I'm sure most of you have had a girlfriend or boyfriend at some point in your lives. If not, then I'm sure you've imagined that the pillow on your futon in the basement of your parents' place was a girlfriend of some sort. But have you ever made your lover sign a legal document to make sure that they don't talk about what went on? Or to make sure they don't talk about your personal life?
I'm going to guess that most, if not all, of you have never done this before. It's crazy to think about...unless you're a celebrity and all you really care about is what you're hiding. To be fair, some celebs might just be hiding very personal information that they just don't want the public knowing because it's actually none of their business. I get that.
Apparently, it's a pretty common thing for celebrities to get lovers to sign off on keeping their mouths shut about the money they make and the naughty things they do in the sack. So, let's see some examples of some popular celebrities and how they go about keeping lovers quiet about their love lives...though...since we know about it, does that mean it didn't quite work?
16 Scott Disick
Wow, it's crazy how much Scott Disick looks like Christian Bale circa American Psycho. That doesn't mean you should judge him based on that, but I'm just saying it's creepy to think about a guy who looks like that trying to get you to sign an NDA. Anyway, do you remember when Disick was a regular on Keeping Up With The Kardashians because he was with Kourtney Kardashian? Do you recall when all he would basically do is blubber because his life was so hard? Well, I guess it never got much easier. He and Kourtney broke up and I'm willing to bet he talks to his new lovers a lot about Kourtney because, all of a sudden, he's got every new girl in his life signing an NDA. Kourtney probably had him sign one back in the day.
15 Justin Bieber
Here's someone who definitely uses NDAs when he's in a relationship or just picking up some groupies after a concert, but it hasn't quite worked out for Bieber all that well. I mean, it could very well be that he didn't start using NDAs until after a bunch of high profile relationships managed to leak out tons of personal garbage about him. I mean, his life doesn't seem to be all that secretive. Of course, Bieber has toned down a lot of his attitude and he's not always in trouble anymore...maybe that has something to do with his use of NDAs now. I mean, he was an irresponsible POS kid when he was fighting Orlando Bloom for his girlfriend. So, maybe now he's wised up...or he's at least covering his *ss with all the stupid stuff he does behind closed doors.
14 Taylor Swift
This is an interesting case. I guess I assume all celebrities drop NDAs on their lovers nowadays because the internet really makes it easy for rumors and badmouthing to spread (let this article be the case in point). What I find interesting about Taylor Swift pushing out NDAs with her lovers and boyfriends is that even though the guys aren't allowed to talk any smack about Swift (whether or not they would), she's totally allowed to turn her broken relationships into pretty obvious and fairly bad albums about breakups. The double standard with which she runs her own life is pretty staggering. If I got into a relationship with Swift (which will obviously never happen) I would make sure that she sign an agreement saying that she can't turn our relationship into music if/when we split.
13 Mel Gibson
I couldn't help myself and had to use that shot of Mel Gibson. I know it's not real, but damn it's funny. And as we all know, Gibson loves torture. Almost obsessively. We don't know that from former lovers. We just know that from all of his movies. Anyway, considering how racist, sexist and bigoted Gibson is, it's no surprise that he would want his lovers to sign an NDA. That being said, he has had some bad experience with that. I mean, he has had some pretty damning audio leaked about just how horrible he is to his significant others. Sure, it goes against the NDA, but his girlfriend hadn't signed one yet. Gibson offered her $15 million to shut up, but she was greedy, wanting more. Well, she got only $750,000 and was forced to sign an NDA (which she then broke and lost most of her settlement).
12 Tom Cruise
There is every reason why this crazy guy would have women sign NDAs. I mean, he's probably legally obligated to do it anyway simply because he's a member of that crackpot religion, Scientology. As we already know, there are some pretty intense consequences for spilling the beans about Scientology. And Tom Cruise has it good there, so he wouldn't want to lose that good life. When Katie Holmes and Cruise split, Tom was very quick to drop the NDA on her to make sure that she kept quiet. And it's not only lovers who end up getting NDAs shoved their way in the Cruise entourage. His nanny when he was with Nicole Kidman also got the NDA treatment but she talked about him and Kidman anyway. But more came about Kidman than Cruise... Interesting.
11 Mariah Carey
I'm not sure if anyone knows this, but Mariah Carey isn't exactly the sweetest person in the world. I think her fame really went to her head. I mean, back in the 90's she had attitude and was a very big name but now she's just trying to live off the fame she got back then. I mean... She has a reality tv show. That's the easiest way to show people that you're desperate for money, for sure. Anyway, when she and Nick Cannon split a few years back, the first thing Carey did (besides probably have a hissy fit), was make Cannon sign an NDA. This paper basically meant that she could talk sh*to about him all she wanted, but he was not allowed to say a word about their relationship. I think that's a pretty sh*tty deal, to be honest. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with fame.
10 Charlie Sheen
This crackpot definitely needed to have lovers sign NDAs. I'm not a huge fan of Charlie Sheen. I mean Hotshots was hilarious back in the day. I like him in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but he's not exactly the best actor in the world. That being said, he had a phase of a few years where he was going right off the deep end...that or he deserves an Oscar for the act he put on in his life. Either way, when Sheen was all about the tiger blood flowing through his veins, and his Adonis ancestors breathing fire on his food, and how much he was winning, he would make every potential lover sign an NDA. I would too if I was acting that crazy. It might be worth noting that if any of these lovers broke the agreement...they were fined $100,000!
9 Britney Spears
I can totally understand Britney Spears using NDAs for relationships. I mean, just look back at when Spears was a young star in the music scene. She went batsh*t crazy, shaved off her hair, got wrecked on drugs, and was destroyed by the media and people who had been close to her. Well, now I totally understand her covering her ass on that. She's got her career back. It's not ever going to be quite the same, but she's not hurting for money at least. I doubt that she's still with the guy, but she met a man in 2014 who she decided to start dating. How did that go at first? Well, it started with a "hello" and then was immediately followed by the handing over of an NDA. Remember, when she had her breakdown, a lot of the stories that leaked were sold to tabloids from people she loved.
Alright, Drake is just an *ss. He's also an awful singer. And an awful dancer. Sometimes I think that Canadians like myself need some better representation in the music business. I mean, Bryan Adams is still out there, and we had Leonard Cohen (RIP), but now we have Bieber and Drake. It makes me sad. Anyway, Drake doesn't just make every lover sign an NDA when he hooks up. He makes sure that his security guards grab the girl's cellphone, and even makes photocopies of their ID... Just in case I guess. That's pretty crazy. I mean... so many people talk trash about Drake. I just have been. He doesn't have my ID. If she can't take any photos or audio or video of the fun times they'll have, then what does it matter if she talks trash. She won't be able to prove it. Though I think it's easy to prove Drake is a sh*that singer. Just listen to 'Hotline Bling'.
7 Jennifer Lopez
Here's the interesting thing about Jennifer Lopez... It seems to be that she doesn't really go out of her way to make potential lovers sign NDAs. At least there's been no talk of her doing this much at all in the past, if at all. However, J Lo had a boyfriend she kept being hot and cold about. They were happy and together, and then angry and broken up. Anyway, there was a certain point where she and Casper Smart got back together and suddenly she had him signing an NDA. Now, that could mean a couple of things. Did they do something that she really just doesn't want people knowing? Or is she really just getting so close that she needs to protect herself just in case things go sour again? It's worth thinking about... If you care about J-Lo.
6 Bill Cosby
Oh, boy. This is a very interesting case, for sure! Who would have thought that Bill Cosby would be one of the people to make his lovers sign an NDA? To be fair, he definitely did not make most of the girls he assaulted (allegedly, apparently) but he did try and make one woman sign! I'm not going to name names here, but one of the women who came out against Cosby during his trial admitted that he had made her sign an NDA. Though that didn't stop her from saying that he also tricked her into taking the drugs that would ultimately lead to assault. I just find it very interesting that, in order to try and cover up the horrible things he has allegedly done, he would push an NDA on someone. That just makes me think two things. He must have thought he had something to hide... And it makes me wonder how many other celebs are hiding dark secrets on the other side of their NDAs.
5 Ben Affleck
Does anyone remember when Ben Affleck was with Jennifer Garner? Does anyone remember when it came out that he had been banging his children's nanny? It was pretty big news in the tabloids and even in supposedly reputable news outlets. Either way, believe it or not, that nanny had actually signed an NDA. That didn't stop the tabloids from getting their claws into her and getting enough info to damn Affleck for his naughty business. Even in spite of that, it's amazing to see that the nanny still has managed being supported by Affleck even after all of that crazy news erupted. You would think he might want to sue her for spilling the beans to the press. I mean, come on. Why would you keep paying for her sweet lifestyle? She must have a lot more dirt on you, Ben!
4 Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus uses NDAs (non-disclosure agreements) even if she wants a quickie from a groupie. Any hookup and/or potential relationship is met with something very interesting. Not just an NDA but also an interview with Cyrus' assistant as well as the taking of the potential fun-buddy's phone. Of course, they get their phone back when they get tossed to the curb after the fun ends. Apparently, there is a key bit of information about Miley that is important and it's that she doesn't want to receive any gifts from her hookups. I guess this was something that happened often before she decided to include not giving gifts in her NDA? She's so good that she's gift worthy to people who don't even know her...interesting. Now you know, just in case you're next.
3 Chris Brown
It's always scary when someone who likes to get punchy is asking you to sign an NDA before things get freaky. If I was a groupie, I would be out of there right away. I mean, I wouldn't be a groupie at a Chris Brown concert, but I would be concerned if he was going to make me sign an NDA, just in case he tried to love me with his fists like he did with Rihanna. Either way, the reason we happen to know that Brown hands out NDAs is pretty hilarious. There was a girl at a post-Grammy party who was hanging out with Brown and before she was allowed to really enjoy the night, she was handed an NDA by one of Brown's security guards. The funny thing was that she didn't have the idea of spending the night with him in a naughty way at all. I think Brown thinks too highly of himself.
2 Tiger Woods
This is just the perfect shot for this article. Woods would want his lovers to be quiet (given how bloody many he's had). Elin Nordegren, Woods' ex-wife was given an NDA to sign when they started proceedings for their divorce. I think he probably would have been smarter to just make his many lovers sign NDAs. But, it turns out that Nordegren is the only one he handed an agreement to. She was also apparently offered $100 million to sign and keep quiet for life. I think I would probably take that deal too. One of Woods' girls was offered $10 million to shut up, but she had to give most of it up when she accidentally spilled the beans on Celebrity Rehab. That's a sh*tty time to break an NDA.
1 Liam Gallagher
Here is one of the worst musicians in the world. And not because he's a bad musician. It's just because he's a complete a**hole. Of course, this is one of those guys who thinks he's bigger than The Beatles, which is hilarious. I know they were his inspiration but relax with the arrogance! Anyway, here is an example of a celeb who didn't end up getting the girl to sign on the dotted line. Back when he was married, he knocked up another girl. First, he didn't believe her, so he had a paternity test done. Once it proved that he was the father, he immediately went on to hand her the NDA to keep her quiet about their relationship and his money. Well, she basically said "f*ck you" and walked away. I wonder when we'll get that story out of her. It's not like she can be charged for it, and Liam kind of deserves it.