Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I bring you this, the ultimate list of creepy websites dedicated to bringing people together, people who must also be creepy to want to use these avenues for finding love. Actually, I take that back; the creepiness is relative. After all, there are enough people out there to make sites like this successful, not to mention the fact that they exist, at all. It’s a freaky world out there, folks, and it is about to get much freakier.
Everyone has heard of Ashley Madison, the website for married people to have an affair with other married people. Sadly, that is only the beginning, and when it comes to online dating, things get much, much weirder than people cheating. Even some weird sites like 420 Dating, SaladMatch, Farmers Only, Ugly Schmucks, Fat Bastard Dating, Sea Captain Date, Amish Dating, Mullet Passions, Singles With Food Allergies, Ninja Enthusiasts, ‘Stache Passions (for those who love mustaches oh-so much), Naturist Dating (read: nude dating), and various websites for sugar daddies do not compare to some of the things you would be surprised to learn that people actually look for. Dating websites have, as you can see, gotten very specific in their quest to join like-minded love-seekers.
This, however, is not only a list that encompasses bad, sad, freaky, and specific. All of the following 17 dating sites that actually exist are downright disturbing. They are creepy for various reasons, but all are creepy nonetheless. Curious as to what could be weirder or creepier than some of the aforementioned (and also very real) sites? Read on, my friend. Perhaps you will find yourself just the niche site you need to find a Valentine’s Date. But for most of you, it is more likely that you will just cringe and think, WTF?
17. Breast Investors
This is a take on the whole sugar daddy idea, which apparently, a ton of people are just fine with. But it is much more specific. Instead of just money, men interact with the 4,000+ women looking to surgically enhance what the good Lord gave them. The men “help the women of their dreams achieve the body of their dreams”, which almost sounds nice when you put it like that, forgetting of course, that there is a price to pay for essentially buying love. The ladies on this site can “safely network with benefactors online and earn donations to help achieve their cosmetic surgery goals”. The donated money goes into a “boob bank”, and is then paid directly to an MFI-affiliated plastic surgeon. 1,100 women have received surgery through this website, which is the biggest of its kind in the world. Although it is supposed to be for people 18 and over, there is no screening to prevent younger people from participating, and it is common knowledge that the donors do not just provide money for messages alone.
16. Furry Flings
Yes, this is a thing. Furfling.com is just one of the many sites dedicated to bringing together people who call themselves “furries”. A furry is, by definition, “an enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics, in particular a person who dresses up in a costume such as a character or uses one in an avatar online”. It is free to join the furry community of furfling.com, although you must be 18 or older to participate. Their website advertises that, as opposed to other furry dating sites, they allow adult content such as artwork and nudity. However, “cub porn” is forbidden, and they reserve the right to remove anything they deem distasteful (seems like “distasteful” is awfully relative…). Furfling.com was launched in 2012, and since then has had some questionable reviews by its users, as have other furry sites of its kind.
15. Clownin’ Around
If you are one of the many people out there who get freaked out by clowns, perhaps you can rest assured that maybe clowns like to stick to their own kind (by the way, the fear of clowns is officially called coulrophobia). At least, those who use this lovely website do. These clowns on this website look friendly enough, but there are undoubtedly the scary kind lurking around these websites, too. And there are a surprising number of dating websites reserved specifically for clowns, if you can believe it. There is clowndating.com, clownpassions.com, boohiccup.com, and more, all aimed at bringing together those among us who are “clowns, clown wannabes, or clown lovers.” Because apparently, behind all the makeup and red noses, are lonely hearts.
14. The Undead
Apparently, there are enough zombies roaming around out there that zombie dating sites are a thing… and there are enough of them to make this dating site successful. And by zombie, I mean humans who think they are zombies, or perhaps even more disturbing, enjoy pretending they are. Zombiepassions.com is “100% free zombie dating and social networking for zombies and zombie lovers.” Many of their members look like serial killers, but never mind that. These souls searching for love can connect with one another in this so-called “zombie community”. It is advertised as being for romance, love, friendship, information, emotional support, and connection between people who have the zombie lifestyle in common. Now, there may actually be some logical reasons to find love with a zombie, including but not limited to the fact that zombies are pursuers, so you will always feel wanted. Also, no one will blame you if you kill your date.
13. Death and Social Circles
There is a website called deadmeet.com, where people who work in the field of death can come together and meet each other. Medical examiners, funeral directors, coroners, gravediggers, and other sorts of death industry professionals are all welcome here. Personally, I would not want to base a romantic relationship off my profession, especially such a grisly one, but that is just me. Deadmeet.com is branded as both a dating and networking site, and is open for people to join whether they are actually an industry professional or simply curious. According to the site’s FAQ page, people in similar professions, such as taxidermists, crematorium techs, and anatomists should all feel at home here, as well. What a morbid little community they have! This is a not-for-profit site run by a woman named Carla, who has bright red hair and is a qualified Anatomical Pathology Technician and Pathology Technical Curator.
12. Polygamy Dating
Sisterwives.us is a polygamy dating website whose purpose is to join together “loving sister wives” and their potential husbands. For some reason, it seems a lot creepier than the polygamous Brown family of TLC’s Sister Wives we all know and love, but really, it is the exact same thing. You may think of this as just an American thing, but if you actually visit the website, there is a map showing everywhere in the world members of this dating site live, and let me tell you, it is pretty much everywhere except, it seems, Russia (which is kind of surprising, although they are probably too busy being mail-order brides). However, the most populous places for this site’s members is the U.S. and Europe. From the members’ photos, the group seems to be predominantly made up of men with beards, and women who are either African American, just African, or young, unwed mothers. You can also join as a couple if that is something that tickles your fancy.
11. Dead But Not Gone
The “best dating site for dead singles” is, of course, ghostsingles.com. They advertise as being the internet’s only dating site exclusively for “those who have passed away, but not gone away”. Intriguing. In the off-chance you are going to die soon and plan on still looking for a lover post-mortem, here is what you need to know: there is no age discrimination, as you can highlight your age for your profile, and the numbers go all the way up to 1000+. They are bilingual in English and Spanish, and it is 100% free (because the old saying rings true, that you can’t take your earthly possessions or money with you when your time comes). But what seems like the best part of this whole thing is filling out your profile. In addition to allowing any age, you can put in how you died, and choose your body type from adjectives including wispy, airy, ethereal, and so on and so forth. But beware- if you hit the “submit” button as a human, you will be informed that you are, in fact, not a ghost. Yes, I am serious.
10. Can Do Better
This one is seriously unbelievable. And it is creepy that there are that many shallow people (and shallow to that level) out there that would be interested in something like this. Here is the premise: candobetter.com matches people who have been approved to be a part of the site after couples post individual photos of themselves and are then ranked by who members think could “do better”. Whoever gets more votes, gets to connect with others through the site. There is all sorts of morbid fun to be had here; rating, dating, and virtual gifts are just the beginning. You can be a Premium Member or a Freemium Member, rate your date, and rate (ahem, judge) others by their photos. You can even ask a sex therapist your questions. So much fun! But really, the members kind of asked for it, since couples frequently join together to see who can do better and if they should keep on keepin on.
9. Blood Suckers
Believe it or not, there are a bunch of websites out there whose sole mission is to bring together those of us who think they are vampires. There is vampirepassions.com, datevampires.com, vampersonals.com, the list goes on. And I don’t know which is creepier: that there are vampire dating sites, or that there are so many of them that apparently being a vampire is a thing and the sites are thus just that popular. Probably what freaks me out more than anything, actually, is that people think/act like they are vampires. Wtf, people? But there is more. Apparently, a “person” can be a sanguine vampire or a psychic vampire, and that distinction determines things going forward with vampire dating, at least on vampirepassions.com, where vampires, vampire lovers, and even vampire hunters can chat, message, and email.
8. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
There is a dating website out there that caters to doomsday preppers and survivalists. There are several of them, actually. They purport that after a crisis, individuals may be able to survive for a period of time alone, but ultimately companionship is needed to really thrive post-apocalypse. Makes sense. It feels weird to base a romance off of the apocalypse, but for now we’ll go with it. On some of the sites, like survivallife.com, you can take quizzes to find out if you are a “true survivalist”, find campfire recipes, lots of how-to tutorials, and more. There is kwink.com, pepperdating.com, and survivalistsingles.com. The latter hosts 4000 members, of which 2900 are men and 1100 are women. Some of the sites popped up just in time for the prophesied 2012 apocalypse, allowing thousands of lonely souls to find their mates based on survival skills.
7. Mental Cases
Did you know there is a website out there designed to play matchmaker for people with mental illness? No joke; if you are an adult with a “serious mental illness”, and have an actual diagnosis of one, then the world’s oldest and largest website for mental cases, nolongerlonely.com, may be for you. They advertise that this way, you never again have to worry about disclosing your disorder to a partner, hiding pill bottles from them, and you can be with someone who truly understands your struggles. That is all well and good, but it kind of seems like the people seeking love on sites like this (and many of the others on this list) are doing so strictly to avoid the embarrassment that comes with revealing psychiatric disorders to a new love interest, and not because they really want to date someone with crazy issues of their own (obvs). Still, I suppose if you have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, dissociative disorder, or any of the other myriad disorders they list on the site, then you might not really care about the little details like that. You probably have bigger fish to fry.
6. No Uglies Allowed
This one is very creepy. It is a little reminiscent of Hitler’s plan of “ethnic cleansing” (ok, maybe that is a stretch, but not by much). But to go on a dating website like darwindating.com, you have to be, well, aesthetically pleasing, to say the least. Anything less is unacceptable. It is ugly people cleansing, so to speak, and in fact, there is even a “chimp calculator” to let you know just how unattractive you are, if that is the case. Inner beauty does not count, by the way, and the standards for outer beauty are strict. It is, as they say on the site, “online dating minus ugly people”. You could also seek out the services of beautiful people.com, which is exactly what it sounds like, or genepartner.com, which matches people based on their DNA profile. This, according to them, leads to relationships with a more satisfying sex life, higher fertility rates, and an increased likelihood of forming a lasting relationship. No matter how you slice it though, all of the above are weird AF.
5. Date Your Lookalike
Along the lines of genetics, there is also findyourfacemate.com. I am not talking any normal sort of cutesy, Ken-and-Barbie-type scenario, here. No, this dating site literally helps a person to find love with someone who physically resembles them. Some have called it “doppelganger dating”, but others call it downright creepy, as do I. However, apparently looking alike is a good sign of compatibility (I know a bunch of lookalike siblings shaking their heads right now). Scientists have found that passion is subconsciously ignited when a person sees someone whose facial features are similar to their own. Findyourfacemate.com uses facial recognition technology to match members to each other. But at least the founder of the site, Christina Bloom, says it is not about being pretty, it is about looking alike.
4. STD Soulmates
Yes, this is a thing, and it is admittedly worse than the kinda-similar dating sites for those with allergies (like really, you want to use your shared gluten intolerance as criteria for finding a life partner?). Anyway, there are a shocking number of dating websites whose sole purpose is to unite in love those infected with sexually-transmitted diseases. I guess it is a good thing (maybe), considering that one out of every four people in the United States will have contracted an STD by the time they reach adulthood. So in a nutshell, people can find love being very upfront about one of the most personal things in life, and they can do it on STD-specific websites like herpesfish.com, hsvsingles.com (HPV), or genitalwartsdating.com (God, I’d love to tell that how-I-met-you story one day!). Alternatively, there are all-in-one websites, if you don’t care what kind of STD a person has, as long as they have one.
3. Diaper Fetish
Ok, it might not just be for those who have a diaper “fetish”, but also for those who simply like wearing a diaper around. Apparently, this too is a thing (I am beginning to wonder what isn’t?). Yet another great how-I-met-you story to regale disgusted audiences with down the road, websites like dailydiapers.com and diapermates.com bring together many couples. One site, abdlmatch.com (Adult Baby Diaper Lovers) says on its homepage that, “We offer the sickest platform”, and I would have to agree with that statement. This site helps adult babies connect with “mommies” and “daddies” and vice-versa. On diapermates.com, people post diaper-wetting videos, photos of their nurseries (and of course of themselves in diapers), and some women offer breastfeeding. On plentyoffish.com’s diaper section (yes, they have one), one woman’s profile says, “I’m an adult baby, which means I like to be treated like, well, a baby. Though of course it does not have to be 24/7. That would be silly.” Yes, because everything else about that statement is not silly, at all. And this girl is only the beginning of the diaper madness.
2. Marry Me, Dammit!
Here is an odd one: marrymealready.com, and yes, it is exactly what it sounds like, and to me it sounds like a high-maintenance bridezilla, or one of those women who plans her whole wedding before even having a boyfriend. The aptly-titled website does make sense on some levels (I guess). I mean, when searching for a soulmate online, it is already pretty clear what your intentions are, but this way they are really clear. There is no f-ing around here; it is the real deal, the fast-track to marriage. Whereas some of the sites on this list like survillife.com have more men than women, I am willing to bet that this one has the opposite problem. Just a hunch. It has a user rating of 90/100, though, so who knows? Perhaps I am just cynical (and very much so with this site, although wanting to be married, especially after a certain age, is understandable). Another similar website is called emarryme.com, which is for commitment-lovers and is specifically not a dating site, but a marriage agency whose members are all “on the same page”. Male members cannot join for free and must be from North America, with “respectable stature, financially and physically”. Ladies from anywhere in the world are welcome to create a free profile.
1. The Site for Stalkers
This could quite possibly take the cake for the creepiest-ever dating site. If you think about it, all dating sites are kinda creepy, and we expect that. What we don’t expect is some of the things this world’s depraved (yet creative) minds conjure up, and one of those crazy ideas is the website called Peeked Interest. It is a site that allows you to basically stalk your love interest by posting photos of strangers in the hope that they will see it and want to meet his or her photographer. Luckily, there is a “This is Me” button to confirm your identity, and a “Report” button if you want your picture taken down. The existence of these buttons is comforting, but it does not take away from the sheer creepy-crawly feeling you get (or at least I, as a woman, get) when you think of this insane website, which started on a college campus in Canada. On one hand, it shows the lack of confidence and social awkwardness of the pursuer, neither of which are attractive qualities. On the other, it is understandable that people are shy. That this would end up leading to a successful relationship, however, is likely the exception and not the rule.
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