Each year millions of men and women will flock to the outdoors to enjoy the sun and a nice round of golf. Despite many people calling golf “relaxing”, it is in fact one of the hardest sports in the world to play.
Think about it; teeing off with an oversized driver, having to move the ball over 300 yards away, and sinking a putt into a 4.25 inch diameter cup. Somehow all this is supposed to be relaxing and played at a leisurely pace.
According to the National Golf Foundation, over 29 million Americans identify themselves as golfers. Of these, over 75% are men, with the average age being 46 years old. Whether you are older or younger than the average, if you’ve played golf you know how difficult it can be and how easy it is to let your mouth get away from you.
In case you are one of the few that haven’t golfed but plan on trying very soon, here are 20 sayings you are most likely to hear this summer while out on the course.
“It’s beautiful out, let’s take the afternoon off to hit the links”
It always starts with an idea. The nice weather usually gets the wheels turning and many workers often find themselves yearning to be outside playing a round of golf. So, what’s the logical thing to do? Call up a buddy of course!
“I get nervous teeing off on the first hole; can we start on the back nine?”
There’s always the first hole jitters. Let’s face it, you’re not Tiger Woods, so there’s no shame in having a rough first hole. There’s the thrill of being outdoors, the anxiety of finally teeing off, and then there’s the spectators; the people in the pro shop, golfers behind you, and the golfers walking up from the parking lot.
“First hole is just a warm up…right?”
Once you’ve hit your first tee shot, you can usually tell how the day will be. Unfortunately for most of us, the first hole is more times than not the roughest. Unless you went to the range first, there is a very good chance you sliced your tee shot.
“How far out are we?”
If you’re just a regular Joe, you will probably have a tough time gauging the distance on some of your shots, which is fine. There are markers throughout the course on each hole that will tell you the distance to the pin. When you can’t find the markers though, you will always second guess your club selection if you don’t know how well you can hit your irons.
“I think I’ll play it safe.”
There’s always that one buddy who never pushes the envelope. He wants to play it safe and hit around the water, rather than attempting to hit it over. This golfer is probably better off in the long run if you were keeping score, but where’s the fun in that?
“I’m going for it”
If you know a friend that plays conservatively all the time, you probably know a guy or two that will say YOLO at any opportunity. These are the guys that are usually the first ones looking for the beer cart and have a lot of faith in how far they can hit the ball.
“How many mulligans do we get?”
You’re always going to want to redo a shot, plain and simple. When you’re playing with your buddies it’s alright to ask for a mulligan, unless there is money or beer at stake. In that case, I guess you’re outta luck.
“On the fringe? Yea, I’ll put it in”
Once you’ve made it to the green there is a huge wave of relief that comes over you. That is, until you realize you’re not REALLY on the green. Chipping is hard, especially for beginners. Thankfully, by the time you step onto a golf course you’ve had experience at putt-putt. So with that, stick to “when in doubt, putt it out!”
“Does your girlfriend play too?!”
Nobody likes for their putt to come up short. It’s a part of the game but that still doesn’t mean your friends won’t laugh and make jokes at you. This is the oldest one in the book, right up next to responding with “the last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur.” Fellas please, keep your Dad jokes at home.
“How does that not break?!”
There are some greens that are just downright nasty and you can never get a good read on the putt. You just spent the last two minutes looking at the line from all different angles, thinking you finally have a grasp on the putt; only to find that you were completely wrong and there was in fact zero break in your shot.
“Yeah, I found it”
We’ve all played with that guy. You know, the one that rips a shot off into the trees and can’t find the ball, only to suddenly reappear with the ball just inches off from the fairway. It’s funny how that happens sometimes, isn’t it?
“That was just a practice swing”
If you thought leaving a putt short was bad, you’ve never felt the pain of a complete whiff on a swing then. For those of us who don’t play too often, it’s become a staple of our game. The heat from the sun and the pressure on hitting the shot finally overtake you as you swing and miss. It looked like a great shot, you just couldn’t get it to make contact.
“Get down! get down!..Splash”
You’ve read your next shot, chose the right club, made contact with the ball, and now it’s soaring through the air. Although, the more you look at it, the more it looks like it is headed right for the water. There really isn’t another shot during golf that will upset you as much as when you finally get a good swing in and the next sound you hear is SPLASH.
“Dude, can I bum a tee”
Tees break, it’s a part of the game. What’s not part of the game however, is planning to bring enough tees for you and your friend. Golf is a gentleman’s game though, so make sure to remind him of your good deed on the course so you will be rewarded with at least one adult beverage back at the clubhouse.
“Boy, it sure is windy today”
One of the easiest cop outs to hitting poorly for the day is blaming the weather. You can’t really blame the sun, so it’s clear out on the course the next scapegoat is the wind. While the wind will affect your ball if it is blowing hard enough, nobody wants to play with a guy that doesn’t own up to playing poorly.
“Great shot, wrong hole though”
You had a heck of a tee shot and sent the ball soaring through the air…but it landed on the wrong fairway. It’s OK, most people that are on the course will understand the situation. Just be sure that you apologize to anybody if you were in the way and please, do not try to hit the ball back to the right hole.
“Where’s the beer cart at?”
You’re only 7 holes in but you can’t wait to get a beer. Thankfully, the beer cart girl comes around every other hole and offers up some deliciously overpriced adult refreshments. If you do buy from the beer cart, please make sure to tip the driver, it’s tough work driving around all day listening to sob stories!
“Can we play through?”
Whether you get caught behind a couple of slow pokes or you are the slow pokes on the course, there’s a good chance you will encounter someone wanting to play through. It is golf etiquette to let them go ahead and play through if you feel that you are being rushed.
If you made it all the way to the 16th hole and didn’t have to yell fore yet, congratulations! You’re probably going to be tired by the time you reach the final holes, so don’t feel ashamed if you have to let out a big yell to warn your fellow golfers of a barreling shot right at them.
“God, I hate golf!”
Golf is arguably one of the toughest sports to play. Not only does it require physical skill, but you have to be mentally tough as well. Thankfully, every golfer has started out as a beginner so don’t feel bad if you just spent all day on the course and are feeling down on yourself. For as tough as it is, golf is also pretty addicting, so remember, any day on the course is better than one in an office.
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