Whether it’s Scorpio, Taurus, or Aries, everyone is aware of their birth sign, which allows them to look up their daily horoscope or try to find the “right” partner. “Hey there, what’s your sign?” was the usual go-to pickup line for guys, particularly in the 70s, but try it today, and you probably will get laughed at. Anyways, this is not a relationship article, but rather connecting WWE Superstars’ gimmicks to their most appropriate astrological sign.
For those of you who don’t follow astrology, a quick explanation is probably in order here to show what this article will be all about. Astrology is basically a study of celestial objects and their movement in the skies; these movements can give hints towards how people may act in various situations and potential moments that can arise in their lives, both good and bad.
This type of study can get extremely in-depth, but for the purpose of this article, we will keep it simple and use the most common traits for each sign. We will then pair them with the wrestler who is most closely linked to them via their gimmicks, not by their actual birthday or real life personality. So, let’s look to the skies and see which twelve WWE wrestlers appear!
12. Aquarius – Goldust
For simplicity sake, we’ll go through each sign as they lineup on the calendar, starting with Aquarius, who is typically known as an androgynous looking character. People with this sign can be viewed as a weirdo or even an alien, not just strange acting, but an actual outer space alien.
During the early days of Goldust, he would often rock outfits that would toe the line between male and female, with his jumpsuits, makeup, and long haired wigs. He’s always been one of the stranger gimmicks where most other wrestlers have treated him like he’s from another planet, so the connection between these two is pretty clear. Initially, Stardust was in this spot, but he was recently sent back to the Stars of the Milky Way.
11. Pisces – The Wyatt Family
Next up is Pisces, which is a sign that tends to float around, they don’t have much of a direction, but that doesn’t necessarily bother them when it comes to day to day life. These types of people typically disappear on others, it’s very common for them to come and go without much explanation to those around them.
The Wyatt Family has made a living on literally showing up out of nowhere, laying a massive beat down on another wrestler, and then disappearing into the dark. In terms of how they’ve been booked, it’s been pretty directionless. Even though they are a stable that could be a major force in the WWE, between injuries and creative just not knowing what to do with them, they always remaining in this weird limbo status on the card.
10. Aries – Randy Orton
Among the connections on this list, this one is probably the most appropriate, as Aries tends to look like a Spartan, with eyes that could burn a hole in others. These people are almost always “ready for war” and pretty much do what they want, when they want, without over-thinking things.
Randy Orton hits a home run with this one as he actually looks like the typical Aries. He also has a “tweener” gimmick, where he goes after anyone that gets in his way. Orton and his “out of nowhere” RKO is just his way of doing what he wants the second it hits his mind.
9. Taurus – Big Show
The unwavering Taurus tends to love his surroundings, and doesn’t prefer change unless it’s completely necessary. They also love to move at their own pace, which most of the time is very slow, as they are usually friendly giants. Even if you want them to do something in a hurry, it’s not going to happen, because they are a stubborn bunch.
Well, Big Show seems like a good fit for this spot, when he feels like being in a good mode; he’s a very friendly giant that is probably one of the slowest moving wrestlers currently in WWE. When it comes to size, obviously Big Show fits the bill and his inability to retire (or change) from wrestling is just one more reason he’s the perfect Taurus.
8. Gemini – The Usos
The biggest thing about Gemini symbolism is the twins, and in the WWE that’s a pretty obvious choice with the Bella Twins, but this article is focusing on the guys. Gemini traits also include being annoying towards others and they also do a lot of talking.
Since the Bellas are out of the equation, we’ll go with The Usos, who aren’t technically twins; they sure look alike, which can be annoying for commentators trying to call the action. While Jimmy and Jey don’t get a ton of promo time, when they do, they say a lot (with plenty of laughs and smiling), usually annoying fans in the process.
7. Cancer – John Cena
Here are a bunch of traits for Cancer; hometown boy, loyal to the family/establishment, suck up, and softie. Putting a Cancer in the context of the wrestling world, they would be considered a super face, or a really good guy.
Now, who in the world could be considered with all of those things mentioned above? It has to be the guy who’s been the face of the WWE for over a decade: John Cena. His home has always been with the WWE, promoting the hell out of it ever since he was given top billing. As one of the most extreme good guys, Cena’s gimmick has always come off a bit on the soft side, thus making him an appropriate Cancer.
6. Leo – The Miz
Leo people usually are on the flashier side, wearing clothes or accessories that make them stand out from the crowd, a natural tendency to want to be known and even really famous. Who better fits that description, than The Miz? Even before wrestling, when he was on MTV’s Real World, he would walk around and do his wrestling gimmick, trying to stand out from the group.
Once he got his WWE career going, he’s been able to transition to movies, attaining even more fame through these ventures. With his incredibly flashy outfits and blondish hair (which Leos typically are) Miz fits nicely into the mold.
5. Virgo – Cesaro
This was one of the trickier signs to match up as Virgos are classically on the shier side, they aren’t really as “in your face” as compared to the other signs. They look for perfection and are very technical and detail oriented in their pursuit of that perfection.
Well, before Cesaro was on his 007 game, he was considered one of the more toned down WWE gimmicks. As most fans know, he’s a stickler for having amazing matches and has always worked on every detail when it comes to his ring work. A technician in the squared circle, you would be hard pressed to find anyone else who is more consistently amazing, every single night.
4. Libra – Fandango
This one was almost too easy as Libra is the sign of music and dance, they usually are considered good looking individuals, and are almost always in a relationship. That all sure sounds a lot like Fandango, he has always been a character that loves dancing his way to the ring.
He’s had a number of dance partners (relationships) including Summer Rae (who was awesome), Layla (who was less awesome), Rosa Mendes (who was awful), and there was also that first professional dancer that just went missing after a few shows. Now, he’s showing off his beauty alongside Tyler Breeze, as they work their way up the tag team ladder.
3. Scorpio – Brock Lesnar
If you know any Scorpios, the one thing you should know is if you cross them, they will end you. If you decide to cheat or betray them, they will get you back, maybe not today or tomorrow, but when the moment is just right, they will finish you.
Brock Lesnar is that Scorpio who if taunted, bothered, or stopped, he will bring destruction to any person (or car) who stands in his way. He’s known as “The Beast” for a reason and has taken down even the toughest of opponents in The Undertaker and Cena. Treat Brock with respect and you’ll get it back, anything less, and you better move to another universe.
2. Sagittarius – New Day
Known as the party sign, most Sagittarius people are seen as funny or jesters that will say things, just to say things. Even though they might be just playing around, others can see them as sometimes rude with their antics, but ultimately, they are just looking to have a good time.
Unless you’ve been living under a stone, this describes pretty much the past year of what the New Day has given to the WWE Universe. Constantly joking around and bringing the “Power of Positivity,” Big E, Kofi, and Xavier have been able to ascend to the top of the WWE. Thanks to their total randomness and tomfoolery, they have become not only one of the most popular acts, but merchandise sellers, as well.
1. Capricorn – Triple H
Finally, we have Capricorn, people with this sign usually care heavily about their status in life and being an executive is usually one of their biggest desires. To be able to tell others that they are “successful” is something they look forward to and don’t mind climbing the ladder to reach that higher level.
Over the past decade, Triple H has risen from “degenerate” to one of the corporate WWE brass, thanks in part to marrying Stephanie McMahon, a ladder climb unlike any other. Wearing suits all the time and being one of the leaders of The Authority, Triple H is a Capricorn to the fullest these days and unlike the skies, that doesn’t look to be changing, anytime soon.
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