Something wholly terrible happens to most poor people when they go from being poor most of their lives to be grossly rich: they buy stupid things. No one has any idea why this is. It is like there is some secret society of rich people who are trying to outdo one another with stupid purchases. We all know MC Hammer loved encasing things in gold for no reason (which is one of the 172 elements that led to him losing $150 million dollars) and we all know Nicolas Cage was out buying dinosaur skulls and pet sharks, which is why he has been in 200 movies and now has seven dollars to his name.
But what is the draw in that for people? To be openly mocked later in articles by a third party? If such is the case, we are inherently grateful for rich people who spend money so stupidly, as it gives us something to talk about. It needs to be known, there is an inherent sadness in this decadence as well. First off, that sadness comes from the fact that most of the people reading this will not make, in the entirety of their lives, what the following people blew at one time. The second sad aspect, though, is that many of these athletes will be broke at the end of their lives and are blissfully unaware of that at times of said purchases. It could be said with better financial advisers in their lives, this list would not even exist.
That having been said, here are ten immensely stupid purchases made by athletes for no discernible reason other than bad taste or gaudiness, purchases they will (or inevitably already do) take great shame in.
Except number 8. Number 8 is kind of boss.
10 Eddy Curry - $1,000 a Month Cable Bill
This one starts the list off more like an honorable mention, because it just makes so little sense. While the thousand a month is just chump change to most basketball players, one has to ask: how the hell does one accumulate a monthly cable bill of one thousand dollars?
9 Chad Johnson - Semi-Truck worth $100,000.00
8 Danny Granger - Bat-Cave
Honestly, this one would place higher on the list if it wasn't so AWESOME. Granted, in fifteen years time, he may see the error of his ways, but right now, there is hardly a bad thing you can say about this.
7 Shaquille O'Neal - Superman Obsession Estimated in the Millions
In this case, we go from Batman to Superman (which is fitting as the two will be kicking each other's asses on-screen next year). It is very well known that Shaquille O' Neal likes to put the Superman "S" on everything he owns. While this move may sound simple, it isn't. It means having every single thing (from cars to gates of his home to doors to fancy Persian rugs) customized. Just his Superman bed is rumored to be in the ballpark of $20,000. For a bed. With an S on it. Let that one soak in for a second.
6 Sam Hurd - Drug Collection of $700,000.00
So you are playing professional football, but maybe it's not quite going the way you want it to. Maybe everyone around you is taking off and you are still feeling inadequate. So what do you do? Apparently, you buy almost a million dollars worth of drugs from an undercover cop, that's what you do!
5 John Daly - $1.65 Million in Gambling
Golfer John Daly has some issues. Drinking, eating, smoking, but the one that has done the most damage to him has easily been his addiction to gambling. Though the man will openly admit to losing millions across his lifetime, he can also claim to have almost lost $2 million dollars in ONE NIGHT playing slots.
4 Floyd Mayweather - Everything He Buys
Floyd Mayweather wants you to know he has money - he wants you to know he has a lot of money and has no inclination in saving or hoarding any of that money. So what does Floyd Mayweather do? Take one look at his Instagram and see for yourself. The man essentially wipes his butt with hundred dollars bills because he can.
3 Mike Tyson - $2 Million Bath Tub from Beyond
While this would have been a perfect chance to talk about Mike Tyson's Bengal tigers, that was kind of badass. You should never own exotic pets and blah blah blah. But come on, Mike Tyson was a beast in his prime, and the fact that he played with wild beasts is not that shocking to anyone. Even massive tigers know not to f*** with Mike Tyson.
2 Scottie Pippen - $ 3.4 Million Private Jet
Yes, we know owning a private jet is kind of cool. But allow us to ask: once you are done flying around playing basketball and being famous and stuff, do you understand how much the upkeep in a five star private jet is? Take a moment to think about basic upkeep of a REALLY nice car (insurance, fixing, cleaning, etc) and multiply that by about a thousand, and you have a basic idea.
1 Marquis Daniels - Self Portrait Bling Pendant
Some things are just not okay. For anyone. Ever. One of those things is buying a pendant full of bling that is fashioned after your own head. Yes, Marquis Daniels has a necklace, from which dangles a smaller, diamond encrusted version of his head. That is stupidception.
Having an (ugly as hell) diamond trap chain of your own face makes buying two white lions and a gold tub look like the smartest financial decisions ever. That is like the fine print curse a genie would put on a wish.
"I WANT TO BE COVERED IN DIAMONDS!" Then the genie just throws you this stupid pendant that kind of looks like a deformed version of your regular face and then just bounces. And that is why you can't trust genies. That is what this article was about, right?
Sources: bleacherreport.com, complex.com, businessinsider.com
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