TLC sure has come a long way. Back in the day when it first started out, “The Learning Channel” was exactly what it sounds like, a cable channel that focused on shows explaining how things in the world and in science worked. It used to be kind of an educational channel, believe it or not.
These days, the only thing that you’ll learn about on TLC is how totally insane so many people are in the world. This channel is the equivalent of a train wreck. No matter how bad it is and no matter how bad it looks and sounds, you simply cannot look away. So, you watch, and then, when it’s all over, you think to yourself, “Man, I wish that I didn’t see that.” But the thing is, you did see it, and now you can’t unsee it. It’ll stay in your mind forever.
But believe it or not, as bad as TLC seems, there are some things about that channel that you don’t know, that make the whole thing even worse. Do you even really want to know? Well, read on at your own risk. Here are 15 dirty secrets that the producers of TLC don’t want you to know.
15. Stacy and Clinton Are Fronts
What Not to Wear is one of those ridiculously dumb shows that, if you’re a woman, you watch when you’re bored and have nothing else to do, and if you’re a guy, you totally hate because you’re forced to watch it. Anyway, the whole point of the show is the two hosts changing around someone’s look and all of that, but it seems like it’s actually done by personal shoppers, and then, Stacy London and Clinton Kelly show up and act all cool and pretend that they’re the ones who actually saved the day. I know this isn’t the most disgusting secret out there, but come on. If you’re going to do a show this dumb, at least go through the motions and give us what we deserve instead of faking the whole thing.
14. The Duggars Are Gross
If you really need to figure out what’s wrong with TLC, as well as the entire world, then all you need to do is check out 19 Kids and Counting. What a total disaster this show is. First of all, it’s supposed to be this show about this large family who are all devout Baptists, but what it turns into is something way worse, including the Ashley Madison and sexual assault scandals that the oldest kid, Josh Duggar, was involved in. This show is the perfect example of what TLC is really all about. They pick a subject that seems pretty messed up, but then, as the show goes on, it becomes even more messed up than one could possibly imagine. This show is just the worst, as are the Duggars.
13. There Are More Hoarders Than You Know
First of all, how pathetic is it that Hoarders: Buried Alive is a spin-off of another show called Hoarders on another network. That whole “Hey guys, another network is making a lot of money taking advantage of lunatics, why can’t we?” thing is pretty lame when you think about it, but capitalism is just that, so you really can’t blame TLC — at least not a whole lot. But with that said, the producers have been honest about just how many hoarders contact them to try and get “help.” They literally get thousands of applications from people who are hoarders to try and be on the show, apparently, so they can get help while being totally mocked in the process. Yay.
12. Mama June and Chickadee Weren’t So Tight in Real Life
One of the lamest shows on television ever was Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. If you were lucky enough never to see it, the show revolves around a child beauty pageant star and her totally bizarre family, and calling them bizarre is a good thing compared to other words that I could think of. Mama June and one of her daughters who went by “Chickadee” had a pretty bad relationship — or, at least, the show made it seem that way. In fact, the only reason that Mama June let Chickadee back in the house was the fact that she was pregnant and that she hoped to get on the show Teen Mom. This whole show was plain old nasty, and it’s a good thing for all of us that it’s off the air now.
11. The Gypsy Life Is Kind of Nasty
My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding sounds like a pretty cool show, right? Actually, no, it doesn’t. Who am I kidding? It sounds totally awful. The premise of the show is for us all to see how gypsies in America live, but just like many of these other so-called reality shows, you know off the bat that it isn’t real because no gypsy who was the real deal would ever be on a reality show. It kind of flies in the face of what a gypsy is all about. Any way you look at it, this show was awful. The guys tend to treat the women in horrible ways. In one episode, you see a guy pinning against a wall a woman who’s trying to walk away from him. I don’t know… gypsies may get a bad rap, but it’s even worse after seeing this awful show.
10. Toddlers and Tiaras Parents Get No Cash
This show is just odd in general. Who are these parents who dress their kids up like this and enter them into beauty pageants at such a very young age? Well, at least they must do really well when it comes to money, right? There’s no way that anyone could possibly do a show like this without getting some good coin and maybe even putting some away for the poor girl’s education. Nope, the parents and the kids on the show don’t get a single cent, which really shows you how totally bizarre these people are. They do this show and get openly mocked by everyone for no money at all just because they believe that people will think they’re cool and impressive because they’re on a show. Talk about pathetic.
9. Little People, Big Prejudice
What can be more exciting than a show about midgets? Well, lots of things, obviously, but that doesn’t mean that Little People, Big World still doesn’t have a large audience. Why? Well, because it involves little people! Yeah, I know. I don’t get it either, but anyway, this show is halfway okay, I suppose, other than the rampant homophobia. One would think that if you were a little person, then you wouldn’t be the type of person that was prejudiced toward others, but obviously, that isn’t the case. Jeremy and his wife, Audrey, have both come out and said they’re not on board with homosexuality, which is lame enough as it is, but even more so when it comes to the fact that they’re minorities themselves.
8. Sister Wives is Creepy
When it comes to being totally tacky, there’s no doubt that Sister Wives is at the top of the list. The whole point of the show is that there’s a guy named “Kody Brown” who has a whole bunch of wives. Sounds super interesting, right? Well, yeah, obviously, it doesn’t, but at the same time, it still is at least a tiny bit interesting just because you know what you’re about to watch involves a whole bunch of lunatics. It’s one thing to get married to a dude who has three other wives; it’s another entirely to do so on television. Really? How much money is it actually worth to make a total monkey of yourself? It seems like the women don’t know each other all that well, and to be honest, they don’t seem to know Kody that well either. Basically, they all are just kind of nuts.
7. Say Yes to the Dress Is Not All That
If you have a girlfriend between the ages of 17 and 40, the odds are that you’ve been forced to watch at least one episode of Say Yes to the Dress, and I have to say that if this is the case, I feel pretty bad for you, as that show is totally awful. The point of the show is that brides, their friends, and their family go to this totally large bridal shop and try on all sorts of dresses, looking for the perfect dress for their big day. But as you might have figured out by now, TLC isn’t really well known for doing things the right way, meaning that in actuality, the brides usually only get to check out a small portion of the bridal store and often only get to try on a handful of dresses. But you know… as long as it looks good to the viewers.
6. Kate Still Hates Jon
Jon and Kate Plus 8 was a show based on a couple having twins followed by sextuplets. It was hard to tell what was more odd, this happening in the first place, or the fact that these people actually wanted to be on TV. I know if I had 8 kids, the thought of having cameras in my house along with that couldn’t be worse. But you know… this is America, so people want to be famous, and they want money. But you know, the father of this brood, Jon Gosselin, turned out to be a total loser, so he was not only kicked off the show but he also barely gets to see the kids anymore, and he never gets to see more than 4 at a time. One would think that would be the end of the show, but no… Mama Kate needs some cash, so now, the show is called Kate Plus 8. I feel kind of sick.
5. Long Island Fraud
Many of us know someone who claims to be a psychic, while some of us are lucky enough not to have to deal with such things. There’s one thing for sure in such situations: whether a psychic ability is real or not, the vast majority of people who claim to be psychics are obviously totally full of it. So, with all of that said, here comes The Long Island Medium, Theresa Caputo. She claims to be able to help people contact the afterlife, but she’s been investigated by professional myth busters, who claim that she’s a fraud. This isn’t all that surprising, as pretty much everyone who says they can do such a thing is a total fraud. Sure, maybe some people can, but if so, they aren’t doing reality shows. Why would they?
4. The Claims On Strange Addiction Are… Strange
My Strange Addiction is amusing enough, of course. Why wouldn’t it be? If you watch this show, you get to see all sorts of total freakshows making complete fools of themselves, and isn’t that what TLC is really all about? While a lot of the people on the show do seem to have issues that are compulsive, hardly any of them are actually anything that would qualify as being actually addicted, which is why this show is so sketchy. The reality of the whole thing really seems to be that there are people who really want to be on TV and who do totally odd things and that TLC is willing to take advantage of them to make a little money off of them — which, if you’ve been paying attention, isn’t all that surprising.
3. How Amish Are They Really?
Of all the shows on here that are so obviously fake, Breaking Amish is probably one of the biggest. I mean, come on… this doesn’t even pass the straight-face test. In theory, a bunch of young and hot Amish types head to New York City to live out their dreams. First of all, if they were really Amish, none of this would happen in the first place. Secondly, the word on the street is that these people had all stopped living as Amish a long time before the show actually started. The whole thing is obviously at the least contrived and at the most totally fake. How stupid do these producers think we are? Actually, I guess that’s a silly question. They’re TLC producers; they think all of us are totally dumb.
2. Is Extreme Cheapskates Extremely Fake?
So, we all know people who are super cheap, and honestly, we all love these people, right? How much better do we all feel about ourselves if someone else we know is even more of a cheapskate than we are? This is why Extreme Cheapskates is so popular with many people. How great is it to feel better about ourselves when we get to check out someone eating out of a dumpster and reusing toilet paper and dental floss? Man, I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel like Hugh Hefner when I watch this show. And that’s just it: the reality of the situation is that a lot of this show is probably contrived because once again, there are a lot of lunatics who want to do a show like this.
1. Is 90 Day Fiance Full of Liars?
This show is honestly just plain old stupid. Here’s the thing: if you want to marry someone who’s willing to be on television while your relationship unfolds and, on top of that, is also willing to decide within 90 days whether that person wants to marry you, then you have some truly serious issues. I know for a fact that there have been numerous women whom I thought were totally cool for 90 days or so but turned out to be total psychopaths. So, hear me when I say that it’s fine to watch a show like this if you want to have fun. But just know that everyone on it is a total lunatic, which is actually what the producers of TLC don’t want you to know. Pretty much everyone on their shows is a total lunatic.
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