Being able to pinpoint an untrustworthy person is a trait that not many people have. This isn't because they can't see what's in front of them, it's because they can't see through the façade that the other person has put up. In truth, untrustworthy people are very good at acting like they genuinely care for their friends and lovers, when in reality, they only care about themselves.
At some point in everyone's life, they are going to meet someone who they believe to be amazing, only to find out that they are the exact opposite of that. In certain cases, these malicious people can go undetected for years, and whether or not they are self-aware is questionable.
Trust is often misconstrued, causing people to believe that if someone can keep a secret, they are automatically trustworthy. However, trust isn't that simple, it's much more than that. A trustworthy person is someone you can depend on, someone who is honourable and honest, but most of all, someone who has your best interests at heart.
While some people will rub you the wrong way from the start, others will find their way into your core group and start acting out in benign ways. Eventually, their essence will start affecting the ones around them, which will result in them getting exposed for who they truly are. However, this can take a number of years or even a lifetime, and by then some of the damage they've caused can seem irreversible, but it isn't. In order to stop this from happening, here are some common traits found in people you can't trust.
15 They Are Constantly Changing Friends
Being able to pinpoint who is trusting and who isn't is an art that few have mastered. Which is why being familiar with the signs attributed to an untrustworthy person is dire. When trying to figure out whether you can trust someone, examine their group of friends, as this will show you their true colors.
If your new friend or lover doesn't have any friends. Or used to have some but is now on bad terms with them, chances are they did something to piss them off. When a person bounces from group to group, only to be rejected within a couple of years (or less), this could be a clear sign that they aren't a trustworthy person. Yet, when you meet someone who has a loving group of friends, who they've known for a long time. It can be a lot easier for you to trust them, as other people already do.
14 They Are Negative
An easy way to see if someone is genuinely a good person, is to watch how they react when others are in the spotlight. If you notice that your friend constantly has a negative outlook towards other people's success. What is going to stop them from being negative when it's you who achieves your goals? In order to trust someone, you need to know that they have your best interests at heart. Meaning that they support and value your dreams, even when it throws them some shade.
Chances are, if a person talks negatively about everyone around them, they are going to do the same about you as soon as your back is turned. Since good friends are supposed to build each other up, encountering someone who is negative towards the success and happiness of others is a clear sign that you can't trust them. Because as soon as the spotlight is on you, their jealousy is going to settle in.
13 They Lack Empathy
Failing to exude compassion and empathy when something horrible happens is a quality that murderers hold. However, this quality can also be attributed to untrustworthy people, as they also have a different way of seeing things. In a way, a dishonest person cannot have a large amount of empathy, because if they did, they would not treat people the way they do. When someone treats the people closest to them in a morose way, it is a clear indication that they lack a certain form of empathy. Because if they were empathetic, they would think twice before going for low blows during a fight, or backstabbing their friends.
Being able to use people for their own benefit, or not care about how their actions effect them, is not something that a caring person is able to do. Which is why having a dog-eat-dog outlook on life doesn't always make you a reliable person.
12 They Are Reckless
Being reckless is one of the most common traits found in someone you can't trust. This is because they often don't care or think about the consequences of their actions. Which makes them believe that they can act out in any way they want, without fearing any possible retributions. Because of this, driving while impaired is something that untrustworthy people have been known to do. Despite having been in previous crashes while intoxicated.
Being reckless and not thinking about how their actions can negatively affect someone else is what makes them untrustworthy. How could you trust someone when knowing that they would drive like a buffoon with you in the passenger seat? Drunk or not, these types of people usually drive recklessly, and still find ways to divert the blame when they get pulled over by the police. In the end, when you care about people and want them to trust you, you don't put their life in threatening situations. It's as easy as that.
11 They Avoid Their Issues
An unauthentic person is going to have many different attributes, most of which are easy to pinpoint. For one, they will always have a pile of things to do, yet refuse to dedicate the time to do them. For example, when tax season comes around, they might not have their papers in order, and so they will refrain from filing them. Also, they might have a long trail of expenses that have gone unpaid for, because they didn't want to go without money for a little while.
Instead of meeting their issues head on, and solving them, they will let them pile up without so much as a second thought. Driving with a suspended license isn't an issue to them, and neither is skipping out on their court dates. Because they would rather not think about it and go on with their normal lives.
10 They Are Unfaithful To Their Partners
One of the most obvious signs that someone is not of the trusting type, is their incapability to stay true in their relationships. Worst of all, when cheating has occurred, they do not feel as though they need to tell their partner. They refuse to come clean because they are convinced that they've done nothing wrong. Choosing to write it off not as cheating, but a minor and insignificant indiscretion. Should they be cheated on in the same manner, on the other hand, they would become aggressive and vengeful because their pride took a blow. Causing them to lash out in anger until they felt as though their ex had learned their lesson.
While they might believe they are in love, their dedication is often swayed by their vanity. Making them unable to refuse the come-ons of others, as they enjoy the attention. These people are usually unable to keep a healthy relationship, thus resulting in them being alone for long increments of time.
9 They Are Highly Competitive
Have you ever had a friend that made you feel as though you were in constant competition with them? Even when there was nothing to compete about? If you have felt this before but been reluctant to address it. It is wise to trust your gut and confront them about it. However, don't be surprised if this conversation leads to a fight.
Since untrustworthy people have trouble making human connections. It isn't uncommon for them to find someone they admire and try to mimic their personal traits. While this could be flattering to some people, it can end up backfiring on them. As underhand people don't enjoy being equal to others, when these people feel threatened, they tend to become competitive. This can cause them to be in constant opposition with their closest friends. Going as far as flirting with their friend's lovers to prove that they are more desirable than them.
8 They Are Self-Righteous
Another common trait found in someone you can't trust is self-righteousness. More often than not, an untrustworthy person will see themselves as holier-than-thou. Going as far as commenting on people's lifestyle, when theirs isn't any better. Instead of listening to their friends' problems, and offering valid advice, they talk down to them and offer no empathy whatsoever. In fact, these types of people do not like to be burdened by other people's emotions as they would rather be the topic of conversation.
When getting into a fight and bringing up this flaw, these people will be quick to turn the tables around. Making their friends feel as though they have a handful of issues, when they don't. Worse than that, untrustworthy people often tend to be hypocrites. Meaning that they will tell their friends that their issues are invalid. While complaining about similar ones, but expecting to be listened to.
7 They Are Charming... At First
For some reason, untrustworthy people tend to be good looking or charming, which causes them to be desired and sought after. In a way, they use this to their advantage and sway people in their direction. To win the affection of others, these toxic people comport themselves in an authentic way. Once they feel as though unconditional love is on their side, they'll start acting out, and showing their true colors.
When someone has seen both the good and bad sides to a person, they often make excuses for them based on their redeeming qualities. However, their redeeming qualities are usually faked and it is only a matter of time before the ones closest to them realize it. Commonly, dishonest people are the life of the party. They enjoy making others look at them as though they are exceptional. While this might be the case in the moment, it isn't long before the party is over and the mask comes off.
6 They Are Materialistic
While being materialistic doesn't always point towards being shady, it can very well be an indication of sorts. Being attracted to expensive products, designer brands, and money does not make you a bad person, but when paired up with more dishonest qualities, it can. Untrustworthy people are often money-hungry and hell-bent on owning over-the-top gadgets, cars, and shoes, amongst other things. This is due to their need to prove themselves and appear more successful and wealthy than those around them. In fact, it isn't uncommon for these people to be in a large amount of debt, while refusing to acknowledge that they are in financial trouble.
In order to spot these people out before getting too close to them, pay attention to how they treat people who aren't 'well dressed' versus how they treat rich-looking folks. If they act superior around people who aren't dressed to impress and are competitive with people who are, they might be trying to take on the role of the alpha.
5 They Don't Take Responsibility For Their Actions
An honest person is going to take responsibility for their actions, should they do something to upset someone. Yet, when it comes to a dishonest person, they are most likely going to play the blame-game. Instead of admitting that they made a mistake, they are going to act as though it wasn't their fault, but somebody else's.
There are many situations in which someone can show that they are kind and veritable. It can be as simple as bumping into someone accidentally and apologizing. Or borrowing something and breaking it by accident, and just replacing it. When someone refuses to right their wrongs because they feel as though they've no reason to. They choose to point a finger towards other people, instead of owning up to their mistakes. Because they see themselves as superior and don't actually care if their actions hurt other people.
4 They Are Unapologetic
Another telltale sign of a duplicitous person is their incapability to apologize and actually mean it. Because of this, they will often apologize without addressing the real issue at hand. Only to end up repeating the same action within a short span of time. This can be a very defeating ordeal for the people who care about them as it makes it impossible to further their relationship or friendship. Yet, at times it is better to cut someone off than compromise parts of one's self to accommodate someone who has proven to be untrustworthy.
When someone keeps apologizing for the same action, over and over again, it can become painfully obvious that they aren't remorseful in the slightest. Worse than that, some of these people might refuse to apologize altogether. Only to forget about the issue at hand and expect their friends to do the same.
3 They Are Manipulative
Another common trait found in an untrustworthy person, is their need to control everything in their environment. In order to do so, they find ways to manipulate their friends. Going as far as pretending to be someone they're not to lure others in. When someone who exhibits shady behaviour feels as though they are losing their audience. They often try to reel them back in by doing something kind or thoughtful. In other words, they manipulate them into thinking that they are decent, when they actually have dishonest intentions.
Also, unprincipled people are aware of their friend's empathy and often use it as a means to be forgiven. To do this, they fake certain issues, pretend to be depressed or even suicidal, to obtain what they want. What they want, however, isn't always obvious, which causes psychologists to believe that it is all about power and seeing how far a person can be pushed.
2 They Get Personal
One of the biggest giveaways, when dealing with someone you can't trust, is their need to go up and beyond during a fight. Since good friends aren't supposed to fight with one another, having a friend that is constantly provoking your emotions and toying with your insecurities is simply bad news.
Untrustworthy people often transform when angered or peeved, causing them to get personal with those closest to them. Any tidbits they have collected during their friendship will come out and get twisted maliciously, in hopes of hurting them. They do this to put people in their place and shut them up, and what's worse is that they feel no remorse about doing it. These people will have no problem targeting their friend's weight, financial issues, family, lovers, or anything they hold dear or are insecure about, in hopes of winning a fight. In fact, the more it hurts, the better because in a twisted way, it makes them feel superior.
1 They Think They're Always Right
Have you ever been friends with someone who always had to have the last word? No matter how small or insignificant the matter at hand was, they needed to be right— every single time. Worst of all, in many situations they actually weren't right, just stubborn and unwilling to admit that they had made a mistake.
An untrustworthy person will refuse to take advice or criticism, but will have no problem delivering it themselves. This is because they believe themselves to be superior, and refuse to acknowledge the fact that they aren't the best at everything. Dealing with this type of person can be very frustrating. Especially in a work setting, when it is necessary to train and teach them how to do carry out tasks in a certain manner. In fact, these types of people have trouble keeping a job where they aren't the boss as they become peeved at any slight jab towards their ego.
Sources: jamesctanner.com, lakshmanr.wordpress.com
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