The human body is a finely tuned, well-oiled machine that can heal itself, take a tumble, scrap the skin with a minor cut, and eventually, your skin will heal up as good as new. When you get a cold or a fever, after several days of runny noses, sore throats and the shivers, the body will send the white blood cells out to do the work. Like the bacterial bounty hunters that they are, white blood cells soon seek out the pesky viruses that are keeping us huddled and sneezing in bed, seek them out and destroy them ruthlessly, making all better again.
However, nature is an unforgiving place; there are often many things out to get, or eat you if you are in the wild! All manner of foul creatures lurk amid the depths of nature, take a skinny dip in the ocean, and something may well find a nice new home up where the sun does not shine! Parasites are potentially everywhere in nature and can grow to quite shocking and not to mention disgusting sizes! Then there are mishaps people often get themselves in a while competing in sports or leisure activities, where something goes wrong, and an object becomes lodged somewhere in a hole that’s unholy! Alternatively, sometimes, a person can enjoy giving themselves too much pleasure with a toy and go a tad too deep with that aide that removing it requires surgery. Here follows a list of some of the most horrid things removed from people’s bodies. Read, if you dare!
20. A Bomb
No, this is not extreme flatulence, but an actual explosive device! Private Channing Moss ended up on the raw end of an explosive when he toured Afghanistan. While in the Paktika Province of the war-torn country when his convoy came under enemy fire, killing two of his comrades. Moss said: “I smelled something and looked down and I was smoking!” The soldier had a rocket launched grenade lodged in his stomach, an explosive that would have destroyed everything in a 30-foot radius had it detonated. Private Moss was quickly moved by helicopter to the nearest field hospital and had the grenade removed, where it was later detonated in a controlled explosion nearby in the camp. Channing Moss got awarded the Purple Heart for his ordeal, as well as a Medal of Valor.
19. Man Gets “Blown Up” By Air Pressure Hose
Just like people need air to live, we also need to make sure it is going to the right place. If a person ingests too much air going in the wrong way then that too can be fatal, so, better not get a running hosepipe lodged somewhere uncomfortable then! This unfortunate mishap befell New Zealand man Steve McCormack, a truck driver who got something stuck “Down Under”. After slipping off his rig, McCormack fell onto a high-pressure air hose, blowing him up to double his size, as air rushed into him at 100 pounds per square inch! Co-workers turned off the hose, but couldn’t remove it, nor could the doctors release it. McCormack’s only option was to await the air’s release the traditional way, by farting all of the air out!
18. Man Claims He “Fell” On A Potato
Potatoes remain a favorite foodstuff and form a staple of most people’s diet, the beauty of the potato is that it is a blank slate, making it a simple ingredient to cook for its pure versatility. People love the spud, baked, boiled or fried and like all food, the parts of it that are not needed by the body exit down below, though some people try and do things the opposite way, by inserting humble foods up the back way, or claim they ended up there “accidentally”. For a 50-year-old man of the cloth, cloth allegedly resulted in his accident with a potato. He eagerly insisted that he was hanging curtains in his kitchen while naked, slipped and the potato entered his anus. The odds of such a thing happening innocently must be a number bigger than the atoms in the universe. We can safely say that this man of the cloth committed a big sin, his eyes bigger than his butthole!
17. Boy Involved In Bizarre Voodoo Ritual
Sharp objects will inevitably slice into the body and cause cuts, bleed and even get embedded into people’s flesh. Everyone is familiar with the concept of a Voodoo Doll, which is a little effigy of a person that another uses to gain revenge. Sticking needles into the doll will cause the person cursed to experience stabbing pains. However, for a two-year-old Brazillian boy, he was taken to hospital where doctors discovered many needles in the boy’s body. The culprits were the boy’s stepfather and two women who inserted the needles in him as part of a bizarre ritual; the stepfather claimed the needles were blessed and was in a trance when he injured the boy. The mother believed her son was a victim of black magic and the stepfather, a 30-year-old bricklayer, got arrested.
16. Giant Hair Ball
Hair is okay existing outside the body, where it is naturally attached to our heads and other potentially smellier places. Although what happens when it caught inside the body, which is precisely what occurred when an 18-year-old woman from Chicago got admitted to hospital complaining of stomach pains, after vomiting and losing 40 pounds in weight. X-rays showed a large, dark mass inside the woman and feared that she had a massive tumor growing in her torso. It turns out doctors unearthed a huge hair ball that blocked her inner passages, a growth over a foot long and weighing more than 10 pounds. The hair ball had accumulated due to the young woman’s condition known trichophagia, a condition that causes her to eat her hair in large amounts.
15. Pure Magnetism
Products often come with the following warning attached: “keep out of the reach of children”. Because perhaps a colorful looking bottle catches their eye and a kid thinks it is a sweet juice, instead it is bleach or drain cleaner. Kids are well known to get crayons lodged in their nose or even swallow a coin or chewing gum, but for this girl, it was magnets that drew her in, not one either, but 30! When an 8-year-old girl began complaining of stomach pains, her parents took her to hospital and x-rays discovered the horde of magnets gathered in her abdomen. Worse still, the magnets were moving around inside the girl’s torso, as magnets attract one another, so they were shredding her organs. The girl’s excuse for eating the magnets was that she licked one and liked the taste, so swallowed it and 29 more! There’s no accounting for taste!
14. Fizzy Fudge
A 60-year-old man gets burgled and if that is not traumatic enough, what the burglars did to him after seemed even crueller, but it is also a good excuse too. The man arrived in hospital, and he claimed that when thieves invaded his home, they inserted a Coke bottle up his anus. One thing robbers need to do is make a quick escape and surely wasting time inserting a glass object into a man’s rectum would be somewhat time-consuming, but that was the man’s story. After all, a Coke bottle for a much cheaper sex aide, without the embarrassment of buying one at a sex shop, though glass is not particularly slippery, so once it gets jammed one way, getting it out the other way is a tad difficult. Apparently, the hospital needed to use some monstrous sucking device like a giant Hoover to liberate the bottle!
13. Man Eats Plane In 2-Year Period
Kids sometimes eat things that they should not, and there are times when an adult will swallow something by accident, through an error, or breathing in a small fly. Also, people for the purposes of entertainment will swallow swords or a torch to breathe fire, so a tradition exists where humans do not always swallow the necessities of just air, fluid and food. Therefore it is not outside the realms of impossibility (or stupidity) for people to eat things not meant for consumption, which became the career of Frenchman Michael Lotito. Lotito’s entire career revolved around eating objects that should never become acquainted with someone’s digestive system, culminating in an airplane of all things! Yes, an airplane! Granted, Mr. Lotito did not devour the aircraft in one sitting; he had the “good sense” to stagger its consumption over a two-year period between 1978-1980.
12. Old Woman Swallows Lover’s Dentures In Heated Moment
This entry may not seem so odd, swallowing teeth does happen now and then. When kids shed their baby teeth, the tooth fairy can have a delayed wait as the baby tooth journeys through the digestive system. Adults can feast on their teeth too when a person may have an accident or run into someone else’s fist, perhaps. However, what happens if a person is elderly and they have some teeth fitted to not rely on wearing their gums to a nub? Even riskier is the accidents that could happen when a senior is in the midst of the throes of passion that a couple could fail to notice anything else, even swallowing their lover’s dentures! Apparently, this was what happened when one old woman was kissing her husband and swallowed his dentures; she must have a throat like a whale to have not felt them going down!
11. Man Lives With Unborn Twin Inside Him
Now and then, cysts get removed from the body, often found with teeth and hair growing on them. Though with this man, Indian Sanju Bhagat, the growth in him was a tad more than an overgrown cyst, but an unformed sibling, talk about carrying your family! Throughout his life, Bhagat got teased about his inexplicably swollen stomach, so bloated that he appeared as though he was a pregnant man! The medical opinion put the bulge down as a benign tumor inside him, but when they decided to remove the offending swollen lump, they discovered a partially formed fetus with hair, limbs and genitalia! Sanju Bhagat experienced an infrequent situation called Fetus in Fetu, in such cases, one twin dies, and the other absorbs the fetus in their body, so when he looked like a pregnant man, it was due to the remains of his sibling inside him.
10. Surgical Equipment
We are supposed to be able to rely on doctors when medical attention is urgently required. Hospitals, nurses and surgeons see us on our way to being fighting fit once again, after we get knocked down. Although doctors are not perfect and make mistakes, no mistake could be worse for medical practitioners than leaving surgical equipment inside a patient. 57-year-old Daryoush Mazarei complained of severe pains after an operation, though doctors told him to ignore the pains. Up to two years after his initial operation to have a shunt installed to drain fluid from his brain, hospital staff insisted he imagined the pain. His daughter went so far as pointing out the sharp protrusion from her father’s body, they responded by quoting the story The Boy Who Cried Wolf! Eventually, doctors relented and gave Mazarei a CT Scan, finding a foot-long pair of tweezers in his abdomen!
9. Pregnant Woman Falls And Is Impaled By Mic Stand
The following is an example of how one day, everything is normal and a person is going about their regular daily activities until one minor slip-up can result in horrific injuries. Jessie Wickham, a musician from Michigan, 34 years old and heavily pregnant – only two weeks away from labor – was getting her two kids ready for school one morning. At that time, she experienced a dizzy spell and collapsed, falling down the stairs and through the bannisters. Wickham fell on a 3-foot mic stand, impaled on it, luckily, the stand narrowly missed her heart and unborn child. Jessie Wickham got rushed to the hospital to have the large pole removed from her torso, the extent of her injuries caused her to give birth to her child via Caesarian Section, and both mother and child came out of hospital fully recovered.
8. Wheeling Wedding
Nowadays, guys (as it usually is) seek ever more creative ways to get down on one knee and pop the question, to the extent that it may no longer involve getting down on one knee at all. Proposing on camera at a large sporting event is a little passé nowadays, one man made his proposal very originally when he believed himself moments away from death. Brian Shipwash, a native of North Carolina and keen motorcyclist, ran into complications while riding with his girlfriend on the back. Girlfriend, Shandra Miller and Brian crashed on his bike, Shandra escaping with a scraped knee. Brian, however, ended up with the motorcycle’s handlebars buried six inches into his stomach. Thinking he was about to die, Brian made the proposal, claiming to have said something along the lines of: “I know this is not the best in the world, but will you marry me?” Fortunately, Brian survived! They do say that the course of true love never runs smoothly, but surely it runs smoother than a motorbike crash?
7. Fishy Business
Earth is 70% water and humans have a pretty similar composition too. The oceans of our planet are teeming with life, and scientists believe all life originated from the vast briny depths. Humans have to pass water too, which is the polite way of saying taking a piss, so maybe now and then fishes get a little confused as to where their watery homes are? When people have a pet fish, this can somehow get even more mixed up, especially when a fish swims up the urethra and penis while someone is cleaning a fish tank… how, exactly, is anyone’s guess. Because a boy in India, while cleaning his tank had a fish swim up into his bladder – it remains a mystery how the logistics of the fish getting up there even occurred! The fish embarked on a journey so far up inside the kid that it needed to get removed surgically from the bladder.
Parasites are common among many animals; they are to animals what weeds are to plants. When the weather gets warm, furry pets can often get harassed by fleas, which then get on people, so can ticks and everyone dreads wading through a swamp, lest they encounter gross leeches. However, one of the vilest forms of parasites that people dread having inside themselves is the disgusting tapeworm. A tapeworm is a parasite that feeds off the nutrients of the food an animal ingests and enters the body via certain raw foods, raw pork is a particular risk. Tapeworms grow up to 20-feet in humans and coil around the entire small intestine, they eventually pass out of the system, but ones in elephants and whales grow to monstrous proportions, so always remember to check how safe raw food is to eat.
5. Pin Head
When someone takes a head shot, whatever the object is and that object pierces the brain, then it should be curtains. Although fate is often a whimsical thing and by sheer luck, what should be the most devastating and fatal of injuries people end up surviving. Dante Autullo accidentally shot himself in the head with a nail gun, causing a nail to become lodged in his brain. Strangely, Dante waited for 36 hours before seeking medical attention to get the nail taken out of his head, In fairness, Autullo did not realize the nail lay in his brain, but it gave him headaches and nausea and when scans revealed the 9cm metal object got discovered. Doctors deemed the fact he survived was a miracle and just how resilient the body is. Mind over matter indeed!
4. Worm In The Eye
Most people can see, and for that reason, our sight remains an incredibly precious commodity. Although during waking hours, blinking offers only a brief protection from the elements and nature. How often do people get something in their eye – when not using it as an excuse to pretend they are not crying – from sand or dust, or even the odd fly here and there. When one man from Iowa experienced hazy vision and a series of dark spots in his eye, he sought help from an ophthalmologist who found that a parasitic worm had found its way into his eye and set up camp. What was even worse the fact that not only had the pesky worm settled in the man’s eye, but it had also begun to munch on his retina. So not only had it imposed on his eye but started to eat it, talk about a rude guest!
3. Fir Tree
It is one thing to have a small pea pod stuck in a lung, although a seed pod is not the only kind of plant life that could end up within a human’s cardiovascular system. 28-year-old Russian, Artyom Sidorkin, after training in the woods with the Russian army, had intense chest pains, so visited doctors to see what was potentially causing the pain. Of course, Artyom feared the worst and believed the cause of the chest was a tumor growing in his lungs. Although further investigation “rooted” out the true cause of his agony, somehow, Sidorkin inhaled a seed, and that obviously felt that the young Russian man’s lungs was fertile ground and began growing. So when doctors realized the cause, they unearthed a 5cm long fir tree inside his lungs, let’s hope he replanted it!
2. Maggots In The Ear
Everyone hates maggots, they remind people of death and rotting, decomposing waste, along with bad smells. If this was not horrifying enough and the thought of them feasting on our corpses forms the stuff of nightmares. Although they do serve a purpose and are put to use sometimes to nibble away at gangrenous flesh that could otherwise cause the loss of limbs. The ear is a cosy, damp cavity where unfortunately if a plucky and curious insect finds its way in there, it may decide this is as good a spot as any to create a nursery and feeding spot for their young! When a man in India sought treatment for chronic ear pain, imagine his horror at discovering that hundreds of maggots were inside his ear. Not only had the carrion larvae made a home for themselves, thanks to their fly mother inside the man’s head, they were also gnawing away at the flesh inside his ear, and if left alone for any longer, the maggots could have reached the man’s brain and killed him!
1. Peas In The Lung’s Pod
Humans need to breathe in and out, taking air into our lungs is one of the essential things for not only our but every other creatures’ survival. Now and then, someone may experience the mishap of breathing in something a little more than air, maybe a little fly, a speck of dust or some sand when the wind kicks up. However, what happens if someone accidentally swallows a legume, seed pod of a vegetable? Such a thing happened to Ronan Svedan from Massachusetts whose persistent coughing caused him so much worry that he feared his cough was a symptom of a tumour. Although when he visited the hospital, x-rays revealed something very different bothering his chest, a pea plant had gotten lodged in there! It is one thing to eat vegetables, but to inhale them is quite another.
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