Showers. They’re… fine. They're an everyday, utilitarian ritual we just have to get through so we don’t get ostracized by strangers on the street. Sure showers can feel pretty nice after a long day watching cat videos at the office, but let’s admit it: showers in general are roughly 8.2 minutes of nothing very special.
Luckily, scientific progress isn’t just for missions to Mars and self-driving cars anymore. Some of our brightest minds have eschewed the advancement of the human race in favor of making showers great again. We can rebuild it. We have the technology. We can make showers better than they once were.
Screw short, boring showers. Let’s put “hours” back into “showers” and give into glorious pruney fingers. Here are 15 gadgets that will make you never want to leave the shower again.
15 Ariel WS-701 Steam Shower With Whirlpool Bathtub
When we were children, we ate ramen, slept on futons, and drove a Versa Note. But when we grew up, we put away childish things and started eating sushi, sleeping on mattresses, and driving a car with power locks. Likewise, it’s time you upgraded your shower to the Ariel WS-701 Steam Shower with Whirlpool Bathtub.
This shower has literally everything. A 3Kw steam generator will blast clean every pore on your body while you sit on a built-in seat and get hydro-massaged by a series of 6 water jets and 12 body jets. There are two handheld shower heads, but why even bother when it has a rainfall ceiling shower? LED lighting. Blue tempered glass. Exhaust fan. A computer control panel with a useless timer since you’ll never get out.
Too lazy to stand? It’s also a Whirlpool tub. Fill it with bubble bath from the mounted liquid dispensers and take the best nap of your life. $2,779 for something you’ll use twice a day forever? Not too shabby.
14 Moen Chrome Vertical Spa Digital Control
You already have an amazing shower at home that’s basically a vertical spa. But do you really want to adjust each sprayer’s water pressure and temperature by hand like some kind of primitive beast?
Don’t be ridiculous. The Moen Chrome Vertical Spa Digital Control gives you a remote control to click on the pre-programmed shower from up to 30 feet away, so it’ll be nice and steaming by the time you leisurely walk over to it.
Want to change up something? Just adjust the temperature and flow dials as needed, and if you like the new setting, you can save it since the system will remember up to four presets. You didn’t think showering could get any easier, but it just did. For $2,613.50.
13 AKDY 39” SP0039 Shower Panel
Even if you have a small shower that you can’t rip up and replace, it doesn’t mean you are doomed to mediocre soap time. The AKDY 39” SP0039 Shower Panel is about as simple to install as replacing your shower head and will transform your rinky-dink shower into a luxury spa.
Made out of stainless steel, the AKDY boasts a slew of nozzles up and down the unit, from rainfall to waterfall to handheld to body jets. For $119.99 and with no need for any invasive re-modeling, it’s the best way to get that vertical spa experience without breaking the bank. It even comes with a 1 year parts warranty for good measure.
12 SoundBot SB510
You know what keeps you in the shower longer? Good music. But the tiny speakers on your smartphone just won’t reproduce Adele’s voice the way she’s meant to be heard. That’s where the SoundBot SB510 comes in. This $13.99 waterproof Bluetooth 3.0 speaker is the perfect companion to your shower karaoke sessions.
The SoundBot SB510 measures just 3.54 inches across and its secure-fit suction cup will adhere firmly to most shower walls. The controls are easy to use so you have total control of your playlist, and the built-in mic makes it so you can even take phone calls. Impress your friends! Of course, the best part is that the SoundBot speaker sounds great, making full use of the awesome shower acoustics. Well, not as great as your singing voice.
11 Moxie Showerhead + Wireless Speaker
Sometimes you just want to bathe in music, but that’s completely insane. You should shower in it! And with the Moxie Showerhead + Wireless Speaker, now you can. With this innovative design, the speaker will rain down tunes on you at the same time as 60 angled nozzles spray you with water.
The magnetic speaker pops into place, which means it’s also removable in case you want to take this Bluetooth speaker elsewhere… but we both know you’re not going to leave this shower. Especially since you can rock out for up to 7 hours before the speaker needs to be recharged. For $199, you can literally be showered with music. We truly are in the future.
10 Lifeguard Waterproof Headphones
The bathroom is the last bastion of solitude for those that have roommates or family or that casual hookup that hasn’t left yet this morning. But sometimes, we need to tune out the world even more than a closed door and running water. If you want to shut out the world in the shower, grab a pair of these Lifeguard HP3-01029 Bluetooth Waterproof Headphones.
Boasting high quality, full range stereo sound, these headphones will pair nicely with any Bluetooth-enabled audio device and pump music into your ears as you shower. Sure, it might be a little difficult washing your hair with these one, but that’s a small price to pay (along with $29.99) for maximum shower isolation. Bonus: no one will hear you playing that one Britney song over and over (and over) again.
9 Séura Waterproof TV
Speaking of living in the future, you knew this was coming: a TV built right into the shower. Even though we have screens everywhere, there’s still something refreshingly decadent about having a waterproof HDTV mounted right into your shower wall so you never have to miss any real housewives or stars dancing.
The Séura Indoor Waterproof TV is rated IP-65 waterproof (which is great) and is engineered with a self-defogging screen so you’ll see your steamy soaps while you soap steamily. It has all the latest inputs as well, so you can stick a Chromecast on it and stream whatever you’d like. Best of all, it comes with a waterproof remote control so you can channel surf with ease. Starting at $1999, all you’ll need now is a way to keep your popcorn dry.
8 iPad Musical Shower Curtain
Not keen on mounting a TV into your wall? Not a problem. Any shower that uses a shower curtain can transform into a multimedia powerhouse with the iPad Musical Shower Curtain. Stick an iPad (or any device, really) into the waterproof pouch which zips from the outside, connect the audio cable, and you’re ready to watch some Stranger Things.
The curtain has two speakers in the upper corners to provide stereo audio, and the clear pouch is touch-enabled so you can actually use your iPad even with soapy hands. For $29.95 and three AA batteries, you’ll be hard pressed to find another shower curtain as fun and versatile as this one.
7 Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser
Maybe you’re a fan of Family Double Dare from back in the day. Maybe you like a little body horror in your bathroom. Whatever the reason, you can pick up a soap/shampoo/ conditioner dispenser in the shape of a giant nose for $6.93. At that price, you’d be stupid not to get one.
This Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser measures 14 x 8.5 x 18 centimeters, so it’s bigger than you might expect, which makes it all the more fun/creepy. It suctions to your shower wall and dispenses at a press of the right side of the nose. It actually only dispenses from the right nostril, possibly due to a deviated septum. Buy green liquid for maximum effect, of course.
6 Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner
No one wants to spend time in a dirty shower, but oddly, no one wants to actually take the time to clean the shower either. It’s hard work! So why not let a gadget do that for you? The Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner hangs right under your shower head and just might be the best investment on this list for the lazy showerer.
Its dual sprayer will spin a full 360 degrees to douse your shower walls with cleaning liquid that will do all the hard work for you, removing stains, mold and mildew. There’s even a “booster button” to give you a little more cleaning power if you ever need it. Prevent soap scum, save your back and hands from scrubbing, and keep your shower clean for up to 30 whole days. $81.99 for a clean shower without the hassle? Deal.
5 ProSun Sunshower
The problem with never leaving your shower is that you won’t really get to feel the sun on your skin anymore. If only there was a way to bring the sun into the shower, without having to shower outdoors like some barnyard animal. That’s where the $11,000 ProSun Sunshower comes in.
Via a series of vertical, carefully balanced UV lights, the ProSun Sunshower will not just shower you with water, but with a perfect tan as well. That’s right, tan your body while washing it. Get your daily dose of vitamin D without stepping foot outside of the bathroom. The longer you shower, the better you look (seriously, when we said never leave your shower again, we meant it!).
4 Clarisonic Alpha Fit
As long as we’re in the shower for this long, we might as well, you know, actually get clean a little. But instead of using a dank old washcloth on your precious face, let’s get a little technology involved to make us look our best. The Clarisonic Alpha Fit is a face scrubber for men that will change how your wash your mug.
This brush uses sonics to give men smoother, healthy-looking skin by removing oil, sweat and dirt. Clean your face, clean your beard, exfoliate, and even get a closer shave. Not a man? The Clarisonic Mia Fit is designed for women and does much of the same, but gentler. Each costs $219 and will give your face the best shower experience its ever had.
3 Beer/Wine Holder
Many of you might intimately know the benefits of a shower beer on a hot day. It refreshes you on the inside as you get refreshed on the outside. But a steamy hot shower will turn that beer warm all too fast. Luckily, we found the Shakoolie, the original shower beer koozie. Not only will this $9.97 device keep your beer frosty, you can stick it to the wall to free up your hands. Or better yet, make it easier to have two shower beers. Like a king.
Looking for something a bit more refined? Maybe sometimes you like to soak in a tub and drink while listening to classical music. Then the Wine Glass Holder by Bath Essences may be more your speed. The double suction cups will keep this holder securely on your shower wall or tub so your glass of red will stay right in reach as you pamper yourself at the end (or the start) of a long day. Cheers!
2 Glow-in-the-Dark Nuclear Element Soap
Your normal bar soaps are boring; no wonder you want to get your shower over with. Instead, how about cleaning up with a little plutonium. Maybe uranium? Well, at least the soap version of these dangerous radioactive elements. This 3-pack of soaps are not only fun, but scientifically informative, and best of all, they glow in the dark!
They glow in three different colors: green (uranium), white (fallout shelter) and blue (plutonium), and are vegan and not tested on animals to boot. For $19.99, these ultra geeky soaps will make a great addition to your shower. Sure, they don’t actually contain any dangerous elements... but your guests don’t need to know that.
1 Towel Warmer
Okay fine. FINE. You have to eventually get out of the shower. Your pets need food, your boss has left five messages, and your water bill is through the roof. But that doesn’t mean you have to leave the warmth of the shower immediately. For the best send off from the bathroom, warm towels are the best and this Towel Warmer will keep your towels toasty at up to 120 degrees.
For $80.18, this towel warmer is large enough to hold two beach towels and comes with a transparent lid so you’re never fooled by not having warm towels waiting for you. It plugs into any standard outlet, warms up in 10 minutes, and has an auto-shutoff to save electricity. So if you have to leave the shower, you’ll be able to wrap a little bit of warm heaven around you. Until the next time.