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With every big celebrity there is at least one conspiracy theory. For some celebrities (Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Kanye West) there are multiple.

Often a celebrity who doesn’t die young and inspire conspiracy theories in that direction will continue to live, and in living they will grow older, may in fact look a bit different to how they did when they were young and fresh out of the celebrity nursery. Sometimes they look a fair bit different, especially if they enjoy the ‘high life’ a bit more than perhaps they should, or their weight drastically changes.

HOWEVER sometimes there are changes that conspiracy theorists genuinely believe are too great to be just aging and tequila. There are lots of facial comparisons, height comparisons, ear comparisons and freckle comparisons. Some of these celebs are clearly not the same people they started out being. They have been…..REPLACED!

But why?

There seem to be a few theories: 1) Celeb died but it would have caused worldwide rioting so they were replaced, or (more believably), 2) Celeb died and record companies/studios did not want to stop making  money on them, or 3) The Illuminati/Reptilian/New World Order has made clones or have replaced them with actors to be a part of their big plan to take over.

Sound far-fetched?

Of course it does. That’s what they want you to think.

So read on, Earthling, and be prepared to lose all your faith in celebrity. And humanity. And the government. And capitalism. And….. The Beatles.

Turn Me On Dead Man – Paul Is Dead

The original ‘x celebrity’ who died and was replaced was the beloved Beatle Sir Paul McCartney. If I need to explain any more about who he is, go away and stop reading my list.

Allegedly Paul died in a car crash in 1966 and was replaced by a look-alike, sing-alike stand in, in order to prevent the mass suicides of desperately mourning fans.

The Beatles had a significant change of tempo in with the release of their album ‘Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ in 1967. They also at this time grew their hair out, had experimented with drugs and started wearing fashionable psychedelic clothing. Importantly, Paul was actually in a car accident in 1965 which gave him a chipped tooth and a swollen scar on his face which prompted him to grow facial hair.

The conspiracy, which Paul himself admits that the Beatles planned (though what else would he say) involved various clues all through Sgt Pepper and later albums, backwards recordings that said ‘turn me on dead man’, and ‘changes’ in Paul’s appearance and height.

The ‘new’ Paul is called Faul by believers, and he occasionally addresses the rumours, even writing a solo album called ‘Paul Is Live’, a bit of a double entendre.

John Lennon Lives The Double Fantasy

Where there is a ‘Faul’, one can also see a ‘Fohn’.

Now PLEASE don’t tell me I have to explain who John Lennon is, because I simply cannot. He was just John Lennon.

Unless you are someone who believes that the John who was shot outside the Dakota apartment block in 1980 was not actually John Lennon but a replacement, walking with his ‘handler’ Yoko Ono.

John as a 40-year-old looked very different to John as a Beatle. His nose became thin and hooked. His eyes were smaller. He left his beautiful wife for a weirdo artist. He was thinner.

He just wasn’t the same guy.

There is some cross over in this theory with the  ‘John was a CIA Agent’ and ‘John Lennon Faked his own Death and is living on a Farm in Upstate New York to Escape Fame’ theories. But which ever theory you subscribe to, the person shot and called ‘John Lennon’ was apparently not the same Merseyside Beatle who made it big.

Avril Lavigne Said See Ya Later Boi

In 2003 the music world was rocked with the tragic death of young Canadian songstress and tie wearing aficionado Avril Lavigne. Except that no-one knew about it.

Stressed from overwork and the pressures of life, saddened by the death of her grandfather, she committed suicide/was murdered and was quickly replaced by her body double, a young woman she had been paying to go out and be Avril Lavigne when Avril Lavigne no longer wanted to be Avril Lavigne.

This new Avril transitioned seamlessly into the life of the Old Avril, and when post 2003 music was released with her name on it, it was not as good as the Old Avril’s music nor sung the same. Plus the hair and skin was different. And it just wasn’t her.

I’m listening to Hello Kitty as I write this and it isn’t her. It might be Gwen Stefani in her Japanese Cultural Appropriation phase but it isn’t Avril.

Eminem Is Not The Real Slim Shady So Let's Not Make Him Stand Up

The theory goes that Marshall Mathers died at some point in the mid 2000s by overdosing on pills.

Again, his record companies and handlers did not want to lose those sweet, sweet white boy rapper dollars and so they made an android replacement/clone/stand in actor to replace Em and continue to profit of his name.

It is easy to see why this conspiracy exists if you don’t put his physical changes down to aging and weight fluctuations.

Apparently changes in his lyrics, changes in his ears and hair patterns as well as changes in his clothing style are all evidence that the real Slim Shady needs to stand up.

Variations of this conspiracy put is death at 1999, and say that all his songs were re-recorded by an imposter and that if you didn’t hear ‘early’ pre 1999 Eminem, you have never heard the real Em at all.

Beyoncé, Surrogate Mother To All Conspiracies

Conspiracy theorists get a lot of mileage out of Beyoncé. Maybe because she seems SO perfect, beautiful and ageless, talented and ostensibly happily married. Maybe because she is arguably the most powerful woman in pop and also black and that may bother some people. Perhaps because she is a woman who makes a lot of paper.

No matter why, alongside the ‘Beyoncé’s fake pregnancy’ rumors and the ‘ Beyoncé is the mother of Solange’ rumours, and even the (I think) quite credible theory that Beyoncé has shaved a few years off her age.

Beyonce apparently died sometime before the release of "Lemonade". And luckily Jay-Z and her other handlers had a clone all ready to replace her.

There is even video ‘evidence’ showing Beyonce rocking softly to herself while next to Jay-Z at a game, and not to mention all Beyonce’s own talking about her alter ego Sasha Fierce. Sasha Fierce indeed, more like Sasha Cloned.

Jay-Z, Is He A Handler Clone?

Shawn Carter, or Jay-Z is an American success story. He came from nothing, had talent, worked really hard and is now married to Beyonce, is or isn’t cheating on her with Becky with the Good Hair, and has lots of money.

He may also be a clone. Possibly a robot clone. Either under the control of the Illuminati himself, or using the Illuminati to control Beyonce. Either way he hasn’t aged very much and so he must be a robot because robots or ‘robotoids’ (like a hybrid robot-human?) don’t age very much and it is all. Very. Weird.

Plus, why did Solange attack him in the elevator? Is it all connected?

I just hope that if Jay and Bey are really clones, that the real Jay and Bey are happy somewhere on an island, being happy and loving together, untouched by all these accusations and drama.

Miley Cyrus Is No Longer Partying In The USA

Anyone who looks at Miley can see she is not the same person she was when she was Hannah Montana because she GREW UP!

I mean, um, because she got replaced of course.

Real Miley was either found dead in her bathtub after overdosing on prescription drugs, or killed by Disney executives when she refused to participate in some alleged group adult activities, and her body dumped in the desert. Luckily she already had a stand in prepared from her Hannah Montana days to step right in and be the New Miley.

Lucky. Otherwise we may never have seen the twerking and the tongue and Anne Hathaway’s LipSync battle Wrecking Ball performance, which I thought was fantastic.

Now Fake Miley has started to ‘go back to her roots’, i.e. pass as Real Miley with her new song Malibu.

Clever Fake Miley.

Fake Taylor Swift Filled A Blank Space

Ok, so this one is a little more complicated.

The story goes that the Illuminati (who tbh have such a great work ethic, do they ever rest?) cloned the former Satanic High Priestess, Zeena LaVey and replaced Taylor Swift with this clone because they looked similar enough for this to happen.

Presumably, the Real TS who has been writing songs since she was 5 is locked in a basement somewhere churning out hits for her double to perform.

Having already achieved a modest world domination, what is there left for Fake Taylor to achieve? She might be a High Priestess of Satanism but what does she actually do? Make money? Mind control?

Well it's not working is it, if people are on to you, Fake Taylor. You are busted. Time to let Real Taylor out of her basement into the fresh light of day again!

Angelina Jolie, Girl Interrupted

Angelina Jolie has always been a unique and unconventional beauty. The daughter of Hollywood veteran John Voigt, Angelina is an Oscar winner who is arguably more famous for her relationships than her vast acting catalog.

However there are those who believe that Angelina Jolie was replaced with a fake Fangelina Folie just after her 1995 movie Hackers.

This means that the balance of Angelina’s work should actually be attributed to Fangelina, and don’t even ask me how to pronounce Brfangelina.

Angelina is one person who I think age has been very kind to. In my opinion she is better looking now than she was at the beginning of her career, and she may have in fact had certain subtle surgical ‘enhancements’ to her face. She has also lost a lot of childlike chubbiness on her face, something that happens when people age. Is she a different person? What do you think?

Kylie Jenner Just Looks Different

It is CLEAR that KJen has had some work done. Anyone who can see, can see that. Not a mystery.

We have all seen awkward looking teens develop into gorgeous young adults, that is nothing new. That they develop that quickly and kind of recognizably shows that there is obviously more at stake here.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not in anyway shaming Kylie, it is her body and she can do what she wants with it – also she looks great. But the changes, eyes, nose, cheeks, lips, chin, breasts, hips and derriere have been significant.

It has been proposed on the internet that: 1) Real Kylie was hidden away because she wasn’t pretty enough, 2) Real Kylie was hidden away because she got pregnant to Will Smith’s son Jaden, 3) Real Kylie died and Kris Jenner did not want to get into trouble for being a negligent mother, 4) Aliens.

So is Kylie really Kylie or Fylie?

I think the best evidence that it isn’t Kylie is how everyone put up with Tyga for so long.

You Get A Clone! Oprah Gets A Clone! We All Get A Clone!

Arguably the most powerful person on this list, Oprah has been on all the rich and powerful lists for decades. She Gives people Cars. She is all over it.

But is Oprah really Oprah, or is she Foprah?

According to theorists, the OWN network owner (turn OWN around to get NWO or New World Order) has been cloned a lot of times, at all different weights. This explains her ‘yoyo dieting’ rather than actually that she was yoyo dieting.

I wonder where all the Oprahs sleep? Do they have a dorm? Do they have a farm? Do they have an island?

Which one was in The Color Purple? That is my favorite Oprah. My second favorite is the car giving away one. My third is the one who got Tom Cruise to jump up and down on the couch about Katie Holmes…. So many Oprahs, so little time.

Is John Travolta Staying Alive?

In 1991 the world was horrified not to discover that John Travolta, aka John, was replaced by Fon Fravolta, AKA Roy Black, German singer and alleged heart attack victim. They do look pretty similar, but what happened to the real John?

There seems to be radio silence on this on the internet. Let's put forward some theories: 1) He actually went up to heaven with Sandy at the end of Grease. That was real footage. 2) Scientology.

Whatever the reason, apparently John is really dead and Fohn is really married to Kelly Preston.

And why would Roy Black give up his life for John Travolta’s?

Money of course.

All The Christina Aguileras Are Beautiful, No Matter What They Say

There are a few arcs to this particular story.

The first one is that she was replaced by the Illuminati with not one but MANY clones/stand ins who look very different to each other with different skin colors, weights, face shapes and attitudes. Some seem drugged. Some seem more chipper. They are all different and they are all Christina.

Never mind that Xtina has been in the public eye from teenage to adulthood and through childbirth and aging. None of that makes you look any different.

None of this really answers the incredible voice though – I mean who else can do that voice? The answer to this is obviously cloning – cloning and voice training.

I think all those FauXtina’s are wasted though – they should all be singing together and giving Pentatonix a run for their money. Aca-believe it, those clones have some talent.

(Not) The One And Only, Miss Britney Spears

Britney Spears is my favourite person on this list and don’t judge me.

Britney’s rather cinematic decent into mental illness on a very public level left her wide open for lots of speculation about what she is actually doing. Is she a plant? A spy? A distraction from President George W.? What is going on?

Well rumor has it that Brit and Justin Timberlake were in a terrible car accident in the late nineties/early noughties. JT was permanently put in a coma and Brit was decapitated and replaced.

The evidence for this is that basically she looks different. Her eyes are different, she is not he girl she once was. Nor yet the woman? Sorry, sorry my bad.

My only argument to this is that if she is a clone or series of clones, why Kevin Federline? What was with that? Surely they could have controlled her away from that gold digger?

Come on handlers, where were you?

Did Justin Timberlake Bring Sexy Back…From A Coma?

When Miss Britney Jean Spears allegedly stole her Mama’s car keys and took boyf Justin Timberlake out for a joyride, who wudda thunk that she would end up decapitated and with Justin in a perma-coma.

With her debut album ready to go, her record company made the popular decision to get a fake Justin – Fustin – and Britney – Fritney – and just make their paper.

Justin is allegedly STILL comatose, and his doppelgänger is STILL making music. And babies with Jessica Biel so it's not like there aren’t perks to being Fustin.

Still, it makes one wonder why some young superstars just got to die without being cloned – Amy Winehouse, Kurt Cobain, Aaliyah; surely some money could have still been made after their deaths?

But who am I to judge? I always thought these people were genuine.