With all the money celebrities have, it’s always a mystery why some never fix their teeth. From rotting molars to chipped incisors to plaque-stained bicuspids and gaping holes where teeth oughta be, these dentally-challenged stars should stop spending money on fast cars and designer duds and shell out some cash to their orthodontist.
A stunning smile is always inviting and makes or breaks a person’s looks, so even a super-attractive star can suddenly become frightful when their grin reveals yellow, crooked, or gnarly teeth. Not only are their dental woes hard to look at, but the thought of the associated poor dental hygiene habits and related bad breath can cause us to tune out when we tune in to one of these celeb’s TV programs, movies, or music videos.
Of course, barely anyone is born with perfect teeth, but as a celebrity who otherwise seeks the best of the best, it’s always a mystery as to why they’d opt to keep their teeth in a Jack-O-Lantern state. A closed-lipped smile may look OK on the red carpet, but once they open their pie holes to read their lines or belt out their latest hit, those gross teeth really bite them on the ass.
Take a peek (if you dare) at these 15 celebs with teeth that should never be viewed in hi-def. They may be talented in their crafts, but no dentist will give them an award for “Best Smile” with the current condition of their mouths. Surely these stars know that their teeth are far from “pearly whites” and maybe they believe their imperfections make them unique. But when they say “cheese” for the camera, the “tooth” comes out and we all see their gruesome grins.
15 Kate Moss
When Kate Moss broke into the modelling world, fans and other models were taken aback by her waif-like looks and shorter-than-average (for a model) stature. But was anyone paying any attention to her teeth? For a model, they are far from perfect, very pointy and sharp, and quite uneven. Even so, Moss’ career is one of the most notable in the history of modelling, and she has been saying “cheese” for paychecks larger than most people’s life savings. Moss has been in the catwalking game for decades and her beauty has not faded, and her teeth haven’t changed either. Now that she’s known for her unique look, going for a set of generic veneers would only make Moss less desirable to advertisers. It goes to show you that even one of the highest paid supermodels is not perfect. Most would take her teeth if they also got the rest of the package.
14 Mike Tyson
While some may think Mike Tyson’s jacked up teeth are due to being repeatedly punched in the face, it’s not entirely clear if he already had a natural dental disaster or it was aided by his boxing career. Either way, Tyson’s got a set of teeth that are not only easily recognizable, but one to steer clear of… he’s been known to chomp down on an ear when called for. Tyson has a large gap between is two front teeth and has been seen with gold caps –either for style or for protection of damaged or decaying teeth which lie beneath. Nowadays, Tyson’s facial tattoo distracts our eyes from what’s going on behind his lips, but we still get a glimpse of his dental dilemma with every ear-to-ear smile. Boxing can be brutal, so it’s a miracle his teeth aren’t worse than they are, but to maintain his “tough guy” image, veneers and bonding wouldn’t go with the overall package.
13 Steve Buscemi
Talk about a mouthful of noticeable teeth (and not for their winter whiteness or perfect alignment). Steve Buscemi is a well-recognized and successful actor who has been in a number of hit movies including Reservoir Dogs, The Big Lebowski, Pulp Fiction, and Fargo, but he’s just as popular for those odd teeth which often steal the show. While Buscemi doesn’t land roles for his sexy body or model-like looks (sorry dude), perhaps his overly-toothy smile and packed-like-a-can-of-sardines teeth make his on-screen presence all the more true to life. Plus, with all his years in the movie making business, if Buscemi were to change up his signature look now, nobody would recognize him. Hey, as long as he brushes those bad boys regularly and gets semi-annual checkups, Buscemi’s jacked-up smile ought to stay as is. It has been part of his schtick for so long, we may actually miss those not-so-pearly yellows.
12 Channing Tatum
Yes, ladies, there is something about your favorite movie star hunk that isn’t perfect. Have you ever taken a close look at his teeth? For a fella who seems really into his outward appearance, one would think the now-rich celeb would use some of that Magic Mike money and spend it on some veneers or caps. While it’s not Tatum’s teeth most people are generally looking at, with a face as handsome as his, he ought to go for that final step and make it a “perfect 10.” Yes, his teeth are pretty straight, but they look quite sharp and jagged. One love bite on his wife’s neck, and she’ll be road kill for vampires. A buff body and muscles for days are one thing to marvel at, but pointy and mismatched teeth are not meant for an open-mouth smile. It’s a good thing we’re focused on Tatum’s grinding on the dance floor and not the grinding of his teeth late at night.
11 Will Ferrell
Funnyman Will Ferrell is always making his fans smile, but when he smiles, suddenly things become a whole lot less humorous. Ferrell is better known for his sense of humor than his looks, but those twisted teeth make the Zoolander star a far cry from anything that resembles a model. Perhaps from behind the Anchorman chair, the star’s choppers are not as noticeable as they are up close, but in his acting headshots, it’s safe to say Ferrell sported a closed-lipped smile. Ferrell’s tooth travesty is more pronounced on the bottom set of teeth, but they always seem to show while Ferrell is delivering those clever one-liners and ridiculous comedic tirades. As funny as he is, Ferrell doesn’t need any cosmetic surgery to land him some of the most coveted comedy rolls. In fact, a sprig of parsley stuck between his two front teeth may even score him more laughs!
The blonde and beautiful singer, Jewel, is a diamond in the rough, but her teeth are just plain rough. An otherwise attractive gal, those snaggly teeth are a distraction from her lovely looks and impressive vocals. She has said she won’t get her choppers fixed and they are part of her charm, but with all the money she’s made since she’s made it, what’s a veneer or two to make her slightly-off smile a little sweeter? Even with her dental downfall, Jewel still looks great and the teeth issues don’t affect her ability to belt out her hits like “Foolish Games,” “Who Will Save Your Soul,” and “Standing Still.” She seems to have nice white teeth, so even though she won’t go for braces, at least she’s OK with Crest and Colgate. Perfection isn’t necessary when you’re a number 1 hit-maker, but Jewel’s orthodontist would love to make her smile even more Grammy-worthy.
9 Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse was a legend gone too soon, but while she was still with us, one thing that stood out about her look (aside from her signature sky-high beehive hairdo) was her dire dental situation. Her teeth gave that old stereotype about the Brits and their bad teeth some validity, as her teeth were a dentist’s worst nightmare/biggest possible paycheck. Of course, why would Winehouse even give much thought to getting any dental work when she was busy writing and performing hits including “Back to Black,” “Rehab,” and “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.” Winehouse always wore lots of thick black eyeliner, so perhaps that was her attempt to draw attention upwards and away from her mouth region. Regardless of her troubling teeth, Winehouse is sorely missed by her throngs of fans who’d give an arm and a leg to see one last glimpse of her teeth, no matter their state, if they had the chance.
8 Ethan Hawke
Fans love actor Ethan Hawke for his memorable and pivotal roles in films including Boyhood, Before Sunrise, Dead Poets Society, and Reality Bites. But his smile? Not so much. Most would argue that Hawke is one of the most handsome fellas in Hollywood, but his twisted teeth are best left hidden behind his lips. Some would say his crooked front teeth give him an innocent boyish charm, but orthodontists would rather straighten out his smile so he could achieve pure star-worthy perfection in the oral department. Hawke has been on the Hollywood scene for decades and his dental issue hasn’t slowed him down, so why mess with a good thing? Ladies love him, fellas want to be him, and movie makers are always after his talent on screen. Maybe a crooked smile is the key to celeb success? He may not land a gig for a toothbrush commercial, but then again, there’s always Photoshop.
7 Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise is a decades-long A-lister with timeless good looks and raw talent that has held steady for decades. He has that All-American “alpha male” charm, bright sparkly eyes, a nice head of hair, and a winning smile. Well… maybe not so much winning, as his two front teeth seem to be oddly misaligned. They are off center to the rest of his face, and once you notice the asymmetry, you simply can’t stop staring. Cruise is always aiming for perfection in all areas of his life, so the fact that he’s done nothing (or not enough) to fix his kooky teeth makes one wonder if there’s simply no way to repair his one flaw. He jumped on Oprah’s couch for Katie, but where are the kudos for his orthodontist? Cruise screamed, “Show me the money!” in Jerry Maguire, but “Show me the braces!” certainly was not part of the script.
6 Gary Busey
Gary Busey is a larger-than-live personality with a tall frame and large teeth to match. Even with his out-there antics and crazy appearances, his teeth often distract from even his wackiest of ways. His teeth are obviously capped or false in some way, and why he opted for such huge ones is a question on everyone’s minds. While his tremendous teeth haven’t stopped the roles from coming in, seeing them on the big screen is scarier than “grandma’s” teeth in Little Red Riding Hood. We’ve enjoyed watching Busey on screen in films including Point Break, Under Siege, The Buddy Holly Story, and Big Wednesday, but his teeth have a bigger role than he does in some of them. At 72-years-old, Busey is no spring chicken, so perhaps he’s set in his ways and will never give up his large and in charge dental work. He must use a full tube of toothpaste with every brushing!
5 Hillary Clinton
She didn’t win the presidency nor will she win the dental award for best teeth. Not even one for decent teeth for that matter. Hillary Clinton surely smiles a lot, even with her recent political loss, but when she flashes her teeth, nobody’s blinded by their whiteness. With the money she’s spent on designer pantsuits, various hairdos, and hardcore campaigning, she would have been better off setting aside a few bucks for a pack of whitening strips or a set of veneers. We’ve seen worse teeth in the mouths of politicians (and have heard even more horrific things come out of them), but with Clinton’s classic ear-to-ear grin, it’s hard to focus on anything but her plaque and fillings. Now that she’s got some time off from the campaign trail, perhaps a visit to the dentist will put Clinton back in better spirits. Retirement with hubby Bill is coming soon, and fireside smooching will be a heck of a lot nicer with some fresh teeth.
Madonna is one of the most famous people to have ever existed, she’s got more money than one could ever spend, and considers herself a trend setter. One trend we won’t be following is that of her choices in the dental realm. It seems she added additional space between her two front teeth over the years and the color of those choppers isn’t even close to white. “Madge” spends a lot of time working on her physique and some have suggested she’s had plastic surgery on her face, so why leave out those poor teeth? They are “Borderline” unattractive. Maybe the fact that Madonna doesn’t give a hoot about her teeth is her way to show she isn’t “Hung Up” on the little things, but when a tooth comes loose during her next concert, she’ll be “Frozen” with embarrassment. “Like a Prayer,” we are wishing that Madonna pays less attention to Twitter and gives a little more focus to her dental care.
3 Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp is one of the world’s most sought-after actors, with years and years of material under his belt, making him one of Hollywood’s finest A-listers. He has rugged good looks, piercing eyes, and hair that women and men go crazy for. Most people envy Depp’s life, from his romantic relationships (except for the last one) to his fame and fortune. However, nobody’s trying to cut the line to snag Depp’s gnarly set of bad-looking teeth. Some are real, some are gold, some look decayed, and the rest are a mystery. Yes, such teeth were useful when Depp played the role of a pirate, but when he starred in Edward Scissorhands, his teeth could have done the cutting just as well. Maybe Depp’s teeth became rotten due to eating too much candy during production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And who woulda thought Black Mass was really a tale of a deep cavity in the back of Depp’s mouth?
His name may be Fabolous, but those crooked choppers are far from fabulous. The hip-hop artist makes big bucks, but none of them are going towards any orthodontic work. Even he “Can’t Deny It,” those snagglers are as pointy and crooked as a shattered glass bottle. Perhaps the imperfect grin is part of Fabolous’ charm, but all we see is a million chances for him to painfully bite the inside of his cheek while eating a sandwich or from simply talking, for that matter. Fabolous has sung, “Make Me Better,” but it is obvious this tune has nothing to do with what is going on in his messed up mouth. Even with his kooky smile, the artist has no problem showing off his naturally ragged teeth to his fans and fellow celebs. When it comes to Fabolous’ teeth as they are now, he is telling them, “Can’t Let You Go.”
1 Morgan Freeman
Actor Morgan Freeman is practically a legend in his own time. He’s been in countless successful films including The Shawshank Redemption, Bruce Almighty, and Seven, and his acting chops are always top notch. Freeman always comes to mind when one mentions Million Dollar Baby, but as for a million dollar smile, he’s the last person anyone’s thinking about. At nearly 80-years-old, some may be impressed the actor still has teeth at all, but with all the dough Freeman’s made over the span of his career, you’d think a chunk of it would go towards a little dentistry to keep that smile fresh and sparkly. If only he were Driving Miss Daisy to her dental appointment, perhaps Freeman could have seen the doc once she was done. Maybe getting dental work isn’t on Freeman’s Bucket List but the rest of his life seems pretty darn perfect. So keep smiling with those imperfect teeth and we’ll keep watching!
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