I’m guessing most of you have never really watched Total Divas before. Or if you have, you’ve only done so to see your favorite hotties from the WWE acting like a bunch of spoiled brats while you hope to see some more skin. If that’s the case, just stick to watching RAW or Smackdown. You’ll see more skin there.
Anyway, Total Divas has been running for damn near 10 years now…which is amazing…and not in a good way. I’m actually shocked it lasted so long. It just goes to prove that people will watch anything and that there are plenty of those people everywhere! But I’ve got some news…Total Divas is almost entirely fake!
That’s right. I hope I’m bursting someone’s bubble here. The show is heavily scripted, first and foremost. And the real moments of drama in the show only happen because of the long hours of shooting, so someone is actually drunk or overwhelmingly tired, or something like that. You know what, just scroll down and learn some secrets about how bullsh*t this show really is.
15. John Cena Fakes A Heart Attack
Yeah, this is actually a real moment. A real moment that never actually made the cut for the show, but it’s real. And by real, I mean that John Cena really did fake a heart attack. Which I have to say is kind of funny, but then really not funny. For a second, I bet the cast and crew thought “you know, we might not have to deal with his smug attitude anymore”…and then it turned out to be fake. Oh well. The truth behind it is that he was injured, but still working out and while Nikki Bella was there alongside him, Cena clutched his chest and faked having a heart attack. Obviously, Nikki was freaking out. Until Cena came to and maybe realized that he was the biggest *ss in the world…but I’m pretty sure he hasn’t actually learned that yet.
14. The Show Is Heavily Scripted
I don’t want to say that this show is entirely scripted, but it is meant to be. Each episode has a full script. Which is crazy since these wrestling superstars (and lesser stars) are followed around everywhere for hours and hours! How do you waste so much time scripting that sh*t!? But it’s true. When you see a scene, unless a character is really drunk or really whacked out of it from drugs or fatigue, chances are that they planned it just the way it turned out. All the breakups and fights and ridiculous confessions. Almost all of them are complete bullsh*t. I mean, it is a “reality” tv show so that shouldn’t really be a surprise, but I mean come on. I swear the only reason they leave cameras rolling as long as they do it in hopes of getting some real drama on tape because of drunkenness or frustration. But you’ll never know the truth!
13. Saved By The Bellas (The Show Saved Their Careers)
You’d think that because the Bella Twins are considered to be so smokin’ to so many people that it would make sense that they branch out into several tv shows so that everyone can continue to enjoy them. Right? Well, the truth is that these sisters were actually on their way out. They lost a lot of traction in the WWE once they split as a team. As a sexy twin team, they were dynamite but once there was betrayal people had to pick sides and they weren’t so hot when they weren’t together so people lost interest. It’s a good thing they both agreed to do Total Divas. It basically saved their wrestling careers. And now, for Brie Bella, it’s giving her a main source of income because she doesn’t wrestle anymore. And they even got a stupid spin-off show for their work called Total Bellas.
12. Digging Up Dolph And Nikki’s Past For Added Drama
It turns out that Dolph Ziggler used to sleep with Nikki Bella back in the day. Of course, you can’t really take much of this too seriously because it is still part of a “reality” tv show. There seems to be some truth in that they used to hook up or date or whatever they call it in the weird world of wrestling. But as far as silly talk about marriage and kids and all that on the part of Ziggler…I think that’s complete bullsh*t. I mean, he’s well known for picking up groupies and wrestlers alike all the time. I don’t think there was ever going to be a chance that he and Nikki were going to settle down together. Or, maybe Nikki is the reason why Ziggler sleeps around so much now. He’s trying to deal with the loss of his only love Nikki Bella to the infamous John Cena. Give me a f*cking break!
11. Did Paige Really Have A Miscarriage?
See, here’s the thing. Either way you look at it, this story is pretty messed up. Here’s the scene: there is a baby shower for I forget which wrestler because no one actually cares. So all the divas show up, of course. But Paige is acting really weird and doesn’t seem too into all the fun. Why? Well, we find out that when she was 18, she had a miscarriage. Now look… Either the producers made up this terribly sad story of her having a miscarriage just to add some drama, which is sick…or she actually did have this miscarriage and the producers of the show told her she had to tell her story…just for added drama. Also sick. Like I said, either way, it’s screwed up.
10. There’s Some Real Drama Even Though It’s Scripted…
This might sound like complete nonsense. That there are some pretty real moments of drama in the show even though it is all scripted (in spite of how sh*tty all the “actors” are). But it’s true. You wouldn’t expect it to be because of this but the cameras are always rolling on this show. These ladies are followed everywhere. Which means when they go out and drink (or stay home and drink) there’s a camera there. When they’ve finally had enough of all the bullsh*t and they just let loose on another diva and the catfight begins or the river of tears starts…there’s a camera there. And these moments happen. You might not be able to point them all out when you watch the show, but it is littered with real moments because it’s not like the gals are trained actors who can just stick to a script.
9. The Show Ruined Natalya’s Career
Natalya Neidhart was one of the most promising female talents in the whole WWE at one point. She’s sort of wrestling royalty. She’s related directly (and removed) to Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart, as well as Bret ‘The Hitman’ and Owen Hart. That’s a pretty big deal. Classic Canadian wrestlers right there. But she has been involved in some of the stupidest story arcs in the whole company (and that’s me remembering that Kane and Lita got married once). Natalya was a real force to be reckoned with at first. But when she was shown as soft and funny on Total Divas her audience sort of began to turn on her. And so did Vince McMahon. He gave her storylines like she would fart at awkward moments when talking to wrestlers…just to mess with her. And that killed her ratings.
8. Some Divas Hate The Idea Of The Show
When it came time to cast the show, there was a call out to all of the hot female superstars. At the time, this still included the amazing AJ Lee. But there were a few women who decided that they weren’t there to act (thank God) but were there to wrestle. Sasha Banks (AKA The Boss) was another one of the leading ladies who basically told the WWE to shove it when they asked her to appear. Charlotte Flair has appeared on the show, but she has never been a regular. I guess that makes sense. She is friends with some of the women on the show, so it stands to reason that she might be around sometimes. Either way though, it’s pretty awesome to know that there are even some divas who agree with most of the rest of the world in saying that Total Divas is a stupid show.
7. Surprise! John Cena Is Not Really A Nice Guy
I know it might seem like John Cena is an incredibly nice guy all of the time…and I mean all of the damn time. I think that’s why kids like him so much and adults hate him so much. Sure, the military likes him because he always goes out to meet the troops. And that is really cool of him to do, but it’s just sad that it’s John Cena doing it. Anyway, from some anonymous tipsters on the show, it turns out that John Cena is actually a huge prick. I mean, they sort of show his controlling attitude and prankster ways on the show. But he is way more controlling behind the scenes as well. Considering he is also responsible for a lot of the hiring and firing simply because of his influence backstage at wrestling events, it makes a lot of sense that he would also be that prick on the set of Total Divas. Remember, he was a thug once.
6. Natalya Was Accused Of Being An Evil Dominatrix
This is just hilarious. Well, hilarious and sad. Yes, the photo you are looking at right now is Natalya bent over about to receive a smack from a dominatrix. Many speculate that the reason this segment even exists on the show in the first place is that someone accused Natalya of being an “evil dominatrix”. They even filed a lawsuit against her. Of course, the guy who did this was already himself a prisoner so the lawsuit fell apart pretty quickly. So, taking this very real and stupid moment in time, they decided to give it some life on Total Divas. But it got pretty awkward pretty quick. The whole point of hiring the dom was so that Natalya could learn some moves for inside the ring…I’m not sure how often spanking happens anymore, but Natalya’s boyfriend quickly vacated the area so he didn’t get caught.
5. Naomi And Jimmy Uso Are Too Boring For The Show
It’s pretty incredible when the WWE thinks you’re too boring for one of their sh*tty “reality” tv shows. But this is what happened with Naomi and Jimmy Uso. Once upon a time, they were just dating and both were on the show regularly. There was room to make love triangles happen and cause drama in their real-life relationship… which is more than just a little messed up. But then they decided to tie the knot, get hitched; all that fun stuff. Well, the show already had their married and engaged couples like Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan, or Nikki Bella and John Cena, so the new Uso couple became pointless. Especially since they went out and got married in a way that wasn’t near as big as Cena’s WrestleMania proposal to Nikki Bella. So, they were pulled from the show for two years!
4. The Show Fakes Breakups All The Time
How many of you remember Summer Rae!? If you don’t, then you need to learn a few things. But before you do any of that, all you really need to learn is that Total Divas is total bullsh*t. Summer Rae was Fandango’s dancing partner for a long time before there was stage drama with all of that and before he started that ridiculous tag team with what’s-his-face Breeze. Anyway, turns out that Summer Rae and Fandango were dating. I seriously doubt that they still are given how often these wrestlers mess around on each other. But if they are…then good for them. Either way, Total Divas would have you believe that they broke up a long time ago. There was all sorts of drama in the show about them splitting…but here’s the thing…they actually didn’t split at all.
3. Del Rio Thinks Paige Would Boost The Show’s Ratings
Here is something that Alberto Del Rio is likely not wrong about. Paige has always been a controversial part of the WWE company; her mouthy attitude mixed with her naughty tapes with other wrestlers, tied in with her drug use, plus her explosive relationship with now former wrestler Alberto Del Rio have really made her a force to be reckoned with. But here’s something very honest about the reality of the stupid “reality” tv show. Its ratings are going down. The Bellas are losing steam (which is not surprising). And Paige was pulled from the show for a while thanks to drug allegations and all sorts of other shit. And you know what? I bet if they threw her back in that show as the star, the ratings would go through the roof because of all the naughty things she’s done. Del Rio is just right.
2. Big E Might Be The Best Actor In The WWE
This was perhaps the most surprising thing for me to learn while researching this ridiculous article. I mean Big E Langston is not exactly the most amazing actor at all. I preferred him when he used to be Ziggler’s bodyguard and would stand there stoically until he had to destroy someone (which he would do very efficiently). Those were such great times. But then he ended up in the bizarre tag team The New Day. And he just became very silly. Apparently, that’s how he is in real life so he really wanted to take on that persona. Fair enough. And he plays silly well (to the point that many people can’t stand it). But here’s the interesting thing. He’s either the best actor in the WWE, or he really is just that bloody silly. Look at the photo above. This man really plays silly well.
1. The Bellas Weren’t Sure About Doing The Show
This is actually something that surprised the hell out of me when looking into the making of this ridiculous show. Considering how much it saved the Bellas’ careers it’s hard to believe that they struggled to make the decision to do the show. Apparently, they were both very insecure about the whole thing. They weren’t sure if they were ready to put their lives on display. Lucky for them that they didn’t really need to do that at all. That’s probably what finally convinced them. It’s not like the show is actually based in reality. So it being scripted and fake probably got them on board in the end (well, that and the money). Either way, considering that the Bellas got their initial tv start in “reality” tv, and considering that they are now huge “reality” stars with two shows they star in…I can’t believe that they had trouble saying “yes”.
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