads! As you probably know, dads can be every bit as embarrassing as moms — and sometimes even more so. Basically, if you’ve learned anything from the photos of trashy Walmart shoppers, you know that it’s essential that you never, ever go to this store with your parents. The poor kids on this list learned that lesson the hard way.
Be warned that the following 15 photos will probably make you cringe, laugh, or just shake your head in bewilderment that these people even exist. How they made it into adulthood is a mystery, and more than anything, by the end of this list, you’ll feel pity for their offspring, who, we can only pray, won’t follow in their good old dad’s footsteps — or maybe we wish that they would because their embarrassment is our entertainment.
15. This Dad Made The New York Times For Using His Daughter’s Hair As a Leash
While many crazy Walmart shoppers wind up on the internet for their appearance or behavior, this Texas dad wound up in the New York Times. This is pretty impressive for a simple trip to Walmart. But what he did while shopping for chicken breasts was questionable at best. At its worst, it constitutes child abuse or some form of it. It’s hard to tell from the photos, but if you look very closely, you’ll be able to see that he’s fashioned a leash out of his daughter’s hair! He has it wrapped around the cart handle under his hand. The poor little girl is visibly upset. Her hair is being pulled, and she’s walking bent over to keep the “leash” looser. The video of this went viral in 2016, and in it, the little girl can be heard begging her father to stop, telling him he’s hurting her and promising not to “do it again.” The woman who filmed it, Erica Burch, said she had approached the man and that he had told her to mind her own business. Unfortunately, police said that it was discipline and not abuse because, in order for it to be abuse, the girl would need an injury. Social media, however, disagreed, and outrage ensued. Hopefully, this dad was embarrassed because he should be.
14. Life Lessons At Walmart
This dad has his own ideas about how to teach his daughters important life lessons, such as the appropriate length of shorts. He’s wearing a shirt that reads, “Ask my girls if they still think short shorts are ‘soo’ cute!!” I’m willing to bet that they don’t. Most people would be mortified if their father wore this out in public. The guy ruined a shirt by writing his message all over it although, let’s be honest, it was a super ugly shirt, anyway. But to make matters worse, he also donned a fugly belt and tiny little cutoff shorts over longer spandex ones. But he must be doing something right because his daughter doesn’t seem put off by it at all, and she’s even holding his hand. Give her a few more years and that won’t be the case, though. And by that point who knows what her dad will be doing to teach lessons about the next teen phase after clothing: boys? Side note: I especially love how he incorporated the characteristic teen dramatic “soo” into his statement. It was a nice touch.
13. Snuggly Jammies
This photo is actually quite endearing. There’s no foul language on his clothing and no appalling parental behavior that can be seen. It’s not even trashy. It is, however, a little strange because he’s wearing purple leopard-print pajamas in the middle of Walmart. Maybe he was sick that day and just wanted to be comfy, or maybe he was just trying them on. But, I’m sorry — that’s still weird. However, the cuteness cannot be denied. Even though we’re not privy to the reason for his bewildering wardrobe choice, when you look at how he’s interacting with his little boy, it’s sweet, and you automatically think he’s doing it for his son for whatever reason. This may or may not be the case, but the toddler appears to think his dad looks pretty cool. In 10 years or so, he’ll hate him for being all over the internet dressed this way, though. Dad should enjoy it while it lasts.
12. This Dad Really “Sucks”
This looks a lot worse than it is. I have a son myself, so I know that little boys live for this kind of stuff. It probably started as some kind of dare, or maybe it was just one of those father-son things that happen for no reason other than because it can. They probably saw a plunger and thought, what the heck? Then, they went for it. Judging by the photo, it looks like it even worked! The little boy is clearly being lifted off the ground by the suction of the plunger. Hey, that’s one way to test the strength of your toilet tools before purchasing them — test them out on the kids first! This kid probably weighs 40 or so pounds, so even though Walmart isn’t known for having the best-quality items, this plunger seems to be the exception. But sadly, like so many of the other kids on this list, one day, this boy is going to think his dad sucks (see what I did there?).
11. Setting a Bad Example With Trashy Taste
Wow. Just wow. It’s hard to even know what to say about this father. His little girl looks to be around the age of eight or nine, and her dad is obviously not too worried about setting a good example for her. In a few years, she’ll be a rebellious teenager, and you can bet that Dad would flip out if he ever saw a boyfriend of hers wearing anything similar to this. Even when she’s an adult and married, for a dad to see a shirt like that on the man who’s with his baby would be freak-out worthy. And that would be totally understandable. The shirt says “My d— smells like chapstick.” The meaning is clear, and even if it weren’t, the fact that he’s wearing a shirt that references one of his private parts at all is so very trashy. Plus, his daughter is clearly old enough to read. She may not understand what the shirt is talking about, but she’ll surely ask questions, and as is the nature of children, she’ll probably also repeat what she’s read. Nice job, Dad!
10. The Laziest Parents on Earth Can Be Found at Walmart
There’s no better place to find the laziest people on Earth than your neighborhood Walmart. It’s like a breeding ground for people who seem to go to the ends of the Earth to cut corners and half-ass things like walking or taking care of their kids. Take this guy in the motorized shopping cart chair. He already has it made because he gets to ride around the store instead of walking (yes, I acknowledge that he could have a medical condition, but he could also not have one). But he’s figured out how to not lose his kid as well. Genius or really stupid? Considering the dangers that could arise from dragging around a kid attached to a wheelchair cart, I would say it’s stupid. Anything could happen — the kid could be run over, he could get caught in the chair, someone could step on him, he could get banged into something, items from a shelf could fall over on him… But the dad should probably be worried, too, because while some people are content to snap a photo and have a good laugh, others wouldn’t hesitate to call Child Protective Services on his ass.
9. She’s Totally Pretending Not To Know Him
This poor teenager looks absolutely mortified, and we don’t blame her. We’d like to think that maybe her very uncool dad is just dressing up for some sort of flashback to the ’80s event, but we cannot be certain. Even if that were the case, a trip to Walmart dressed like that is very embarrassing, especially for a teen girl. The tall, lanky man apparently thought it was a good idea to wear hot pink short shorts, white knee-high stockings, white and pink sneakers, a funky neon tye-dye vest, and some weird silver chains. He’s like a cross between a thug, a dude from the ’80s, a hippie, and a jogger. In fact, Richard Simmons comes to mind when we look at those shorts and those long, hairy legs. But, in fact, the only thing that he really is is embarrassing. Hopefully, someday, his daughter, who looks like she’s pretending not to know him, will forgive him for this transgression.
8. New Dad Cosplaying at Walmart
Here’s one for all of you Dragon Ball and anime fans out there. This dad should be a real inspiration to you. He’s true to his character, even at Walmart with his new baby. Dressed as Super Saiyan, hair and all, he looks like he runs the risk of stabbing said baby in the face with that ginormous red finger. I have a feeling that cosplay and Walmart (and of course being a dad) are major parts of this guy’s life, and that probably, those things aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. This kid is going to grow up to be a total geek, and there’s really no way around that. For this reason, it’s questionable whether or not he’ll one day even be embarrassed to be seen out in public like this with his dad. Since it’s all he’ll know, he’ll probably think it’s cool, too. Poor kid. But we’re embarrassed enough for all involved.
7. Working Hard and Hardly Working
There are two people in this photo, a dad and his toddler daughter. One of the aforementioned is working hard, and the other is hardly working. The cute photo is all in good fun, of course. The little girl probably wanted to try and push her daddy, but it just looks really funny. And even though it’s completely innocent, these days, people like to get butt-hurt about every little thing under the sun, so it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if some salty person somewhere gets all up in arms about this photo and calls this man a bad father. Stranger things have happened.
6. These Two Are Ready To Party!
Now, there are so many reasons a dude could be stocking up on booze. Maybe he’s going to have a party, or maybe he likes to make one big liquor run and then not have to worry about it for a long time. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But when you do it with a kid in the cart, you open yourself up to a certain amount of scrutiny, especially in this day and age of cell phones, cameras, and other recording devices. Simply put, even if it’s not bad, it looks bad. And any person who was caught buying this much alcohol with a kid would probably not like the negative attention. The kid seems pretty gung-ho about his dad’s purchases, too, giving the camera the thumbs-up signal and a big smile. I’m sure it’s not as bad as it looks, but it does look bad. The end.
5. If You’re Going to Dress Ridiculously, Walmart Is The Place To Do It
If ever there were an embarrassing item of clothing to wear out in public (with your children, I might add), it could very well be this vulgar and attention-grabbing t-shirt. On the other hand, if ever there were a place to wear such a shirt, it would probably be Walmart; he practically fits right in with all the other crazies. If you’re going to wear something ridiculous, Walmart is the place to do it. But what’s troublesome about this photo is the fact that he’s a dad to a little tyke, probably just two years old. Obviously, the kid being able to read the shirt isn’t an issue yet, but what is an issue is the example he’s setting for his child and the fact that he presents himself in this way, as a person who promotes eating pussy, chugging whiskey, and hailing Satan. With the exception of that last part, those things aren’t so terrible, but they’re not something you broadcast. To do so is inappropriate, vulgar, and, whether he knows it or not, very embarrassing.
4. “The Grape Smuggler”
There’s a great website I recently discovered called “peopleofwalmart.com,” and it’s exactly what it sounds like. The best of the best (meaning the worst of the worst) Walmart shoppers, like this guy, can be found there. Lovingly dubbed “The Grape Smuggler” by thepeopleofwalmart.com, he’s wearing only a crop top and what looks to be some kind of women’s underwear. Strutting his stuff down the aisle of Walmart as if it were a catwalk, he doesn’t even look the least bit embarrassed! On one hand, I kind of love the guy for that, but on the other hand, I want to smack him and ask WTF he was thinking. No one wants to see that. His baldness and mustache don’t help things at all, but the worst part is obviously the reason he got the grape smuggler nickname in the first place. All he would have to do is veer right just a little bit, and he’d be in the clothing department.
3. It’s Just Too Hard To Resist Pranking Your Kid
This photo is embarrassing in a more lighthearted way than many of the others on this list. You feel so bad for the baby, who’s terrified, but it is kind of funny. This dad’s obviously clueless that his little stunt might scar his kid for life, and he probably should’ve left his son at home while going Halloween shopping at Walmart. His worst offense is being an idiot, which isn’t so terrible. But he’ll probably be embarrassed at some point down the line that he purposely terrified his baby, who’s probably one year old. It’s funny, but at the same time, it’s not. Any parent knows that it’s hard to resist pranking your kids, especially at Halloween. This dad probably should’ve thought twice, though, because he comes off like a jerk. Next time, he should stick to the aisle with Big Bird costumes and those baby pumpkin outfits with the holes for arms and legs.
2. Three Naked Kids In Walmart, The Place Most Likely to Have Perverts Around Every Corner
This guy looks like he has his work cut out for him, with three little (naked) troublemakers. They look like they’re triplets, and they look to be around the age of two. Having three kids in the terrible twos doesn’t sound like fun, but this dad seems to be taking it all in stride. Anyone who’s gone to Walmart with kids knows how stressful it can be — dodging all the crazies, telling your kids “no” every two seconds when they say they want this or that, and trying to remember everything on the list. Really, this photo is only considered embarrassing because he has three naked toddlers in his care. It’s awkward, and looking at it, you wonder WTF he was thinking. Where are their clothes? Why are they naked except for the diapers? Stuff happens as anyone with a child will tell you. But what the hell happened to make it necessary for all three to be naked at once? It seems like a poor parenting decision to bring three toddlers to the store naked, especially when you consider how many freaks there are out there… and how many of them are at Walmart.
1. Thank Goodness The Child Can’t Read Yet
This dad’s trip to Walmart for a bag of pretzels turned into a funny photo op for someone else. This guy is standing in the checkout line with his little girl, proudly wearing a t-shirt that says, “Let Me Stick It In Your Butt.” Hmm. First of all, let’s just be thankful that his child isn’t old enough to read yet although he already looks pretty unhappy about something. The child, probably two years old, is old enough to pick up on nonverbal cues of the people around him, however. Every person who walks by the cute little blondie and his tattooed, vulgar father is silently judging the dad and probably not trying very hard to hide it. The poor kid probably spent the entire shopping trip wondering why all these strangers kept looking at his dad like he was a jerk and why they kept looking at him like they felt sorry for him. If he isn’t embarrassed now at the age of two, he certainly will be when he gets older and sees this picture of dear, old Dad.
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