Watching adult movies often leads to addiction. The “fun” you feel pulls the dopamine trigger in your brain, a naturally-occurring chemical responsible for habit-forming behavior. It probably comes as no surprise that around 70% of young men in the USA and 20% of women watch some type of adult fun every week. But according to the same report (by internet accountability firm Covenant Eyes), this level of feasting is leading to serious social dysfunction; 56% of divorce cases involve one party having “an obsessive interest in websites.”
Then there’s the fact that a lot of adult entertainment is seen as real life. A lot of watchers assume the stars of the shows really are the insatiable sex-maniacs they portray. Sure, their yelling and screaming at each other looks pretty authentic, but don’t be fooled. They’re still actors at the end of the day! And whatever you do, don’t compare what you see on a DVD to what you have in your life. One male star was once asked, “How do I have sex like an adult player?” to which he replied, “Simple….don’t.”
It’s tempting to think that the industry is a place of heavenly pursuits involving as much whipped cream as you like. But read our top 15 dark confessions, and you may just find it a little less appealing than before.
15. Tamra Toryn – Like “Animals Being Auctioned Off”
Tamra Toryn left the industry in 2012. Her first film in 2006 called “Strap-on Boot Camp” was the start of six years of unhappiness for the young Californian. Shortly after starting, she was diagnosed with HPV (human papillomavirus), which is a highly infectious disease mostly affecting the genital area. The disease can even lead to cervical cancer. Right at the same time, Toryn found out she was pregnant.
“I had only one choice,” she said back in 2013, “which was to abort the baby during my first month. It was extremely painful emotionally and physically. When it was all over, I cried my eyes out.” In an emotional vlog on Tumblr in the same year, she said the man she was dating who had already worked in the industry had forced her to take part in a film but had then begun abusing her physically. Toryn also likened the treatment of women behind the scenes of adult films as “animals being auctioned off.”
14. Roxy – Only 17% of Performers Use Condoms
Also known as Shelley Lubben, Roxy had a relatively short career in the other industry, which lasted just one year. She was 24 years old when she began, and during that time, she performed in 15 hardcore movies, including “Used and Abused 2.” Before joining the industry, the Californian worked as a prostitute. During her time as an adult movie actress, she battled with drug and alcohol addiction.
Through her brief but sordid encounters with her co-stars, Lubben contracted herpes and HPV, which led to cervical cancer. In 2009, Lubben was quoted in the National Post as saying, “The sex acts that women perform on film sets are physically harmful… and psychologically traumatizing.” She recalls arriving on set to be told that if she had her AIDS test, she’d be safe. According to a recent report, only 17% of performers use condoms in heterosexual adult films.
13. Jessie Rogers – Feeling Imprisoned…
Now an outspoken activist, Jessie Rogers began acting when she was 18. Her career lasted only a year and a half, but her experiences had a profound effect on her physically and psychologically. Although she went through some painful experiences at the start, she was told that what she was feeling was normal, and so she persisted. After all, the money was exceptionally good.
Having quickly contracted bacterial vaginosis, urinary tract infections, yeast infections, and colds, Rogers realized the industry was not everything it was promoted as being. What swung it for her and allowed her the courage to leave was noticing how desperately unhappy those involved in the business were. Ironically, it was seeing their misery at their imprisonment that allowed her to walk away reasonably unscathed.
12. Sierra Sinn – Actresses Don’t Know What They’re Getting Into
Between 2005 and 2011, Sierra Sinn (pictured on the right) appeared in 123 films. Born as Julie A. Ramer in 1982, she left the adult industry in 2007 to begin a new life. In an interview a year later with lukeford.net, she said she was doing what she needed to be doing to take care of herself and her family. She’s also adamant she’ll never go back to adult movies and recalls how being involved in their production made her feel like a “wh—.”
She recalls her first scene as one of the worst experiences of her life: “It was very scary. It was a very rough scene. My agent didn’t let me know ahead of time… I did it, and I was crying, and they didn’t stop. It was really violent. He was hitting me. It hurt. It scared me more than anything. They wouldn’t stop. They just kept rolling.” Sinn also recalls how drugs were the mainstay of her fellow actors’ lives. In 2004, Dr. Mary Anne Layden reported before a Senate subcommittee: “Once [the actresses] are in the industry, they have high rates of substance abuse, typically alcohol and cocaine.”
11. Jennie Ketcham – The Young Are Targeted
Now an American writer and television personality, Jennie Ketcham joined the adult scene back in 2002 aged 18. By the time of her departure in 2009, she had starred in over 200 adult features. In 2009, she attended a rehab clinic and was treated for sex addiction. Although believing she could use her visit as a way to self-promote her own career, she soon had a change of heart and realized she had issues that desperately required treatment.
Although she claimed a glamour actress could make in the region of $15,000 a month, Ketcham realized the industry was not for her. In a BuzzFeed interview back in 2012, she said, “I’d been using people and drugs and the industry as a means of numbing myself.” And it was for this reason that Ketcham eventually made the decision to rid herself of her addictions to sex and drugs and make a new life for herself.
10. Vanessa Belmond – Coercion?
At 18 years old, Vanessa Belmond began her seven-year stint in adult entertainment. During this time, she performed in over twenty films. In 2013, she left, citing the terrors she and others faced behind the cameras of some of the world’s biggest glamour film producers. What’s more, since leaving, she’s spoken out against the industry as a whole and has campaigned alongside some anti-industry charities. She now writes about the harms of the sex trade and its prevalent sexual violence.
Known by her stage name, Alexa Cruz, Belmond told The Christian Post in 2013 that she was coerced into performing acts with multiple men soon after her arrival on set. After her first shoot, she caught chlamydia, which ended up being a recurring disease for several years. She also became prone to bacterial infections. She also explained that she would frequently receive internal injuries but was just given strong painkillers in order to keep going.
9. Elizabeth Rollings – Bodily Fluids
Elizabeth Rollings’ first taste of adult movies came with her starring role in a film shot in a seedy apartment in Las Vegas, USA. Like many women who entered the industry, she was down on her luck with a child to support and no other half. With such financial pressures, it’s little wonder she went through with the movie. She hated every minute of it, but as the months went by, she knew a repeat performance was the only way to make some quick money.
In an interview with The Pink Cross, a support network helping adult workers, Rollings remembers some of her career lows: “I didn’t want to feel the pain of penetration from an over-average-sized man. Being told to freeze in a position until the cameraman was happy with his shots was very painful. I had people’s body fluids —————- or anywhere else the producer pleased, and I had to accept it, or else, no pay.”
8. Jersey Jaxin – The Prevalence Of STDs
Having made over 200 movies in her three-year career, Tanya Burleson (AKA Jaxin) saw the gritty underbelly of the industry. In an interview for babypinkroses.blogspot, she said, “I don’t believe I worked with one person who didn’t at one time have an STD.” But it wasn’t just the prevalence of STDs within the unregulated industry that made Burleson realize she had taken a wrong turn — she was subjected to physical abuse, too.
“Guys are punching you in the face. You get ripped. Your insides can come out of you. It’s never ending. You’re viewed as an object — not as a human with a spirit. People do drugs because they can’t deal with the way they’re being treated.” What’s more, while Burleson’s stories of her time in the industry appear graphic, she’s not alone in her testimony. It was all around her and not being stopped.
7. Michelle Avanti – Empty Pay Promises
Madelyne (AKA Michelle Avanti) was born in 1980 and survived a troublesome childhood. Her father was addicted to alcohol and drugs, and shortly after she was born, Avanti’s parents divorced. Recalling her middle school years, she said, “I never felt accepted. I started exploring alcohol, drugs, and sex until one day I got raped by a friend of mine and it wasn’t going to be last time.”
After leaving school, she found herself with no job but meeting various characters at parties that were connected with the industry. One man, in particular, assured her he would have well-paid work for her. But Avanti’s promised money turned out to be nothing but a carrot on a stick, and she ended up performing her 67 films for next to nothing bar the ever present supply of drugs and alcohol.
6. Andi Anderson – It’s All a Sham
Like so many other glamour actresses, the now 31-year-old Andi Anderson fell quickly into alcohol and drugs during her six years as an adult movie actress. She has appeared in 85 films, including “Feeding Frenzy 10” and “Wet Melons.”
But all was not right with the Swedish glamour-puss who quickly discovered the life she had been promised by those who brought her into the industry was a sham. “I sadly discovered that drugs and drinking were part of the lifestyle. I began to drink and party out of control – cocaine, alcohol, and ecstasy were my favorites. Before long, I turned into a person I did not want to be.” After finally admitting her life was at an all-time low, she left the industry. However, perhaps unwisely, in 2014, Anderson announced her return to adult movies.
5. Crissy Moran – Suicide
Born in 1975, Crissy Moran started working in adult entertainment at the age of 24. Between 2001 and 2006, she starred in over 50 adult films. Of Hawaiian descent, Moran briefly worked at a Hooters restaurant in Jacksonville before several mundane and underpaid jobs led her to a career in the other industry. At the height of her career, she was making $15,000 a month.
The constant requirement for her to act in hardcore movies took its toll. Moran became suicidal. “I tried to overdose on Xanax, strangle myself, and cut my wrists,” she told answering-questioning.blogspot.co.uk in 2009. “But I was too scared of the pain. I prayed God would just take me away!” Moran now travels internationally and domestically, lecturing on the realities of the industry. She has also made some progress into mainstream film.
4. Becca Brat – Physical Abuse
Becca Brat (real name Karly) started stripping at the age of 18 and soon entered the live-action industry. In 2001, she began to make a name for herself as a star of smut and made over 200 movies. Having landed herself in that world and being reliant on the income, she also became a prostitute and was already dabbling here and there with drugs within nine months of her first shoot.
Throughout her five years, she had, in her own words, been “hospitalized many times from being physically abused by men, put into rehab at least 4 times, and even put into the LA County General Hospital by the police for a mandatory psychiatric hold.” Surrounded by the actors, producers, and directors of the industry, there was very little option to leave. But leave she did, in the end, escaping the horrors of her time in the industry and returning to her family home.
3. Erin Moore – Treatment of Women
In an interview with website Luke Is Back, Erin Moore revealed, “I left the industry because my contract ended, and I moved to finish college. I think words were twisted and made things look a lot worse than what was actually said. I wasn’t ‘saved’. It was a decision I made on my own and needed some time to do other things in life.” Born in 1983, Moore starred in 60 films between 2004 and 2012.
She admits that during her time in adult entertainment, she was hooked on drugs: “The drugs we binged on were Ecstasy, Cocaine, Marijuana, Xanax, Valium, Vicodin, and alcohol.” However, she has a sanguine outlook on her time in adult entertainment: “I own up to my mistakes, and no one is going to get me to do things like be punched in the face or spit on or anything else. It’s 100% about the respect you demand.”
2. Neesa – Diseases
Marianna Luft (AKA Neesa) worked 10 years in the industry. Now 40 years old, she earned herself eight acting credits in such films as “Tag Team Tryouts” and “MILF Soup” during her tenure as one of the industry’s hottest babes. She now works as an independent anti-trade activist and life coach and campaigns tirelessly for anti-industry charities.
Once involved in live-action films, things quickly went downhill. According to a recent online biography, Luft was raped and physically degraded by Max Hardcore (Paul Little). She then contracted gonorrhea, chlamydia, and vaginitis.
1. Darren James – The Lack of Proper Education
Another keen activist is 53-year-old Darren James. He’s an outspoken critic of the industry, having retired in 2006. During his eight years as an adult entertainment actor, he appeared in over 200 films, including “International Exotics” and “Latin Booty Talk.” He was thrown out of the industry in 2004 after having contracted HIV, a discovery which led to the temporary cessation of adult movie production in the States.
Darren also contracted various STDs, and he transmitted them to other performers; some say this was merely the result of his not being properly educated on the facts of life. After being dropped from the industry and announcing his illness to his family, he became suicidal and tried to end his life. He is now an HIV counselor and educator as well as public speaker and regularly campaigns alongside AIDS Healthcare Foundation to tackle the industry’s disregard for health and safety and performers’ welfare.
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