Most sports fans know that athletes are not always the brightest bulbs in the package. And the same goes for commentators, general managers, coaches, or anyone involved with the games. Now, there are plenty of athletes that are very intelligent, but there are also plenty of the opposite. Those guys can keep us laughing for hours with one single interview. Here we will look back at the 20 dumbest quotes ever from the sporting world.
20. “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father” – Greg Norman
Australian pro golfing legend Greg Norman once tried to give his parents credit for the things that he has been able to accomplish. But it came out like this: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”
19. “Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win” – Doug Collins
Former Philadelphia 76ers head coach Doug Collins was asked what he thought about an upcoming match up with the Detroit Pistons. He said “Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.” Almost??
18. “I never smoked any astroturf” – Tug McGraw
Tug McGraw was a great relief pitcher in the major leagues for many years. The highlight of his career came in 1980 when he struck out Willie Wilson of the Kansas City Royals to clinch the World Series Championship for the Philadelphia Phillies. One time he was asked if he preferred grass or astroturf. He responded “I dunno. I never smoked any astroturf.”
17. “My career was sputtering until I did a 360 and got headed in the right direction” – Tracy McGrady
When Tracy McGrady signed with the Orlando Magic in 2000 he told reporters about how he turned his career around. “My career was sputtering until I did a 360 and got headed in the right direction.” Oh, so that’s how he did it.
16. “The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball…” – Chuck Lamar
Chuck Lamar was the general manager for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in the franchise’s early days. The team was bad and they refused to spend money on top free agents. Kind of like they still do now, although they win a little more now than they did back then. Lamar was kind enough to explain to reporters one day on the reason the Devils Rays weren’t considered one of the top teams in the league. “The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league level.” Oh, ok, got it! Thanks, Chuck!
15. “Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10” – Dennis Rodman
Dennis Rodman was good enough to be a part of five NBA championship teams. After a normal start to his career he became a charismatic person to say the least. And when he spoke it was even better. Once asked about team chemistry, Rodman responded with “Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.” Sadly enough, this might be one of his smarter comments.
14. “I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt” – Chuck Nevitt
Chuck Nevitt is a former center from the NBA that stood 7 foot 5. The thinner air at the high elevation clearly got the best of him when he talked about his sister’s pregnancy one time. He said “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.” Oh really?
13. “Yankee pitchers have had great success this year against Cabrera when they get him out” – Tim McCarver
Tim McCarver was a tremendous catcher during his time in the major leagues. Unfortunately for the world, when he retired from the game, he went into broadcasting. Saying that McCarver is horrible in the broadcast booth is an understatement. But he is always good to say something stupid to make having to listen to him worthwhile. One time he talked about how the New York Yankee pitchers have success against All Star Miguel Cabrera. He said “Yankee pitchers have had great success this year against Cabrera when they get him out.” Umm, no kidding, Tim!
12. “I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player” – John Kruk
John Kruk was a longtime first baseman in the major leagues with the Philadelphia Phillies and a couple of other teams. When he retired he went into broadcasting and has enlightened the world with several comments like this one, which he made during his playing days. “I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player.” Anyone that saw him play would agree with him 100%.
11. “…then I realized that I had no character” – Charles Barkley
Charles Barkley has never been one to be at a loss for words. Anyone that is ever looking for some kind of quote would always hang around him because everyone knew it was only a matter of time. But he hit the nail right on the head when he was talking about an issue with a woman and said “My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.”
10. “When it’s raining the field gets wet, then all of a sudden everyone’s running slower” – John Madden
John Madden was a great NFL head coach. But when he moved into the broadcast booth something happened. That great mind started talking without thinking. He has said so many ridiculous things over the years that an entire article could be done on him alone. He makes this list a few times because some of them were the best ever. Like the time that he was describing what happens to football players when it rains. He said “When it’s raining the field gets wet, then all of a sudden everyone’s running slower.” Thanks for that incredible insight into the game, John!
9. “I’m traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85” -Chad Johnson
Chad Johnson, or Ocho Cinco, whatever you want to call him, had his time as one of the top wide receivers in the NFL. He used to refer to himself in the third person a lot, or sometimes simply as #85 (his uniform number). But one time while bragging about his skills, he showed signs of one too many hard hits. He said “I’m traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85.”
8. “I want to eat your children” – Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson said and did a lot of dumb things during his career. He was never a bad place to go for a good quote. But this one is his best ever. When describing himself for an upcoming match Tyson once said “I am the most ruthless, brutal champion ever. There is no one who can match me. I want your heart. I want to eat your children.” Evander Holyfield can vouch for the fact that Tyson wasn’t joking.
7. “Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field” – John Madden
John Madden strikes again when he described why offensive linemen are the biggest players on the football field. He said “Hey, the offensive linemen are the biggest guys on the field, they’re bigger than everybody else, and that’s what makes them the biggest guys on the field.”
6. “He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.” – Torrin Polk
Former University of Houston Cougars wide receiver, Torrin Polk, was once asked about what he thought about how his head coach treated the team. He replied with “He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.” Is that so?
5. “when he runs, he moves faster” – John Madden
John Madden makes the list once again with this classic. He described what happens to a player when they run. “Here’s a guy that when he runs, he moves faster.” So now we know. Thanks again John!
4. “You know it’s going to hell when…” – Charles Barkley
Charles Barkley once described the state of the world with this unforgettable classic. “You know it’s going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black.” At the time it was a true statement that brought laughter to anyone that heard it.
3. “I just don’t get along with some of the guys on the team” – Terrell Owens
Terrell Owens was another top wide receiver during his time in the NFL. He, like Chad Johnson, had ego issues that didn’t always sit well with others. While talking with a reporter one time, Owens corrected him about how he got along with others on his team. He said “Don’t say I don’t get along with my teammates. I just don’t get along with some of the guys on the team.” Thanks for clearing that up for us, Terrell!
2. “We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do” – Charles Barkley
Charles Barkley was once talking about how the NBA players could play games without referees. He said that they weren’t needed. The direct quote was “We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.” We sure do appreciate it Charles!
1. “[He] usually likes to soak his balls before a rainy game” – John Madden
John Madden tops the list with the all-time dumbest and probably funniest thing ever said in sports. Madden was talking about the pre-game ritual of quarterback Mark Brunell on game days that it was raining. Of course he was talking about how Brunell prepared the footballs for the game, but it came out on TV like this: “Mark Brunell usually likes to soak his balls before a rainy game.” Thanks, John. I’m sure Brunell appreciated you sharing his secret with the world!
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