Adoption is an incredible yet difficult process. It’s amazing because it gives a child a chance at a happy childhood and a good start at life, which they otherwise may have never had. It also provides people the chance to become parents who may not have been able to otherwise.
But it can also be a challenging process. It can bring up a lot of mixed emotions, especially if the parents originally longed to have their own biological kids. It can also be hard for the adopted child who may have emotional trauma or feelings of not completely belonging. Yet, adoption can be made even more difficult if the parents are adopting a child of a different race.
These confessions are all from parents who adopted children with a different skin color than their own. Some parents are harboring secret resentment towards their kids, while others confessed about the judgment they face from others. What they all have in common is that they’re all equally shocking and heartbreaking. Check them out for yourself.
18. She Reminds Me I Can’t Have Kids
It’s devastating to not be able to have your own children biologically, no doubt about that. But am I the only one whose skin crawls when they read this devastating Whisper?
It’s no fault of the adopted child that her mother was unable to give birth to her own kids. It’s unfair that this mom is saying she despises her bi-racial child since she’s not biologically hers. We’re not saying the mom can’t or shouldn’t feel saddened by the circumstances. But it’s certainly no reason to hate your adopted child.
It seems like this woman should have given more thought to adoption. If an adopted child is going to be a reminder of the family you can’t have, then we’d say you’re not in a good place to be bringing a child into your family.
17. That’s Not My Son
This confession is just heartbreaking. The dad admits he wishes he and his wife had never adopted a bi-racial child. He says it was her idea, and that he just should have told her how he felt in the first place. Yeah, it’s definitely too late at this point, buddy. What’s even worse, this so-called dad went so far as to say that’s not really his son. Imagine how heartbreaking it would be for the child to hear that!
Adopting a child isn’t for every couple, especially if that child is of a different race. It’s a big decision that requires careful consideration… and for both parents to be on the same page. It sounds like this couple rushed into something that their marriage wasn’t prepared for. We doubt their union lasted given this dad’s harsh feelings towards their adopted child.
16. I Think About Abandoning Her
Someone call CPS on this parent, pronto! Abandoning your child is never okay, regardless if they have behavioral problems or you don’t feel cut out to be a parent.
This parent admits that they often think of taking their adopted child to a fire station or police station and leaving them there for someone else to take care of. Think of how damaging that would be on a child of any age, especially if they’ve spent years in the foster care system already!
Many children who’ve been adopted struggle with feelings of abandonment or not belonging and this would definitely only worsen that. Hopefully, this parent was only having a bad day and wasn’t actually thinking of getting rid of their kid simply because of their skin color.
15. It’s The Reason For Our Divorce
The stress of not being able to have your own biological children or having to go through the adoption process can be a lot for a couple. In this case, it contributed to this pair’s divorce… but probably not for the reason you’re thinking.
This wife admits that she and her hubby pulled the plug on their marriage after they couldn’t decide what race of baby to adopt. Evidently, she was pushing for an African American infant, while her husband thought adopting a kid outside of their race was a bad idea.
It’d clearly be heartbreaking to hear something like that come out of your partner’s mouth, and to learn you’re not on the same page when it comes to raising kids. Hey, at least these two figured out things weren’t going to work before they brought kids into the mix.
14. He Treats Her Like The Maid
What is wrong with some people? We would so not be okay with it if our spouse treated our adopted daughter like this. The woman behind this confession says she and her husband adopted her niece from the Philippines. But it sounds like the hubby is having a hard time treating the girl like one of their other children. The wife admits he treats her more like the maid then one of their children.
Imagine how heartbreaking and confusing it must be for this young girl to be treated in such an unfair way. It sounds like she’s a real-life Cinderella. Well, hopefully, she was one day able to get her happily ever after and escape this damaging familial situation. Or, maybe the wife got smart and realized just how cruel her husband was being to their adopted daughter.
13. I’m Not Allowed To Adopt Her
As Native communities are often self-governing and independent, it is often hard for someone who doesn’t have Indian status to adopt a child with an Aboriginal background. The law prefers to see the child raised by someone of their own ethnic background, so they won’t lose their culture.
This woman says that very law is preventing her from adopting her foster daughter, who happens to be Native American. For all intents and purposes, the woman regards the little girl as her own. But it must feel uneasy knowing she doesn’t have legal guardianship of the girl. It must also feel insecure and confusing for the child to know that her mom is legally not her real parent.
12. I Don’t Blame Her For Feeling Left Out
This parent admits that their adopted daughter feels left out because now they have biological children of their own, who are the same race as them. This is a normal thing for a child to feel in such a situation. It’s up to the parents to make the child feel included in the family and to make sure the other kids know that skin color has nothing to do with who is more a part of the family.
However, it sounds like this parent is doing everything wrong. They had the audacity to say they don’t blame their adopted child for feeling that way. What?! It almost seems like they’re saying they wouldn’t have adopted the child if they had known they’d have kids of their own in the future. While that may be true, that doesn’t change the fact that the adoption is already a done deal.
11. I Didn’t Think It Would Be This Hard
Raising a child of another race can pose unique challenges and difficulties. The child may be more prone to feeling left out, or like there’s a part of them missing. Mom and dad may struggle to find a balance between helping their child fit in and allowing them to discover their background. Even more so, the family might face judgment from outsiders because, unfortunately, not everyone is open-minded.
This parent admits they didn’t think raising a black child when they’re white would be a big deal. But it sounds like its raised problems that this parent didn’t anticipate. While challenged are inevitable, the most important thing is a how a parent addresses them. Hopefully, this mom or dad was able to overcome the obstacles in their way and didn’t regret their choice to adopt a child of a different race.
10. My Family Doesn’t Accept Her
This would be an incredibly difficult position to be in! This mother says that her family doesn’t accept her youngest child, whom she adopted, simply because she’s a different race than everyone else. She admits there’s a distinct difference in the way her loved ones treat her biological kids rather than her adopted daughter, which is pretty heartbreaking.
That must be devastating for the child to have to endure… it certainly wouldn’t help make her part of the family. And it also must be difficult for this mom to watch. However, it’s the mom’s responsibility to stick up for her child. If her family isn’t treating her kid right, then she shouldn’t subject her daughter to that. Hopefully, she did whatever was in the best interest of her children.
9. I Did It For My Husband
This sounds like quite the unique situation. This mother (who we’re assuming is some race other than black) says that she adopted black children in honor of her husband. He evidently passed away before they could have kids of their own. So, she adopted black children after his passing.
However, the mom admits that it’s hard explaining this to other people. It sounds like she faces a lot of judgment or un-informed people who treat her differently for having black children when she, in fact, is not black. There’s still a taboo against parents who adopt kids of another race, and it sounds like this mom has been experiencing the brunt of it. All that matters is the kids are happy and healthy, not whether everyone’s skin color matches.
8. I Tried To Give Her Back
We wish this mom was able to give her child away because she doesn’t sound like a fit parent! This woman says that she immediately regretted adopting a child of a different race… so much so; she decided to call the adoption agency to give her baby back. How despicable is that? It’s unimaginable to think of a parent trying to abandon their kids, but this is proof that it happens all too often.
It definitely sounds like the child shouldn’t have been placed in this woman’s care in the first place. It also doesn’t seem like she had the right intentions when it came to adopting a child. We hope the baby never hears the tale of how their adoptive mom wanted to give them back. That would be utterly devastating and heartbreaking.
7. This Wasn’t My Choice
This confession just makes us roll our eyes. This mom is claiming that she had no choice in adopting children of a different race. It was her husband’s idea! She says she would have preferred adopting or having kids of her own skin color.
Excuses, excuses. First of all, it’s a horrible thing to despise your adopted child simply because they’re of a different race. Secondly, it’s horrible to say that you didn’t want to adopt them in the first place and that you were coerced.
As we’ve said before, adoption is obviously a huge decision that should be made with careful consideration. The parents need to be on the same page when it comes to everything, including the child that they want to adopt. Who else thinks this marriage didn’t survive?
6. No One Believes Me
How infuriating would be it be if someone didn’t believe your kid was actually your own? This is what happens on a regular basis to this parent, it sounds like. For whatever reason, they’ve been raising their sister’s daughter as their own, who happens to be half white and half Chinese. But the tricky part is that no one seems to believe that the parent is related to the little girl.
This confessor probably isn’t just complaining that strangers don’t think they’re blood relatives. She might face this type of discrimination if she’s trying to travel with the child, or get any official documents renewed, like a birth certificate. It can even be difficult to enroll your kid in school if you don’t have the same last name and don’t look like them, too.
5. She Gets Bullied Because Of It
It’s tough for any parent to learn that their kid is being bullied in school. But we bet it’s even more heartbreaking to learn that the bullying has to do with skin color. This parent admits that their daughter is teased in school for having white parents when she’s not white herself. This is proof that kids can be exceptionally cruel, especially when they don’t understand things completely.
The best thing in this circumstance would be to take the bullying allegations to the principal so they can address it with the other kids and their parents. It’s never okay to bully someone, especially over race. If this issue isn’t dealt with in childhood, it means the bullies could carry racist sentiments into their adult years, which can be even more damaging.
4. I Did It To Prove A Point
Okay, this confession has got to be a joke. This woman pretty much admits to wanting to become the next Angelina Jolie, but for all the wrong reasons. She says that she adopted a black child simply because her friends informed her that she’s not a charitable person.
Um, if someone really wanted to work on that, they’d volunteer at a soup kitchen or visiting hospital patients. Most people’s first reactions wouldn’t be to go out and adopt an impoverished child. In this case, it feels like the mom is almost using her child as an accessory, to make the point that she is a good human.
3. Sometimes I Think I’m Selfish
This parent admits they feel bad because they can’t answer all of their child’s question about where they came from.
This is a common issue in many families that adopt children of a different ethnic background. Mom and dad may not know much about the child’s native culture or about their biological family. This parent says people call her selfish for raising a child of a different race, and she says that sometimes she agrees with them.
Hopefully, this mom or dad stuck things through and knew that not being able to answer all of their child’s questions doesn’t make them a bad parent. So long as the parent is supportive of their child looking into their background in the future, then that’s all that matters.
2. I Feel Like A Bad Mom
Here’s another parent that wishes they would have adopted children with the same skin color as them. We’re curious as to know why they decided to adopt a child of a different race in the first place. Certainly, they must have asked themselves whether it’s something they’d regret in the future.
We can’t imagine this mom thought things over well before rushing into adoption based on the doubts she’s having now. To answer her question, it doesn’t necessarily make her a bad mom to have regrets. It’s really all about how she acts on those regrets.
Hopefully, she decided to just stick things through and was able to overcome her doubts. All that matters is she had beautiful children who called her mom. It shouldn’t matter what the color of their skin is.
1. I’m Secretly Racist
Um, what? This person confesses that they’re racist… so they adopted a child of a different race. It sounds like they may have some sort of prejudice towards their own ethnicity, leading them to adopt a kid with a different skin color. However, this just sounds weird. Is someone who is so openly racist able to provide a good environment for a child of a different ethnicity?
We’re really hoping this parent had the right intentions when they adopted their child. This confession makes it seem like they didn’t, so don’t blame us for being a bit worried. Imagine explaining to your adopted child that the only reason you wanted to adopt them was the color of their skin. Something tells us that wouldn’t go over well.
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