BlueCrate has just introduced the newest product to hit their shelves – the fake man bun. Move over toupees, there’s a new boss in town. And for only $7.99.
The accessory requires just enough natural hair to make a little pigtail and then clips on to give the illusion of Jared Leto-length locks.
Other online stores are selling similar versions. Amazon has one with a whopping 2.9 stars. The description says “wear daily or trick your friends.” Trick your friends into thinking that you’re the kind of noob that would wear this daily, or trick your friends out of friendship? We’re not sure.
The accompanying picture on Amazon is of Kit Harrington from Game of Thrones sporting a man bun and a particularly sour expression on his face. Clearly, he is insulted at being associated with this product.
There are issues with the design on many levels. Primarily, the man bun is on its way OUT of the fashion world. This commodity is a little late to the draw and may have had more success two years ago.
More importantly, the designers were clearly unconcerned with appealing to a wide audience. The fake man bun comes in one shade of either blond, brown, or black because we all know how homogenous hair color is. Sorry, red-heads.
The BlueCrate website says “enjoy the new hairstyle you deserve,” which is ambiguous advertising at best. Yes, it could be saying “go get em tiger”, but given the judgment day undertones, it's more likely ordaining that “any fool who spends money on this deserves to look like a dingus.”
Targeting the insecure, a promotional video by Viral Thread claims the fake man bun will make your self-consciousness disappear and “give you a new life.” It’s clearly a ploy for the desperate — and a cruel one at that, likely instigating even more ridicule in the lives of these poor souls.
Even Groupon cannot sell this product with a straight face. Peep their hilarious details on this product “For the Man Who Wears Many Hats, but No Bun”.
Good on Groupon for brightening our day with a bit of satire, but as it turns out, according to The Sun the product is in pretty high demand and “has already been purchased by exactly 747 man bun lovers.” Our fleeting hope is that this market trend is all a part of early Halloween prep, but more likely, we are going to start seeing a surplus of hair fraud on our streets in the future.
Now, all of this trash talking aside. It is important to applaud efforts at bringing gender-neutral options into this world. Any attempt at inclusivity should be given the recognition it deserves. But the harsh truth is that no one can pull this off — men and women alike, the fake bun trend is awful.