What's more charming than a child and an animal sharing a pleasant moment? Very little, friends, very little. From pictures of a puppy and a pint-sized person eating the same ice cream cone to videos of kittens crawling over newborn humans, the Interwebs are flush with adorable scenes of cute kids and animals getting along famously. Now, what's less charming than a child and an animal sharing a pleasant moment? How about seeing a kid get owned by an animal instead. (While not often as adorable, these moments are often pretty damn funny, at least.)
Woe to the person who forgets that, under the right circumstances, all animals can be capricious, violent, and sometimes just kind of jerks. We treat them as unintelligent at our peril, and as easily predictable at risk to our own wellbeing (or at least to our sense of pride). And in the days of the smartphone camera, it's a safe bet that every time an animal breaks out of its normal docile, cuddly, or steadfast character, there's going to be video or photo evidence of the aftermath. Let's take a look at a few times that a camera meant to capture a Halcyon moment instead captured kids getting owned by animals.
15 Sea Lion Snatches Girl
People around the globe watched in horror as in May of 2017 a young girl was snatched off of a pier and dragged down into the water by a California sea lion. Though the animal only sunk his teeth into the girl's dress, and while she was quickly rescued by the combined efforts of a heroic older relative who dove into the water as well as by others on the dock, the situation was still harrowing for how different the outcome might have been. Had the animal's sharp teeth found flesh and/or held her below the water, the result might have been a true tragedy, instead of a GIF you watch on repeat with your mouth slightly agape.
14 Slap a Cat, Get Slapped Back
13 The Kangaroo Kick
I'm not 100% sure what the adult in this situation was thinking as he allowed a small child to run toward a kangaroo, but it's quite clear what the kangaroo was feeling. It would probably translate to something like this: "Hey, small human, don't charge me, because KICK IN THE FACE!" Just because an animal is in a petting zoo doesn't mean it's a good idea to bum rush it, especially if you're all of about two and a half feet tall. This kid learned the hard way that you don't mess with marsupials.
12 Camel Asserts His Dominance
A trip through a safari park is lots of fun... until you have a camel's face in your face, and your wrist nibbled by camel teeth. These kids will probably think twice before they pop up out of the sunroof again, especially when they drive into lion territory. The question remains why they waited until the camel was all of six inches away to retreat into the vehicle, but it's probably because kids tend to lack common sense and experience with aggressive camels. These are things we learn as we grow, and sometimes it takes a close encounter with a large mammal for the lesson to really sink in.
11 Flying Cat Attack
When you see this kid spinning a cat toy around in circles under the close, watchful eye of a cat, it doesn't take a huge mental leap to conclude he is probably about to get jumped by a cat. What you don't expect is said jump attack to come from a feline flying in from 2 o'clock high, all four paws extended in full attack mode as the other cat calmly bides its time. Surely the child was fine, but surely he'll also think twice about what constitutes playing versus baiting next time. If there ever is a next time, that is.
10 A Spiteful Beluga
9 Double Punch Goat
8 Horse Gets Revenge
7 Canine Clothesline
6 Dog Triple Strike
5 Gorilla Has Had Enough
You know how annoying it can be when a kid is mouthing off or whining in a grocery store/subway train/checkout line/pretty much anywhere you take them? Don't you sometimes want to just snap and yell "Hey, enough goddammit!" Well, when you're a gorilla, the same societal conventions don't apply, and you can go right ahead and do (the gorilla equivalent of) that. This gorilla tolerates the banging and screaming of these ill-behaved kids for a while, then decided enough is enough and gives them a well deserved scare. Hats off to you, gorilla. You're the hero we need.
4 Another Beluga Has Had Enough
Beluga whales are not only highly intelligent but are also either quite playful or extremely angry, if internet videos have taught us anything, at any rate. Here we see yet another beluga scaring human children. When his first surprising gape doesn't sufficiently frighten the kids, the whale regroups, then flashes a much larger, much more aggressive snarl. His behavior is strangely identifiable; you can almost hear the whale saying: "What? WHAT!? Yeah, that's right. I'm a whale."
3 Dog Goes for the Top
2 Into the Drink
The setup here is so painfully obvious you would almost think this tableau was staged save for the fact that it is scientifically impossible to train a cat. Therefore you know this is a genuine scenario: a young boy leans over a swimming pool, reaching out for a ball that fell in, and soon enough an opportunistic airborne cat flies in and knocks the child into the water, then executes a perfect escape itself. One can only imagine how proud the cat must have felt about this surgical strike. That is the kind of precision that just can't be taught.
1 Dog Owns Boy, Cat Owns Dog
Alright, yes, we've taken a lot of shots at cats here today, but only because cats are so often jerks to people. But the fact is that most cats are good pets and decently well-tempered animals, they just need their space. This cat, however, is a badass crime fighter who needs a cape, mask and a signal light shining in the night sky. When a young boy playing in his own driveway was suddenly attacked by a neighborhood dog that had gotten loose, the family cat immediately comes flying headlong into the action, driving the dog away and saving the child from what could have been serious injuries.